


Breathe Again

by BlakesBodyGuard



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bellarke, Chance Meetings, Chef Clarke, Dancing, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Humor, Love at First Sight, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Minor Bellamy Blake/Echo, Minor Finn Collins/Clarke Griffin, Mutual Pining, Walks On The Beach, Widowed, World Travel, Writer Bellamy, based on my real novel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-01-15 07:29:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 55
Words: 122,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18494227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlakesBodyGuard/pseuds/BlakesBodyGuard
Summary: Clarke is widowed at 27. Her life hadn’t turned out at all the way it was supposed to.She travels the world trying to deal with her grief, confronting her past, living in the present and maybe planning a new future.Along the way she meets up with old friends and lovers, and meets new ones as well.Can anyone see past her circumstances and love her for who she is now?Will the mysterious writer that comes into her life by chance be able to show her that it’s her circumstances that makes her who she is? Who he falls in love with? Or is it just her story he falls in love with?*Fully Edited and Complete!”





	1. Breathe, Just Breathe.

**Author's Note:**

> As I wrote my novel, I just had to make a version with some of my favorite actors and characters from my favorite show!
> 
> Enjoy! Comments and Suggestions are always welcomed!
> 
>  
> 
> I’m new on Twitter so come yell at me and discuss there @BlakesBodyGuard

It’s ominous isn’t it? For the dark skies to open up and pour rain on a day like today.

Every funeral Clarke has ever attended was on a day like this. Grandparents, Loved ones of Friends, In-Laws, even her own Father just 2 years ago.

She gets up, puts on something black, pulls her hair back and essentially dresses as subtle and understated as possible in hopes of getting lost in the sea of mourning people.

It’s not that she doesn't mourn, it’s just that she was never a visible crier in front of people, especially strangers she hardly knew, always afraid that people will mistake that for being cold or not caring.

Today, however, she cannot fade into the faces, cannot hide her true feelings or hope to not catch any attention no matter how scarce she makes herself, because today all eyes are on her.

She is the 27 year old widow whose husband was taken too soon in an accident, and no amount of hiding can keep her out of the spotlight today.

This is a new version of Hell.

 

One Year Later 

 

**Clarke:**

“So, you’re probably wondering where I've been. Actually, let’s be real, we both know that I didn’t need to come here for you to know this. Remember how we use to talk about how weird it was that people would come to a graveyard and talk to a headstone and find it therapeutic? We both know that you’ve been up there having the time of your life and watching out for me, making sure I didn’t fall off my rocker after you ditched me, but I figured I would come here and see if I could find what others would when they visit these places, so here I am.” She said looking at the headstone that was picked out and put up a few weeks after she left.

“Your Dad was so mad that I left right after the service and that I didn’t keep in touch, but who was he kidding? He didn’t like me when you were here, and with you gone that wouldn’t have made anything better. I did tell my mom and sister where I was headed, and while they were worried in the beginning, I told them I was doing it on your orders, and of course when has my mom ever questioned you?”

“Europe was cool, I ate way too much food and paid for it by walking everywhere. With the number of bakeries I got to visit I’m surprised my arteries didn’t shut down after the first month. I made it over to China eventually just for you, even though you know I would’ve preferred a small quiet island laying on a beach undisturbed, as opposed to the masses of people in the streets of Hong Kong but I did it. Then I headed ‘Down Under’, and experienced all of my Cake Crushes from the other side of the world, then travelled the Hobbit Trails in New Zealand before finally getting that relaxing beach time.” she continued with her adventure stories.

An hour had passed like that. Finally, she stood up, grabbed the blanket off the ground and with a final look, “Thank you for pushing me to go to the places that we always said we would go, and to not be afraid to do it alone and continue on. Without that I wouldn’t have made it out of this parking lot the first time. I will always love you and I hope you can forgive me for moving on from this place, only because I know that wherever I decide to end up, you’ll be there.”

A single tear fell without her permission, then she was in her car before she even realized she had even moved a step.

 

Clarke made the drive down that familiar route to the house they spent months searching for that ticked all their wish list boxes, pulled into the meticulously organized garage and walk out to look up at what could be considered their biggest and proudest ‘Adult Purchase’.

She walked up to the white railing that lined the wrap around porch, then she stopped and sat on the bench swing that her and Wells would spend lazy weekend mornings on drinking coffee and talking about what was next for them.

Just two kids pretending to be adults and trying to navigate their way through the ups and downs of job changes, moving to new places, infertility and marriage in general. It was never easy, and she would be lying if she said they didn’t almost call it quits more times than she would like to admit, but they always somehow came out on the other side.

“Well, I guess it's time to go inside...”

 

It’s weird, after being gone for so long, there is always a smell that just tells you that you are home. It smells new and like fresh paint, just like it did the day they moved in.

She slowly walked through the entry way and passed the office to the left where she decided to sell her business to focus on starting a family, to the right was a formal dining room that they only used for holidays, through there was the kitchen where recipes were created and messes were made. It was definitely covered in flour and sugar on more than one occasion.

Looking out from the kitchen island, over to the living room where every football game imaginable was watched, she took a deep breath and steeled herself for what she knew was coming next. There was only one room left on the main floor. The Master Suite.

Clarke stood in front of the closed door and tried to steady her hand before she just bit the bullet and opened it.

It was eerily identical as the day she left it. She told her sister she could pack it up for donations or to sell it, but here it was.

The bed made neatly, the scarf hanging on the corner of the floor mirror, the jewelry box sitting on top of the dresser and the pictures on the nightstand. Reaching for the one on her bedside table, she was pleasantly surprised that it wasn’t covered in a layer of dust, but leave it to her sister to make sure everything stayed cleaned while remaining exactly where it belonged. The picture was one of her favorites at a concert they had went to, and Wells had the frame customized with a letter he wrote for one of their anniversaries.

“Life began the day I met you. You bring out the best in me, and I cannot imagine my life without you.”

She read the words over and over and must’ve been distracted, because she missed the sound of the door opening.

“You know, you better be glad you left the garage door open so I could see your car, or I might have come in swinging a bat” the voice said.

Letting out a small sound between a chuckle and a sob, she turned around and called the name of the person standing in the doorway. “Hi Mom.”


	2. Home, the place where I can go.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting Clarke’s Family!

Clarke stood and walked over to wrap her mother in the biggest hug She could muster. All the traveling and emotional exhaustion was taking over now.

“I’m so glad that you’re finally home.” Abby said. “But how did you get here? How long have you been here? Did your sister know and not tell me?” she said raising an eyebrow and looking at Clarke expectantly.

  
“No, Raven didn’t know I was coming, until I showed up at her office and asked for my car and house keys. I Ubered from the airport, I got in around 9am this morning, and I just got here half an hour ago.” she answered with a shrug.

 

“Seems like you’ve had a busy day already, and it’s only noon Clarke. Are you hungry? I can imagine you’re exhausted from all that traveling and time change, but I want to make sure you eat something. You kept getting skinnier every time you sent photos.” Abby said concerned, of course one of the first things she would ask about is if Clarke had eaten, such a mom thing.

  
“I had breakfast, or early dinner with the time zone my body is still in, but I could use another cup of coffee.”

  
They made their way back into the kitchen, and Clarke started getting everything out for coffee like she had nearly every morning with everything still in the same place. She was going through the motions without even thinking about it. Once they sat at the bar with their coffee, Clarke saw her mom struggle to say or ask what was weighing on her mind, but she opted for polite instead.

  
“So how was your trip? I know we would hear about your adventures and see photos of your previous destination on your way to the next one, but I want to hear everything!” Abby sipped her coffee as Clarke recounted the main highlights of her travels, all the food, tourist spots, cute Airbnb's and Foreign Travel, Airlines and Customs.

  
“Did you find what you were looking for?” Abby asked hesitantly.

  
“I don’t really know if I was searching for anything. Honestly, I just knew I couldn’t stick around for the sad condolences, pity casseroles and the expectancy of having a mental breakdown. Wells told me not to sit and stew or I would go crazy. He told me to go and do and live, so I did. I’m not saying I held it together all the time, because there were times where I would see something or do something and I would turn to tell him, expecting him to be there and he wasn’t.”

”I stayed inside for two full days when I first got to China, because I couldn’t bear to see everything he always wanted to and talked about, without breaking down. I just looked at photos and listened to old voicemails for those two days. What finally got me out of bed on the third day, was a voice in my head telling me I was wasting this chance and opportunity to do what he never could and I owed him that.” Clarke said nonchalant.

  
“By the time I was in New Zealand, doing the Hobbit Trail, I finally felt like I wasn’t struggling to breathe anytime I thought of him or saw a photo of him. It started to get easier to just sit and think about him without losing it. I sat on top of one of the hills and looked out over all the green beneath me and just decided that it was time to come back and face what was next.”

She couldn’t look at her mother, because she knew what was coming next and she didn’t have the energy to start that just yet.

  
“But I think I'd rather face it, after I've had a nap. Would that be okay, and I can fill you and Raven in on everything when she gets here?” Abby knew Clarke was avoiding whatever it was that she had planned, but let it go for now.

  
“Sure, I’ll hang out here and take care of some things I had planned for the day and then I guess go get your sister since she doesn’t have your car at the office. I’ll wake you when we get back, and we can have dinner.”

  
With that Clarke made her way back to their, correction, her bedroom and crashed immediately. She can tell them about leaving again at dinner.

 

 

“Wake up sleeping beauty, I know there are gifts you are dying to give us in those suitcases of yours!” Raven, always right to the point. Clarke taught her well.

Her Family had applied to be foster parents when Clarke was 12. Raven was the first and only child that came into their home. She was officially adopted a year later, and Clarke couldn’t be happier to have Raven as her sister.

  
“Yes, I did. I hope they all made in one piece. What time is it anyway?” Clarke asked looking around for her phone to see the time.

  
“It’s 8pm. Apparently you’ve been out for around 7 hours according to Mom. Hopefully you can get back to sleep in a few hours to fight that jet lag, otherwise we will all get to deal with crabby Clarke.” Raven said with a knowing smirk on her face and an arched eyebrow.

  
“Well we can’t have that, now can we? Let’s get some food and I can start unpacking and washing, then I should be ready to go back to sleep. How was work?”

  
Raven started running the family business once their Dad had passed away, and she was a force to be reckoned with.

Working in an industry made up mostly of men she had to be. Luckily, she hasn’t had any major issue and has been able to not only maintain, but also grow and expand the business.

  
“Work was work. Sign time stamps, write checks, order for inventory, tell Wick to get over himself, the usual.” Her mouth slightly upturned on that last one.

  
“So, you and Wick huh?” Clarke asked with a wink, mainly to be nosey, but also to deflect all the questions she knew were coming her way.

  
“Don’t even start with me. He drives me insane, he’s a know it all, but really knows nothing at all, and likes to wear shirts 2 sizes too small on purpose to show off his P90X biceps. Dude lifts heavy objects all day at work, then goes to a gym and does the same thing. I just don’t understand people who only live to work and workout. What kind of life is that? And that annoying shaker thing he’s always drinking out of with some odd concoction, I mean THAT’S NOT FOOD!” she rushed in a huff. Clarke couldn’t help but giggle at Ravens expense, because she was so smitten and couldn’t help it.

  
They’ve known Wick for 8 years, ever since he came to work for their Dad and worked his way up to Manager. He held down the fort so to speak, as they dealt with all the things that come when a loved one passes away and kept the company from crumbling while the rest of them couldn’t even think about it.

He truly was a golden boy, and their Dad always referred to him as his son and wanted her sister to make that official by marrying him. That of course, made her run the opposite way and their relationship became a weird, flirtatious, bickering and arguing type thing, but hey whatever works.

  
“You know, you guys are worse than kids in elementary school pulling hair and throwing pencils at each other to show affection.”

  
She just rolled her eyes and walked out with a “Get out of bed loser, I'm hungry and we can’t eat without you.”

Yes, it’s good to be back.


	3. Hold onto to me, cause I’m a little unsteady.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Girl’s Night that ends in a Deal.

Back in the kitchen, Abby hung up the phone, “Hello sleeping beauty, since it’s too late to cook, I ordered in. Food will be here in 30 minutes.”

  
Clarke felt like she had been in an airplane for days, well 20 hours, so close enough so she grabbed one of her bags, “I think I'll take a quick shower then, wash all the travel off and maybe feel human again. Is the washer free so I can start unloading some of my clothes?”

  
Abby being the mom that she is came and started grabbing Clarkes bags, “Of course honey, I’ll get a load started for you. Go shower and food will be here soon.”

  
Man, did She miss someone waiting on her, and not even out of pity.

 

  
When Clarke finally emerged from the steamy sauna she created in the bathroom in some clean PJ’s and hair wrapped up in a towel, Raven was unloading the food that must have just gotten there.

  
“Perfect timing. Egg Rolls, Low Mien, Teriyaki, Beef and Broccoli, Fried Rice and Izzies. Your feast awaits!” She said proudly displaying all the food over the counter with her arms wide open.

  
“Yum! I’ve missed this stuff. I mean you can imagine me trying not to insult the Chinese when I was there, when all I wanted was Take Out Chinese food, which is nothing like what they really eat over there. I just tried to stick to things that I could tell what they were.” Clarke said stuffing an egg roll in her mouth.

  
“Glad to see you are still as classy as you were before your world excursion, don’t forget to chew for crying out loud! I’m not in the mood to give you the Heimlich if you start choking.” typical Raven.

  
“I love you too seester!” Clarke said with a mouth full just to continue annoying her. She rolled her eyes and sat at the bar with her plate.  
Abby came in shortly after, looking at the food, “Thanks for saving some girls! I put the first load in the dryer, and the second load is going now. Let’s eat, before Raven gets a hold of the rest.” She said nudging Clarke’s arm.

  
“Hey, I just wanted to get to it before it got cold!” Raven argued with her hands in the air.

  
After dinner, they each sat on the sectional, feet propped up, and cuddled in the many throw blankets they kept around the house groaning in pain. “Why did we eat so much?!” Clarke said in agony.

  
“Because leftovers are for quitters, and I'm no quitter.” Raven shot back.

  
Clarke couldn’t help but laugh, but laughing soon turned painful. ”Ahh, stop! It hurts too much to laugh. Okay, we need a distraction from our self-inflicted pain. Presents!” She said all but rolling off the couch and grabbing her carry-on bag from the entry way.

  
“Mom, Clarke has presents!” Raven called out up the stairs.

  
“I’m coming. I was just finishing making the beds up here.” Abby said as she came down the stairs shortly after looking at them, “You girls are ridiculous, you know Golden Palace has insane portion sizes, yet you still think you can down it all in one go.” She said chuckling at the sight before her.

  
“To be fair, I had a salad at lunch and thought I could handle it. Why aren’t you so miserable?” Raven complained.

  
“Because, I knew when to stop, plus I happen to know that there is gelato in the freezer that I wasn’t going to pass up.” Abby said pointing a finger at them accusingly.

  
“WHAT?! Gelato is like ice cream, and ice cream doesn’t go to my stomach, it goes to my soul. Where is it?” Clarke said getting up and making her way to the freezer.

  
“It’s at the top, behind the chocolate bars you like that I stashed in the freezer for you.” Abby said casually.

  
Clarke brought the pints back with 3 spoons and settled back on the couch, gelato in hand. “Okay, now you can open your gifts.” she waved to the suitcase on the coffee table. For Abby she got handmade clay dishes that she discovered at a farmer's market type place in the wine country of Italy and for Raven, her Favorite bottles of Red from a gorgeous Winery in Florence.

  
She got them both traditional kimonos in China, and some trinkets from each country she visited. “I wish I could have brought back some of the delicious food and pastries I got to have, but I guess that means we will just need to plan a girl's trip!” she said with real enthusiasm, hoping it would cushion the blow she was about to deliver next.

  
“So, I need to talk to y’all about what's next...” Clarke trailed off, hoping to catch their attention and make it sound like it wasn’t a big deal.

  
“I am planning on putting the house on the market, and traveling some more. I have a few places I've been needing to visit, along with some people that I've been putting off and I figured now would be a good time to do it before I settle down somewhere.” she said with a small shrug.

  
She heard her mothers big inhale, and then felt Raven’s eyes wide on her. “Putting the house on the market? Does that just mean you’re moving somewhere else around here, or that you’re moving away?” Raven said a little bit accusing.

  
Clarke knew if she got any push back, it would be from Raven but it was best to be honest and get it over with now, instead of when she has all of her stuff packed and ready to go once the house sells.

  
“Honestly, I don’t know where I will end up. I have places on my mind that I need to visit, and if any of them stand out as where I need to be then that is where I will end up. You have to know, I can’t stay here. Everything here reminds me of him, of us, and I'm not trying to erase any of that, but I just can’t live in it every day and be okay. I became so dependent on him that I didn’t think I could even survive without him, but he told me I have to remember how to be me without him. He fell in love with me, just me, not me with him and he was right. I morphed into a part of him instead of being my own person. I had plans for my life before him, and I don’t regret my decisions, but I think I need to find what I want and what I need on my own and see where that takes me, because I have no idea what that even is anymore. I’m not running anymore I promise, but I really need to do this, and I hope y’all can understand that. It doesn’t mean that I’ll never come back, it just means I have to go and see what it is I need to do next.” Clarke said pleading with them to understand, which she could understand might be difficult since she just got back after being gone a year.

  
“I understand honey. After your dad, all I wanted to do was get out of town, go anywhere else, but I eventually came back because that is where I felt home was for me. As much as I would love here to be that for you, only you can decide that. When do you plan on leaving again? What can we help with?” Abby shocked them both.

  
Clarke thought her mother would be the hardest to convince, but sadly they both had one major thing in common. They both lost their husbands they built a life with, granted Clarke wasn’t married as long and she didn’t have children, but still they had both lost their other half.

  
“I’m giving a demo in two weeks at the University the week after their spring break, then I was going to head to Boston for a bit. After that, I need to go visit Anya and her new baby in Michigan, then I’ll make it down to Bryan in Southern Cal. After that, I don’t know. I have some contacts all over, but those are the trips I have scheduled as of right now.” Clarke said, mentally going over her itinerary.

  
“Well we will do whatever we can to help you with the house and storing your things if it sells while you’re gone.” Abby offered.

  
Clarke could see Raven mentally tuning out. “Or, I could sell the house to you if you wanted to continue living here Raven. I know you’ve been keeping this place running and immaculate while I've been gone. It would save me from having to put it on the market and sell all this stuff that I won’t be taking with me.” that seemed to snap her out of her trans.

  
She seemed to really think about it,” Wouldn’t that be weird? Me living in the house y’all built together?”

  
Clarke had thought about that before, “Well, you have been for the last year, and for me it would be the same as it has been, plus I could have a familiar place to crash when I come to visit. It’s close to the office and you wouldn’t have to worry about finding a house that meets your expectations since you basically helped me pick out most of this stuff. The offer is there if you want it, but you have time to think it over.” And then she felt a weight lift off of her shoulders.

  
They knew, cards were all out on the table and the trips were booked.

Here we go, the rest of Clarkes new life begins now.


	4. When the past comes calling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next stop, the Past and an Ex.

The next 2 weeks were spent unpacking and washing, labeling items Clarke wanted to keep and move to wherever it was she would end up, and repacking for the upcoming trips.

She was going to be in the South, North East, Midwest and West Cost. Packing for all these different climates and situations started to seem as complicated as a year-long global expedition.

 

While she was going through the house with Raven, deciding on what was being kept, left to Raven or donated, she came to his closet.

"I think I'll do this one on my own. Whatever I leave in here after going through it, is for donation." With a nod, Raven left the room. 

 

“Okay, Clarke just breathe. You can do this. You can open the door and go through his clothes." She mentally prepared myself.

 

As she pulled on the handle, she was instantly hit with the smell of him. Clarke ran her hands across all of his clothes hanging up, opened the drawers and saw all his favorite t-shirts that she couldn't imagine anyone else having.

She grabbed her favorites of his t-shirts and a few of his dress shirts she use to wear when she would get ready for those work events Wells would drag her to, and then she shut the door as quickly as she could, grabbed a sticky note and just wrote 'Donate' on it and put it on the outside of the closet door.

 

The hard part was over, now it was just the little things to finish dividing up. This was good, this was a big step in being able to breathe again.

 

"Okay, that seems to be everything." she said exiting the master bedroom. 

 

The look on Raven’s face said it all, "Are you sure that you're okay? Because it's perfectly normal to not be okay right now. I don't want you to suppress your grief for so long that it all comes to a head at one time." 

 

Clarke could tell she was nervous about broaching this topic, and she took a second to breathe and count to ten before responding.

"I know that I haven't grieved in front of anyone, but not everyone does that. I feel like I have grieved and probably still will in my own way. Not everyone has a visible, public breakdown of tears and sobs. I know myself, and if I give in to that then there is a good chance that I won't be able to stop it. I just need to do this my way, because the honest truth is there are some days I'm barely being held together with off brand glue." she laughed letting her know that she wasn't porcelain and would be alright talking about this.

 

"I just don't know how, and I'm kind of jealous that you have figured out how to compartmentalize. That's usually a thing Women don't come equipped with. We are programmed to operate with 100 tabs open at a time."  Raven explained.

 

Clarke told her how she discovered meditating and tai chi to help mourn in a healthy way, and not to let everything that reminded her of Wells cause her to have a panic attack and lose all feeling in her body. 

 

"Please teach me your ways sensei, because I'll be shocked if I make it to 30 without having a heart attack from stress." Raven joked.

 

Clarke reminded her "You know I was never one to deal with stress properly, but I highly recommend meditation. I bought some books about it and it helped explain the process and how to do it properly to be the most effective. It really was life changing as corny as that sounds. They are on the bookshelf in the living room." she pointed across the room. 

 

"So, are you ready to face the ole stomping grounds of the Alma Mater?" Raven asked. 

 

"I think so, it's been 5 years since I graduated, which I still can't believe. The last time I was there I was in my cap and gown, saying goodbye to everyone and rushing off to catch a flight home. It was so surreal, and I didn't really feel like I properly said goodbye to that life so it will be nice to be back and see what has changed. My advisor has been asking for over a year for me to come back and give a demo and lead a class about life after graduation and pursuing your own business or working for big companies. I guess I just feel like I stumbled upon a lot of what I learned and feel inadequate giving advice to college kids. I mean I still feel like one, and it's just seems like the blind leading the blind." Clarke said kind of dreading preparing what to even say to the students. 

 

"Well, don't over think it. Just speak from experience, plus it's a familiar place to you and once you get into the demo all those nerves will fall away. You've always been good under pressure. But I have to ask, is there anyone who might still be in that area that you were planning on seeing? Inquiring minds want to know." Raven said with a wink. 

 

"I'm sure word about me coming back to the area will get to him eventually, but it's not something I was planning. If he feels the need to see me then he will know where I am, considering he went to school there as well, but no it's not something I have reached out about. I am going to do dinner with Jasper which I am really looking forward to. He said his roommates will be out of town, so knowing us it'll turn into a slumber party gossiping about everyone from our class and who is still around the area. He just broke up with his boyfriend, so I'm sure there will be plenty of junk food involved knowing him." Clarke said thinking about one of her best friends from college. 

 

"Jasper was always my favorite. He always had massive bags of candy in his backpack whenever I came to visit." Raven recalled. 

 

"More like everywhere he went, all the time. That guy is obsessed with candy. I told him I don't see how he's so thin when his diet is 90% sugar. Lucky Duck." Clarke said laughing.

 

"Well keep me updated in case someone does make an appearance. You know nothing interesting happens around here, so you will be my sole source of entertainment. Please take your job seriously." Raven said cracking up laughing.

 

"That's just sad Raven. You need to get Netflix or something to entertain you if that's the case, but as promised, each trip will come with full reports and photos." Clarke said rolling her eyes at her sister.

 

"Okay, now let's go through your closet and get you packed, and see what you are leaving me to keep." Raven said with a wink.

 

"Stay out of my clothes you thief!" Clarke yelled as she followed her into her room. Sisters, some things never change.

 

 

 

As Clarke stood outside of the airport for bag check, she had to take multiple deep breaths. She said goodbye to her Mom, Sister and House for what may be the last time for quite a while.

 

"Time to jump off into the deep end kid." she thought to herself.

 

 

 

Clarke checked in, went through security and took a seat outside her gate with a latte in hand. She was always one to get to her gate early, because she absolutely hated being rushed through the airport and the anxiety of possibly being late or missing her flight.

 

As she got comfortable in her seat and waited for them to call for her boarding group, she put her earbuds in and started playing her playlist named 'Chill' specifically for flights.

She doesn’t really get nervous anymore like she used to, but there is always this nervous energy she gets before trips and this playlist helps distract her and keeps her heart rate at a normal-ish level.

 

As soon as the first song start playing, it was cut off by an incoming phone call. The number wasn't saved in her phone, but she knew the number. Pathetic right? It's been 7 years since it had a name with it, but some things your dumb brain likes to remember without your permission. She hesitated answering it, but figured it wasn't a coincidence that he was calling right now.

 

He knew and she could deal with it now or later, so she answered, "Who told you?" Is all she said when she answered the call.

 

He hesitated, then said "Clarke, is that you?" she just sighed, because he knows it's her.

 

"Yes, Finn it's me. I'm assuming your calling because you heard I'm coming to town this week."

 

He was quiet for a beat, then "I saw your name on the guest speaker list for Alumni Week. I thought I was seeing things. I didn't think you would come to this sort of thing and I wanted to call to see if you were indeed coming. I would love to see you if you are coming."

 

Of course, he would be there for alumni week. "I'm actually at the airport right now waiting to board my flight, so I will be there this evening, but I won't be attending the welcome dinner. I'm only coming as a favor to my favorite teacher, and I won't be participating in any of the events outside of my demo and class period for my department."

 

She could hear the gears in his mind turning. "I'm not a fan of all the stuffy events either. I have 2 classes I'm doing the day after tomorrow and that's it. I'd love to see your demo though if that's okay?"

 

Well this will need to happen one way or another, either while she’s  trying to focus and present what she came there for or, "Do you want to meet for drinks this evening after I get in? I'd rather do this outside of campus and not have that weird tension while I'm trying to do what I came there to do."

 

He sounded genuinely surprised with what she said, "I would love to what time does your flight get in? Where are you staying?"

 

Clarke just thought about how she was going to handle what she just suggested, "I get in at 5pm and I'm staying downtown. I'll meet you at the Sleepy Lamb at 7pm?" if he noticed that she purposely skirted across his question, he didn't say.

 

"Sounds perfect! I will see you at 7. Have a safe flight and call me if you need anything when you land." she could hear the hope and insinuation in his voice, but that's what uber was for, so she wouldn't need a ride from the airport or to her hotel, especially from him.

 

"Thanks, see you tonight." She said short and hung up and put her phone on airplane mode early.

 

Well, Raven was right, this will be entertaining and she hasn’t even stepped foot on the plane.

Now to figure out if she has an outfit that says 'I'm fine, no I don't need comforting or pity and I look better than you do after all these years.', because it's still an ex after all. Clarke only prayed that her favorite chef would be working tonight and give her an escape if she needed it.

 

"Now boarding Business Class." the intercom cut through. Clarke grabbed her bag and headed for the door to take her seat.

 

Here we go, you can do this.


	5. Two Wrongs don’t make it right, when two hearts are on the line.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guys, this is a long one. This will have some back story on College Clarke and her First Love.

Clarke landed in the small familiar airport, and grabbed her bags at baggage claim as she waited for her uber to show up. It feels like she was just here not too long ago, she can hardly believe it’s really been 5 years.

She texted her Mom and Raven in their group chat letting them know she landed and was heading to her hotel.

  
The uber driver was nice enough to point out a few places that have changed downtown recently on the way to the hotel, and it was nice to see the quaint little town getting some upgrades and national notice for their food scene. It was always one of her favorite places and what really drew her to come to school here in Arcadia, VA.

  
She checked in to her hotel and took a quick shower and got ready. It was still a bit chilly here in March, so she opted for Black skinnies, a Maroon slouchy V-neck tunic and tan booties. She looked good, was comfortable for the weather and the walk to the restaurant and she looked put together.

 

  
Clarke walked into the Sleepy Lamb and it was pretty deserted for a Tuesday Evening. She sat at the bar and went ahead and ordered a Martini to help calm her nerves. The bar tender was kind and seemed to notice that she was nervous and made small talk.

  
He asked if she was meeting a blind date and she had to laugh “No, worse. An Ex that I haven’t seen in 7 years. It’s not a reuniting thing though, more like we have to be in the same place this week, so let's get the awkwardness out of the way now.” she explained.

  
“Well I'll make sure the next one is a double, you know for the nerves.” He said with a grin.

  
“Hey, weird question, but is Chef Roan working tonight?” Clarke asked.

  
He looked at her with a head tilt and said “Yeah, he’s probably in the office ordering inventory for the weekend. Is he the Ex you are meeting?”

  
Clarke couldn’t help the loud laugh that followed his question. “Oh, no no no, we went to school together and were lab partners for 2 years. He was like a brother since our major required tons of lab hours. He’s....Family.” She said with a cheesy smile she knew would make Roan laugh and shake his head in embarrassment.

  
“Well in that case, I will tell him he has a visitor. I’ll be right back.” He went through the kitchen doors and Clarke was left to finish downing her martini.

  
When the doors opened again, Clarke saw the world’s brightest, familiar smile attached to tanned skinned, perfect slicked back hair, tiny chin strap beard and the sweetest blue eyes of her friend. “You have got to be kidding me! Clarke? Is that you? Come here!” Roan said rushing towards her with his arms wide open.

  
He enveloped her in a huge hug that instantly transported her back to being on the lawn after their graduation ceremony where they last saw each other. “Roan, it has been too long! It’s nice to see a friendly familiar face, how are you? Tell me everything!”

  
He sat at the bar with her and starred at the empty martini glass, then glanced back at Clarke with a smirk and made his way behind the bar. “Well, looks like someone started early, we aren’t even open for service yet Loco Chic-a. After graduation, I was promoted to Chef de Cuisine, then last year the Executive Chef and Owner handed the place over to me. It’s been a ton of work, but I absolutely love every minute of it. It’s home now for sure, so anytime you are in town you better come see me. Are you in town for Alumni Week?” He said as he mixed another martini for her.

  
“Yeah, Chef Sinclair asked me to come do a demo for Advanced Pastry and to do a lecture for Intro to Desserts as well. I’m meeting someone for drinks that I haven’t seen in a while, and I didn’t want to deal with it while I'm on campus and I was praying you would be here in case I needed a quick escape, and because I know you’ll feed me.” she said with a wink.

  
“Oh, I see how it is, I’m only good to keep you tipsy and fed.” He said laughing. “But you’re right, plus I need a guinea pig to try some new dishes on, so I hope you still have an adventurous palette my friend. And don’t worry, I remember no mushrooms. I don’t need a lawsuit on my hands.” he said proudly.

  
“You are the best. And that will be nice to have some breaks in the conversation with you bringing out dishes. I’ll give you a look if I need you to rescue me and give me a kitchen tour.” as Clarke gave him a one eye brow raise, showing the look she would give him if she needed help.

  
“You got it boss. Well I’m going to start prepping for your highness, and get the courses coming out tapas style so you can still walk after it’s all said and done. I expect nothing but detailed critics out of you, so no pressure.” After a quick beat, he said “I’m so glad to see you again.” and he gave her a big hug and lifted her off the ground and headed back into the double doors he came out of.

  
Clarke settled back onto the bar stool and took a quick sip of her martini, and woah it was definitely a double, bless you Roan.

Just as she set her glass back down on the bar, she heard a familiar voice say, “Well, it’s good to see that you’re settling back here nicely. Didn’t even wait for me to start with the hard stuff?” he said with a smile, eyes pointing to the glass.

  
Finn. He still exudes every bit of confidence mixed with arrogance that she remembered. Blue eyes that can pierce to your heart, tall, dark hair and apparently a beard now.

  
“Well, I figured I’m much more pleasant after the first round. And when you know the Chef and Owner, you get to start early. Play nice and I might share my chef special tapas with you.” Clarke said very sarcastically back, because the only way to fight his charm was with sarcasm, which she learned half way through their turmoiled relationship.

  
She doesn’t know what it was with them, but they had a sick addiction to the constant ups and downs of their on again off again 3 year relationship.

They knew it was unhealthy, but they always gravitated back toward one another in the end. What that meant was, he loved leading on and she loved chasing. Once she got tired of it and quit chasing, he became a literal prince charming. Would bend over backwards to ‘Win her back.’. She would go back every time, even though she knew it would never last.

 

  
_7 years earlier_

  
A few months before Clarke transferred and moved to Arkadia to finish school, she came to visit and check out campus life and housing. Finn picked her up from the airport, took her to an amazing dinner, then they went for a romantic walk in the park downtown.

It had been over 2 years into their back and forth relationship if you can even call it that, when he knelt down and proposed to her. He told her that he was waiting until she was there to make it official, but they were always in limbo when it came to their relationship that it never felt safe.

She told Finn that she needed to digest everything and would give him an answer before she left at the end of the weekend. They knew how the other thought so well that he completely understood and didn’t get upset about it, and she knew he wouldn’t.

  
The weekend carried on as planned, but not even 24 hours after the proposal, they were heading back downtown to a favorite restaurant of theirs when it happened.

  
A group of college girls approached them and called out to Finn. He greeted them nervously, then introduced Clarke as his friend that was transferring to the area in the next few months. Clarke didn’t think much about the friend reference he used, until one of the girls said she hadn’t heard from him since their wild night last month.

  
She didn’t need context, she knew him well enough to know what that meant. He made a quick and awkward attempt to pull her in the direction of the park they were at the night before, when the girl shouted after them, “Call me some time, so we can continue what we started.” with a sly wink in their direction.

  
They walked in heavy silence, until they made it to the bottom of the river where the water was calm, and Clarke sat on a large rock near the banks. Finn wordlessly sat next to her and they just stared out at the trickling water.

  
After what felt like an eternity, she had to ask “When did you buy the ring?” He wasn’t expecting that question, after what had just happened.

  
He took a deep breathe, closed his eyes slowly and just said, “Two weeks ago, right after you confirmed your flight information.”

  
She waited another minute, then “So, you bought a ring, planned for me to spend the weekend with you for you to propose even though you had just slept with someone else just a couple of weeks before? Were you planning on ever telling me that, or were you just planning on proposing, getting married and hoping that it never came up?” Clarke said so calm and level that she surprised even herself.

  
“I didn’t think we were together when I slept with her. We had just gotten into a fight and I thought we were off again, since that usually happens right after we have a big fight. I went out with my roommate, had one too many and she was there. I didn’t think I was cheating or anything, because I didn’t honestly think we were together at that point.” Finn pleaded.

  
“And whose fault is that, that we never knew when we were on or off? You were always the one to call it off when you got upset, and then you would come crawling back when you what? Got bored? Had no one else to give you attention? How many other times did this happen? How many others did you go to after a fight and you would call it off?” Clarke was starting to feel anger, or panic at this point. She felt like a completely blind idiot.

  
“It only happened once, and after I felt awful. I got you back, and I bought that ring and planned this weekend so we could do this for real, for good.”

  
“You have to see how twisted that is right? Do you know why I couldn’t say yes when you asked? Because we are always in limbo, so much so that you think you should go out and sleep with other people apparently. Giving me a ring isn’t going to make things better, isn’t going to make the limbo stop. It’s not magic. It’s something we have to do and work on, and if neither of us can ever feel safe enough to know if we are in a relationship or friends or whatever, then you honestly expect me to accept this and think it’ll make everything better?”

  
Clarke pulled the ring box out of her purse, and reached for his hand, turning it over and gently placing it in it. “I love you, but I don’t think I can love you the way I should if I were to accept this.”

  
“So that’s it?” he said with no heat. “You go back home and then what? Are we off again? For how long?”

  
Clarke stood up from her seat, reached out her hand to him and said, “No we are going to finish our weekend together, then I’ll fly home. I’ll be back in a few months for the move and then I will be here for the next 2 years to finish school. But we aren’t off again, we are off for good. We can’t keep doing this to each other, and we need to learn how to move on without the other one to fall back on.”

 

  
                         Present Day

 

“Hello, earth to Clarke? Do I get a hug, or are you just going to stare at me like you just saw a ghost?” Finn said with a low chuckle, opening his arms and stepping forward.

  
Clarke hopped off of her stool and walked into his embrace. She closed her eyes for a brief second. The feeling of his hugs is something she always missed, the smell of his cologne brought her back to almost 10 years ago when she smelt it for the first time and thought there was nothing in the world that could smell better.

  
Then Finn bent over and whispered in her ear “I missed you kid. It’s been too long.” and the spell was immediately broken. That voice, those words, she heard them every time they would reunite and everything came flooding back at one time, and suddenly it was very hard to breathe.

She pulled away just in time for the bartender to return, and ask if Finn wanted a drink.

  
“Whiskey and Coke Please.” Finn answered, and took a seat next to hers. “So, you look amazing for someone who just got off of a plane.” he said with a playful nudge.

  
“Yeah, traveling actually seems to agree with me, since I've been doing a lot more of it lately. Lucky, I guess.” She said as she took a longer than normal sip of her martini.

  
Finn put his hand on top of hers, and waited until she turned to look him in the eye. When she did, she knew it was a mistake because she knew what was coming next.

  
“Hey, I’m really sorry. I heard through the grapevine. I tried to contact you, but you kind of disappeared off of the face of the earth. I knew if you wanted to be found that you would let whoever you wanted to know, know where you were.”

  
Clarke took a sharp intake of breath, why is it so hard to breathe around him? Why is it that him mentioning Wells passing feels like they cranked the heater up in this place?

‘Just breathe, Clarke. You cannot have a panic attack in front of him, in public. You can handle this.’ she repeated to herself over and over.

Thankfully, it was in that moment that Roan appeared with the first course, her guardian angel.

  
“Here, I figured you could use something to soak up the alcohol pretty early. Homemade Herb Focaccia, with caramelized red onions, goat cheese, fresh heirloom tomatoes and a balsamic reduction.” He looked over at Finn, then back to Clarke and she nodded at him.

Roan stuck out his hand to introduce himself to Finn, “I’m Chef Roan, the Owner and Head Chef of this place. She is my Sister and I will not hesitate to throw you out if you mess with her.” He said sternly. “Bon Appetit.” he said with a bright smile and disappeared back into the kitchen.

  
“Wow, you have some intimidating friends in high places it seems.” Finn said with a bit of shock.

  
“Yep, and friends in low places, and don’t you forget it. Now eat, he is going to be bringing food out all night.” She said casually and nudged the plate towards him.

 


	6. Be my center

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chef Clarke is ready to influence the future!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m a Pastry Chef, so most of this is based on my personal experiences. I thought about changing it to Clarke being an artist, but I wanted to keep in line with my novel as much as possible and keep with what I know.  
> Plus, I think Chef Clarke is a fun new artistic side of her.

The rest of the night went similar to that. They traded pleasantries, spoke about work, family, alumni week and ate every delicious thing that Roan brought out while the bartender, Skylar, kept their drinks refilled and would switch glasses of water in between seamlessly.

They both avoided the topic of Clarke's widower status and stayed away from the topic of Finn's divorce. She told him about traveling the last year, and as soon as she mentioned her trip through China, she immediately wanted to eat those words like she just did the pumpkin gnocchi with brown butter and sage they just finished devouring.

  
“Speaking of China, do you think we would’ve given us another shot if I didn’t take that job in China for 2 years?” Finn looked like this wasn’t the first time he has thought about this.

  
“Finn, don’t go there. Don’t go to the ‘What if’. I was here for a year and a half before you took that job. We tried, and it didn’t happen for us. We can’t go back and think if we would’ve made different choices that things would’ve happened for us. We both went on to do things that we always wanted, married other people and were happy. Who’s to say that would’ve still been the case if we would’ve tried to be together, you know?”

  
He thought about that for what seemed like an eternity, and then with a heavy sigh “Maybe you’re right, although look where we are now. Single, about to go step back on campus and influence the future and now to take a stroll through our favorite park, no arguing. I am walking you back to your hotel, and if I know you like I think I do, you picked one of the ones that overlooks the Falls.” He said standing up and offering his hand out to Clarke.

  
She hesitated, but knew he was right and she had nothing to worry about. “Hang on, let me go let Roan know that we are headed out. Meet you by the entrance.”

  
Skylar gave her a head tilt towards the kitchen, giving her the okay to go in. Clarke stepped into that kitchen and the sounds and smells instantly made her feel 22 again. She saw Roan hunched over one of the front counters making a prep list for tomorrow when she approached letting him know they were headed out.

“Come here. I will be there tomorrow to speak to the catering class and stay for your demo, need to make sure you haven’t lost your touch Pastry Girl.” Roan said as he enveloped Clarke in one of his signature hugs. With a kiss to each cheek, they parted promising to see the other tomorrow.

  
Clarke met Finn by the entrance and grabbed her gray coat out of coat check. They stepped outside of the Restaurant and began their stroll through the downtown streets towards the park where her hotel was. It had gotten a bit chillier while they were inside, but after the 3rd or was it 4th martini Clarke was feeling warm and not too tipsy that she couldn’t handle the walk without stumbling.

  
They fell into comfortable silence until they made it to the park entrance. Clarke stepped on the bridge and her face light up with memories.

  
“There’s that smile I've missed. Did you know I could tell when your smile wasn’t genuine from the photos you would upload to Instagram, and when they were. Your smile reaches all the way to your eyes like your face is going to split in half when it’s genuine like it is right now. I missed being the reason that your smile was that bright.” Finn said just staring at her standing on the bridge.

  
Clarke was just gaping at him, because he slowly walked toward her and pulled her into his chest and they just stood there. “Letting you go was my biggest regret. I thought going to China and not knowing you were just a few miles away everyday would help, but that weight was always in the back of my mind. Loving you was easy, and difficult and reckless and all consuming. When I got back and realized that you had left, moved back home and were getting married, I almost hopped on a plain and tried to stop you.”

  
She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Clarke pulled back enough to look up at him “I’m probably going to regret asking this, but what stopped you?”

  
Finn looked down at her with so much sadness in his eyes. “Not what, who. I went to what I thought was still your apartment as soon as I got back, and your old roommate Monroe answered the door. She told me everything. How you were so happy that you didn’t even seem to be upset about moving back home, which you always said you never wanted to do. She told me she had never seen you so genuinely happy and that I needed to finally let you go. Really let you go this time, because if I were to stand in the way that you would eventually hate me because we have this tether to one another that always pulls us back, that we can never seem to sever.”

  
He put his hand on her cheek and on instinct she leaned into it. “I loved you enough to let you go, because I was too selfish for you to possibly hate me. It was a very hard thing for me to come to terms with. I went into a downward spiral and quit taking care of myself, knowing you were out there happy with someone else. Something I could never get myself together enough to give you, it took a toll on me.” he continued.

  
“My roommate got married at I met his wife's sister at the wedding as we were the Best Man and Maid of Honor. We got to talking, and she had just returned from China as well from studying abroad. She was so sweet and kind, we had a lot in common and for a while she made the dull ache in my chest feel better. We got married less than a year after we met. Two years into our marriage we wanted children, but we had fertility issues and eventually it tore us apart about a year and a half ago. I think on some level she knew that there was a part of my heart that I could never give her, because you always had it. She knew about you, because we had that deep conversation about our past pretty early on in our relationship. She deserved more, and she deserved better. I was a broken man, and I shouldn’t have depended on someone else to fix that.”

  
Clarke could see the water in his eyes as he confessed all of this, and it didn’t seem to be coming it from the alcohol. She felt un-shed tears burning her eyes, so she took his hand from her face and threaded their fingers together.

  
“I am so sorry that you didn’t find whole happiness, and that I played a part in that. Truth is you’ve always had a part of my heart as well, and I could never feel whole. Wells knew that. He never used it against me, but when we would fight about certain things, he would remind me that he wasn’t you. That it isn’t fair to roll over my scars and insecurities from us onto him, because I was scared that I would end up in the same situation that we did.” she confessed, feeling the liquid courage.

  
It had been 6 years since she held this hand and looked into those eyes and she just wanted to give into weakness. She was tired of being strong all the time, doing what she needed to do for everyone else and just do something for herself. She leaned up on her tip toes and kissed him.

  
It was chaste and brief, when she pulled back, he leaned his forehead down to hers and just said, “I have been waiting years for that, but I don’t want to do this after we’ve both been drinking. I can’t have you getting my hopes up, then stomping on them when you sober up. Let’s get you back to the hotel.”

  
She looked up at him and nodded in agreement. They walked arm and arm through the park reminiscing and trading stores as they passed parts of the park. Something in her gut felt strange, and she couldn’t quite shake the feeling.

  
When they got to the front of the hotel, Clarke knew she needed to know something for sure before this night was over. “Finn, I know you said you didn’t want to do anything while we were both a little inebriated, but that walk and the cold air has sobered me up enough to know that I need to do this.”

  
She pulled on his hand and reach up to put a hand on his cheek and kissed him. Not chaste or quick, but slow and drawn out. Finn grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer to his chest. She threaded her fingers in his hair and he deepened the kiss. There they were, outside her hotel making out like a couple of college kids.

   
After another hot minute they both pulled back and looked at the other with wide eyes, since Clarke was the one to initiate, she was first to address what had just happened. “So, that was great. I see you haven’t lost your technique.” she said trying to lighten the mood. “But, did you feel anything?” she asked hoping not to send a blow to his ego.

  
“No. I can’t believe that. I have been wanting this for so long, and while it was an amazing kiss, I didn’t feel anything either. What the Hell?” Finn said a bit dumbfounded. Clarke couldn’t help but laugh, because it was something they both thought they wanted, and yet, nothing.

  
“Well, that should make our campus interactions way less awkward tomorrow.” Clarke said, all but busted out laughing.

  
“Yeah, thank God! Oh man, I just can’t believe that. Maybe it’s the universes way of telling us we aren’t meant to be.” Finn said with a smile in his eye.

  
Clarke reached her arms around his neck and gave him the biggest hug she could, because for once she wasn’t worried about it ending in feelings or heart break. He lifted her off the ground and swung her around. Then he put her down, kissed her on the forehead and said “Go upstairs and get some sleep. Take some Advil now and drink a whole bottle of water. I will pick you up at 11am for lunch before we head over to campus for your lecture.” after a beat, he whispered “Hey, I still love you kid.”

  
“Yeah, I love you too. We were always better when there weren’t romantic feelings involved. So, I'm glad to have you back friend.” With that she waved and headed inside and up to her room.

  
Clarke made sure to take 2 Advil, downed a whole bottle of water from the mini bar and then took her makeup off and changed into PJ’s. After setting her alarm, she fell asleep with a smile on on face for the first time in a while. She had her old friend back, and she was feeling a little less nervous heading into tomorrow, and she could not wait.

 

 

True to his word, Finn was at the front of the hotel at 11am. They went to this the little bistro that they use to frequent when she lived there that wasn’t too far from Campus.

They talked about their respective lectures and he was so excited to finally see Clarke in action in the Building at the edge of Campus that was virtually non-existent to those who didn’t know about it. Most people who attended the university were surprised to find out that the school actually had a top-rated Culinary Program with many of the students and professors going on to have very successful careers and businesses.

  
“So, since you’ve been globetrotting, when was the last time you made a cake that you’re going to be demoing?” Finn asked as they walked out of the bistro.

  
“Umm, actually a month before Wells’ Accident. I had a wedding that I committed to for a friend, even though my business wasn’t active anymore. It was more of a favor for her and it was muscle memory for me so it was more like I was on autopilot. I don’t really remember the cake to be honest. But I figured it’s like riding a bike. I got a lot of inspiration in Europe and then I visited some other Cake Designers while I was in Australia. Since this is for beginners, I should be able to fake it without them knowing how rusty I actually am.” he nodded along, then bite his bottom lip like he was trying to hold back a question, and that’s not like him at all.

  
“Spit it out, whatever it is.” she told him with a long sigh.

  
“Are you nervous? I mean this is the first time you’ve done this since he passed. I know that he was your biggest supporter and really pushed you to keep at it, even when it became too much and you wanted to quit. Are you going to be okay? Because it’s okay not to be and I’d rather you know that now then to breakdown in front of a class of children.”  
Clarke just laughed, because even after all these years, he sounds like people who have been around her through all of this. He always could tell when she was scared.

  
“Children? Okay old man, they are college students you know. I am nervous though, mainly because I don’t want the swinging punch of grief to hit me out of nowhere at something so simple like talking about Cake with a class full of students like people keep warning me it might. If I can get through the lecture, then I will be fine once I get in the kitchen. That’s my element and everything else just falls away. I’m more worried about talking too fast or over their heads, since I’ve been told I’m not the best at explaining things that is not common knowledge and I have always been told I talk to fast” she said nudging his shoulder, because he would tell her that almost daily.

  
“Ahh, I do remember something about that. I always thought you would fit right in in a place like Boston with your fast, cut to the chase attitude. I’ll be there in the back if you just need to stop and regain your center. Just give me a look and I got you.” He said looking at her from the side with a small wink.

  
They pulled onto campus, and Clarke instantly got butterflies. The place looked exactly the same as the day she left. So many memories flooded back all at once, good, bad, everything felt like a ton of bricks and she realized she was holding her breath.

  
“Hey, you okay? You’re turning red. I need you to breathe for me.” Finns voice sounded a million miles away.

  
He grabbed her hand and Clarke looked at him. He looked terrified, and he apparently pulled over sometime when everything went blurry. He cupped her face with both of his hands and kept telling her to breathe. After a few deep breaths, his voice started to come in clearer. Clarke finally regained herself, and noticed they were in front of one of the art buildings, not the Culinary Building.

  
“Do those happen often?” He asked a little hesitantly.

  
“It’s been awhile since I last had a panic attack. I think I was in New Zealand the last time I had one which was a little over a month ago. I was hit with this overwhelming feeling of emotions all at once and it triggered one.” She slowly felt her face to see if it was wet. Luckily it wasn’t, which means she didn’t look like a complete basket case by crying on top of everything.

  
“I’m okay now. Thanks, and I’m sorry. I didn’t expect that. Hopefully that’s out of the way now, and I can focus without worrying about having a mental breakdown in public.” She tried to joke, letting him know that she really was alright.

  
Finn looked at her with hesitancy, then pulled away from the curb and continued the route of campus to the Culinary Building


	7. Let’s go back, back to the beginning.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Class is in session, and Professor Clarke is reporting for duty.

Clarke and Finn stood in front of the building she came to know and love as soon as she stepped into it for the first time as a bright-eyed freshman. As they crossed the threshold, Clarke was hit with instant nostalgia. The site of stainless-steel equipment and benches, racked of pots and pans, all kinds of tools hanging from a ceiling rack and the sounds of hooded vent fans, and loud commercial dishwashers was such a welcoming sight. She spent more time in this building than any other building on campus combined, and that probably included her own dorm room as well.

  
As they made their way around the corner to the back side of the kitchen where the baking and pastry stations were, she smiled at what she saw. A big banner that read ‘Welcome Back Pastry Girl!’

  
“Man, I have never been inside this building. This kitchen is AMAZING! I’m kind of bummed that I didn’t choose culinary. This could’ve been my classroom and everything.” Finn said as his big eyes took in everything surrounding them.

  
Clarke knew that feeling, walking in there for the first time was both amazing and scary, but as 4-hour lab days turned into 12-hour lab days, it became much less intimidating, and much more like home.

  
“So, where is everyone? Are we that early?” He asked looking around the silent and calm kitchen.

  
“A little, the lecture is first and won’t start for another half hour, but I wanted to come in here and get reacquainted with everything and drop off my bag for the demo. I’m going to go down to the chef’s offices to see if they are here yet. The classroom is right through those double doors.” she pointed in the direction of the door they came in.

  
Clarke walked out the back door of the kitchen and down to the offices just a few steps down from the building. It was unlocked, so she took a step inside and saw Chef Sinclair’s office door cracked half way open and the light was on. She walked over and lightly knocked on the door and heard a “Come in.” she slowly opened the door that revealed her favorite instructor, adviser and friend.

  
“So, I was hoping I could move my speech and communications class to 10 am, because I can’t talk to a class full of people before that time. It’s just not humanly possible.” she said in serious tone, just as she did one of her first semesters as his advisee.

  
He spun around in his office chair to face her with a huge smile on his face. “Clarke, it is so good to see you!” He stood up and walked over to hug her. “It’s been too long, I’m so glad you decided to come this week. I can’t tell you how much we are all looking forward to what you have to teach us. It’s not every day one of our own turns down a major network deal.” He said proudly.

  
“They wanted 20% of my business for life. I couldn’t in good conscious agree to that. Plus, I wasn’t going to get much say in the content and setup, so their loss.” she said with a shrug.

  
“Well, I’m glad to see some of those business classes we crammed your schedule with seemed to have stuck. As cool as it would have been to see you on TV, I'm happy you went with your head on that decision.” he reminded her.

  
“Absolutely, plus speaking in that speech class of 30 always made me feel like I was going to throw up, so I don’t think being in front of a camera with tons of people watching would’ve worked out for very long anyway.” Clarke joked.

  
Chef Sinclair gathered his laptop and a file full of papers and stood to walk with Clarke back up to the kitchen and classroom. “So, how does it feel being back?”

  
“It was a little bit to take in, but being back in the kitchen instantly calmed my nerves. How’s the family? Is Jamie in University yet?” She asked as they walked back into the kitchen.

  
“Yes, making his old man feel like and an old man for sure now. I’m already on my way to full gray hair as it is.” He said with a chuckle.

  
“That’s so crazy. I remember when Jamie was entering High School. Time has flown for sure. So, how many Students are in the program this year?” she was curious how many people she would be speaking to, better to be prepared.

  
“Well we have 18 First Years and 22 Second Years. They are a great group and really eager to learn, so that’s always a positive.” he explained.

  
“That’s awesome! The first years should be approaching their tiered cake final about now, right? And the second years plated, multi-complex desserts if I remember correctly?” she tried to recall this point in the semester.

  
“Correct. So, what have you prepared for us today? You have the whole class period and lab session.” he gestured to the kitchen.

  
“Well, for the demo I have my favorite chocolate cake recipe and espresso Italian buttercream with a toasted almond crunch for recipes, and I wanted to show a few textures and techniques that are popular, and stacking and transporting tiered cakes. Sorry, no fondant. You know how much I hate that stuff.” Clarke said listing off what she had planned.

  
“Sounds absolutely delicious! I am so glad that you are touching on different textures and techniques so they can find what works best for them. How about your lecture?” He asked as he was typing notes into his computer.

  
“I was thinking about talking about my experiences, the industry I’ve seen, tips and tricks I learned along the way about opening your own business and creating your brand. Then maybe field some questions they might have.” she told him as they started walking to the classroom.

  
“Well they should all be here in about 10 or so minutes, if they aren’t already. I’m looking forward to hearing and learning what you have been up to.” he nudged her shoulder as he walked in the direction of the classroom.

  
Clarke walked back out the door they originally came in to the small entry way between the kitchen and looked through the glass double doors that would take her to the classroom. She must have been standing there longer than a minute, because she didn’t hear the outside door open behind her, and it wasn’t until someone was standing next to her that she realized she had zoned out.

  
“This was our home once, and it still is. It’s just a bunch of young kids with big dreams, like we use to be. You will be great!” Roan, Always coming in to save the day.

  
“Chef Sinclair said there are about 40 of them. Plus, him and Chef Kane. That seems like more than what we were ever used to.” Clarke reminded him.

  
“True, but our class and the class above and below us were too many to ever have a joint class together. They aren’t smart or experienced enough to pass judgement, so don’t worry. I’m the only one you have to actually impress.” He joked as he slung his arm around her shoulder.

  
“Ha. Ha. Good to know your sense of humor hasn’t been lost with old age.” she shot back.

  
“Hey! We are the same age. We both came into the program from different schools and did our business degree requirements first, and ended up in Culinary with mostly fresh out of high school kids. What did they use to call us? Mom and Dad? Real clever children we had in our group.” he laughed.

  
“We really did. Those kids in the class below us though were something else. Thank goodness we didn’t wait another year to enter the program, or we would’ve probably quit. Well I think I stalled long enough. Thanks for being here buddy.” Clarke said leaning her head on his shoulder.

  
“Anytime, Buddy. You are going to kill it, and I’m excited for some cake! You owe me for last night.” he said with a wink as he opened and held the door for her.


	8. Teach me your ways, and I’ll show you a better one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you are all wondering where our other beloved characters are. Trust me, they are coming and will be in the largest and best part of the story, but Clarke must deal with her past to be able to meet her future first.
> 
> Trust me, it’s worth the wait!

“Our guest speaker for today is one of our own. Alumni from the Class of 2014. She was our top Crew Chief, one of our top students that graduated on the dean's list for academic achievement and has made a career in the Pastry world, much to Chef Kane's dismay. Please welcome Chef Clarke Griffin.” Chef Sinclair introduced to the class that was still giggling at the remark made about Chef Kane no doubt.

  
Clarke rose from her seat between Roan and Finn and walked up to the podium. She opened her notes and clicked the power point file on the laptop connected to the screen behind her.

  
“Hi everyone. I’m Clarke and 5 years ago I was exactly where you were, or 6 years for the first years. I transferred here after completing 2 years of Journalism in Texas, and joined the culinary department what would be my Junior Year of School. It was a bit odd since most of you like most of my classmates came to culinary school right out of high school and will go on to finish your degree in business or communications later in your college career, but it was single-handedly the best decision I ever made. I don’t think if I would’ve come to the department sooner or later, I would have enjoyed my time as much as I did and have the same opportunities that I have had the privilege of having.” she pulled up a photo of her classmates after one of their long events, sitting around a bunch of tables pushed together with heaps of food in the middle. Family Style.

  
Clarke smiled to the back at Roan who was smiling back looking at the photo on the screen behind her. “You see, the people in this room are not just your classmates or your lab partners, they are your family. You will spend more time with them and in this building than you will anywhere else. We have a smaller select major and have that unique bond that other majors don’t have. These are people you can learn from and keep in your life forever. Only those who work in this industry can truly understand what it is like. The time and physical demands this takes, not only here at school but out in the world is something not many people understand, unless you’ve been in the life before. One of my classmates and lab partner is here today, and even though it’s been 5 years since we’ve seen one another, it’s like nothing has changed and I am so lucky to consider him a life-long friend.” she said smiling as everyone turned around looking at Roan making him blush and shake his head at her.

  
“Ok, now that the mushy, but still important message is out there, let’s talk food and business! How many of you are concentrating more in the Pastry Field?” about half of the 40 raised their hands. "Alright, lets dive in then, and convince the rest of you why you are missing out.” she said with a sly wink as she changed to the next slide. This was turning out to be better than she thought.

 

After Clarke went through her experiences in Restaurants, Upscale Plating, Bakeries, planning and prepping for masses of people at a time, opening and operating her own business, wedding cakes specifically, they had some time left for questions. Everyone was very attentive and seemed to really be taking in the information she was offering, some even took notes eagerly. Who would’ve thought? So, she opened the floor, excited to see what all they had questions about.

  
“We have a bit of time left if anyone has any questions.” she said looking over to the Chef’s with a smile, feeling much more confident now. A few hands went up, and the surprise and smile on her face made Finn and Roan slightly chuckle in the back.

  
Clarke called on a girl to her left, “You said that you left your job at a hotel where you were in charge of planning and creating menus for all the food outlets and events, but left to start your own cake business. Why would you leave a steady job with consistent pay and benefits and security to start from scratch with almost no knowledge on what you were doing?”

  
Geez kid, don’t pull any punches.

“That’s a very valid question. It was an hour one way to work every day, the hours fluctuated depending on the season and how many events we had, and since I wasn’t salaried, but hourly, there were days I would spend 2 hours driving to and from work to only work 4 hours. They did offer me salaried at one point, but I saw those that were salaried and they would work them to death during busy season where they would work close to 80 hours and only get paid for 40, and that was not appealing to me either. We also hosted a lot of weddings, but they never wanted to open up to doing wedding cakes on site, even though we had the man power, space and knowledge to do so. I wanted to be my own boss and control when and how much I worked, and I realized there was a real interest in personal cake designers in my specific area, and I could charge what I wanted to be able to afford to only have to do about 3-4 wedding cakes a month, to make what I was making at the resort and I didn’t have that long drive, and inconsistency in schedule and hours. Plus, their benefits sucked and I was on my husband’s company plan anyway.” she ended her long-winded explanation.

She at least had the decency to nod in respect with a twinkle in her eye, after seemingly asking why Clarke would be so irresponsible in what she did. Clarke felt that was a win.

  
Another hand went up and Clarke called on the next student. She seemed much shyer than the first one. “Chef Kane told us that you turned down a network deal last year. What made you make that decision?”

  
Clarke saw Finn freeze in the back of the room, and his eyes went wide in shock.

  
“Well, the short version was that they wanted 20% of my business for life and I would have no say in the content or direction of the show, so I had to decline as cool as it may have seemed.” Clarke said with a shrug and ease that she have quite a few times before when explaining the story.

  
“Can I ask if the longer version includes any other important details?” the student asked.

  
Clarke started to feel the room getting warmer and her fingers start to tingle.

  
“Umm, the contract came in for finalization...a few weeks before my...uh...my husband was in an accident and passed away. It was a pretty easy decision to make after that. I don’t regret my decision, even though it’s been over a year. I would’ve made the same decision had that event not happened.” she explained with a small smile, that she hoped wouldn’t look fake.

  
The room got eerily quiet after that. Clarke cleared her throat really quick then called for one more question, and when no one raised their hand, she thought about what she could say to lift the mood before heading into the demo, since she didn’t want to end the class period that was going so well on such a somber note.

  
Chef Kane raised his hand, and she looked at him in thanks and asked him what his questions was.

  
“Remember when I use to force you into everything that had nothing to do with pastry, because I hate pastry and that’s all you cared about, and I wanted to punish you for always being a mouthy instigator of the class and always challenging me?” he said with a bright smile.

  
Clarke nodded with a small chuckle.

  
“I’m so glad I was wrong, and that it pushed you towards it even more. The things you have accomplished in your field with our limited Pastry Courses is amazing to say the least and I cannot wait to see what you have in store for us with this demo.” he looked so proud, which was something you almost never saw from the stoic Chef himself.

  
Everyone laughed and it seemed to lift the mood, and with that she dismissed the class to change for the lab class, while she set up in the kitchen.

Clarke walked towards the back of the room and Roan gave her a huge hug and smiled down at her, before walking over to the Chef’s to chat and catch up.

Finn grabbed her hand and led her outside the building for some fresh air.  
“You did amazing. And the look on little miss know it all's face when you shut her down was priceless!” after a deep breath, he said a bit more quietly, “I had no idea you had a network deal in the works. Did you mean it? When you said the accident wouldn’t have changed your decision of turning it down if it never happened?” he looked at her sadly.

  
“I really did. It was a shitty deal, and I didn’t work hard all those years to give it away and be owned by some mega corporation.” Clarke said with a shrug.

  
He pulled her into his side and squeezed her tight while whispering. “God, I love you. Atta Girl.”

  
Clarke laughed and untangled from him and started backing up toward the building again when she called back tauntingly, “Oh no, we already established that you had your chance sir.” she winked and walked back inside towards the kitchen to set up her station.

  


	9. I only came for the cake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke shows her stuff. All about cake here, and a goodbye to past number 1.

Once inside, everyone was gathered around the pastry stations with notebooks and pens in hand. Clarke tied an apron around her waist and got to work on the cake batter. She had everything already mise en place'd on the counter, so it was mostly just going through the method with them and getting the cakes poured into the pans and into the oven.

The demo was going much smoother than the lecture. She truly felt like she had done this every day, and not taken a year or so hiatus. The cakes were baking, the frosting was whipping and she was fielding questions and cleaning up and prepping the station for icing and decorating. She was right at home.

  
“So, after the cakes cool, I like to level them right in the pan before popping them out and getting them in the cooler to chill. The frosting is ready whenever we are, and we can throw the nuts in the oven here in a bit. Now there is a lot of awesome products out there that promise to make your life easier when decorating cakes. Some will and some aren’t worth it. I think the less tools the better honestly. I use acrylic or flat metal scrapers, a large and small off set spatula and a cookie scoop to make sure I get an even amount of frosting in between each layer. I use my large serrated knife that I got in my knife kit here in culinary to level off my cakes while they are in the pan. Anything else out there is really extra, and won’t stop you from being able to do most cakes in buttercream.” she explained.

  
“I always get a pitcher of hot water and a clean towel if I'm not near a sink while frosting cakes to put my tools into. The hot water will help clean and heat the metal on the tools to get smooth finishes. You will also want a small clean bowl to put your excess frosting in that gets crumbs in it, so you aren’t putting crumbs back into your frosting bowl.” Clarke said as she showed each tool she was referring to.

  
She pulled the cakes out of the cooler and showed them how to best stack and fill each cake, then once the cake was stacked, she showed them the best way to frost the outside to minimize crumbs and how to get an even coat of frosting all the way around.

  
“So, once you have your cake frosted, you can keep it flat and clean like you see here, or there are fancy combs out there for different textures, but honestly all you need is your two different size off sets. You can do a plaster texture, swirl, diagonal lines it’s pretty endless. For stacking purposes let’s do flat so you can see better. I’m going to insert a middle dowel for support, then I will add a few more around that one in a circle to help support the weight. Stick them in the cake, measure where the top of them need to be, mark and then cut them down to size. I want to show a drip on the top tier here. You’ll want to do this after the cake is stacked. I do a thick ganache which is more of a 25/75 ratio of hot cream to chocolate, then I make sure it’s cool enough not to melt the buttercream, but not too cool that it becomes thick. I put it in a squeeze bottle and test on the inside of the sink so I can see how it drips and if it needs more time to cool, or needs a little bit of heat. Then when it’s right, I go to the edge of the cake, not quite touching it with the bottle tip at an angle and I alternate between gentle and harder squeezes so the drip lines are short and long as they alternate. Then before you deliver, you’ll want to put this in the cooler to set so it is easier to transport, but since we aren’t going anywhere, let’s leave it in for just for a few minutes while we clean up and I can answer any more questions you have about the demo before we cut in!” Clarke felt in her element more now, then in the classroom.

  
There were a few technical questions, mostly about boxing larger cakes, transporting in different weather and temps as well as brands of items she liked to use personally.

As she finished wiping up the station she was working on, Chef Sinclair grabbed some different plates, berries, and she had some leftover toasted almonds and chocolate sauce as well as some whipped cream she whipped up while cleaning up, just for plating purposes.

Clarke showed the class a few simple but effective plating techniques they could do with any sauce, fruit and crunch element to turn a cake slice into a photo worthy dessert. She explained that most people eating cake are not eating a plated dessert, but it was good to show them some good principles to be able to apply to other desserts. She then pulled out the cake and showed them how to best dissemble a cake and how to cut into 3 sizes: Coffee, Dessert and Large Dessert. Most people think cakes are cut like a pie, but that isn’t correct, especially when you get to larger sized tiers, plus you would run out of cake quickly if not cut correctly.

  
Once everyone had a slice, Clarke grabbed a plate for herself and everyone dug in. There seemed to be a consensus that it was delicious, which is always a relief since different people have different tastes. “I am so glad I came today. You definitely have not lost your touch buddy.” Roan said with a mouthful of cake.

  
She couldn’t help but laugh at him. “It took quite a few trial and errors to perfect this specific recipe, so I am glad you approve.”

  
Once everyone was done with their cake, they cleaned up and returned to the classroom for Roan’s Lecture on Catering and Event Planning from the food side. Sitting there, made her feel like a bright-eyed college kid again. She was sad when the day was over and they were packing up to leave.

  
She was in the kitchen making sure she grabbed everything and taking one last look around the place she considered her home at one point in life. She felt peace and it was a welcoming feeling, considering how the day started. Clarke said goodbye to the students and hugged the Chefs, promising she would try to make it back sooner than another 5 years and wished them good luck with the rest of their semester.

  
Finn and Clarke got back into his truck and started for the exit of campus. “I am so proud of you, if I haven’t told you at least ten times today. You were amazing, so fluid and calm, and perfect at explaining the process of everything, and that cake was damn good. I think we should celebrate!” he looked over grinning ear to ear at her.

Clarke let out a deep breath she didn’t realize she was holding “I am glad. I really was worried that I would be a ticking time bomb. Can we go to my hotel first so I can clean up a bit and change? I am ready to get out of this Chef’s coat.”

  
He nodded, and headed back towards her hotel. Once they pulled into the parking lot, Finn parked the car and headed up with her. Once they were inside her room, he sat down on the bed and grabbed the remote. “Please, make yourself at home.” Clarke said with an eye roll.

  
“I know how long this can take, so I might as well get comfortable.” He said with a cheeky smirk.

  
“Cute. Where do you want to go tonight, so I can decide what to wear?” she asked looking through the clothes she had hung up in the closet.

  
“I was thinking about 301 on Main. It’s been ages since I've been there, and its right next door to that coffee place you love that you need to hit before you leave. When are you leaving by the way?” he asked as he scanned the channels and settled on a basketball game.

  
“Sick of me already?” she laughed. “I have plans tomorrow, and then I head to Boston on Friday. 301 sounds great! I’ll be out soon.” Clarke said as she headed for the shower without looking back at him, but if she would’ve, she would have seen the look of confusion and maybe worry on his face to know that she was leaving so soon and off to the next city on her own, where she knew no one.

 

  
Finn and Clarke had an amazing dinner, then stopped at the coffee shop that went way hipster in the last few years, and took another stroll through the park before taking a seat on a swinging bench near the river with their drinks in hand. She sipped on her mocha and just enjoyed the view of the water gently flowing over the rock beds. As they sat and slowly swayed back and forth, she could feel the questions hanging in the air.

  
“I can hear you thinking. Whatever it is, just ask. You know I’m not one to shy away from the truth.” Clarke said with an exhale.

  
“What is your plan? I know you said Boston, but why? And for how long? Then what?” he said in a bit of a rush.

  
“Boston, because I have always wanted to go. I almost moved there once, before I met Wells. I’ll probably stay a few weeks to see everything and not rush through it. Then I’m going to see my best friends from school in Michigan and San Diego. After that I have a Contact in Seattle that I’m going to go see about. The timeline isn’t set, and I have no idea where I will go after that or where I will end up staying, but that’s kind of what this whole trip was about. Doing things I needed to, going places I wanted to go and seeing people I wanted to see, and then just trying to find my new home, my place in this world as cheesy as that may sound.” she explained as best as she could.

  
“Can we keep in touch? I want to know how you are, where you are going or where you end up, and you know that you’re alive. I want to be a part of your life again, even if it’s just as a long-distance friend if you’ll let me.” he said almost pleading.

  
“Of course. I can’t promise it will be exciting, but I promise to give you updates on anything significant that happens along the way. I’ve missed you. You were always good at caring without being over bearing when we were just friends.” Clarke leaned into his side and put her head on his shoulder and they continued to slowly swing until their drinks were empty.

They walked back to her hotel and as they stood outside just like they did the night before, she just walked into his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist. When she felt his arms wrap around her shoulders tight and then start to slowly rub circles on her back, and press his lips to the top of her head, she felt tears start to fall.

They didn’t feel like sad tears, but almost like relief. She found her friend again, conquered something she was terrified of, faced parts of her past and now she was moving on. She would miss Finn, he was a massive part of her life for so long, and through so many changes that he will always be there, just in a new place of her life.

  
Just like a large part of her life will have Wells no matter where she goes or what she ends up doing, and she was starting to realize that it wasn’t a bad thing she needed to forget and move on from, but it was a part of what makes her who she is. She could do this.

  
As they pulled apart, he brushed away a few tears with his thumb, kissed her forehead and made her promise that she would let him know as soon as she got to Boston safely. With a wave and a final goodbye, Clarke went up to her room.

Once she made it into bed, she went to set her alarm and saw a text from Finn:

“You better save my number. I’m expecting appropriate emojis and everything.”

  
Clarke laughed and saved his number with a Unicorn emoji and sent the screen shot to him. He responded immediately with:

“Dare I even ask, why that one specifically?”

  
“Because a friend like you is as rare as a Unicorn. Not many people could be friends with someone who has been through what we have together. Or, because you’re just so pretty. Your choice.” she ended with a wink face.

  
“I’ll take the fact that I’m pretty. Good night. Talk to you soon.”

  
She said a good night and rolled over to fall asleep, which was pretty easy after the last two days.


	10. Let’s make the most of the night like we’re gonna die young

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke meets up with her old college friend Jasper, but it’s his roommate that surprises her.

Clarke woke up the next morning to a cloudless and mild day. She went down to the gym in the hotel, grabbed coffee and breakfast on the way back up and had a very chill morning.

She had a few hours to spare, so she thought she would bike the river trail that ran through down town, see what all had changed or had been added and just take some alone quiet time.

Clarke use to hate being alone. She was always a social butterfly, hated sitting at home being idle, was always playing some sport or doing some sort of club activity, even in college where time was limited. Once she started her own cake business, she felt isolated, that’s something people don’t think about when starting their own business. All they think about is being their own boss and working when they want. She would have to admit that she was naïve enough to think that in the beginning as well, but what you don’t realize is how lonely it is when it’s you and only you that your company relies on.

  
On her trip around the world last year, she had to make peace with being a bit alone, although she was usually surrounded by tons of people. Between not knowing anyone, and a bit of a language barrier in most places she went, it was just the way it was when traveling alone.

She met some lovely people and spent time with some of them as well, but at the end of the day it was just her. It was a huge thing for her to get comfortable with. You really have to be on a good level with yourself as strange as that sounds.

When you get into a relationship of any kind, your focus tends to be on the other person or you with them and it can cause some self-neglect. Whether it be physically, mentally, your wants, needs, desires, you have to rediscover who you are, and you have to put yourself first and love yourself as vain as that may sound.

You cannot give love and your best self, if you are not loving and taking care of yourself. It’s still such a hard lesson for her to learn, and she has to remember this almost daily.

  
These thoughts consumed her mind as she absently rode down the trail enjoying the weather and the views, before she made it back to her hotel to clean up and get ready to meet up with her good friend Jasper.

  
Clarke walked into the upscale restaurant and bar a few blocks from her hotel that must be new. The entire room was floor to ceiling windows letting in the warm glow of the sunset.

She approached the bar and instantly saw her long-lost friend. He was tall and thin, almost gangly. He had a trendy new haircut, his clothes screamed hipster, and his eyebrows were more perfect than hers.

  
Jasper was a theater major and became a well known special effects make-up artist for small east coast movies that filmed in the surrounding area. He was amazing.

Clarke could remember an April Fool’s joke he helped her pull off their Junior year where he made her hand look like she took a huge knife through it and it was gushing blood, like an accident she had during lab in culinary and everyone freaked out. It was so realistic she almost passed out from the site of it.

Finn was not impressed when he showed up to her dorm banging on the door to take her to the hospital after he saw the snapchat of the ‘injury ‘, only to see Clarke laying in her bed reading a textbook completely unfazed.

  
Clarke approached her ‘Jassy’ and wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind. “You just had to pick the flashiest place in town for drinks, didn’t you?” She said with a giggle.

  
He turned around with the brightest smile and screamed “You’re back Bitch! God, I missed you. You are not allowed to leave me for that long ever again, and don’t even get me started on how pissed off I am at you for going galivanting to Europe without me. I mean, you could have taken me back to my mothership and I would have lived life happily in Mykonos with Lindsey Lohan sipping cocktails and getting a tan.”

  
They sat and She ordered an Apple Martini along with his Cosmo. Gosh, they were such a Sex and the City scene. Dressed up, sipping fruity cocktails in a fancy bar gossiping and catching up on each other’s lives.

  
“So, Sterling and I broke up and he moved out, so I had to get a new roommate for the house, because no way I was living in that big house alone. And I got a puppy, so I think I’m winning this breakup without a doubt.” he went on.

  
“Sounds like you’ve had a busy few months. So how is the new roommate situation?” Clarke inquired, knowing Jaspers long list of roommate requirements.

  
He hesitated, which did not leave a good feeling in the pit of her stomach. “Um, well...It’s someone I use to live down the hall from at school. He and his wife recently separated, and she went back home to her family in New York and he needed a place to rent until they figure everything out.” he said avoiding her glare.

  
“Who is it Jasper?” she asked, not even giving him the out of passing over this detail, because if it wasn’t who she thought it was, he would have just told her the name.

  
“It’s Riley. Look, I know we didn’t exactly like the guy in college and he had a massive ego, thought he was hot shit and all but after he got married, he changed. We have some mutual friends and I got to know him better, plus he passed my roommate checklist and needed a place, I had the room, so that’s where we are now.” he explained in detail.

  
“He spread a rumor across the entire Men’s Soccer Team and his Frat that I slept with him and was an easy lay if they needed one. He tried to out you, before you were out and was an all-around Asshole. Whatever wife changed him, also left him so I don’t think he must have changed that much. Just please make sure he doesn’t screw you over. I would hate to have to come back just for the reason of kicking his ass. Actually, scratch that, I would ABSOLUTELY come here just to kick his ass.” Clarke  said as she downed the rest of her martini and signaled to the bartender for another.

  
“Well, he’s out of town for a conference so you can come over, we can hang out with my puppy, eat junk food, do karaoke and gossip some more. For now, I want to hear about what’s new with you, aside from globetrotting without me.” Jasper sure does know the way to her heart.

  
“Well, you know about what happened to Wells. After the Funeral I left for about a year. I came home, spent two weeks with my mom and Raven and packed up my house. I think Raven is going to buy it, since she’s been living in it while I've been gone anyway. I’m going to your hometown of Boston tomorrow, so I need a list of must see, eats and do’s. Then I’m going to see Anya and her new baby and then Bryan in San Diego. After that, I really don’t know. Become a troubadour and roam the planet until I find my home.” She said with a shrug.

  
He leaned his head on her shoulder. “I really wish I would have known about Wells. I would’ve been there in a heartbeat. That was the week we were in the mountains shooting with 0 cell service. Like freaking cavemen or something. I will compile my best list of Boston activities, and I have a baby gift for Anya I need you to deliver, since the post office is where lives go to die. Also, tell Bryan he should think about moving back home. That man is someone I would love to see on a regular basis.” he said with a sly wink her way.

  
“Ha you would. Ready to take this party to your house?” She said finishing off her 2nd martini.

  
“Let’s go babe! I can’t wait for you to meet Moose, he is the cutest ball of fluff you have ever seen.” They left the bar and headed towards Jaspers car.

 

  
Clarke had never been to Jaspers house, since she hasn’t seen him since they left the university campus right after graduation. It was a beautiful two-story craftsman style in a pretty newly developed neighborhood. It was clean, crisp and very Jasper. Once they opened the door, a big black whirlwind came storming down the stairs and into their legs. Jasper reached for the living room light and starting petting the big fluffy pup.

  
“I thought you said puppy. He is huge!” Clarke said bending down to pet the dog.

  
“He’s only 6 months old, so yes he is a baby. Just a very large baby.” He said as he headed towards the kitchen to grab Moose some food.

  
“What breed is he? I can only imagine he is going to get bigger.” she said following him to the kitchen.

  
“He’s a pure-bred Labradoodle, and yes he will at least double in size. He still thinks he’s a lap dog though.” then Jasper started pulling out highball glassed and pineapple juice. Clarke knew exactly where this was headed, and she was so happy she asked for a late checkout of her hotel tomorrow.

  
“Alright Clarke, let’s see if you can still hang like you use to.” and then he grabbed Malibu Coconut Rum and we laughed loudly.

  
“Malibu and Pineapple explains our entire college career. Let’s see what you got Jassy.” she walked over to the island where he was pouring our traditional cocktail.  
They cheered, sipped and then headed over to his large sectional to get comfortable.

  
After swapping gossip on mutual people they knew by social media stalking, went through half a bag of sour patch kids, played never have I ever and drank too many rum and pineapples that they lost count, they were standing on the couch singing the Jonas Brothers at the top of their lungs.

Just as the good part of Burning Up came up, there was a sudden knock on the door that scared both of them so much, that they stumble off the couch and onto the floor, it was definitely not because they had had too much to drink, really.

  
Moose was rushing towards the door as they tried and failed to stop laughing long enough to get to their feet. “I think that’s the pizza we ordered when we were on our T-Swift setlist. I’ll get it.”

  
Clarke was still laughing as she laid on the floor, looking up at the ceiling, waiting for Jasper to bring drunk food to help absorb some of the alcohol. They weren’t 21 anymore, and in no way had the same tolerance that they used to, and they would die of a hangover if they didn’t start remedying that soon.

Clarke closed her eyes to stop the spinning for a second, but when she opened them again, someone she thinks she knows was standing over her and looking perplexed.

From this angle, and the alcohol coursing through her veins, her mind couldn’t quite piece together what was happening. She must have had an utter look of confusion on her face, because the stranger broke out into a mischievous grin and she felt her stomach drop.

  
“Princess, it has been too long. Here let me help you up.” He reached out a hand.

  
Clarke swatted it away and sat up too quickly. She instantly felt dizzy and had to take a second to gather her bearings to be able to slide up onto the couch. “Riley. It hasn’t been long enough. I thought you were away for work.” she said dripping with venom.

  
“Aww it’s nice to know that you still care enough to know where I am. I got back early, or late considering what time it is. I didn’t know you were in town, or I would have come back sooner. Looks like ya’ll started the party without me.” He said sitting on the other side of the couch.

  
“I was in town for alumni week and was assured that you wouldn’t be within spitting distance, so here I am.” just then Jasper walked in with two pizza boxes, oblivious to the tense conversation that was going on and sat in the middle and put the pizza boxes on the table in front of them.

  
“Play nice Riley, or I’ll help her bury your body.” guess he wasn’t so oblivious.

  
Riley stood up with his hands out like he surrendered “Alright, I’m going to go up to my room and shower, I’ll leave you two to it.” and with that, he was gone. Good.

  
“So, that could have gone worse, don’t you think?” Jasper said with a mouthful of pizza.

  
“I guess. He doesn’t have a black eye, so that’s a plus. I wish he would have gotten ugly though.” Clarke said with a giggle.

  
“Wouldn’t life be easier if we could wish that on those we despise? If he comes back down here shirtless don’t be surprised, and also don’t stare and gawk. I can attest it is still as beautiful as you remember.” he warned.

  
“Ugh, of course he would. I mean maybe I wouldn’t hate him so much if we actually slept together, but he was such a wuss and never made a move, but had the audacity to brag that he did to everyone, deeming me a slut. I remember when I first found out, because one of the Senior starters tried to feel me up when I was jogging on the outdoor track while they were practicing. Dax never came near me again after I smashed his shin in in front of the entire team. Ass.” she said grumbling about that memory.

  
“Did Riley ever admit or apologize for spreading that rumor? I can’t even remember.” Jasper asked.

  
“He said it was all locker room talk, and without it no one would even know who I was since I was secluded in Culinary most of the time, so he did me a favor. After that, I just avoided him so I wouldn’t get kicked out for assault and battery charges.” she gave an evil smile.

  
“I’m telling you, I think he really has changed. I mean from a 20-year-old, immature boy to now is a big difference, to me at least. He apologized the first time we saw each other after graduation. I think if you gave him a chance, he might surprise you.” Jasper sounded so genuine.

  
“Well, I’m out of here tomorrow and I may never have to see him again. An apology 6 years later really doesn’t affect my life one way or another. Changing subjects, where is your bathroom?” Clarke asked standing up.

  
“Upstairs, second door on the right.” Jasper answered.

  
Clarke headed up the stairs, and when she was finished and washing her hands, she looked in the mirror and smiled a genuine smile. She felt carefree and relaxed and she missed this feeling.

  
When she opened the door, Riley was coming out of the door across from her with a shirt on ‘Thank God.’ and he gave her a small smile. “It was nice to see you, even just for a minute. I know it may not mean much now, but I am so sorry for what happened between us all those years ago. You didn’t deserve that and I was an immature idiot trying to fit in with the guys. I heard you went on and got married, opened your own business and are doing really well for yourself. I’m happy for you.”

  
Clarke was stunned into silence, trying to process what he said and trying to decide what or if she should even respond. He gave a slight nod at her silence and started to walk back into his room when she just said “We have a ton of pizza downstairs. You should join us, if you aren’t too tired from your trip.” She didn’t wait for a response as she walked back down the stairs.

  
Clarke rejoined Jasper on the couch and they continued their chat of former classmates, and crazy antics they got themselves into back in the day, when Riley silently came down and joined them for pizza. Riley told Clarke some stories about living with Jasper, and a little bit about his work.

Once all the pizza was gone, Jasper was laying his head in Clarkes lap and she was stroking his hair. As soon as she realized both her and Jas were dosing off, she made a move to grab her phone from the table.

  
“Where are you going?” Jasper moaned from the couch.

  
“I’m calling an Uber to take me back to my hotel, before I pass out on your couch silly.” She explained with a smile.

  
“I know Arkadia has expanded since you were last here, but it’s still almost 2am on a Thursday night. You aren’t going to find an Uber. We have a perfectly good guest room you are welcome to my dear.” Jasper explained.

  
“As tempting as that is, all of my stuff is at my hotel and I’m checking out tomorrow and I don’t want to have to rush back in the morning hungover. Surely there’s a cab company that has a driver out late.” she started to Google.

  
“I’m completely sober and wouldn’t mind driving you back. If you’re comfortable with that of course.” Riley spoke up.

  
Clarke hesitated. It wasn’t that she thought he was going to murder her or leave her in the middle of nowhere, but she also felt a bit guilty accepting his offer to drive her back in the middle of the night after he just got off of a flight. Common sense told her this was the best offer, so she nodded and walked over to Jasper.

  
“Let’s get you some ibuprofen, water and into your bed mister.” Clarke said as she lifted his arm over her should and Riley grabbed the other side and they led Jasper up to his room.

  
They said their goodbyes, and jasper handed Clarke a gift box for Anya and said he emailed her Boston To-Do List ‘Because that’s how adults communicate now Clarkey!’.

As she leaned in for one last hug, he said “If he steps out of line, you call me and I’ll have my hitman on him in an instant. Text me as soon as you get back safely.”

With that Clarke walked back downstairs to see Riley waiting by the door with his keys as he asked “Ready?”.

 

  
The drive was quiet, with the radio playing so low that she couldn’t even tell what song was playing. “I accept your apology. I don’t think I said that before, so I am now.” she said while looking out the window.

  
“Thank you. I know you didn’t have to, so I appreciate that you did.” he said glancing over to her side.

  
“When did we become so cordial? It’s weird. Make it not weird.” she said with a small chuckle.

  
“Well how do you suggest I do that?” he laughed back at her.

  
“I have no idea. Tell me something about you, that’s not so formal like work or your living situation.” Clarke suggested.

  
“Dana left me because she thought we had more of a friendship/roommate relationship than a marriage, and I couldn’t exactly argue with her. You remember her, right?” he asked.

  
“How could I forget, she cornered me once you two started dating again after your like 3rd breakup and told me to stay away from you. If only she knew how much effort I put into not being seen in the same vicinity as you.” she told him.

  
“Yeah, she has major insecurities with our relationship and rightfully so. I mean look where it ended up in the end. I wasn’t out of town for work, I was in New York going over Divorce papers with her and lawyers.” he said in a low voice.

  
“I’m really sorry. Truly. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.” she expressed.

  
“Sadly, divorce happens. Is that what happened with you and your husband? Sorry to pry. I just noticed you weren’t wearing your wedding ring and you didn’t mention him all night, or when you talked about your trip around the globe.” It was a fair question, but she figured he would have found out through mutual people or even through Jasper.

  
“Umm, actually he passed away over a year ago. Car Accident. My wedding ring is actually here around my neck from yesterday when I took it off to do a demo at the university. I just haven’t put it back on. I’m not sure if I’m even supposed to or should. Is it weird to still wear a wedding ring, when you’re technically not married anymore?” She asked genuinely. She hadn’t thought about it until just now.

  
“Oh my God, I had no idea. I am so sorry for your loss and bringing it up so casually. I swear I didn’t know.” he said with panic in his voice.

  
“Riley, it’s okay. It’s been over a year, so it doesn’t sting as bad as it used to. Plus, I'm not so arrogant that I think everyone knows about my life.” Clarke said assuring him.

  
“Still, I am so sorry you had to go through that. Now that is something, I wouldn’t ever wish on anyone. As far as your wedding ring, I think that’s something you have to decide for yourself. I don’t think there’s a hard-fast rule on how to decide when or if you should stop wearing your wedding ring on your finger or necklace or at all for that matter.” he answered.

  
She thought about it as they entered downtown, and she hadn’t really considered it before. It was just always a constant for her to wear it, so that seemed like another thing she would have to consider as she started this new chapter of her life.

  
They pulled up to her hotel, and she looked over at Riley, who was already staring at her. “Are you going to be okay getting to your room, or would you like me to walk you up? I just don’t want to overstep any boundaries.”

  
Clarke smiled at him and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek “I’ll be okay. Thank you for driving me back in the middle of the night. Jasper said you’ve changed, and I can see that, so just make sure you treat him right as a roommate and friend. I would hate to have to come back here to kick your ass.”

  
He reached over and put a hand on her cheek “I promise I will. You take care of yourself. You are always welcomed here regardless of the reason, and I know Jasper would agree. Goodnight and have a safe flight Clarke.”

With that, she opened the car door and stepped into the hotel lobby. She got to her room, got ready for bed and stuffed everything in her bag, except what she would need the next morning and set her alarm.

Boston here we come!


	11. I think I’ll go to Boston, think I’ll start a new life.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke makes it to Boston!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is all about Clarke truly being on her own, because the next chapter, the man himself arrives!

After a late checkout, Clarke headed for the airport and boarded for Boston.

It was about 5pm on Friday when she landed in the Beautiful City of Boston. She made it to the Airbnb in the heart of the city in a high-rise apartment that overlooked the harbor, and many other sites.

  
She hit all the touristy spots from the Museums, JFK Library, Paul Revere House, The Boston Harbor, Fenway and even got to take a Tour of Gillette Stadium, since it was off season for Football.

She spent a few afternoons when the weather was nice out sitting on the lawn of Harvard University reading, and hoping some of the intelligence would be airborne.

  
Jasper had an excellent list of trails and parks as well as restaurants and bars to check out. Every day was a new adventure, and she could definitely see herself in a place like this, and she can only imagine how much more beautiful it would be in the fall.

It was still a big city, with so much history and a small town feel that she thought it would be very hard to beat.

  
Luckily, she seemed to fit right in, and no one seemed to notice that she wasn’t from around there, since she heard that the people there can be a bit brash. But honestly, she loved the people. It was refreshing from the fake southern charm she ran into so many times where she used to live.

 

  
After 2 weeks of touring the city and just enjoying living in the moment, she was approaching the end of March and made plans to catch up with Anya in Michigan. She called her and told her that she would be flying out on the following Friday afternoon, and they made plans for that weekend.

  
Clarke was sitting at the infamous Fenway Park enjoying a Pre-Season Red Sox game, when she decided to update everyone. She told Jasper how much she loved his suggestions and how she could see herself living here, she told Finn she was still alive and enjoying the Sox kicking some Yankee ass, and of course she sent her Mom and Raven a long update and tons of photos in their group chat.

Clarke let them all know that she was headed to Michigan in a few days, and she would catch up soon.

  
Clarke spent the last few days in Boston relaxing back at her Airbnb and researching places to live in Boston as a potential. The weather was starting to darken and get really chilly, and she means cold.

  
She made her way downstairs to this cool dive bar and restaurant right outside the building, and spoke with one of the servers who had gotten use to her presence in the couple of weeks she had been there.

  
“Geez, does the weather realize it’s spring, and almost April” she said as she slid onto an empty stool and shrugged off her jacket.

  
“We sometimes get a freak snow storm in the limbo of Winter and Spring. It’s almost expected at this point. We are expected to see some snow this weekend, so I hope you prepared for that.” he informed her.

  
“I didn’t think I would need those types of clothes on this trip honestly. I’m leaving Friday anyway, so I may be able to miss it.”

  
She ordered a local wine and their famous chowder. Could that scream ‘New England’ any more than that? Once she finished, Clarke headed back up the stairs and into the warmth of her room.

  
The next day was Thursday and she woke up to a blanket of white. Well, maybe not to these people, but for a girl from Texas, this was maybe the most snow she has seen.

  
She ordered food in, washed her clothes, re-packed and made lots of coffee while she curled up on the couch and enjoyed catching up on some TV. Clarke arranged an Uber to pick her up and take her to Logan Airport tomorrow afternoon.

She was so glad that she decided to forgo the crack of dawn early flights. She went to bed that night feeling refreshed, happy, a bit cold but excited for the next destination.

  
When Clarke woke up on Friday, she was a little nervous when she saw it had been snowing all night and still was. She looked at her flight and it still said on time, so she got ready for the day and headed down to the car she called the day before and we headed to the airport.

Bostonians seemed used to this weather, so the drive was a breeze to them, but something in her stomach didn’t feel right. She’s no expert with snow, but this just didn’t seem normal. She check in and went through security and grabbed a coffee before settling at her gate.

  
Once they were about 30 minutes away from boarding, the intercom came over the loud speaker saying “If you are on flight 1523 to Detroit, I’m afraid the weather has cancelled all outgoing flights for the rest of the day as we are expecting a stronger wave to come through this evening, that is currently moving through the Midwest. Please visit guest services with your ticket for more information on accommodations and rescheduled flights.”

There was a loud collective groan as people got up and made their way out of the gate area.

  
Once Clarke approached Guest Services, she noticed it wasn’t just their flight that had been cancelled, and the line kept growing and growing. This was going to take all day and it was already 3pm.

  
After almost 2 hours she approached the desk clerk who looked exhausted. She smile at her letting her know that she wouldn’t be someone ripping her head off for something she had no control over. Clarke had heard a few people absolutely lose it on these poor employees during this whole process and it was just so unnecessary.

  
The attendant asked for my flight information, “You know, I’m not in a huge hurry to get anywhere, so I can take a later flight if need be, since so many others probably have families and responsibilities that they are trying to get back to. I can just take the next flight that you have room on, but I don’t have to be on the ‘must be on the first flight out’ list.” Clarke told her as she gave her a thankful smile and began typing.

  
“That is very kind of you. We are going to see if we can start flights this time tomorrow, give the weather enough time to blow through and settle. We are running low on hotel rooms around the airport, and we want you to be close enough to be able to grab the free shuttle for your available flight. If you are okay with waiting, we will probably get you on a Sunday afternoon flight and you will receive an email 24 hours prior to your confirmed flight time. We have a Hilton or a Marriott option open, do you have a preference?” she asked as she continued taking Clarkes information.

  
“Hilton will be good, I have rewards with them so I might as well take advantage of that.” She explained pulling out her phone to shoot out a quick text to her Mom and Raven about the delay.

  
“I will get you booked for that. There is some convention being held there this weekend, but they did have a few rooms available. The airline allots $100 per day per diem that you can use for room service, other meals etc. There should be a shuttle waiting outside whenever you are ready. Thank you again for your patience and willingness to wait on a flight for others.” she handed Clarkes information back, and then she was on her way back out of the airport to locate the shuttle.


	12. He listens like Spring, and talks like June

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke meets a new stranger, and thanks Mother Nature for keeping her in Boston for one more weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so excited to finally introduce the man of the hour finally into this story!
> 
> Buckle up, because even though this isn’t a slow burn, it is not a smooth road by any means.

Once Clarke arrived at the hotel, she went to check in, and took a look around. There was restaurant and bar off to the side of the lobby.

She asked the front desk clerk about the convention that was going on. “It’s a bunch of writers, mainly memoirist, but some write for tv shows or movies so they have these conventions to network, have workshops and such. Here is your key card. You are on the 5th floor, and the elevators are around the corner to your left. Please let us know if you need anything during your stay.”

  
She made her way up to her room, dropped her bags, then headed down to the restaurant and bar. It was after 6pm by now and it had been a long day, even though she didn’t do much.

She called Anya on the way down letting her know about the delay, and that she probably wouldn’t get a flight out until Sunday, so they rescheduled our weekend plans.

  
The place was a little deserted, so she took a seat at the bar. The bartender looked up at her and smiled. “Ahh some company, what can I get for you?”

  
“Hi there, a glass of Red to start with thanks.” Clarke gave her the room number, and told her to charge it to the room.

  
“It’s been a day, or a week?” She inquired.

  
“It’s been a great week, I've been visiting Boston, but I spent almost 3 hours in the airport after all flights were grounded trying to figure out where I would be staying and when I could get a flight out, this one is on them, so cheers...Fox.” Clarke said raising her glass as she read her name tag.

  
Fox laughed loudly “Man, that’s rough. These freak snowstorms we get just when we think we’ve seen the last of it has become expected at this point to us locals. Where are you from?” she asked as they continued their bartender/patron type conversation.

  
“Texas, but I haven’t lived there for over a year now. I’ve been doing a lot of traveling and hoping from one place to another, searching for a new home. I really like Boston, and it’s at the top of the list right now, so the other places have a lot to live up to. I’m Clarke by the way.” she said sticking her hand out for Fox to shake.

  
“Nice to meet you Clarke. It’s nice to have someone normal around here. With all these book nerds around, I was starting to worry that I would be standing around bored, or have to listen to them and be just as equally bored.” she joked.

  
Just then someone cleared their throat and pulled out a stool a few down from Clarke’s. She instantly noticed the black, curly, messy hair, tan skin, and freckles. This man was beautiful, and it had been a while since she last thought of someone like that aside from Wells, but something like butterflies started to make itself known in her stomach. She almost forgot what this feeling was like.

  
“C’mon Fox, we aren’t all that boring.” he said in a deep voice.

  
“Ah Bellamy, you know you are my most favorite nerd of them all, but a nerd none the less.” she smirked at the mysterious stranger that had joined us.

  
“Right. Could I have a glass of red please, I couldn’t handle the rager that is the welcome party anymore.” then he to turn to Clarke, “I’ve never seen you at these conventions, are you new?”

  
Before Clarke could answer, Fox spoke up as she placed his glass of wine in front of him “Not everyone here is here for the nerd convention you know.”

  
“I know, but usually when we have been here the last 3 years, there aren’t many people that stay here that aren’t. So, what’s your story?” he asked her again.

  
Clarke took a long sip, “My flight was cancelled due to weather, and it looks like I'll be here until Sunday. Sorry for intruding on your party.” she said with a small shrug.

  
“Oh, trust me this is far from a party. More like book worms that finally get out and socialize with other book worms and bounce ideas off of each other. New faces are always a breath of fresh air.” he said smiling at her.

  
“Well, that’s nice to hear. What type of writer are you, if you don’t mind my asking?” Clarke inquired.

  
“Memoirist mainly. I travel all over and help tell people’s stories that might otherwise go unsaid. I have been looking into writing a few adaptations of those books onto the screen, but I’m still learning in that area. There are so many true and interesting stories out there that people should hear, over the typical plot lines that fill TV and movies these days. It feels like everything these days is a reboot of something else or a rip off of something else. There is no originality anymore.” he vented.

  
“I can agree with that. I love the classics, but it’s always nice when I stumble upon something different, relatable, realistic. I didn’t really miss TV much this past year, and I usually only browse Netflix when I can’t do anything else.” she explained.

  
“Exactly! As much fun as it is to guess every story line of every movie out there, and the original movies that become a huge hit with teens who are a big part of streamers, it would be nice to watch things that are more focused and directed at the 20’s and 30’s audience that doesn’t relate to the high school romance and comedies that fill movies these days.” he stated passionately.

  
“I can’t tell you how often I've said that. It seems like you might be in the right field, you could help change the genre for our age group.” Clarke said as she finished off her first glass.

  
“Could I come over and talk to you a bit more? I’m sorry if that’s forward, but it’s really refreshing to talk to someone who understands what I’m trying to convey. I’m Bellamy by the way.” He said standing and stretching out his hand.

  
“I’m Clarke. Nice to meet you, please join me.” She said gesturing to the bar stool next to her.

  
“Would you like another glass?” Fox popped in and asked.

  
“Yes please. Put both of ours on my room.”

  
“Oh no you don’t have to do that, I'm the one intruding on your evening.” Bellamy insisted.

  
“It’s fine, my evening was going to be spent eating and drinking here alone, plus this is on the airline.” Clarke said with a small wink.

  
“Very nice. I guess you aren’t too mad about being delayed then?” He asked

  
“Not really. I’m not on a timetable to get to my next stop. Now Fox, what can you recommend for us to eat while we drink all of your wine?” Clarke asked picking up a menu,

  
Fox smiled, “I got you guys. I’ll let the kitchen they have orders coming in.”

  
“I hope your hungry Bellamy, because I have a feeling that she’s ordering us a feast.” Clarke joked.

 

  
“So, what is your story if you don’t mind me asking? I know you are stuck here because of the weather, but you aren’t in a hurry to get to your next destination, which means you don’t live in Boston or you wouldn’t be staying at a hotel, and you aren’t in a hurry to get home or you would be a bit more flustered about being stuck here.” he looked at her expectantly.

  
“It’s a bit of a long story. I spent the last couple of weeks here exploring Boston, and I was headed to see a friend from College, and I don’t exactly know where home is yet, so I’m not on a time table to make it back anywhere at the moment.” she briefed.

  
He stared at her like she grew a second head, then broke out in a smile “That sounds Amazing. Traveling until you find where you want to call home. That’s a dream. What is it you do?”

  
“I use to be a Cake Designer and Pastry Chef. I owned my own Bakery at one point. Now, I’m figuring out what I want to do next, so wanderer? It sounds better than unemployed. I have an old boss that I do some remote work for a few hours a week, but other than that, still figuring it out I guess.” she said a little self-conscious after saying it out loud. She thought it sounded like a broke hobo wandering the planet.

Truth was, after selling most of her things, car, soon the house, savings and the money from her business she would be comfortable for a while, not to mention the life insurance policy in a separate account she could never bring herself to use. It felt wrong to benefit from her husband's death.

  
“I know we are only on glass number 2, so I won’t push, but you sound like you have more to your story that I would love to hear. With that being said, I would love to know anything you are comfortable with sharing to a total stranger.” he said with a small smile.

  
“That’s about all I can think about for now, but give it a few more glasses and I’m sure you’ll get more and realize how boring my life really is. What about you sir? What is the story of Bellamy?” she shot back the question to him.

  
He told her that he graduated with an MFA from UCLA, then got a few contract jobs, and then was hired on at a publishing company in LA and worked his way up to traveling and meeting people and writing their stories and has been for the last 6 years. He was 33, single and was leaving for London once he left Boston this weekend to meet with someone who was one of the longest serving members of the royal family.

  
“That sounds so exciting. I spent a month in England last year, it’s really beautiful even with the dreary weather. I loved every minute there.” she expressed.

  
“So, you’re a global traveler too huh?” He nudged her elbow.

  
“Something like that. I traveled the world for about a year, before coming back stateside about a month or so ago to start traveling here.” Clarke was really starting to loosen up now that she has just finished off glass number three.

  
“Okay, you spent a whole year traveling abroad?! I need more information now.” Bellamy pleaded.

  
“We are having such a nice time, and if I tell you why, it’ll change the way you look at me and how you talk to me, it always does.” she said staring at the empty glass, looking for Fox for another one.

  
“I promise I won’t, unless you’re like a hit man or in the mafia. Are you a hitman or in the mafia?” He laughed.

  
“Oh yeah, I'm a highly trained spy, secrets out! I, um...I lost my husband in a car accident a little over a year ago. I left right after the funeral and traveled the world to all the places we said we would go one day. I came home, sold my car, house, everything and started traveling to places here state side visiting friends and places I've always wanted to go, trying to decide what’s next and where home is now.” she said looking straight ahead, avoiding he stare.

  
He put a hand on her shoulder lightly, and she turned to see his eyes that didn’t look sad or pitiful, but almost like awe.

  
“That is amazing. Not what happened of course, that I cannot image, but that you went out and decided to fulfill his dreams and are now living for yourself. Most people lose it and have a hard time moving on and rightfully so. I knew there was something special about you.”

  
Clarke felt her cheeks heat up, either from the wine or blushing. She had never received that type of reaction once she told people she was a 28-year-old widower. It was, almost refreshing.

  
“Thanks. That was not what I was expecting at all. Most people instantly pity and talk around me like I'm a china doll that will shatter at any moment.” she told him

  
“Well, how do you feel about everything that’s happened, now that you’ve had time to process?”

  
“I oddly feel at peace. There are times I still have to fight guilt that he’s not here and I am, but I’ve moved on from most of that. I loved him, he was my husband, our marriage wasn’t perfect but no one's is. I am just trying to live my life to the fullest like he would want me to. He always told me he would never want me to sulk and get in a rut if anything were to ever happen to him, so I feel like moving on is what he would have wanted for me.” Clarke said looking over at Bellamy.

  
“That was really nice of him. Most significant others wouldn’t be so selfless to tell you that. Most would want you to mourn them and not move on, at the risk of forgetting them. He sounds like he was an awesome guy.”

  
“He was. Everyone loved him, life of the party, funny, always broke any tension by making you smile any way he could.” she told him.

  
They continued with another glass of wine, and Bellamy told her about some of the things he’s written that has been published, “I just haven’t found that one story that I would want to put the time and work into adapting it for the big screen. I’m not even sure what I'm looking for, so I just hope if it comes along, I'll just know.” he told her.

  
“It’ll come to you. You seem very passionate about your work, you just have to find a story you want the world to hear and relate to.” Clarke said giving his hand a small squeeze. She stood up then and looked down at him, “I think I’m going to call it a night, but thank you for the company. I’m glad I met you.”

  
“I think I’ll head up as well. Would you want to walk together?” he asked getting up from his own stool.

  
“Sure, what floor are you on?”

  
“Six, you?”

  
“Five.” with that they waved at Fox and headed for the elevators.

 

  
Once they got to the 5th floor, Bellamy stepped out with her, “I thought you were on Six?” Clarke asked with a raised eyebrow.

  
He looked down at her and raised his own eyebrow, “I am, but what kind of gentleman would I be, if I didn’t walk you to your door this late at night?”

  
As they approached her door, she looked back at him as she inserted the key card and opened the door, "I had a nice time tonight, maybe I'll see you around the hotel while you’re here for your conference?” She asked tentatively.

  
“I’ll be disappointed if you don’t. Goodnight Clarke.” Bellamy leaned in and gave her a small peck on the cheek, then headed towards the elevators.

  
Clarke shut the door to her room, and sighed like a junior high girl. This incredibly attractive, smart and funny guy that she met by happen chance just kissed her goodnight and hopes to see her again before they leave.

It’s been too long since she last had a crush, this feels so strange and fun at the same time.

She was buzzing from more than just the wine, that she decided to set her alarm for before breakfast to hit the gym and try and put this good energy to use.


	13. C’mon girl, don’t be scared.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once is a accident. Twice is a coincidence. Three times is a pattern.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll be posting more than 1 chapter a day at this rate. These two are my favorite part of the story, so I can’t help but share!

As soon as her alarm started going off at 7:30am, Clarke instantly hated her prior self from the night before.

She forced herself to roll out of bed with a groan and headed to the bathroom to get ready to head downstairs to the gym.

  
Thankfully, no one was in the gym at almost 8am on a Saturday morning. She put her headphones in, turned on her workout playlist and started stretching.

After a nice stretch she hopped on the treadmill for a warmup. She was 5 minutes into her warmup, when she felt someone get on the treadmill next to hers. Clarke didn’t even bother looking over, and continued on her own pace until someone tapped her on the shoulder and she jumped and looked over, “Geez Bellamy, you scared me.” she said pulling out her earbuds.

  
He just smiled at her, “I thought I would have the gym to myself this morning. I didn’t think anyone else would be here on a Saturday.”

  
“I guess we had the same thought process. I get a little stir crazy just sitting in a hotel when I travel, so if I don’t have anywhere else to be, I like to take some time to work off the energy.” Clarke explained.

  
Bellamy looked at her and smirked, and she wouldn’t even let herself travel down that road of what that was probably referring to. “I like to hit the gym when I’m stuck with writer’s block, or just can’t focus on my computer anymore. It’s been a little more difficult since I had knee surgery about 2 months ago, so I’m basically just doing light and easy PT stuff.”

  
Clarke looked down at the scar on his right knee, “ACL?” she asked.

  
“Yeah, rock-climbing accident in Colorado, how did you know?” he looked at her surprised.

  
“I have a similar scar.” she said showing him her right leg. “Sand volley ball injury. That was one of the worst summers because of it.”

  
“How did you tear your ACL playing sand volley ball?” he stopped his treadmill and turned to look at her fully.

  
“It was in the middle of summer at a Sports camp that I was working at between my Freshman and Sophomore year of College. The sand on the volley ball court was so hot one day when we were playing a tournament, so in order to not burn our feet off, people were digging holes with their feet to get to the cooler sand. I stepped in one of the holes when I went for the ball and my knee went one way and my body the other way. As soon as I heard it pop, I knew exactly what had happened. Recovery was the worst, I rushed it and reaggravated it and basically had to start all over again. I could help you with some PT exercises if you want. I know what it’s like, and I won’t sugar coat it, it sucks.”

  
Bellamy looked at her with curiosity, “You continue to surprise me Clarke. I would love any help and tips you have. I’ll admit, I haven’t been the best patient and I haven’t been taking recovery too seriously, since I’ve been busy travelling and distracted. So where do we begin Doctor?” he winked.

  
“Oh, charm will not work with me sir. Let’s head over to the yoga room and do some stretches first, then we will do some light cardio putting some weight on your leg, but not a usual amount you would be used to, then some light leg workouts. Let’s go.” Clarke said as she led the way to the adjoining room.

  
They laid a couple of mats down on the hard floor and started with some leg stretches. He told her about some of his colleagues that were here for the conference, and she told him about her upcoming trips to visit Anya and Bryan.

  
“So, when are you going to be in Southern California?” Bellamy asked as they stood for the next stretch.

  
“About two weeks from now, so mid-April. I will probably be there for a couple of weeks before venturing on by May.” Clarke explained.

  
“Interesting. Any ideas where you might be headed after that?” he inquired with a side look.

  
“Not really at the moment. I’m just seeing what comes along and inspires me. I know that sounds very hippy of me, but don’t worry I love the indoors and personal hygiene too much to fall into that life style.” she said as they both busted with laughter.

  
“Okay, now for this next one, here me out. This next exercise really helped me, and it requires light hopping, rotating of your lower half and a bit of rhythm. You in?” Clarke asked.

  
He looked at her a little worried. “Are you asking me to dance?”

  
Clarke laughed and pulled up a song on her phone. As soon as it started playing, his eyes widened like saucers.

  
“You have got to be kidding me. I cannot dance, I have no rhythm.” he said in horror as ‘Jump on It’ started filling the room.

  
“It’s easy, just follow my steps.” she said laughing, and doing the moves slowly for him to catch on.

  
He caught on pretty quickly, and soon they were belting out the lyrics, dancing in circles and laughing until their stomachs hurt.

  
“Okay, I think we earned breakfast and coffee now, care to join me?” he asked.

  
“Absolutely! Let’s get out of here.” Clarke said as they rolled up their mats and left the gym.

 

  
They sat down and enjoyed their breakfast and Bellamy told her about his day of events for the conference.

They were enjoying their second cup of coffee after breakfast when he spoke again. “You know, they say once is an accident and twice is a coincidence.” he said as he looked down at his half empty coffee cup. “Then the third time is a pattern. If you would be interested, I would love to see you a third time.”

  
“Using that charm again I see. What time are you done with your conference activities for the day?” Clarke said smiling at him over her coffee cup.

  
“I think the last lecture ends at 6pm tonight, then we are free for the evening. What did you have in mind?” he asked, excitement written all over his face.

  
“Meet me in the lobby at 7? There’s this great place in Old Town Boston that does live music on Saturday Nights if you’re interested.”

  
His smile could light up the entire room, and the fluttering in her stomach intensified like a school girl crush.

  
“I will most definitely see you at 7. I guess it’s time to head up and clean up for the day.” he said glancing at the time on his phone.

  
“Care to join me?” Clarke asked, then instantly regretting how that sounded. “I meant on the elevator ride up, not...never mind.” she could feel her entire face light up red.

  
“You’re cute when you’re flustered, I guess my charm does work.” he said winking at her.

  
“Shut up, and let’s go.” she said as they stood and made their way to the elevators.

Once they stopped at the 5th floor, Clarke got off and waved at Bellamy, letting him know that she will meet him in the lobby later that evening.

 

 

Clarke spent the rest of the day cleaning up, taking a nap, then going out to the nearest shopping center to find an outfit for tonight. She didn't know if this was exactly a date, but she still wanted to look nice.

Bellamy was something she was not expecting, and for all she knew she was just someone for him to hang out with for the weekend that’s was not one of his colleagues. Either way, she was going to enjoy this last weekend here in Boston.

  
At 6:50 she decided to go ahead and head down to the lobby. Clarke got to the elevator and pushed the button to go down. Once the doors opened, there he was. A light gray sweater that had two large buttons near the neck, dark wash jeans, and those dark messy curls that were, admittingly, adorable. He looked up and smiled at her, and she couldn’t help the small laugh that came out.

  
“I guess we had the same idea about heading down there a little early.” Clarke said as she stepped onto the elevator.

  
“I’m sorry, but I’m meeting someone just downstairs, and I don’t think she would be too impressed with me flirting with someone else on the ride down there.” Bellamy said with a straight face, looking straight at the door.

  
Clarke was just stunned, and confused for a quick second, until the elevator doors opened and he dashed out of the elevator without a single look in her direction. What the hell? She shook her head of confusion and walked out of the elevator, just for him to turn around and smile wide at her.

  
“There you are! You would not believe, this woman was trying to hit on me on my way down to meet you, not to worry though, I told her I was otherwise occupied tonight.” he said with a wink, then took two steps back and looked at her appreciatively.

  
“Oh my Gosh, I was so confused! I literally thought you were meeting someone else, rude!” she said smacking his arm.

  
“I just wanted to see the look on your face, and see if you would catch on. You look absolutely amazing by the way.” he said genuinely, reaching for her hands and twirling her around slowly.

  
Clarke had found a long sleeved burgundy short dress that she paired with black patterned tights, tan knee-high boots and a cream scarf. There still was a massive winter warning out after all.

  
“Why thank you sir. You look fantastic yourself.” she said, probably blushing again.

  
“I have a car outside, ready to take us out for the evening. You ready?” he said leaning his arm out to her.

  
“So ready, lead the way.” she said taking his arm and heading out of the hotel.


	14. I’d give up forever to touch you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy go out on their first date! Or is it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing these two, and we get a few more characters that we know and love!

They arrived at the dive bar, and ordered drinks while browsing the menu. There was a band getting set up to play and the place was well filled, but not packed out.

It was comfortable, easy, and Clarke was having a ton of fun with Bellamy. He was a genuinely nice person, funny, smart, interesting and she was having to stop herself from reaching over and brushing his curls out of his face.

  
“So, I feel like you know way more personal information about me than I do about you. I have some catching up to do.” she said after they finished ordering dinner.

  
“That’s fair. You know the basics, how old I am, where I’m from, what I do for a living. I have a sister. She’s in Vancouver with her Fiancé, our Dad was never in the picture and our Mom passed away about 12 years ago so it’s just me and Octavia.”

“I had a girlfriend for about  three and a half years, but we broke up last year. She wanted to live in LA full time and pursue acting, and I only wanted to be in LA when I had to for work, that lifestyle is not appealing to me. When I’m not travelling for work, I hated having my home in LA and we just wanted very different things. I actually have to head back to LA in a few weeks to finish moving my stuff out while I’m there turning in projects, since I haven’t been back in a while to be able to get that done.” Bellamy went on to explain.

  
“Well, I hope it was at least amicable, otherwise you may not have stuff to go back for.” Clarke added.

  
“It wasn’t a huge blow up, but I still had a friend of mine in the area pack up my stuff while she was gone for the holidays and store it for me just in case.” he said smirking.

  
“Smart man.” They enjoyed their dinner with more conversation. Clarke told him about her Mom and that she also lost my father and had a sister as well. They found that they had a lot of random things in common, and it was just relaxing to meet someone who truly understood where you were coming from.

 

After dinner, the band opened the stage for an open mic hour. They were on their 3rd drink, when Bellamy stood up “I do have something else about me that not many people know.” then he walked towards the stage.

  
Clarke saw him talk to the band, grab a guitar and then sit on a stool near a mic. Her eyes just widened as his started to strum a slow and gentle beat. As soon as he started singing, Clarke just got lost and she could feel her smile splitting her face in two. She didn’t  really remember all the words, or what the song was, but it was something about not being a super hero, but he could be everything you need and a different kind of hero and believing in destiny.

 

As Bellamy finished the song and everyone clapped, he looked right at Clarke and broke out the biggest smile she had ever seen. He made his way back to their table and slide into the booth with her this time.

  
“I like to play around with the guitar, especially when I’m having a big writer’s block. Sometimes the music itself, or putting words to music helps break that barrier. No one really knows that about me, wouldn’t want to give away all of my secrets now.” he said looking a little nervous.

  
“You were amazing! I don’t think I could perform like that, especially on the spot. You continue to impress me.” I said genuinely.

  
Bellamy just smiled down at Clarke and started to lean in. She knew this was bound to happen, even though it’s only been 24 hours since they met. They have this crazy attraction, and seem to be drawn to each other. Right before their lips met, someone shouted out his name.

 

He leaned his forehead on hers and let out a loud sigh, then looked at Clarke with an apologetic eyes. He pulled away and looked in the direction of the voice to see some of his colleagues that just entered the bar.

  
“Hey Miller, Murphy. This is Clarke. Clarke these are some of my co-workers Nate and Murphy.” he introduced.

  
“Nice to meet ya’ll enjoying a night out of the hotel?” Clarke asked the guys.

  
“Yes, I thought I was going to get cabin fever if I stayed there any longer, and the front desk receptionist suggested this place. Seems cool, I like the vibe.” Murphy said looking around.

  
“The vibe? What are you a hipster now?” Nate said in disgust.

  
“I’m a writer and part time musician that lives in one of the most hipster capitals in the world, I'm allowed.” Murphy shot back.

  
Nate just rolled his eyes and asked if they could join them, and if looks could kill, Bellamy would have just definitely just murdered his two friends.

  
“Sure, it seems like the crowd is picking up.” Clarke told them as she placed a gentle hand on Bellamy’s knee, letting him know it was okay with her if they wanted to join them.

  
“Well, it seems you two will be grabbing the next round then.” Bellamy said with a sarcastic smirk. “I’ll take another dark ale, and Clarke?” 

  
“An apple martini, if you don’t mind.” she said looking at the guys across from them.

  
“I’ll grab the first round, Murphy what do you want?” Nate said standing up.

  
“A pale ale is good with me, thanks man!” He replied with a wide smile. “Sorry if we interrupted your date, we didn’t know you would be here, much less with someone we have never met. Are you new to the writer’s circuit?” Murphy asked.

  
Before Clarke could form an answer, Bellamy spoke up. She was too focused on the ‘Date’ aspect, since they didn’t establish if this was a date or not, and she hasn’t been on a date in years, even after she got married they didn’t go on many ‘Dates’. Dating went on the back burner those last months and even year it seemed.

  
“Yes, you did, and no she is not. We met last night, and again this morning and wanted to enjoy each other's company outside of the hotel for the evening. But you’re here now, so thanks.” Bellamy said sarcastically.

  
“Anytime man.” Murphy shot back laughing. “So, who are you then, and what super power do you yield to get this hermit out of his comfort zone and out of the hotel? We can never get him to go out with us when we come to these conferences. He’s always held up in his room writing or working on a new project.”

  
“I didn’t get that feeling from him at all. It was his idea to come out tonight, so maybe it’s just you he didn’t want to come out with. And to answer your other question, my super power is quick wit and sarcasm.” Clarke answered with a fake and sweet smile.

  
“I like this one. Keep her and bring her to all our meetings.” Murphy said to Bellamy as Nate joined hem and passed the drinks around.

“Cheers to Clarke, a magician for getting Bellamy out and with the living!” Murphy said raising his glass.

  
“Ha. Ha. I’m not that bad, but he does have a point. It takes a very special person to get me out on these weekends, so cheers to you indeed.” Bellamy said clicking his glass to Clarke’s with a smile.

  
“You guys are going to give me a big head if you aren’t careful. So how was the conference for you two today?” Clarke asked Nate and Murphy.

  
“Boring, same old lectures every year, nothing new, ready for it to be over honestly.” Nate answered, and Murphy nodded his agreement.

  
“But enough about our boring weekend, which I'm sure Bellamy has filed you in on. Tell us about you.” Murphy said overly excited.

  
“Umm, I’m 28, from Texas, been traveling the last year or so, got stuck in Boston for the weekend due to the weather, and I’m headed to see one of my best friends from college in Michigan whenever I get a flight out. I have a Degree in Culinary and Business with a concentration in Pastry, I’m a certified Pastry Chef, I have one sister and my favorite color is Blue and Orange equally.” Clarke listed off.

  
“Texas? I didn’t hear an accent at all. I could’ve sworn you were from around here.” Nate added.

  
“I wish. I have been here for about 2 weeks, checking out the city. I didn’t go to Culinary School in Texas and I haven’t been back except for two weeks in the last year and a half, and I don’t think I had an accent before, so it wouldn’t be detectable.” Clarke explained.

  
She didn’t realize her hand was still on Bellamy’s knee, until she felt him move and interlock their fingers together. He was looking at her with amazement as she told his friends her life highlights with ease.

  
They continued with idle chat, until the band started playing a familiar song, Iris. She must have gasped, because Bellamy looked over at her, stood up and offered his hand to her.

  
“I thought you don’t dance?” Clarke said smirking at him as she took his hand.

  
“I don’t club dance, but I’m not too bad at this stuff.” he explained as he led her out to the dance floor. Clarke could hear the guys back at the table whistling, and Bellamy just flipped them off and smile down at her.

  
As we began to move in time with the music, I couldn’t help the feeling of never wanting to leave this moment. I didn’t know what it was, A crush? Attraction? Genuine Feelings? I never thought I could have those again, that we only get one love in our life, and I had mine already.

 

  
_“And I don’t want the world to see me, cause I don’t think that they’d understand. When everything’s made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.”_

 

  
“I can hear you thinking, what’s on your mind?” Bellamy asked looking down at her with a sweet smile

  
“Nothing, just how long it’s been since I've had such a good time with someone else. I don’t want it to end as cheesy as that sounds.” Clarke told him.

  
“It doesn’t have to be the end, you know? We still have tonight, and tomorrow. Remember when I told you once by accident, twice by chance and three times a pattern?” Clarke nodded at him. “I think the fourth time is by choice and anything after that is fate.” with that he finally leaned down and their lips met with a sweet and soft kiss.

  
He felt familiar, like coming home after long hard day, like the first warm breeze of Summer and the last frost of Winter before Spring. He made the guilt disappear, made her feel like she could get more than one chance at love in this life.

  
“I’ve wanted to do that since I saw you sitting at the bar alone last night in the hotel lobby. Before I knew your name, your story, the way you stir your drink when you are thinking, the way that you bite your bottom lip when given a compliment, just who you are. But I'm glad I waited until I knew all those things, because knowing what I know now, makes this all so much better. Whenever and wherever you find your place in this world, just know that I would love to be a part of it in anyway.” he said as he leaned his forehead onto hers as the song finished.

“You want to head back to the table, or back to the hotel?” he asked.

  
“Let’s walk back, it looks like the snow has stopped, and it really is beautiful out tonight.” Clarke said leading him towards the door, they looked over to their table and waved at the guys, who had bright smiles plastered on their faces as they waved back.

  
They walked hand and hand back to the hotel that was only a few blocks away, but the city was lite up for the evening and it was such a bright atmosphere to walk back in. After a few short minutes of companionable silence, Clarke had to ask, “So, whenever and wherever huh?” she asked him a little teasingly.

  
“Don’t think you’ll be able to get rid of me that easily.” he said as he looked over and smiled back at her.

  
“Good thing I'm not looking to.”  
He pulled her into his side and they enjoyed the rest of the walk back to the hotel.

 

  
When they got the hotel, they walked into the lobby to see a few people sitting around the bar, and then Fox saw them and let out a loud whistle making everyone turn around and look at them. “Just remember it’s because of me that you two met!” she shouted at them.

  
“Yeah, yeah, you’re a modern-day cupid. Goodnight!” Bellamy shouted back, earning a laugh from Fox as they headed for the elevators.

  
Once they reached the 5th floor, they stepped back out hand and hand. When they reached Clarke’s room, she suddenly was hit with what was going on. Does she invite him in? Say goodnight and end the evening? She didn’t think she was ready for either of those. He must have noticed her hesitation, because he squeezed her hand until she looked up at him, “Hey, you want to sit out here with me and talk some more, since we were rudely interrupted earlier?” he asked genuinely.

  
“Absolutely. I’m not ready to say goodnight yet.” with that they slide down next to each other in the quiet hallway.

  
Bellamy told her that he was going to be in London until the first of April and then he would be in LA for a few weeks. “If you happen to be in Southern California still when I get back to LA, I would love to see you again. Same us different coast, what do you think?” he asked.

  
“I would love that. I’ll be in San Diego. I’ve never been to LA, but if you hate it that much, maybe we can find somewhere on the coast in the middle?” Clarke suggested.

  
“Some time alone time on a beautiful beach with you sounds like paradise. Don’t forget about me before then. Would you like to join me for breakfast in the morning? 8am?” he looked hopeful.

  
“I would love to.” with that they both stood up to say goodnight. “I will see you for breakfast at 8am.” Clarke said to him.

  
He put his hand on her cheek, leaned in and kissed her. Still soft, but not chaste. Clarke could do this forever she thought.

“8am.” he repeated back. “Goodnight Clarke, I'll see you in the morning.” with that he was gone, and Clarke was still standing in front of her door absolutely dumb struck.

  
Once she made it back inside her room and learned how to breathe again, she got changed and ready for bed, set her alarm and fell right to sleep with a huge smile on her face.


	15. And I don’t even know your name.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first obstacle after finding one another, is having to find each other again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We get a little bit of Bellamy’s POV.

Clarke woke up around 5:30 am to her email chiming at her, that’s what she gets for being such a light sleeper. It was an email reminder from the airport that her flight was leaving at 8am and she jumped out of bed in a panic.

 

She was so distracted all day yesterday to remember to check for the email telling her flight information for the day. Great, she needed to find Bellamy and tell him she couldn’t meet him at 8am, since she would be on a flight to Michigan. Then she realized she didn’t have his phone number or his room number.

 

Great. She jumped in the shower, called down to the front desk to arrange the shuttle to get her to the airport on time, and then rushed around her room packing all of her things.

 

She wrote a letter to Bellamy; in case she couldn’t catch him in the lobby before she left. Clarke left her name, including her last name which she doesn’t think she ever gave him.

 

It’s still weird wondering if she should go by her married name or maiden name anymore. She also left her phone number and told him she was so sorry she couldn’t find him before she left to say goodbye in person.

 

Clarke told him to call her when he could and she would hopefully still see him in California in a few weeks and good luck in London. She wrote Bellamy on the envelope and sealed it. Then headed down to the coffee station in the lobby, with her bags in tow.

 

  
Clarke waited until the very last minute, sipping her coffee in the lobby, waiting to see if Bellamy would come down early so she could see him and explain why she had to leave.

 

Once the shuttle driver arrived and started to take her bags outside, she walked over to the front desk to give the letter to the front desk agent, seeing that she could get it to him when he went to checkout or came down for breakfast so he didn’t think she stood him up.

 

  
The girl in front of her talking to the agent looked familiar, but she couldn’t place why. She moved over to sign something so Clarke could approach the front desk agent. She handed her the note with Bellamy’s name on it and asked her if she could get it to him when he came down for breakfast, and that Clarke was so sorry but she had to leave for her flight.

 

  
“I’m one of Bellamy’s co-workers. I’d be happy to see that he gets it. I’m Roma by the way.” the girl said, reaching her hand out to shake Clarke’s.

 

  
“I’m Clarke. You wouldn’t mind seeing that he gets this?” Clarke asked hesitantly.

 

  
“Not at all. I think we are all meeting for breakfast anyway, I’ll make sure he knows you had to leave in a hurry.” she said with a genuine smile. So, Clarke handed her the letter, thanked her, finished checking out and headed towards the shuttle to get to the airport.

 

 

  
Once she got to her gate and waited to board, Clarke remembered that she saw her in the Hotel Lobby Bar last night when she and Bellamy got back, but what she didn’t know was that as soon as she left the hotel, Roma trashed her letter to Bellamy letting him know why she wasn’t at breakfast and why she had to leave so suddenly.

 

As soon as Clarke arrived in Detroit, MI she turned her phone off of airplane mode and had zero texts. She figured Bellamy would have opened her letter and texted her by now. Maybe he was in a rush to finish todays lectures and pack, since he was leaving today as well and headed for another country. Clarke tried to not let it bother her, but something inside of her told her something was off.

 

  
_Meanwhile, Back in Boston..._

  
**Bellamy:**

 

Bellamy woke up at 7:30 and took a quick shower before heading downstairs. He got down there right at 7:55 and waited for Clarke.

This girl came into his life like a hurricane. All consuming, beautifully chaotic, complex, strong and intriguing. He could spend hours just listening to her talk.

By 8:10 he started to think about going up to her room and knocking, maybe she slept in? As he was walking towards the elevators, he heard someone calling his name, “Hey Roma, I'm kind of busy. I'm supposed to be meeting someone.” Bellamy said walking past her.

  
“I know, Clarke had to leave early this morning. I ran into her checking out about an hour ago. She said she got an early flight and had to go, but wanted me to tell you she had a great time meeting you and to contact her sometime.” She told him.

  
“Oh, did she leave you her contact info to give me? I was going to get it from her at breakfast this morning.” he asked hopefully.

  
“No, sorry. I thought you had it, otherwise I would have asked her for you. Maybe she was just trying to be polite and that’s why she didn’t leave it.” Roma said sadly.

  
“Damn it, I don’t even know her last name! She wouldn’t have just left without letting me know or leaving some kind of information for me.” Bellamy barked as he headed for the front desk.

  
“Hello, I know it may not be policy, but I’m looking for some information for Clarke in room 512. She checked out early this morning and forgot to leave her number. If you can’t give me that, can you at least give me her last name?” he pleaded with the guy in front of him.

  
“I’m sorry sir, the phone number on file is the airline that was paying for her room and we are not allowed to give out any personal information.” the agent explained.

  
“Bellamy, it’s okay. I’m sure she’ll find you if she wants to, and she would have left her info if she wanted you to find her. Come on, come join the rest of us for breakfast, there’s nothing we can do right now.” Roma said.

  
“I guess you’re right. I’ll be right there.” I told her. “Thank you for trying, I know it’s against policy and such.” he said to the front desk clerk.

  
“Jaha.” the man said quietly, so only Bellamy could hear.

  
“That’s her last name?” he asked hopeful.

  
“I don’t know what you are referring to sir.” he said with a small wink.

  
“Thank you anyway.” Bellamy said with a smile.

 

Okay Clarke Jaha, where could you be?


	16. Girls just want to have fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke finally arrives for some much needed girl time with Anya.

_Back in Michigan..._

  
**Clarke:**

  
Clarke waited outside the airport at passenger pickup looking for Anya, when all the sudden she heard “OH MY GOD!” echoing throughout the tunnel. She looked over to the black SUV with her best friend poking her head out of the sunroof waving like a lunatic at her.

Clarke laughed as she made her way over to her friend's car as she opened the back to help put her bags in. “Come here my love! It’s been way too long! God, I missed you.” Anya said as she wrapped Clarke in a bone crushing hug.

  
“I missed you more than ever! Tell Theo and James to quit hogging you!” Clarke said as she hugged her back.

  
They got in the car and started making their way out of the airport when Anya asked, “So how was Boston? Did it suck having to stay an extra weekend at the airport hotel?”

  
“Not really. It was pretty nice actually. I met some great people, got to enjoy Boston a little bit more, kind of met someone.” Clarke said in a rush.

  
“You WHAT?! Dish!!!! Who is he?!” Anya said too loud for the car.

  
“Calm down, I don’t even know if I'll even hear from him. We were supposed to have breakfast this morning, but my flight was earlier than I thought and I didn’t know his room number, so I left a note with my info with one of his colleagues. We met Friday night in the hotel bar, ran into each other at the gym the next morning, had breakfast right after and he asked me out to dinner that night. We went to dinner, had drinks, danced, and he kissed me goodnight asking to have breakfast together the next morning. We told each other a lot of things about ourselves.”

”He’s a writer that travels all over writing biographies and memoirs and was in town for a writer’s convention that is held there every year. I told him about going to see Bryan in San Diego in a few weeks, and he said he would be back from London and in LA by then and wanted to meet up. I figured he would’ve read my note by now and texted me at least, but that was hours ago, so...” Clarke told her.

  
“Maybe he’s one of those guys who thinks you have to wait 3 days or something stupid like that, or wants to wait until he’s back from London to make plans for when you’re both in California. Don’t give up hope that he’s just a jerk if you really hit it off like it sounds, but regardless we are cyber stalking him when we get to the house. Do you at least have a last name?” she asked.

  
“Yeah, Bellamy Blake. I only know his last name because I looked up a few books he has published. I wonder how many of those there are in the world.” Clarke said.

  
“Well you know what he does for a living, what he looks like and where he works so it should narrow it down.”

  
“I don’t want to come off like a stalker, I just have this weird feeling that he maybe didn’t get the note at all.” Clarke said thinking back on the decision to give it to that girl he works with.

  
“What makes you say that?” Anya inquired.

  
“There was this girl who saw us come in the hotel last night, and I saw her at the front desk early this morning. When she heard me talking to the front desk agent about giving the note to him, she happily volunteered to give it to him for me. She seemed genuine, but who knows, maybe she just chunked it after I left, and he thinks I stood him up.” she said starting to feel more and more like that was the likely scenario.

  
“Okay, before we start making a voodoo doll of this girl, let’s look him up. If he hasn’t responded by the end of the week, maybe you can contact him somehow?” Anya suggested.

  
“I’m not sure how to do that, since he’ll be in London for the next few weeks. If we don’t find him online, then maybe I can look him up when I’m in California.” Clarke decided.

  
“Well, let’s hit brunch first, fill up on mimosas and then head to the house and find this mystery man. I’m excited to see what he looks like, to be able to catch your attention like this. I mean you turned down some good looking Aussie and Italian boys last year when you were traveling the world.”

  
“I wasn’t on that journey to find boys.” she said rolling my eyes.

  
“And this trip you were?” Anya had her there and she knew it.

  
“No, but it knocked me over out of nowhere. He’s taller, tan, the cutest freckles and messy dark curly hair."

  
“Sound like College Clarke’s type for sure.” she said winking at her.

  
“Hey! Jeff was Blonde!” Clarke argued.

  
“Yeah, and that fling lasted a month, two tops.” she reminded Clarke.

  
“Shut up. I need a mimosa to continue this with you.” she said jokingly.

  
“Good thing we are going where they are bottomless and plenty.” Anya said as they drove towards our destination.

 

 

They spent most of the brunch catching up on life. Anya on being a new Mommy to little James and Clarke's travels and navigating this new stage of life.

  
“I just don’t know how I’m supposed to be happy or enjoy things without feeling that guilt, then I feel guilty that I don’t feel guilty sometimes. It’s so confusing. Am I an awful person for being happy, even though Wells is gone? Am I supposed to only be able to be a little happy about certain things and guilty about other things? There’s not a how-to book on this shit.” Clarke said, and maybe bottomless mimosas were not a good idea.

  
“Clarke Jane! Wells loved you. I know things weren’t that great towards the end but I know you loved that man with all you had. He wouldn’t want you to be miserable or feel guilty for moving on with your life I can guarantee you that. The first time something happens that’s new for you without him will feel weird, and maybe you’ll want to feel guilty about being happy, but you can’t live your life that way. You’re still here, you’re still alive and you need to live this life you have been given. You know he would tell you the same thing.” she told her.

  
“You’re right. And he did tell me that. One of the things he told me when we had talks about one of us not being around for any reason, was that he wouldn’t want me to sulk without him. He wanted me to live life and be happy no matter what. Maybe that’s why I feel so guilty, because he wanted that for me and I don’t know that if it was the other way around if I would’ve been that selfless.”

“I will always love Wells but when I met Bellamy, for the first time in years I felt something for someone I haven’t ever felt and as amazing as it felt, I also had that guilt, that I could feel like this for someone who wasn’t my Husband. It scares me to death.” Clarke said honestly.

  
Anya reached her hand over to her and held her hand. “Don’t you ever feel guilty for feeling happy or loved. No one knows how to deal with this, but I know that living your life to the fullest is exactly what he wanted for you and you know that too. I’ll be damned if I let my best friend walk around living, but be dead on the inside. C’mon, your nephew is dying to see you!” She smiled at Clarke.

  
“I am so excited to finally meet him in person and not over Facetime. Also, I have a gift from Uncle Jasper for little man.” Clarke told her.

  
They left the restaurant and headed to Anyas house outside of the city.


	17. LA LA Baby, where dreams are made.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hunt for the Mystery Man is on! Plus, Bellamy returns to LA to some amazing news!

When they walked through the door, they were greeted by Anya's two pups Duke and Daisy.

  
“Thank Goodness you are home, he won’t take his bottle!” Oh Theo, Anya’s Husband. Poor guy looked wiped.

  
“Give him here, he might be trying to break teeth.” Anya said as she reached for their son.

  
“Hey Stranger, it’s good to see you. I’ll take your bags to the guest room.” Theo said as he gave Clarke a hug.

  
“Alright, where is little mister James?” she said walking over to Anya and her 9 month old son. “Is he really cutting teeth this early?” Clarke inquired.

  
“He might be. He’s been super cranky and running a small fever and chewing on everything he can get his hands on. I haven’t seen any just yet though.” she explained as she handed him over to Clarke.

  
He was such a cute baby and when she looked at him, he just smiled around the toy he was currently chewing on. Dark hair, Blue eyes and little chubby cheeks. “There is a box gift wrapped in the front of my large suitcase from Jasper.” She told Anya, as she disappeared into the guest room to locate the package.

  
“Oh my Gosh! Jasper would buy my son Baby Ugg's! I’ll have to call him later tonight.” she told her while holding up the cute little boots.

“Okay, now let’s start finding your mystery man missy.” she said as she came and sat next to Clarke with her laptop.

  
“What mystery man?” Theo asked, as he came back into the living room with them.

  
“Clarke met someone in Boston, and we need to find him.” she said nonchalantly. Clarke just looked at him and shrugged. They both knew once Anya decided something, she wasn’t going to change her mind.

  
“Okay, well I’m headed out to get the Groceries and stop at my parents. Don’t get into too much trouble you two. James, you keep an eye on them.” Theo said as he headed out the front door.

  
“Okay, so let’s start with Facebook and Instagram. Bellamy Blake.” she said as she started typing.

  
“Well, nothing with Bellamy or Bell on Facebook or Instagram. Did he seem like an anti-social media type of person?” She asked Clarke.

  
“I have no idea. His co-workers said he’s usually a hermit and works a lot, so maybe he doesn’t do social media.” Clarke told her.

  
“Okay, then let’s try google. Hmm... I see some book titles with his name coming up, publishing company I'm guessing he works for, and that’s about it. Not even a photo. How rude.” she stated. “Do you happen to have a picture of him from this weekend?”

  
“Unfortunately, not. I guess we will just have to wait and see if he contacts me, since he doesn’t seem to exist online.” Clarke said a bit deflated. “This little guy is the only man I need right now anyways.” she said as she lifted up James and made him laugh.

  
“Yeah, he’s real cute until he needs changed” Anya joked.

  
“I don’t care, the next two weeks is all about us! We don’t need to wait around and worry about the Mystery Man.” Clarke said, more so trying to convince herself than anyone else.

 

 

Anya and Clarke spent the next two weeks catching up and having girl time, watching reality TV while drinking wine in the evenings, shopping, getting mani pedis, redecorating James’ room, taking James and the Dogs to the park and visiting the great lakes near the end of the trip once the weather started to warm up a bit.

  
On her last night, they  were sitting on the couch with the dogs laying by their feet, James and Theo long gone to bed and the baby monitor on the side table while having multiple glasses of wine. Tomorrow was Saturday and Clarke was headed to see Bryan. It has been 2 weeks, and still no luck on the Bellamy front.

  
“So, still nothing from our mystery man? He should be back from London by now right?” Anya asked.

  
“Maybe, he said he would be headed back to LA this weekend when I last saw him, but who knows. Maybe he just really was only in it for the weekend, and has no interest in me or my past emotional baggage.” Clarke expressed.

  
“I doubt it. I bet the jealous girl never gave him your info. If it’s meant to be you will find each other again, just like you did the first time.” she sounded so sure.

  
“Maybe, California is the land where dreams are made, they say.” she said.

  
“Gosh I'm going to miss you and your cheesy lines.” Anya told me.

  
“And my cooking.” Clarke added.

  
“Ahh yes, that too.” then they started laughing before finishing their glasses and heading to bed themselves.

 

 

_Somewhere between Heathrow and LAX..._

  
**Bellamy:**

  
It’s been two weeks since Bellamy left Boston and last saw Clarke. He search all over the internet for Clarke Jaha and nothing came back. No social media, nothing on Google and he was starting to lose hope.

 

He had very little public information to go off of, and he was starting to feel like a stalker with how many times her name was put into his Google search.

 

He was landing in California soon and couldn’t help but feel disappointed. He didn’t like LA, that wasn’t a secret, but he was really hoping to get to see Clarke while they were both there.

 

Leave it to his luck to be so close to her, but have no idea where she was or how to get in touch with her. Great, welcome back.

 

  
London was amazing, when he wasn’t distracted. Bellamy got a good head start on his next project and he wanted nothing more than to get the rest of his things out of LA and moved to the next place.

 

  
They had a meeting this morning when he arrived. Nothing big, just updating the company on their projects and deadlines, as well as possible new leads.

 

When he arrived at his gate, he gathered his bags and headed for the passenger pickup to find the uber that he ordered. As soon as he walked outside it was warm and sunny, almost the exact opposite of London and Boston over the last month or so.

  
When he arrived at the office, he put my bags in his office and headed to the coffee cart, before making his way to the conference room. Murphy and Miller were already in there with a few others when he walked in.

  
“Hey man, how was London?” Nate asked.

  
“It was really nice. The gentleman I interview was very informative and friendly. I think this will be a good piece, if not over here then for sure over there, although with the new found obsession Americans have over the Royal Family, it might do well here too.” Bellamy explained.

  
“Any luck on the Clarke front?" Murphy asked hesitantly.

  
“Nothing. I know she is supposed to be in California by now, visiting a friend in San Diego, but that’s all I know. It’s not like I can just drive down there and look for her. San Diego may not be as big as LA, but it’s still huge.” Bellamy said defeated.

  
“That blows man. She seems like a good one. I still bet that she was just so flustered and rushed about having to leave so fast, that she just forgot to leave her info without thinking. You still coming over after we’re done here?” Nate asked, always the positive one.

  
“Yeah, I’m ready to get my stuff shipped out of here as soon as possible. Thanks again for taking care of that while I was out of the country.” Bellamy told him.

  
“No problem. I wouldn’t want my stuff lying around my house with my Ex around and I couldn’t get back to get it.”

  
“Where is Charles? I just want to get this over with and go sleep.” Bellamy asked looking around.

Charles Pike was their boss. He could make or crush your stories before they ever made it to the editors. He also was in charge of where they went next, and Bellamy just wanted to know so he could move his stuff as soon as he possibly could.

  
“Good morning everyone. And welcome back to those of you that have been away for a while. We have some exciting things happening here at Manning Publishers. We are opening a new North West Location that some of you will be housed out of, with the occasional travel still in play, but stationed for the most part. I know that is good news to those of you that would like a little bit more of a permanent address. This location is opening at the end of the summer. So in 3 short months, some of you will be making the move up to Vancouver. We took your current situations as well as tenure with the company, assignments currently opened and options you listed at the beginning of the year of your opinion and openness to moving. You will receive an email this afternoon with your new assignments, and if you are going to Vancouver, all the details you will need with the office location, when you will need to arrive and your new position will be emailed to you as well. Now let’s go around the room and catch up with what you’ve all been working on.” Charles said.

 

 

After the meeting was over, Charles asked Bellamy to hang back in the conference room. “Hey Bellamy, how was London?

  
“It was good sir, very insightful. I think this story from the gentleman of the Royal Services will sell well in Europe as well as here in the states with the current Royal Family craze.” he informed him.

  
“Sounds promising. So, I did want to let you know that I selected you for the move to Vancouver. I know that was your home, your sister is there, you hate LA and now that you and Echo are no longer together, this might be just the change you need. You’re one of my longest standing writers as well as one of the best and I want to keep you happy. You will have a higher position there if you choose to accept it, which would give you first pick of the leads we have come in, so you can also decide how much traveling you want to do and what stories you want to explore. Maybe start diving into script writing. You know that area is where a lot of movies and TV shows setup for filming. It could be a good chance to get into that as well if you wanted to.” he explained.

  
“Wow, sir. That’s amazing! I would be more than happy to accept that position. Octavia will be thrilled to finally have me around again I'm sure. I won’t let you down.” Bellamy expressed as he shook his hand.

  
“We will miss you around here Blake, but I’m sure I'll be seeing you up there on occasion, and we will be in touch on projects.” he said as he left the conference room.

 

He couldn’t wait to call Octavia and ship his stuff to her house until he found a place of his own in Vancouver.

  
As soon as Bellamy called his sister and told her he was moving back home to Vancouver after being gone for so long, she literally screamed in his ear, “OH MY GOD! Lincoln, Bell is moving back home! Of course, you can ship your stuff here and stay with us, until you find a place to live. I’m so happy you’re going to be back home! When do you move?” she asked talking a mile a minute.

  
“The office doesn’t open until the end of the summer, but I have a ton of other projects I can finish anywhere, and I would rather do it there and be set up and moved in before I start at the new office. I’ll be there by the end of the week.” he told her.

  
They worked out the details. He was going to ship most of his stuff and would drive his car up to Vancouver with the rest of his stuff that could fit. He would take some time to enjoy the drive and make some stops along the way.

He decided to break up the 20 some odd hour drive up over the whole weekend and arrive in Vancouver on Sunday.

This was going to be an amazing start to a new chapter of life, but no matter how excited he was, something was still nagging at the back of my mind that something was still missing, or rather someone.


	18. Timing is everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get both Clarke and Bellamy’s POV in this one. Will these two ever meet again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I’m mean. But, I can promise that it will be worth it!

_Meanwhile in San Diego..._

  
**Clarke:**

  
Clarke landed in Sunny San Diego yesterday and was greeted by her very best friend. The friend that she has been through everything with, Bryan.

He and Clarke met the Summer between Freshman and Sophomore Year of College and have been inseparable since. He was the Man of Honor in her Wedding, held her hand during Wells’ Funeral and has never left her side. He was her person, so as soon as he finished hugging her, he knew, “What’s wrong?!” He asked suddenly.

  
“Nothing, why did Anya tell you something was wrong?” Clarke asked.

  
“No, she just told me that you were pinning over some stranger and to keep you occupied. Who is he and how do we find him?” He asked as they got in the car.

  
“We don’t. Anya and I tried and failed many times. He doesn’t exist on the internet, so no such luck.” she told him simply.

  
“Well it seems like we need to hit happy hour before we meet David for dinner.” Bryan said looking over at her.

  
“How are things with you and David?” effectively changing the subject.

  
“It’s okay. We still fight about him always working and being gone all week for work and still working when he’s actually home. The usual. I, actually have an interview for a new job that would relocate me out of San Diego, and unlike him, I would move to where this job was, and not commute every week.” he admitted hesitantly.

  
“Where is it?” she knew how much Bryan loved living in San Diego for the last 5 years, so it would have to take something big to get him to leave.

  
“Atlanta. I would be taking a higher position. I would hate to leave San Diego, but this could be a once in a lifetime chance, you know?”

  
“I do. I think you should go for it if it’s what you want. David will either get on board, or maybe this is what you two need to see that things are different now and leave it at that.” she told him, for what felt like the millionth time. Clarke liked David, she really did. But the two of them are better separate than together, and they’ve known that forever.

  
“I could tell you the same thing Missy. If finding this mystery guy is what you want, then you should go for it. Let’s look him up in LA while we are there next weekend and see what we find!” Bryan said like it was the best idea in the world.

  
“Okay, but until then, let’s just have Clarke and Bryan time spent on the Beach, Surfing, Shopping and eating!” Clarke told him.

  
“That I can do. I’m so glad you’re here!” He said reaching over to squeeze her hand.

  
“Me too love, me too.” she squeezed back.

 

 

_Back in LA..._

  
**Bellamy:**

  
Bellamy headed straight for Nate’s office as soon as he got off of the phone with Octavia, he and Murphy were looking at his computer screen when he walked in “Guess who is moving back to Vancouver?” Bellamy asked.

  
“Apparently all three of us.” Murphy said. “Nate and I just got the email! Dude, this is Amazing! I can’t wait, the three of us together more often and in the same city for the most part.”

  
“I’m headed up there this weekend, shipping my stuff today and driving the rest. I can spend the summer finishing some of my projects before we get a new workload. When are you two planning on making the move?” Bellamy asked.

  
“I’m going up soon to find a place to live, get settled and such. What about you Miller?” Murphy asked.

  
“I’ll probably head up next month. I have quite a few things to finish here first. Let me know if you two have any leads on apartments when you are looking.” Nate said.

  
“For sure. Hey Nate, I'm going to head over to your place and get those boxes and take them to the post office before they close. I’ll see you when I get back.” Bellamy said as he left the two of them where he found them.

 

 

_Back in San Diego..._

  
**Clarke:**

  
Bryan and Clarke spent their week hanging out at the beach, Surfing in the freezing cold water, visiting the shops, eating and birding around San Diego.

 

They had plans to leave early the next morning on Friday to hit LA for the weekend. They had all the touristy things planned out since every time she came to visit San Diego, they never had much time to visit LA.

 

They would be hitting up Disneyland first and Clarke felt like a kid waiting for Christmas Morning. They were sitting up making their plan of attack for the next day when the topic came up. “I looked up your mystery man. He works for a company named Manning Publishers in LA. We could make a pit stop on our way to Disney tomorrow if you want to.” Bryan said nonchalantly.

 

  
“Do you think that comes off stalker like? Stopping by where he works when I haven’t heard from him since I last saw him 3 weeks ago?” Clarke asked, genuinely concerned about how that might look.

 

  
“Not if he never got your info from that girl. For all we know he’s been looking for you all this time.” Bryan countered.

 

  
“Okay, I guess we could try. Now let’s go to sleep, we have to be up and on the road in 6 hours.” she said as they turned out the lights and went to sleep.

 

\

She couldn’t help feeling like this could finally be the end of the search. She could finally find Bellamy and clear up her leaving so suddenly and not being able to get in contact with him. Maybe, they will have to see what tomorrow holds.

 

 

The next morning, bright and early, Bryan and Clarke were in the Starbucks line half dead before heading for LA. As they started the drive and the caffeine started kicking in, they started getting pumped and ready for the day jamming to every type of music that came across their playlist.

 

Soon, ‘Jump on It’ came on and Clarke froze for a quick second before Bryan looked over and paused. “What? This is OUR Song? What is with you this morning?” he asked confused.

 

  
“Nothing, I just...I made Bellamy dance to this song one morning when we ran into each other at the gym. Just reminded me that I might get to see him again. Push play, we are jamming out to this!” she said with a big smile.

 

  
They continued like that the rest of the way to LA. LA was busy, congested, crowded, full of traffic and buildings and she could see why Bellamy hated it.

 

It was different to visit for a short time, but there would be no way she would enjoy living in this day in and day out. They pulled up to the building with Manning Publishers written on the outside, parked and went in.

 

  
They were greeted by a front desk receptionist, who asked who they were here to see. Clarke gave her Bellamy’s name, and she looked at her confused.

 

  
“I’m so sorry, he doesn’t work here anymore. He finished here and moved this week. You literally just missed him.” she said sadly.

 

  
“Oh, that’s okay. Thank you anyway.” Clarke told her as they left and got back in the car.

 

  
“What are the freaking odds that he would quit and move days before we show up here?” Bryan said befuddled.

 

  
“My odds. My shitty odds, that’s what.” she said exasperated.

 

  
“We can do Disney Tomorrow if you’re not feeling up to it today.” Bryan said sympathetically.

 

“No, I need a good dose of happiness today. We go about our normal plans. This was a long shot anyways. You know, he told me once was an accident, twice was a coincidence, the third time was a pattern and the fourth time was by choice. Maybe he chose not to contact me, or chose to quit trying. Then the fifth time was fate. I guess we’ll never know now.” Clarke said humorlessly.

 

 

They still went to Disney and had an absolute blast! They went on every ride, ate way too much junk food and bought overpriced souvenirs. They spent the rest of their weekend in LA, and Clarke felt a little lighter since she knew he didn’t live there anymore. She wasn’t looking for him around every corner, or whenever a door opened. She just enjoyed her time with my best friend in this new city.

 

  
When they were driving back down to San Diego on Sunday, Clarke told Bryan “Well I can cross LA off of any possible city to live in. That place was nuts! Cool to visit, but that’s about it.”

 

  
“I agree. Any plans on where you might be headed next?” He asked.

 

“I’m going to go see Niylah from School up in Seattle, and then I’ll be back to wandering. Where do you think I should check out?” she asked him.

 

  
“Remember before Anya got Pregnant and we all planned to take that trip to Vancouver in the Fall? Why not go there? You always loved the idea of Vancouver. Scenery, Costal, City, but not over crowded, all 4 seasons, full of green and nature and tons of different types of art scenes. That’s right up your alley and very similar to Boston that you loved so much.” he suggested.

 

  
“I forgot all about Vancouver. That’s not a bad option. And I’ll be in Seattle, so it wouldn’t be out of the way to go check it out.” Clarke thought.

 

 

 

_Meanwhile on the Highway between LA and Vancouver..._

  
**Bellamy:**

  
Bellamy packed up as much of his stuff that would fit in his car, and shipped the rest to  sister.

 

He left LA at 5am on Friday and didn’t look back. He was about half way there when he decided to stop over in Oregon for the remainder of the day and night.

 

He texted Octavia letting her know where he was for the evening and that he would be back on the road bright and early the next morning.

 

Bellamy decided to get his laptop out, and head out to the balcony that overlooked a lake as the spring air was warm and inviting. He has had this story bobbing around in his head for weeks, and he felt like if he just put it on paper then he could clear his head for the other things he needed to work on.

 

It felt weird, writing something so personal about someone else without having the whole story, but it’s not like it would turn into anything, so he wrote:

 

  
_‘She was fierce, a force of nature, both beautiful and strong and all consuming. So how did she end up here, at a hotel bar in Boston alone and keeping the lonely bar keep company? And more importantly how did she capture the undivided attention of the usually oblivious journalist? Her story was a big part of her allure, and after he heard a snip it of it, he was absolutely hooked. She was Athena and he was a goner as soon as he got lost in her Blue eyes...’_

 

  
“God Clarke, you’re in my head. Where the hell are you?” Bellamy said to himself as he continued this story, with no ending in sight.


	19. I watched the Proverbial Sunrise, coming up over the Pacific end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke makes her plans for her next destination, hoping to find the home she has been searching for.

_Back in San Diego..._

  
**Clarke:**

  
Clarke was sitting out on Bryan’s back porch, that backed up to the ocean. A hot cup of tea in her hand and a light blanket thrown around her shoulders as the night air started to chill.

This was such a calming environment, picturesque and she will definitely miss it once she leaves, especially if Bryan decides to move. Speaking of, she heard him open the sliding door and coming out to join her.

  
“I love to come out here and think. It’s incredibly peaceful. What’s on your mind tonight?” he asked her.

  
“Life. Mine up until this point, how I even got to this point. Where I'm going next, if I'll ever find what I’m looking for. If I'll ever feel at home again anywhere, what I’m going to do with my life if I ever do find it. Why does this sound like more than it should be? This is too much for one person to have to figure out on their own.” Clarke said starting to slightly panic at the mountain of the situation that she had been putting off.

  
“Hey, hey Clarke I need you to breathe for me. Deep breaths, come on.” Bryan said leaning over and pulling her head to his shoulder, and wrapping his arm around me. “You’re going to figure this out. You’re Clarke Griffin and you can do anything. You have survived some of the worst things in life and you’re still here. You are a planner and you are panicking because you don’t have a concrete plan right now, and that’s perfectly fine, normal even.”

”You will figure this out too, and you have me and Anya, your Mom and Raven, Hell you even made peace with Finn. You are loved by so many others, and we are here for you just like you’ve been there for all of us.”

  
“You were there for your Mom and Sister when your Dad passed away, you were there when Anya had her first miscarriage, and then when she found out she was pregnant with James. You were there with me when I came out to my Family and they flipped out. You are always trying to take care of everyone, but now it’s time to just take care of yourself. You CAN do this. I promise.” he said as he stuck his pinky out to her, and yes, they still make pinky promises.

  
“What would I do without you? Don’t you just want to come with me? Travel the world together and screw responsibility and normalcy?” She asked him, already knowing his answer.

  
“I still have things to take care of here, and I might be moving on to my own adventure too if all goes well. But as soon as you’re settled, wherever that may be, I'll be there you know that.” he said as he squeezed her shoulder.

  
“I still don’t see how you or anyone else that lives here ever get anything done. I would literally just sit on the beach, or this porch all day and be happy with life.” she told him.

  
“Yes, but we like living here, so somebody has to go to work.” he said teasing her.

  
“Well I’ll be enjoying it for the next 4 days before I head up to Seattle. You know, just in case you decide to move, and I have no reason to come back.”

  
“Or free tour guide.” he teased. “C’mon, it’s been a long day of driving, let’s get to bed.” he said as they stood up and went back into the house for the evening.

 

 

True to her word, Clarke spent the rest of her week in San Diego lounging on the beach, reading on the porch in the evening and going out shopping and to dinner with Bryan.

 

As Thursday approached, she was so sad to be leaving the next morning. From now on, she wasn’t heading to a familiar place with a friend waiting for her. Clarke was truly on her own in a new place, trying to navigate life. It was daunting.

 

As they sat out on the back porch and watched the sunset over the Pacific, she just had to remind herself that this was a good thing. She would need to find her own way on her own now.

  
“I know that look. You will be fine, and I am only a phone call away and so is everyone else you love. Make sure you go on the whale watching tour while you’re up there, do yoga, join a dance gym, sample all the coffee and become a coffee snob, eat your way through the city and have fun!” Bryan said as he refilled their glasses.

  
“I promise I will squeeze every bit of fun out of each city that I visit.” Clarke told him.

  
“Good, so are you open to new possibilities, like love? Or are you still holding out hope that fate will bring the mystery man back?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

  
“Ha. Ha. I didn’t ever expect love to happen for me ever again, and I wouldn’t go as far as to say that the 2 days with Bellamy is love, so I’m not sure. If it happens, it’ll definitely catch me off guard, but no I am not looking for it, not in the romantic way at least.” she explained.

  
“I’m still mad that you didn’t even get a picture of the guy. Didn’t even get to judge him from afar.” he joked.

  
They finished off their last evening drinking wine, playing cards and gossiping about old friends. It was a perfect way to end her stay here in San Diego, well almost.

 

Oh well, it’s on to Seattle.

 

 

Seattle was Beautiful. Very green, coffee filled and unique. Clarke met with an old Culinary Classmate and she showed her all around Seattle.

 

They did all of the touristy things like Pike’s Market and Starbucks Headquarters, The Space Needle and Ferry boat rides. Clarke took all of Bryan’s suggestions and toured the city on her own for a few days as well.

  
Seattle was such a nice place, to visit. Another city, great experiences, but not home. After a week in Seattle it was mid-May and Clarke was ready to move on to the next place.

 

 

  
Clarke arrived in Vancouver on a Wednesday and it was just as beautiful in person as it was online.

 

She rented out a long-term Airbnb for 30 days. She had a list of things too long of things she wanted to see and do there and couldn’t imagine staying there any less.

 

Once she arrived, checked in and unpacked, she FaceTimed her Mom and Raven. She caught them up on Seattle and let them know where she was staying in Vancouver as well as her plans so far while she there.

  
Then she FaceTimed with Bryan and caught him up as well. He was so excited about her finally making it to Vancouver and said he felt like she would fall in love with the place and never want to leave.

 


	20. How far do I have to go to get to you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke explores Vancouver, ticks many boxes on her to-do list, and meets a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I’m so happy to finally introduce Harper! I love that character so much, and unlike the show, she gets PLENTY of lines in this story!

_Meanwhile, across the city..._

  
**Bellamy:**

  
“Hey Murphy, is your neighbor still moving out?” Bellamy said over the phone.

  
“Yeah man, he’s moving his stuff right now actually. You should come over and check it out.” Murphy answered. “I can let him know he has someone interested in taking over his lease, I know he has been stressing over it. It’s still good until next year. I’ll be here when you get here.”

  
“Alright man thanks, I'll head over now. I love my sister and all, but it’s been almost 3 weeks and I am ready for my own space again. I still can’t believe you got your place so fast. It’s a dream location.” he told him.

  
“That’s what you get for not doing it online and waiting around until you got here. I got the last 1 bedroom when I applied. I figured if I got here and hated it in person, I could always tough it out until the end of the lease. By the way, my neighbors place is a 2 bedroom. Would that be an issue?” Murphy explained.

  
“It’s not ideal, especially if I am still out traveling, but I could always turn it into an office or something, maybe get a roommate, I haven’t decided.” Bellamy thought out loud.

  
“Well, you have some time to decide. Buzz when you get here, and I’ll let you in.” and with that they hung up.

 

  
As Bellamy drove over to the apartment near The Museum of Vancouver and Sunset Beach Park, he was just hoping this would work out. It was 3 blocks from the new office, near Downtown and where all of his favorite Parks and Restaurants were within walking distance.

 

Plus, Murphy was living in the same building, and Miller was living a few blocks away. A two-bedroom wasn’t ideal, especially with him traveling as often as he does, but if it was a smaller bedroom he could utilize it as an office space for all the books and projects he has to work on outside of the office.

 

A roommate wouldn’t be the end of the world, but it felt so weird putting an ad out to live with a complete stranger.

  
Once Bellamy made it to the building, he punched in Murphy’s code and headed up in the elevator. Once he reached the 15th floor, he saw the boxes lining the hallway. As Bellamy approached 1523, he heard Murphy talking to his neighbor. “Here he is. Bellamy this is Nick, Nick this is Bellamy. He is interested in possibly taking over your lease.” Murphy explained.

  
“Nice to meet you man. Here let me show you around.” Nick said as they shook hands.

 

“Here is the kitchen and living room. There is a small nook area for a dining table Just off the kitchen. There is a master bedroom with an adjoining bathroom down the hall to the left and the door at the end of the hall is the 2nd bath, with the second bedroom on the far right next to it.”

  
“Rent and Utilities includes Water, Valet Trash and access to all the amenities and an assigned parking space. If you decide to have a second person live here, you can talk to the office about a second assigned spot if you want, or there is the parking garage that is open parking. Do you have any questions?” Nick asked him.

  
“No, that’s pretty straight forward. It’s a great place. What would we need to do to get this finalized?” Bellamy asked.

  
“We could go down to the office right now and transfer the unit to your name and they can go over any specifics with you if you have some time now.” Nick said.

  
“Let’s do it!” Bellamy said, excited to finally stop the apartment search. They headed down to the office to sign all the paperwork and that was that. Nick was going to finish moving his stuff over the next two days and would leave the keys with Murphy when he was finished so Bellamy could start moving in.

 

Bellamy headed back to my sister’s house excited to start packing his stuff so he could move in this weekend.

 

 

 

_Meanwhile on the other side of Downtown Vancouver..._

  
**Clarke:**

  
Clarke was enjoying the view of the bay from the high-rise condo she was renting. The city was so beautiful. She was fully unpacked, and was ready to start on her to-do list.

  
She started with Art Galleries, then the Zoo and Aquarium, Museums, and then she went to a new park 3 times a week. She visited local shops and cafes, and in the evenings she would go find live music, Karaoke, Dance Clubs, Open Mics, or Scheduled Bands.

 

With summer approaching there were concerts and movie nights in the park, festivals and markets on the weekends, and there was a ton of detours and closed streets due to quite a few films and tv shows filming in the area that took some getting used to.

  
It had been 3 weeks of amazing finds and adventures that seemed to pass in a flash. She had about a week left on her rental, and she wondering around to different rentals in the area to check out the neighborhoods and locals.

 

Between Burnaby, Yaletown, West End and Eastside, Vancouver had so many different areas for all different types of people and interests.

 

  
She walked into one of her favorite cafes one morning, and ran into Harper. She met her at a dance class she walked into her first week here and they hit it off with how out of rhythm we both felt in the beginning.

 

Harper had been a huge help in helping Clarke find local treasures to checkout, especially when it came to food. They started having coffee after dance practice twice a week and then started going out to karaoke and night clubs to go dancing together on the weekends.

 

It was nice to have someone local to experience these things with for the first time. “Hey Clarke! I’m so glad I ran into you. I just saw a new gym open on the south side of town yesterday and it’s free for the first 30 days and they have heels and Zumba dance classes too! I was going to check it out, and wanted to know if you wanted to come with me?” Harper asked.

  
“That sounds awesome! When do you want to go?” Clarke asked as she placed her coffee order and stood to the side to wait with Harper.

  
“I was thinking tomorrow. Are you busy on Wednesdays?” she asked.

  
“No, I was wanting to make it out to that side of town to check out the area.” Clarke said as they grabbed their drinks and headed for a table by a window.

  
“Does that mean you are staying longer?” Harper asked excited.

  
“I mean, I really like it here, I know it’s only been 3 weeks, but I really have no complaints about Vancouver. I just need to figure out if I want to stay, where would be the best place.” Clarke told her.

  
“My boyfriend and I just put an offer in on a house, otherwise I would totally room with you! We spend a ton of time together anyway. Plus, your cooking would save my life!” she reminded her.

  
“Monty is a lucky guy, and thankfully he can cook so you won’t both starve.” Clarke teased her.

  
“So, what is stopping you from making it official? Is something holding you back from taking the plunge and moving here full time? Or someone?” Harper inquired.

  
“No, I guess it’s just a feeling. I know that sounds crazy, but I've been waiting for some clarity and calming feeling. A feeling of home, and not just an infatuation with a new city that will wear off before totally committing. I’ve just been trying to enjoy myself, and see what happens. I don’t want to change my mind in a month or 6 months because I rushed the decision. I can extend my rental on a week by week basis, so I’m not on a time crunch right now.” Clarke told her.

  
“Well, if I counts for anything, I think Vancouver loves you too and we would be happy if you stayed.” Harper said with a wide smile.

  
“That means a whole batch of chocolate chip cookies worth.” Clarke said winking at her. They started using food analogies to express themselves after that first dance class.

  
“Good! I will see you tomorrow at this new gym. I’ll text you the address. Is 4pm good?” Harper asked as they got up to leave and go their separate ways.

  
“Sounds good. See you then!” then Clarke headed for the beach. It was the first full week of June by now and even though it wasn’t Texas Hot, it was still nice and warm out enough to enjoy laying out with a good book.


	21. Just two ships, passing in the night.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Harper try out a new gym, but someone else has too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m excited to add a new POV from Miller! I know it’s been torturous but these two are getting closer to finding one another...

_Meanwhile on the Southside of Vancouver..._

  
**Bellamy:**

  
Bellamy has been in his new place for about 3 weeks and they still had a good 6 weeks before they opened the new office, so he spent his days writing, researching and unpacking.

 

Murphy and Nate have dragged him out to all of the local bars and night life in their area just to get him out of the Apartment.

 

He was doing better now that it was summer about going out to the park or the beach to work, and get some sunlight and fresh air. It was proving to help with the creative juices, when he wasn’t getting distracted by all the people roaming around.

  
Bellamy’s phone rang when he was watching a few dogs race for a Frisbee “I’m not sitting at home, if that’s why you’re calling.” he said in leu of a greeting.

  
“Partially, but I’m actually going to this new gym today and wanted to know if you wanted to come along and check it out. It’s only a couple of blocks from your apartment.” Nate asked.

  
“I’m in the middle of a writing spree and I don’t want to lose momentum, maybe another time.” Bellamy said making an excuse.

  
“Alright, but we are still checking out that pub in Yaletown tonight. No excuses, I'll see you tonight.” with that he hung up.

  
Well, he might as well try to actually get some writing done, since he won’t be getting a chance to tonight. He pulled his laptop open and pulled up the untitled document.

 

  
_“I was completely captured with every part of her, and couldn’t resist facing my fear of crowds and headed towards the stage. I picked up a guitar and told the band the song I was preparing to sing. I was focused on her and her only, to even notice anyone else staring at me and listening along. Once the song ended, I made a beeline for her. I took her hand and leaned in the finally kiss her, the moment was perfect, it was killing me to hold back. As soon as we were a breath apart someone called out my name, and the spell was broken.”_

 

  
He was never going to finish any of his assignments at this rate. Every time he got stuck, he would pull up their story and write until he felt that blockade lift. He just wished he knew that this story could continue, because he wasn’t ready for it to end as soon as it began.

 

 

  
_On the Northside of Vancouver..._

  
**Clarke:**

  
Clarke was getting changed and then headed down stairs to meet Harper so they could head over to Nash Fitness together.

 

Once they arrived, there were a large amount of people there. Not every machine was taken, but it was pretty close.

 

They decided to take a Zumba class first, then they could hit the juice bar for a cool down and then maybe by that time there would be some more machines open for them to use.

 

  
Zumba was a blast. They had an Ari G playlist and it was hilarious since Harper and Clarke were more into singing than learning the dance moves, but they managed.

 

After that hour, they hit the juice bar for a cool off. “So, this would be a fun place to come to more often, you should look around this area for a place. This is a little more of a younger crowd, less suburbia so lots to do as a young single. Plus, this gym has attracted some hotties.” Harper said looking around the gym from their table top.

  
“We aren’t here looking for hotties, we are here to work out.” Then they both busted out laughing.

 

 

_Across the gym floor..._

  
**Nate:**

  
Nate was hopping off the treadmill and paused his playlist, when he heard it.

 

That laugh seemed a little familiar. He looked around but didn’t see anyone he knew.

 

As he was walking out of the gym, he passed the window when he saw a girl sitting at the juice bar that looked so familiar, but he couldn’t figure out why so he left to shower before meeting Murphy and Bellamy for Dinner.

 

 

  
Once he was almost home, it hit him. That laugh, that girl. She looked just like Bellamy’s  girl from Boston. Clarke.

 

But there was no way, what would she be doing in Vancouver? Plus, her hair was shorter and lighter than he remembered Clarke’s being from that night, although girls change their hair often.

 

He thought he might maybe see her again at the gym and see if it was her for sure. He wasn’t sure if I should tell Bellamy that he thought he saw her here, because he would hate to get his hopes up.

 

No matter what he says, he hasn’t given up on her, and Nate can almost swear he’s writing something for her too.

 

 

 

_Back at the gym..._

  
**Clarke:**

  
The girls finally got up from their table and headed over to the machines. Once they hopped on the treadmills, Clarke noticed the side of someone's face passing by and then just the back of their head as the headed down the street.

 

He looked familiar, but she couldn’t place him so she just forgot about it and Harper and her continued their workout.

 

 

  
Once Clarke got back to the Condo, she showered, and ordered in from a great Thai place down the street. She didn’t feel like moving after that workout and a hot shower. Once the food arrived, she decided to call Raven.

  
“Hey Stranger. You still alive?” oh Raven, ever the comedian.

  
“Yes, currently having dinner and scrolling Netflix. How are you, make a move on Wick yet?” Clarke said teasing.

  
“No, he still keeps trying to mansplain things to me, that I know far more about than he does. What about you, any luck on the Mystery Man?” she asked.

  
“No, but I really like Vancouver. I might start look into places live even, but...” Clarke trailed off.

  
“But, what?”

  
“I just haven’t gotten that 100% feeling that this is where I’m supposed to be. That this is home. I don’t even know what that will be, but I feel like I haven’t experienced it just yet.” she explained.

  
“Are you waiting for the heavens to open up and shine down on you, or a bolt of lightning or something?” Raven said sarcastically.

  
“No, just...I want to feel like I'm at home here before committing.”

  
“Okay, well don’t rush it then. This is the longest you’ve stayed in one place so far, so maybe that should tell you something. I love you and will talk to you later. Make sure you let us know when you decide or have your life altering epiphany or whatever.”

  
“Ha. Ha. I’ll talk to you later. Love you.” Clarke said as they hung up and she decide on the Great British Bake Off and settled in for a quiet night.

 

 

 

_That night in Yale town..._

  
**Nate:**

  
Nate walked into the Pub and went right over to where Murphy was sitting. “Hey man, where’s Bellamy?” he asked.

  
“He’s on his way, should be here any minute.” Murphy explained.

  
“I need to tell you something, and I don’t think we should tell Bellamy.” Nate told him.

  
“I’m listening, what’s up?”

  
“I saw this girl as I was leaving the Gym today, and I swear to you it was Clarke. From Boston. I would’ve gone back to make sure, but I didn’t realize why she looked so familiar until I was almost home.” Nate told him.

  
“Did she see you? Recognize you?” Murphy asked impatiently.

  
“No, I was outside and walking by the window when I saw her, I don’t think she saw me.” Nate said.

  
“Well, you’re right. We can’t tell him. He will go nuts if he even thinks there is a possibility that she’s here in Vancouver. You think she might go back to the gym?” he asked.

  
“I don’t know, but I’m hoping I might catch her again and see if it’s actually her or not, but I don’t know if she’ll be back or if we would be there at the same time. It was just the strangest thing, and I didn’t want to tell him just yet.”

  
“Tell me what?” Crap, Bellamy.

  
“That you missed some pretty girls at that new gym he went to today.” Murphy recovered.

  
“Yeah, cause that’s the best reason to go to the gym.” Bellamy said sarcastically.

  
“You never know who you might meet.” Nate said with a sly smile.


	22. May Angels lead you home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke takes to running to find clarity, and she finds so much more than just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I’m a sucker for a Clarke and Murphy Friendship.
> 
> Just one more step to finding what she’s been searching for.

_Back on the Northside..._

  
**Clarke:**

  
Clarke woke up and decided to go for a jog today, since she and Harper went to the gym yesterday they were skipping todays dance class, and Clarke wanted to make sure she kept some kind of schedule consistency.

 

Stanley park was a couple of miles away, so she thought that the walk over would be a good warm up before running the trail along the lake.

  
She put her ear buds in and started on her journey. By the time she entered the park, her playlist had hit the upbeat section, and her blood was pumping from the warm up.

 

She started with a light jog, about 20 minutes in my playlist change and a song she thought she took off of her phone started with the intro music.

 

It was the song her and Wells had their first dance to as Husband and Wife, but she couldn’t bring herself to change it. As the song continued, she slowed down from a jog to a brisk walk.

 

Clarke could feel her heart beating fast and her breaths coming in shallow and quick.  
She was hit with nostalgia as well as comfort and peace in her surroundings, and that’s when it hit her like a ton of bricks.

 

It was officially time to really let go, move on, live life and not just say it anymore.

 

  
Vancouver had given her so much more than just experiences and fun, it gave her a sense of clarity, comfort and home. This was the feeling she was searching for.

 

It all came to head at one time and she rushed down to the beach and sat on a bench to catch her breath.

 

She couldn’t get it under control. She tried closing her eyes with her head between her legs and tried to focus on her breathing.

 

It had been something she had been looking for, for almost a year and a half, and after everywhere she’s been, everything she’s seen and done, she finally found it.

 

It was like making it to the top of the mountain, so satisfying but so painful at the end of the journey, but she finally felt like she could breathe again.

 

  
Before she knew it, someone had sat in front of her and was mumbling something to her while placing their hands gently on her shoulders.

 

Once she took out her earphones, Clarke noticed that they were telling her to take deep breaths. They must have noticed her having a bit of a panic attack and came over to help.

 

  
When she looked up to thank the stranger, she was confused by who she found there.

 

  
“Murphy?”

 

 

 

_On a Bench in Stanley Park..._

  
**Murphy:**

  
Murphy decided to head over to Stanley Park for the day to get some fresh air, and get some writing done. He loved being outside as much as he could, since most of his job required him to sit inside and stare at a screen most of the time.

 

  
He had just sat down on a bench under a tree overlooking the water when he saw someone rush to a bench on the beach and put their head down quickly. They seemed to be having a hard time breathing judging by the quick movement of their back and shoulders.

 

He watched for a minute, and when they didn’t slow down, he approached carefully to assess if this person was okay, or if they were having an asthma attack or something.

 

  
Murphy crouched down slowly and put his hands gently on her shoulders, and he told her to take deep breaths and to follow his breathing. He didn’t notice that she had earphones in, until she reached up and pulled them out to hear what he was saying to her.

 

Once her breathing calmed down a bit, she looked up at him and the surprise on her face must have mirrored his.

  
“Murphy?” she said in almost disbelief.

  
“Holy Shit. Clarke? You’re here? What the Hell!” He said shocked and ecstatic at the same time.

 

  
She reached out and hugged him. “Thank you! I have no idea what came over me, it was a happy thing, but the panic attack still came on out of nowhere.” a pause then it hit her, “OH MY GOD! MURPHY! You’re here, in Vancouver! What are you doing here?!” she asked as the shock came over her.

  
“I work here now. Actually...” then he paused, because instead of telling her about Bellamy, he thought he would have some fun first. “Nate is here too. He swore he saw you at this new gym on southside earlier this week, but wasn’t sure until after he left. He was hoping to catch you to see what happened to you in Boston, you were there and then just ‘poof’.” Murphy told her.

  
“I knew he looked familiar! Yeah, after we got back to the hotel, I feel asleep and then got a notification early that morning about my flight being the same time I was supposed to meet Bellamy for breakfast, and I didn’t have his room number to go and tell him goodbye. I wrote him a note with my name and number and explaining why I had to leave so early, and I waited in the lobby as long as I could before I had to leave, then I went to leave the note with the front desk agent to give him when he came downstairs, but one of your co-workers overheard and said she would make sure he got it. After I didn’t hear from him after the first week, I figured either he wasn’t interested or never got the note and he doesn’t seem to existed on social media, so I was at a loss. I even went to the Publishing Company he said he worked for when I was in LA last month, and they told me he had left and moved that same week, so I figured maybe it wasn’t meant to be.” she said sadly.

  
“The girl you gave the note to, did you get her name?” Murphy asked.

  
“Roma, she seemed nice and genuine, but after I left, I felt like maybe he would never see that note.” she stated.

  
“Oh, I can guarantee you that he never saw it. He tried to find you for weeks, all he had was your first name and last name and couldn’t find you anywhere online. He must not be the only one who avoids social media.” Murphy told her.

  
“I have Instagram. I deleted all of my social media a year and a half ago, but made a new one once I started traveling, so I could keep my family and close friends up to date on my whereabouts. It was easier that way, and I never told him my last name, so maybe that’s why he couldn’t find me.” she explained.

  
“The hotel told him your name was Clarke Jaha, so that’s what he was constantly searching for.” he informed her.

  
“That’s why he never found me. Jaha was my married name, so my legal documents for the airline still had that name when they checked me into the hotel. I changed it back to my maiden name, and that’s what my social media is under. Clarke Griffin.” she said, sticking her hand out like she was meeting him for the first time.

  
“Nice to meet you, again Clarke Griffin. So, again, what are you doing here? As in Vancouver.” He asked hurriedly.

  
“I think I live here now.” she said a little stunned, “I’ve been here for 4 weeks, and it’s the longest I've stayed anywhere. I think I finally found my home, and that panic attack you witnessed was more of an epiphany than an actual attack. I’m finally ready to call somewhere home, and that somewhere is here. I’m staying in a rental on the Northside near the harbor, but I need to find a long-term solution and I really like the southside, but I haven’t seen any openings yet.” she went on to say.

  
“How do you feel about a roommate? I know someone in that area looking for a roommate. I could show you the place, and you two could meet, see if it’s something you want.” Murphy suggested.

  
“Really?! That would be AMAZING! When could I see the place? The place I am staying is really nice, but a little far from where everything I love the most is, and it’s week by week, so something more permanent would be ideal.” she said.

  
“How about you meet me at my place at 5pm today and I can take you over to see the place and see what you think? Let me see your phone, and I’ll put in my number and address. Just text my when you get there and I’ll buzz you in.” He said taking her phone and putting in his information.

  
“Thanks Murphy. I am so glad I ran into you. I’m going to head back and clean up. I’ll see you later today!” and with that, she was up and jogging back the way she came, and He was sitting on her bench stunned.

  
Then he pulled out his phone and made a call, “Dude, you need to get to my place. I found Clarke!” Murphy said as a greeting.

  
“Are you serious?! She’s really here? We have to call Bellamy!” Nate said on the other end.

  
“Oh, no you don’t. I have an even better idea. Meet me at my place in an hour, and don’t you dare say a word to Bellamy.” Murphy told him.

  
“Alright, I'm interested in whatever this plan is, and if it goes south, I’m on the record saying we should’ve told him immediately.” he argued.

  
“Trust me, you won’t want to miss this.” Murphy assured him and hung up.


	23. Fate is kind. She brings to those who love sweet fulfillment.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy cooks up a fun scheme, but our two lovers finally reunite, so it’s all okay!

_Back on the Northside of Vancouver..._

  
**Clarke:**

  
Clarke couldn’t believe her luck running into Murphy today. As much as she wanted to ask if he had heard from Bellamy, or knew where he was now and how she could get in touch with him, she figured it could wait for another time.

 

He was helping her out by setting her up to meet his friend that was looking for a roommate, and she was too grateful to bombard him with questions about his former coworker right off the bat.

 

  
She showered, put on a pair of white shorts, an off the should seersucker flowy top and some tan sandals, while she styled her hair in short beach waves. It was a total laid-back summer look, that could easily pass as a night out outfit as well. It was 4:15, so she figured she would head over.

 

It was about 4 miles away, and Clarke had gotten used to walking in the city. It was nice and sunny outside, not too warm and just a good afternoon for a walk.

 

  
She arrived at the very tall building, double checked the address and then sent a text to Murphy. He responded that he was running a little late, but would be there soon.

 

She caught the door when someone was coming out and headed for the elevators. He said his floor was 15 and he was at the end of the hall on the right, 1524.

 

  
Clarke got to his door and decided to take a seat in the hallway and wait for him to show up. She was a bit early anyways, so she didn’t mind waiting.

 

 

 

_Earlier inside Apartment 1524..._

  
**Murphy:**

  
“Alright, I'm here, what’s the plan?” Nate asked as he came through the front door.

 

  
“I told her to meet me here at 5pm, because I had a friend looking for a roommate, and she is looking for a place in the area. She’s been here for 4 weeks, renting some condo week to week just north of downtown, but now she’s looking to move here permanently.” Murphy told him, hoping he would catch on.

 

  
“And?” Nate answered.

 

  
“It’s Thursday afternoon, where is Bellamy?” Murphy asked frustrated.

 

  
“The grocery store, why does that matter?” Nate asked.

 

  
“Because, we are going to stay in here, very quietly, she is going to show up outside my door around the same time he usually gets home from the store, and BAM! Instant reunion that we get to witness. I’ll tell her I'm running late so she doesn’t knock on my door and then leave when I don’t answer.” Murphy said spelling it out for him.

 

  
“So, does he cry tears of joy, sputter like an idiot in shock, or just completely ignore her because he’s oblivious?” Nate asked amused.

 

  
“I go with all of the above, grab a beer, we are in for a show today!” Murphy said as they clinked their bottles together.

 

  
“Wait, roommate? You really think they will live together after one weekend of knowing each other, and then searching for the last two months for one another?” Nate said skeptically.

 

  
“People move in with strangers that answer their ad online all the time. At least they know enough about each other to want to use every resource to find the other one.” Murphy said simply.

 

  
This was going to be really entertaining and fairytale like, or a total shit show, here goes nothing.

 

  
As soon as Clarke texted him telling him she was there, early, Nate and Murphy setup quietly and Murphy told her he would be late, but she could go up to the 15th floor and he would be on his way.

 

Bellamy should be home any minute.

 

 

 

 

_Outside of 1524, sitting in the hallway..._

  
**Clarke:**

  
Clarke was scrolling through her phone, sitting outside of Murphy’s apartment waiting for him to come home and show her to his friends place that was looking for a roommate.

 

She was too busy watching a food video to notice the elevator ding. She heard footsteps walk towards her, but before she looked up, she heard a crash.

 

Clarke saw paper bags fallen on the floor, and when her eyes travelled up to see the person who dropped them, her heart stopped.

 

Staring back at her with wide eyes of surprise, dark curly hair, tan skin with freckles that seemed to multiply with the summer was the man she had been looking for, for over 2 months standing in front of her with his mouth slightly opened in shock.

 

“Clarke?” he said barely above a whisper. “Is that really you?” he asked as he slowly moved toward me, like if he wasn’t careful, I would disappear.

  
“Oh my God, Bellamy? You’re here!” Clarke said jumping up from the floor and running into his embrace.

 

He took a second, but then his arms were wrapped around her tight as he lifted her off of the ground. 

 

“How did you find me? I’ve been looking for you ever since you left Boston. I just can’t believe that you’re really here.” he said into her ear. He sat her down, but didn’t let her pull away as he waited for an answer.

 

  
“I left you a note with my name and number and message about why I had to leave so soon, but I didn’t have your room number, and a girl that said she worked with you said she would make sure you got it, after talking to Murphy, I realized that you never got it. I tried looking for you, but you don’t have social media grandpa. I was in LA last month and I went to your Publishing Company, but they said you had moved that week.” she explained.

  
“What are the freaking chances?! I searched for you too, but never found anything. Wait, you saw Murphy? When?!” he asked alarmed.

  
“Yeah, the reason you couldn’t find me is because I went back to my maiden name and that’s what my social media is under, and I ran into Murphy just earlier today. We ran into each other at Stanley Park, or rather he came to my rescue while I was having a mix between a panic attack and an epiphany and was having a hard time breathing. I finally found my home here in Vancouver, and the wandering is over.” she told him shyly.

  
“Are you serious?! You’re staying?!” he asked and she shook her head yes, then he broke out that bright beautiful smile and told her, “I left LA because we are opening an office here next month, so I came earlier to move and finish some projects. I was assigned to come here with Nate and Murphy. We have more freedom to stay in one place, and take whatever assignments we want and if and how much we want to travel. Wait, when did you get here? How long have you been in Vancouver?” he asked altogether.

  
“4 weeks. After Boston, I spent 2 weeks in Michigan, 2 weeks in San Diego, a week in Seattle, and then the last 4 weeks here in Vancouver, just 4 miles north of here actually.” she told him.

  
“For the last 2 months we haven’t been able to find each other, and the last month we have literally been only 4 miles apart and never knew it? What are the odds?” he asked amused.

  
“My shitty odds.” Clarke said with a shrug.

  
“I think I see those odds changing in your favor in the very near future.” he said as he leaned his forehead down to hers.

  
“Thank God!” She said as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

  
“Never leave again, at least not without me knowing your name and how to find you.” he whispered.

  
“Clarke Griffin.” she said with a playful wink, “And you can find me here in Vancouver, possibly at this place Murphy is going to show me today. He said he has a friend looking for a roommate, so we are going to check it out when he gets here.” Clarke told him.

  
“Roommate? Who does he know that needs a roommate?” he asked confused.

  
Just then the door to Murphy’s apartment opened, and the devil himself with Nate walked out with a fake surprised look on his face.

  
“Ahh I see you two have met. Clarke, this is the friend of mine that is looking for a roommate, and the place is right behind you. 1523.” he said with a sadistic smirk,

  
“What?!” both Bellamy and Clarke said in unison.

  
“Bellamy has been looking for a roommate, but didn’t feel comfortable with any of the strangers he has interviewed, and Clarke is looking for a place to live in this part of town. You’re welcome, the both of you.” he said with his arms stretched out proudly.

  
“Umm, Murphy maybe you should have asked Bellamy about this first, or at least told him I was here?” Clarke suggested.

  
“Oh no, this was way more fun. He has been moping around for the last 2 months, it was my turn to have some fun and spark joy!” Murphy exclaimed.

  
“Dude, I told you you’ve got to lay off the Marie Kondo.” Nate said from behind him. “Clarke, it’s good to see you again, and for the record I told him this was a bad idea.”

  
“I do have the space, and you are looking for a place. If you want, you could come take a look and see if it would be a good fit.” Bellamy said suddenly.

  
“Are you sure? I’m not much more familiar than any stranger you’ve interviewed.” she told him.

  
“You’re 28, Non-smoking Female, Certified Pastry Chef, from Texas originally, Mom and Sister and one of the most unique and amazing people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting.” he said as he looked down at her sweetly.

  
“29 now actually. Okay, if you’re sure, I would love to see your place.” Clarke finally said.

  
“He’s been waiting months to hear that.” Murphy mumbled.

  
“Shut up, Murphy.” they said at the same time.

  
Nate smacked him on the arm. “They are right, and possibly the same person. I’m impressed and a little scared.” he said joking.

  
“Well, right this was madam. You two idiots want to go for dinner afterwards?” Bellamy asked.

  
“I think we will let you two catch up. How about tomorrow night? Clarke, you free then?” Nate asked.

  
“I am, I will see ya’ll tomorrow.” Clarke said as they waved and shut the door to Murphys apartment.

“Lead the way sir.” she said to Bellamy, and they entered 1523 together.


	24. You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These two try to navigate if it’s possible to be friends, roommates, lovers, or maybe all three?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just going to get repetitive, so I’ll just say this for the next few chapters.
> 
> I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THESE TWO!

Once they were inside, Bellamy started pointing out all of the rooms.

  
“This is the living area here to the right, the kitchen here on the left. The balcony right off the living room, and then my room is the door on the left, the second bathroom is at the end of the hall, and the second bedroom is right next to it on the right. I have it set up as an office right now, but I was planning on moving that to the dining nook right off of the kitchen when someone moved in. Go have a look, and let me know if you have any questions.” he said by way of explaining, then headed to the kitchen to put away the groceries he had previously dropped outside.

 

Clarke had a ton of questions, but the room wasn’t one of them. She walked in and saw a small desk and bookshelf filled with books and notes. It had a beautiful double window that overlooked the park nearby.

 

She stood there and thought about how this would work. On the one hand she was so happy to have found Bellamy again. But living together? How would that work? They definitely both having feelings for one another, so would it be wise to move in together and get to know each other that way? What would happen if they tried and it didn’t work as roommates, would it ruin a potential relationship? If it became a relationship and didn’t work out, would they be able to live together or would she have to move out? This could all get really complicated really fast if they weren’t careful.

 

  
Clarke made her way back out to the main area and saw him sitting out on the balcony with the door opened and 2 wine glasses sitting on a small table. “So, what do you think?” he asked with a smile.

 

  
“It’s a great place, the room is perfect, but I have some questions that aren’t exactly rent related.” She said as she sat across from him.

 

  
He put his glass down, and gave her his undivided attention.

 

  
“I may be over reaching here, but it seems like we both have non-roommate feelings for one another, I mean we have been trying to find each other for the last two months. Correct me if I'm wrong, but do you think moving in together would work out with this situation?” Clarke asked honestly.

 

  
“You’re not over reaching, Clarke. I was going crazy trying to find you. Trying to convince myself you didn’t just ghost me and that I would find you again one day. I haven’t felt what I feel for you, well, ever. It’s scary how well we fit. We know so much about the other that takes most people months or even years to find out. I like you Clarke, I really do, and I want to give us a shot if you do. I also need a roommate and you need a place to live. We could get to know each other better together, and there is always a chance that it could not work out, but life isn’t worth living if you don’t take a risk. It’s what lead us to one another to begin with.” he said as he picked up her hand from the table and held it in his.

 

  
“Do you really think we can work as roommates, when we have obvious and acknowledged feelings for one another too?” she asked.

 

  
“I do. We can set some ground rules to start with, so we don’t get too ahead of ourselves. Start as friends and get to know each other better, live as roommates and let things grow from there. What do you say?” he looked at her.

 

  
“What kind of rules?” she said smiling back at him.

 

  
“Is that a yes?” he asked excitedly.

 

  
“I think so.” she said squeezing his hand. “So, these rules. What are you thinking?” she asked.

 

  
“Well, how about sleeping in our own rooms to start with, and clothes must be worn in the common space.” he listed.

 

  
“You make it a habit of walking around naked?” Clarke teased him.

 

  
“No, I usually have at least boxers on.” he laughed.

 

  
“Good to know. How about we keep touching to a minimum just to start out, hugs and such are good, but we should probably hold off on cuddling or kissing until we figure this out.” she suggested.

 

  
“Worried you won’t be able to keep your hands off me?” he said with a smirk.

 

  
“Well isn’t someone cocky?” she shot back.

 

  
“No, just...observant.” he said with a wink. “No bringing Randoms back to the apartment. I’m fine taking things slow, but I don’t think I can handle it if you bring another guy back here.” he said honestly.

 

  
“I agree. So split rent, utilities and groceries?” Clarke suggested.

 

  
“Sounds good to me. Can I suggest something else? Like 1 night a week set aside for Roommate/Date night?” he asked hesitantly.

 

  
“Roommate/Date Night?” Clarke repeated.

 

  
“Yeah, I mean I want to get to know you as a friend and be able to talk things out and catch up as roommates, but I also really want to go out with you and spend time with you and get to know you as, not a friend or roommate.” he said with a small smile.

 

  
“So, is Roommate/Date night 1 night or 2 separate nights?” she asked coyly.

 

  
“2 separate nights, if that’s okay with you. I don’t want to take up all of your free time, but I don’t want to talk about bills or grocery shopping on a date either.” he explained.

 

  
“Well, then you have yourself a deal.” I said sticking my hand out to his. “When would I be able to move in?” she asked.

 

  
“Would tomorrow be too soon?” he said with a smile.

 

  
“I have to renew Saturday or checkout, so I can start moving stuff in tomorrow. I have some stuff that my sister will ship when I’m ready, but I do need to go furniture shopping for a bed and probably a dresser for my cloths.” she explained.

 

  
“Well me and the guys can help you deliver the furniture to your room and help put it together for you. Have whatever you want shipped when you are ready. Do you need help with the stuff you have?” he asked.

 

  
“No, it’s just my suitcases I’ve been traveling with for the last few months. Should be an easy transition, so maybe we can get furniture on Saturday?” Clarke asked.

 

  
“We are at your service.”

 

  
“Shouldn’t we maybe ask them first?”

 

  
“Those two knew you were here and set this whole thing up, they are helping us.” he said laughing. “Would you like to stay for dinner? There is a great pizza place that delivers around here.” Bellamy offered.

 

  
“I would love to, does this count as a roommate night or a date night?” Clarke asked teasing him as he walked over to grab his phone off of the coffee table.

 

  
He walked back over to her, grabbed her hands and pulled her to stand up, then leaned down and kissed her. “Neither, you don’t live here yet, so the rules don’t take effect just yet.”

 

  
Once she caught her breath, Clarke looked up at him, “Well, in that case...” she trailed off as she reached back up to kiss him, longer than the last, but just as good as she remembered from that night at the bar in Boston the first time.

 

  
They stood on his balcony as the sun started setting, wine and ordering pizza long forgotten and they just got lost in each other, in finally finding the other one, and jumping into this new adventure together.

 

 

“Stay.” he said softly. Evening turned to night as they finally broke apart and decided to headed back inside the apartment.

 

  
“I have to go back and get my stuff and checkout tomorrow, if we are really going to do this.” Clarke reminded him.

 

  
“We never even got that dinner I offered.” he said with a shy smile. “Pizza is probably closed by now, but there is always Chinese that delivers this late.” he said looking at the clock, showing it was almost midnight. “And there is no way I'm letting you go back this late by yourself.” he said finally.

 

  
“You aren’t going to make this rule thing any easier, are you?” Clarke said laughing. “Compromise? You come with me back to the Condo, we have food delivered and I’ll pack up while we wait. Then in the morning we can bring everything over here?” she suggested.

 

  
“Deal. There is nothing in the rules that says we can’t sleep in another room together.” Bellamy said wiggling his eyebrows.

 

  
“Go grab some clothes, and I’ll call delivery to the condo for us when we get there.” she told him as she playfully shoved him towards his room.

 

They got into his SUV and headed towards the Condo Clarke was staying in.

 

When they got upstairs, opened the door and flipped the lights on, “Screw our Apartment, let’s move in here! Look at that view!” he said walking over to the large window in the living room.

 

  
“Hey, I like your apartment. This one is so cold and... corporate? Yours feels more like a real home.” Clarke told him.

 

  
“Ours. It’s your home now too.” he reminded her with a smile. He walked over to her and put his hands on her waist, “Our last night not being roommates, no rules like not sleeping in the others room. Sure you don’t want to back out now?” he said teasingly.

 

  
“I have self-control, are you sure you want some strange girl moving into your space?” Clarke shot back with a raised eyebrow.

 

  
Bellamy leaned in really close, and then there was a knock on the door announcing their food delivery. “Damn, can a guy catch a break?” he mumbled.

 

  
She couldn’t help but laugh, “Saved by the bell.” Clarke said winking back at him as she opened the door and collected their food.

 

  
They moved over to the couch and ate right out of the cartons, and put the Office on Netflix in the background.

 

Once they finished and cleaned up all the trash, Clarke turned to Bellamy, “The bathroom is right through the bedroom there. I’m going to start packing up all the stuff out here, and then I’ll get the bedroom packed up before we head to bed.” she said casually.

 

  
Once he disappeared into the bedroom, Clarke let the biggest smile take over her face.

 

 

 

_In the next room..._

  
**Bellamy:**

  
When Bellamy woke up this morning, he thought he knew exactly how this day was going to go.

 

It was Thursday, which meant he was going to have a cup of coffee, head to the park for some writing and a light jog, then go home, lunch, laundry, grocery shopping, dinner then bed.

 

He had never imagined that the Woman he had been searching for, for months would be sitting right outside his apartment.

 

She was as beautiful as he remembered. She had a glow about her, and when she smiled, she could make anyone else around her feel her happiness. When she spoke, he wanted to tune out the entire world around him and listen to her every word.

 

She spoke from pain and truth, from experiences and hope for things to come. She was inspirational to him. Her mind and soul were just as beautiful as she was.

 

He couldn’t believe he had lived his entire life so far without someone like this, He felt like he had been robbed of the last 33 years after meeting her.

 

  
He went into the bathroom and got ready for bed. They haven’t really discussed what they are now, they did discuss what they wanted, how they felt, but nothing pertaining to titles, what they call themselves or what to tell others.

 

He wanted her to feel comfortable and at home, and he would never want to put her in a position where she felt she was being asked for more than she was ready for. Bellamy was completely at her mercy on what she wanted, and he wouldn’t want it any other way.

 

Things and People this special are worth waiting for, worth fighting for and absolutely worth making exceptions to the norm for.

 

  
When he finished up, he headed back to the main area seeing if she needed any help packing, two sets of hands would make the work quicker, and one more step closer to them being together. “Need any help?” He offered as she was folding clothes while sitting on the couch.

 

  
“Sure, I'd love some. If you want to fold that stack of towels and put them in the bathroom, I’ll finish up my clothes and get them in my bags.” she directed.

 

  
As they sat there folding laundry, it felt so domestic, comfortable and right. Bellamy looked over a towel at her and just stopped and stared. She looked over at him and just started laughing, “What? Is there food on my face or something?”

 

  
“Not at all. I was just thinking about how my day was going along as mundane as usual, and then you just appeared. Perfect timing too. I’m just glad it’s ending much better than I could have ever imagined.” he said honestly.

 

  
“I had no idea laundry was so enlightening.” she joked.

 

  
“Laundry, Dishes, whatever it is as long as you’re going to be here, I'll be thrilled.” he told her.

 

  
She blushed, and looked down while biting her bottom lip. When she looked back up at him, she had a look of... adoration maybe? “You are going to have to tone down that charm of yours, if this is ever going to work.” she said with a shy smile.

 

  
“Charm? What are you even referring to?” he asked mock confused.

 

  
“Don’t even, you are very charming and you know it.” she said back.

 

  
“You think that is charming? No, that is just an honest statement, now if I were pull up a song on my playlist,” Bellamy started scrolling for a song.

 

“Then I walked over to you,” the music started filling the apartment.

 

“Then I held your hands and pulled you up to dance with me like we did in Boston, like this,” he walked over to her and pulled her up to dance.

 

“Now, this could be considered charming.” he said with a smile as they started keeping in time with ‘Iris’ like they had in the bar that night months ago.

 

  
“You seem to have extensive knowledge on the subject, which would make you some sort of expert it would seem.” she said smiling up at him.

 

  
“Little Sister, lots of Rom Coms she always made us watch, and writing love stories for others for years may have given my knowledge a bit of a boost.” he said by way of explaining.

 

  
“Hard to believe you haven’t been taken off the market yet, with moves like this.” She said looking right into his eyes.

 

  
“I was young and dumb for a very long time, by the time I realized what I really wanted in a partner in life, I was in a relationship with someone who didn’t want the same things. By the time that ended I was so engrossed with work, and then I met this enigma of a woman that pretty much consumed all of my thoughts, knowing no one could ever come close to her for as long as I roamed this earth.” Bellamy told her, wanting her to know how in this he is. How much he want to be in her life, whatever way she would let him.

 

  
“Shit,” she whispered as she leaned her forehead onto his chest. “You can’t tell me stuff like that, and expect me to be able to be platonic roommates with you starting tomorrow.” she said with a small laugh.

 

  
“Hey,” Bellamy said as he put his finger under her chin and tilted her head up to look at him,  “I will never push you for anything you do not want, or are not ready for. We just found each other again today. If you aren’t ready to be roommates, we can figure something else out. I’m sure Murphy wouldn’t mind crashing with me and you could take his single apartment.” he expressed to her.

 

  
She looked up at him, like she really couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not, “I don’t think living with you will be the problem, and I know you would never push me, and I appreciate that more than you’ll ever know. I’m more worried about me ruining things for you, or feeling like you’re under pressure from me. I have a lot of baggage Bellamy. I am a 29-year-old Widow, I have no idea what I’m going to do next with my life, and I just finally found a home here in Vancouver after roaming the planet for the last year and a half. I don’t want you to ever feel obligated to be with me as a roommate or more. You have your own life and routine, and I do not want to come in and disrupt that for you. I could never be the reason you aren’t 100% happy in this life.” she said looking down.

 

  
“30 days.” he said, and she looked up at him quickly. “Let’s try being roommates and nothing more for 30 days. If either of us are unhappy with the arrangement by the end, then we can re-evaluate our living situation, but I can tell you right now you aren’t disrupting my life and you aren’t going to drive me away. I told you, I want to be in your life any way you’ll let me. This is for you. Does that sound better?” he asked hopeful.

  
“30 days.” she repeated back. “You have yourself a deal. Now let’s get the rest of this stuff packed up and by the door, so we can be ready to go tomorrow.” she said smiling and squeezing his hands.

  
“Yes ma’am.” he said with a smile and they finished getting all of her stuff packed and lined up by the front door.

 

 

 

Once they finished, he was finishing loading the dishwasher when she reappeared from the bathroom ready for bed in short sleep shorts and an oversized t-shirt with her hair pulled back. She was just as beautiful as he had ever seen her. He must have been staring for too long, because she cleared her throat and started laughing as Bellamy refocused on her.

  
“Sorry.” he said shaking his head to clear his thoughts. “If you want, I can sleep on the couch out here if you can point me in the direction of the extra pillows and blankets.” he said.

  
She looked towards the couch while she was biting her bottom lip, “It’s not that comfortable, I have accidentally fallen asleep on that thing a few times. There’s a king bed in here, plenty of room. Plus, I think I wouldn’t be able to sleep, knowing you are right out here. I spent plenty of nights losing sleep over you already.” She said with a shy smile.

  
Bellamy walked over to her then, and took her hand in his. “If you’re sure, I would love to sleep in the bed with you. I know what those sleepless nights are like.” he admitted.

  
“Shall we?” she asked.

  
“C’mon, let’s get some sleep. It’s late.” he said as they walked towards the bed.

 

Clarke slid into the right side, and he turned out the lights and slide in on the other side facing her.

 

As their eyes adjusted to the dark, and the glow of the moon lite up the room softly, she looked at him, just lovingly, “I still can’t believe the odds of us both living here at the same time. It almost feels like fate, more than luck.” she said quietly.

 

  
“I agree. Maybe 4 times is fate, and not choice.” he said.

 

  
“Do you believe in fate? That there are things in this life we are going to go through, people we are going to meet no matter how much we might stray off course?” she asked honestly.

 

  
“I do. I think no matter what life path we choose, there will always come a time where we will end up exactly where we are meant to be when we are meant to get there.” he told her.

  
“Hey Bellamy,” he looked back at her, “I’m starting to find a new appreciation for whatever path led me here, to meeting you.” she said as she took his hand in hers.

  
“Come here,” he tugged on her hand as she moved to cuddle into his side and he wrapped his arm around her, “I am so incredibly grateful for whatever roads led us here.” Bellamy said as he kissed the crown of her head. “Goodnight Clarke.”

  
“Goodnight Bellamy.” with that they both drifted off to sleep.


	25. Let’s ruin the friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start heating up between Clarke and Bellamy. After all, they aren’t roommates just yet...

_The next morning..._

  
**Clarke:**

  
Clarke woke up feeling warm, safe, rested and the weight of an arm wrapped around her waist, holding onto her.

She gently rolled over, to find Bellamy still sound asleep with his face halfway buried in his pillow and his curls falling over his face. Clarke couldn’t help herself this time, when she reached out and brushed them out of his face.

So soft, and showing his adorable freckles that were hiding behind his hair, he started to slowly stir and his grip on her tightened. He slowly opened his eyes, and a smile grew on his face. “How long have you been staring at me sleeping?” he asked with a light laugh as he rolled over to face her.

  
“I just woke up, to your hold on me like a vice.” she teased back.

  
He pulled her all the way to his chest and looked down at her, “I didn’t hear any complaints miss.”

  
“No complaints here.” she said with a smile.

  
“Good morning.” he said with a light kiss to her forehead, yeah, she could already feel like she could get use to this. No Clarke, Roommates and Friends first! Gosh, this might be harder than she thought.

  
“Morning. Coffee?” she asked as she made her way to get up and stretch.

  
“That might be the only way to get me out of this bed, so it better be some damn good coffee. I’m talking liquid gold, for you to get out of this bed right now.” he teased.

  
“It’s from Seattle, so it may be the closest to gold we can get right now if that counts for anything.” Clarke called over her shoulder as she headed for the bathroom.

  
She heard him grunting and rolling back over to bury his face in the pillows. Clarke brushed her teeth, pulled her hair up again, and reemerged to go get the coffee going. When she came out of the bathroom, a very attractive roommate was missing. She headed into the main area to see him standing at the coffee machine getting it ready.

  
“I will warn you now, I am almost completely useless before coffee in the mornings. Even a shower won’t help until I’ve had at least one cup when I wake up.” he started.

  
“Well, we have that in common, so it seems coffee first thing every morning will be a good routine for us.” she said as she reached up for 2 mugs.

  
Once the coffee was finished and poured, they headed out to the balcony, even thought it was 9am it was a very cloudy morning helping keep the warm summer temps at bay for now.

“So, move your stuff that’s here to the apartment today, then furniture shopping tomorrow?” he asked.

  
“Yeah, if that’s okay with you. I mean I could stay here again tonight, since I don’t have a bed yet.” Clarke suggested.

  
“I have a bed.” Bellamy said with a suggestive wink.

  
“Really, so you don’t sleep on the floor? Like a methodical writer or something? How uncommitted.” she joked.

  
“If sleeping on the floor is what makes a great writer, I may need to change professions. My back can’t handle that.” he winced.

  
“Ahh, well I guess if that’s the case, I will check out today. Did you ask the guys about helping tomorrow?”

  
“Not yet, but if I say the words Ikea, Murphy will be the first one to the car before he realizes that means we are putting together furniture afterwards. His entire place is furnished by Ikea. That man in that store is like a kid in a candy store.” he laughed.

  
“Well, moderately priced foreign furniture is practically every millennials dream.” Clarke laughed.

  
“I’m pretty sure it’s the meatballs, but I can see your point.” he nudged her shoulder.

  
“So, I know you said your office isn’t opening for a few more weeks, so what is your weekly schedule like? Are you going to still be doing the world traveling thing?” Clarke inquired.

  
“I’m not sure yet. The office will be Monday to Friday like normal business hours. I’ll still be writing either there or at the apartment when I feel the need, and with this new position, travel is on a selective basis. Meaning, I can accept projects that would require travel if I want, which will depend on the destination, the duration and the project itself, but mostly I can deal with a quick trip to get initial meetings and finish everything else here. It’s a big reason why I took the position, that and it got me out of LA and back here to my home, and near my sister.” he explained.

  
“Did I know you were from Vancouver?” She thought, apparently out loud.

  
“No, I haven’t lived here since I left for university, so I haven’t really referred to this place as home for a while.” he said with a small smile.

  
“So, your sister. Does she know that you just adopted a new roommate?” she asked curiously, expecting that they might run into each other at some point.

  
“I actually haven’t seen her much since I moved in. I stayed at her house when I first got here and was apartment hunting, but I’ve been... occupied lately.” He said as he winked at her.

  
“Oh please, don’t blame that on me! I just saw you yesterday.” Clarke argued.

  
“Doesn’t mean I wasn’t occupied by you.” he said with a sickly-sweet smile.

  
“Laying it on thick already today, aren’t we?” I teased. “C’mon, I need to finish cleaning up and getting this stuff out of here.” as she stood up.

  
“Wait,” he stood and held her hand. “Look at this view, feel the amazing summer breeze. Just be here with me for a minute longer?” looking hopeful.

  
“You aren’t going to make this easy on me, are you?” she said looking out at the view of the bay.

  
“30 days. We can make it 30 days, to make sure we aren’t just rushing things.” he said as he stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

  
“Speak for yourself. I’m going to need you to pull out whatever annoying habits you have now, to help.” Clarke leaned her head on his chest.

  
He kissed the top of her head. “I’ll go ahead and take the bags that are ready down to the car, while you finish up here.”

He went to get the bags by the door, and Clarke changed clothes and packed up the bathroom, put the coffee stuff away, and the mugs in the dishwasher before starting it. Then she striped the bed and put the stuff in the washer.

She did a double check through every room and drawer to make sure she wasn’t forgetting anything. Once she came out to the living room to find Bellamy chilling on the couch, he looked up at her and smiled. “Is there anything you don’t look good in?” he asked, “because this living together thing is going to kill me before it even starts.”

  
Clarke looked down at what she was wearing. It was just some jean shorts, a white V-neck with Nirvanas logo on it and converse. “Really, this is what does it for you?” she joked.

  
“Well let’s see, I've seen dressed up, dressed down, casual and sleepwear. All which makes it hard to look away from you. Let’s put burlap sack on the list of things to buy.” he said as they walked toward the door.

  
“But those are SO ITCHY!” She shouted at him.

They laughed and she took one last look around the place that she had made herself at home for the last 4 weeks. She couldn’t help but think about how much her life had changed in those 4 weeks, and even more so in the last 24 hours.

  
“You ready to head to your new home?” Bellamy’s question pulled her out of her daze.

  
“Ready if you are.” Clarke said looking back at Bellamy. He held his hand out to her and she took it as they locked up behind them.

  
She checked out and they headed for the car, once he started the engine, he looked over at her and smiled. “Still good?” he asked a little shyly.

  
“Still good.” she reassured him with a gentle squeeze to his hand, and that’s all he needed to put the car in drive and start down the streets of Vancouver to his, their, home.

 

  
They pulled up to the apartment and started unloading the bags. Once they reached the 15th floor in the elevator, they made their way down the hall to their place.

Murphy chose that moment to appear in the hallway. “There you are, I was beginning to worry when no one answered your door earlier.” he said smiling at the both of them.

  
“Checking in on me man?” Bellamy asked.

  
“No, I had a reason. I just don’t remember what it was now, but now that you’re BOTH here. What’s going on?” he asked with a mock surprise.

  
“Clarke is moving in today, and we are going furniture shopping tomorrow.” Bellamy said easily.

  
“IKEA!? I’m clearing my entire day!” Murphy yelled.

  
“See, what did I tell you.” Bellamy said leaning down to whisper in her ear.

  
“Hey, no secrets! Clarke, now that you are in our circle you have to know the rules.” Murphy went on as he followed them into the apartment.

“Rule number one, no secrets. Rule number two, we all have keys to each other places in the case of an emergency.” he continued.

  
“Which does not include ‘I’m out of beer, and I don’t want to go to the store to get more’.” Bellamy interrupted.

  
“Hey, running out of beer can be classified as an emergency depending on the situation.” Clarke corrected.

  
“I like her! Don’t screw this up or me and Nate go with her in the divorce.” Murphy said laughing.

  
“That thought alone, is tempting me now.” Bellamy said smirking at her.

  
“I did not agree to children, just a place to rent. You bought them you keep them.” Clarke said laughing as she went to put her bags in her new room.

  
“Hey, let us grab that desk and bookshelf out of your way. Murphy, give me a hand with these.” Bellamy instructed as they followed her into the room.

 

  
As they got to work on moving Bellamy’s office stuff out to the dining nook area, Clarke’s phone started ringing, “Hey Harper, what’s up?” she answered.

  
“What are you doing tonight? Monty and I are thinking about going out for drinks or karaoke or something. What do you say?” she asked.

  
“I think I’m committed to dinner with the guys, but what about afterwards? We could all meet up?” Clarke suggested.

  
“The guys?! Who are these guys and why haven’t you told me! I just saw you two days ago!” she shouted on the other end of the line.

  
“Remember the guy I thought I recognized at the gym on Wednesday? Turns out it was who I thought it was, and then I ran into his friend yesterday, then they both brought me to the Mystery Man I told you about. He’s been living here for the last two months, so when I ran into the other two, I found him too. He was actually looking for a roommate, so I'm kind of moving in right now and then we were all going to get dinner.” She said biting her lip, knowing that it might sound fast or crazy.

  
“I left you for one day and you found him! And now you found a place to live too! I’m like a proud momma bear. Ok, so where are ya’ll going tonight?” she asked.

  
Clarke thought, then realized that she hadn’t gotten that info just yet, so she poked her head out of her room and called out to the guys, “Hey, where were we going to dinner tonight?”

  
“It’s a new place on Hamilton. It’s called Parlor I think.” Murphy shouted back.

  
Clarke repeated that info to Harper, hoping she could make more sense of it than Clarke could. “Oh, I have been wanting to try that place! They have open mic/karaoke and great drink specials on Friday Nights. We will meet you guys there!” she said excited. “I cannot wait to meet this mystery man I have heard so much about. I’ll see you tonight love!” with that she hung up.

  
Clarke walked back into the living area to see Murphy sitting on the couch playing some game, while she walked around the corner to see Bellamy on the floor restacking his books.

She sat down beside him and started handing him stacks, “So, my friend Harper and her boyfriend are going to meet us at the restaurant later tonight. Apparently, they have Karaoke and Open Mic with great drinks on Friday nights, so.” she explained.

  
“Cool, it will be nice to meet some new people.” he said as he took another stack of books to put on the shelf. “Where did you meet them?” he asked.

  
“I met Harper at a dance class that I started going to a couple of times a week, then we started getting coffee and going to the gym together. I have only met her boyfriend once when they were moving. They just bought a house together.” Clarke explained as he nodded along.

  
“Well, I'm glad you seem to be adjusting well here. Wait, did you say dance class? Like Waltz or Tap?” he said with some amusement in his voice.

  
As Clarke stood up slowly and started to walk away, she looked over her shoulder and simply answered, “Actually, modern, heels and a little pole.” she winked then walked away. Hearing his sharp intake of breath was satisfying enough.

 

Two could play this game. “Hey Murphy, I’ll see you tonight. I have some friends joining us if that’s cool.” Clarke said in passing.

  
“It’s cool with me, you guy wanna head out around 8?” he asked.

  
“Sounds good to me, see you later.” she walked back into her room and started pulling out things she could hang in the closet and put up on the top shelf, along with putting her shoes away at the bottom.

 

She heard some mumbling voices, then the front door open and shut. Not even ten seconds later she heard the door to her room slowly open. Then she felt two hands slowly come up on on waist.

  
“You are playing dirty, and you haven’t even unpacked yet.” he said in a low voice in her ear.

  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. You asked a question, and I gave you a simple answer.” Clarke said innocently.

  
He groaned in frustration, “You know exactly what you’re doing, and now that image is in my head.”

  
“Well, you asked.” she said with a shrug.

  
He leaned his head down to rest on her shoulder, “Does the 30 days start today or tomorrow?”

  
“Why does that matter?” she asked coyly.

  
“Because I am having some very non-roommate feelings right now.” he said pained.

  
“Well, I don’t have a bed of my own yet, and you offered yours which would mean we couldn’t start being roommates just yet...” then she was cut off as he spun her around and kissed her, slow at first, but then building in intensity.

  
He backed her up to the wall as he left her lips and started trailing across her jawline and then down her neck. Once he got to the spot right under her ear he whispered, “You are going to kill me, and I am going to enjoy every minute of it, but don’t think that you’ll get off that easily. Two can play this game.”

Then he pulled away and walked towards the door. Bellamy looked over his shoulder at Clarke and gave a devious wink before closing the door behind him.

  
“Oh God, I am screwed.” she said to herself.

 

Well if that’s the way he wanted to start this off, she had just the perfect outfit for tonight.

 


	26. Baby I know that you’ve been wondering, so here goes nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy have a night out with friends, will their arrangement stand up?

Clarke took a shower, while Bellamy was locked in his room. It was almost 7 so she stayed in her bathroom, and blasted her ‘Going out’ playlist.

She did soft beach waves, that swooped down into her eyes. Did light makeup with a slight Smokey eye and a nude lip. Then, when she was happy with the look, age headed back to her room to get dressed.

She pulled out her short and distressed white shorts, a low and silky blushed colored flowey tank, and then put on some tan wedges and grabbed a light weight black leather jacket to complete the look.

It was very edgy meets classy. If he had a hard time in the denim shorts and t-shirt, he was going to eat his heart out now. She heard the guys come in and chat in the kitchen with a few beers.

Clarke grabbed her ID and credit card and put it in her front jacket pocket, then she grabbed her phone off of the charger and headed to join the group.

  
She hadn’t seen Bellamy since he kissed her, then left her abruptly in her room a few hours ago. She turned the corner to see him in dark wash jeans, and a black button up with the sleeves rolled up facing away from her. He must have showered recently since his hair seemed to still be a bit damped and styled, still messy though, the way God intended it.

  
All the sudden Nate and Murphy quit listening and stared past Bellamy to look at her with matching Cheshire grins on their faces. Once Bellamy noticed that they weren’t paying attention to what he was saying, he turned around and his eyes went wide and his mouth dropped. Mission accomplished.

  
“DAYYYUUUMMM” Nate said with a low whistle.

  
“Dude, you are so screwed.” Murphy said as he cupped Bellamy on the shoulder.

  
“Is this okay for where we are going? I’ve never been to this place, so I wasn’t sure what to wear.” Clarke said innocently as she did a small turn to show the whole outfit.

  
“You...Umm...You...” Bellamy stuttered out.

  
“That’s idiot for ‘What you are wearing is perfect, for where we are going and otherwise’.” Murphy said laughing at Bellamys expense.

  
“Okay, well then, are you guys ready to go?” Clarke said looking down at the time on her phone.

  
“Let’s go. I’m driving.” Nate said as he finished off his beer and grabbed his keys.

 

They all walked out of the apartment and the other two went ahead to grab the elevator as Bellamy locked up. When he turned around to walk towards the elevator, she smile up at him sweetly, he had this coming since he pulled that move on her earlier. “You doing okay?” Clarke asked faux concerned.

  
He took a long look at her from head to toe, then back up appreciatively. “If I wave the white flag of surrender now, can we skip dinner and go back inside?” he said with dark eyes.

  
“I’m afraid we have people counting on us to make an appearance, but I will accept your surrender and go a little bit easier on you the rest of the night if you want.” Clarke said with a satisfied smirk.

  
“Then I officially surrender. I don’t think I can take much more of this for the rest of the night, you wearing that alone is going to cause me problems.” he said in a deep voice.

  
She shivered as he moved closer and wrapped an arm around her shoulders and led her to the elevators, “You too can continue your very not roommate foreplay later behind closed doors.” Murphy yelled.

  
Bellamy and Clarke both rolled their eyes, while Nate just laughed. They headed down to the garage and then to the restaurant

 

 

Once they got to the Restaurant, they sat down, ordered drinks and browsed the menu. They settled on trying their infamous Wood Fire Pizzas.

While deciding on what to put on them, they were all throwing out suggestions, “Supreme. Can’t beat meat, olives and mushrooms.” Murphy said.

  
“Eww, classics only. No veggies allowed on Pizza.” Nate argued.

  
“What do you think Clarke?” Bellamy asked.

  
“Well, I’m actually allergic to Mushrooms and Olives, so anything without those.” she explained.

  
“You two nasties get what you want, Clarke and I are on the same page.” Nate said as he reached over the table for a high-five.

  
“Well that’s good to know, anything else I should know about?” Bellamy asked with a raised eyebrow.

  
“Not that I know of, but if I start puffing up or break out in hives, then we can make note of those as well.” Clarke said jokingly.

  
“How did you find out you were allergic to Mushrooms and Olives?” Murphy asked.

  
“Culinary School. I had a really back reaction to Mushrooms, like I can’t even touch them without gloves on. I had to carry around an epi-pen for the remainder of my schooling, just in case something else came up after the first mushroom incident where everyone panicked.” She explained.

  
Bellamy was typing on his phone quickly, then turned it off and slide it in his pocket. Clarke looked at him with a questioningly look. “He was making a note, so he doesn’t accidentally kill you.” Nate said like it was common knowledge.

  
“It’s okay, I’ve known about this for 7 years. I know how to avoid them, as long as you warn me ahead of time that you are using them in the food, then I can avoid it.” she said easily.

“Are any of you allergic to any food?” Clarke asked.

  
“No, but I hate eggplant, so I say I'm allergic.” Murphy joked. Both Nate and Bellamy shook their head that they didn’t have any food allergies.

  
“So, I didn’t know you went to Culinary School. Are you a Chef?” Nate inquired.

  
“Technically yes. I am a certified Pastry Chef, and that’s the route I pursued after school. I can definitely still cook savory, but it’s not my passion.” She told them, they nodded in understanding.

  
“So, what I’m hearing is that we will have less takeout and more gourmet meals?” Murphy said excitedly.

  
“WE? You live down the hall, and I am an excellent cook.” Bellamy stated.

  
“I think we can let the professional decide that Bellamy.” Murphy said mocking him.

  
“No, really. I don’t do much savory cooking anymore, I mean I know how but it’s not my first choice, plus food always tastes better when someone else is cooking it.” Clarke said with a wink.

  
They ordered their food, and she noticed that Bellamy didn’t get Mushrooms or Olives on his pie. He looked over at her with a small smile after he completed his order.

 

The other two were engrossed in some video Murphy was showing on his phone, so Clarke leaned over and whispered in Bellamys ear, “You know, I can’t get a second-hand allergic reaction if you eat something you know?” teasing him.

  
“You can according to the internet. If I still have remnants in my mouth and kiss you, you could get it in your system. That’s what I was looking up on my phone earlier.” He said as he rested his hand on her knee under the table.

  
“That is possibly the weirdest, sweetest thing anyone has ever looked up for me.” She said laughing.

  
“I wouldn’t normally be so presumptuous to assume that I would kiss you at some point tonight, but I would be lying if I didn’t tell you it is taking everything in me not to take you home right now.” he whispered back to her.

  
“You’re ridiculous. Plus, we rode with Nate.” Clarke reminded him.

  
“It’s only about a 10-minute walk, we could be back by the time the food was here.” he said playfully.

  
“I think you are treading on very dangerous ground right now. If we did that, there is no way we could even start 30 days.” she said.

  
“Screw it, who says we can’t have a relationship and live together? Screw stereotypes. They tell us after high school we have to go to college, graduate, get engaged, find a career in our field, get married, buy a house and have 2.5 kids before we turn 30 or we are behind in life and something must be wrong with us. Who says 30 days or 365 days will help or hurt our chances? I don’t give a damn what the calendar says, as long as you are ready, I’m in this. All the way in this with you, and I don’t think I could get out of it if I wanted to.” he said with such a passion in his eyes.

  
Before she could respond, the guys rejoined the conversation, and Clarke felt his hand lightly squeeze her knee, before he moved it off. She reached over and intertwined their fingers together, and he looked over at her and smiled, before turning his attention back to something Nate was saying.

  
Bellamy was right, no one can set a time line and tell you that is the one size fits all for everyone. Clarke didn’t expect to have been married and widowed before she turned 30.

These 3 Amazing guys with excellent careers are all still single somehow and past 30. So, who says you have to know someone for x-amount of time or be together for so long before taking these steps? She knew her husband for two years before they got married, and then after 4 years of marriage they both changed so much, their priorities, their likes and dislikes, and just who they were as people. It happens, and it is no one's fault. Everyone is allowed to change and evolve.

Clarke had to get that ideal out of her head that seemed to subtlety be fed to people their whole lives.

  
She knows Bellamy, she knows more about who he is as a person than little mundane facts that don’t matter in a relationship in the grand scope of things.

She may not know his favorite color or where he went to elementary school, but she knew he cared about her enough to search for her for months after they met, that he offered her a pace to live without a second thought, that he felt as much for her as she seemed to for him, and not just physically.

He knows the important things about her past and has accepted and encouraged her without ever pushing. He genuinely cares, not just about her, but about all the people around him and that speaks more about him than anyone else could ever say about him.

  
The food arrived while Clarke was spaced out, and Bellamy looked over and smiled at her, then gave her hand a small squeeze before letting go so they could eat. He then leaned over to her and said quietly, “I can hear when you’re thinking too loud. Is that weird?”

  
“As long as you can’t hear exactly what I'm thinking, I’ll allow it.” Clarke said as she knocked his shoulder with hers and they all dug in, talking about places around the area Clarke need to know about and what they liked to do during the week.

 

This felt like home, and she couldn’t be more thrilled that this had worked out the way it did.

 

 

After dinner, they moved over to a crescent booth that faced the stage with a small dance floor in-between that Harper and Monty were sitting in. Clarke was in the middle of introductions when Harper’s boyfriend, Monty, reached over and had a weird look on his face, “Bellamy? Bellamy Blake? Dude I haven’t seen you since high school! Where have you been?” Monty said excitedly.

  
“Monty Green! You guys, Monty and I go way back. We had almost every class together that last year of High School. I’ve been good, I stayed in California after I graduated, got a job with Manning Publishers, and they are opening a location here in Vancouver next month, so I got the transfer to come back home.” he explained.

  
While the guys caught up and started talking about Soccer or something, Harper leaned over and talked in Clarke’s ear as a band got up to start playing, “So this is the mystery man huh? I’m impressed, and you are living together now?!” she said with appreciation.

  
“I guess so. I moved my stuff in today, we are buying furniture tomorrow, so I guess it’s official.” Clarke said with a shrug.

  
“You’re going to make him work for it though, right? I mean, give this roommates thing a real shot, before involving anything else?” Harper asked curiously.

  
“We talked about 30 days, but then he was saying earlier that when it’s right, it’s right, so what’s the point of waiting a set amount of time. It will either work or it won’t, plus have you seen him? I’m only human, and he has to be the sweetest and most caring person I’ve ever met. The charm does not have an off switch either.” Clarke laughed into her drink.

  
“Okay, I don’t know what rules you’re 30 days included, but maybe just don’t sleep together right away, in case it makes it weird to live together afterwards. Get to know each other in other ways, romantically if you still want, but also living together before involving that type of intimacy. I mean I’m just speaking from the experience with Monty and I. It’s worth waiting a bit to get to know each other in that way.” she said with a suggestive wink.

“This is all new for both of you as people, roommates, maybe relationship wise, adding anything else is just too much to start with.”

  
“I hear that and I know he won’t push, he’s made that clear. I’ll talk to him about new boundaries if we are going to jump into all of this head first.” as she finished saying that, Clarke felt Bellamy wrap his arm around her shoulder as he continued his conversation with the guys.

  
Harper had dragged Monty up to dance with her for a song, so Bellamy leaned down into Clarke’s ear so she could hear him, “And what were you girls chatting about?” he said with a smirk.

  
“Global Warming and the Melting Ice Caps.” she said deadpanned.

  
He pulled back and looked at her with utter confusion on his face, “We were talking about me moving in, what that meant for us etc.” Clarke said trailing off.

  
Her drink was empty, and Bellamy looked over at her glass then nodded his head towards the bar, so they asked the guys if they wanted anything while they were up getting drinks, then headed for the bar.

As they waited, Bellamy looked over at Clarke with a questioning look, “So, you care to fill me in on what this is now?”

  
“I think we can both agree that 30 days as nothing but friends and roommates is not going to go as smoothly as we hoped, so I have a new proposition.” she said twirling a drink straw in her hand nervously.

  
“I’m all ears.”

  
“I still want to be your friend and roommate, but I do feel more and so do you, so that isn’t just going to go away. I propose we let things happen naturally, no labels, no big show of it. If we feel more than friends, if we feel a relationship type of feelings, we just go with it, see how it pans out without any added pressure or rules or labels. I just have 1 request.” she said biting her bottom lip.

  
“Whatever you want, it’s yours, you know that.” he said sweetly.

  
“No sex, not until we are sure that this,” I gestured between the two of us, “Is the real deal. I don’t want to add an extra layer to an already all new situation. And I don’t want to end up falling into a ‘Friends with Benefits’ situation either. I think I’m a little too old for stuff like that, and it was never really my thing. If you are okay with this, that’s kind of where I stand, and I know you will say whatever I want, but you are in this too, so I want to hear your thoughts or ideas.” Clarke said in closing.

  
“You’re right, I want whatever you want because being with you is all I want. Friends Roommates, Significant Other, whatever. I agree to your terms.” he said as he stuck his hand out at her.

  
Clarke took his hand, and then he brought it up to his lips to gently kiss it. They grabbed their  drinks and headed back to their table hand in hand.

When they sat down, Murphy was on stage for open mic, “So, apparently he’s been here a few times and neglected to invite us.” Nate said nodding to the stage.

  
“So, did you two talk?” Harper leaned over and whispered in Clarke’s ear.

  
She nodded and smiled at Harper and she grinned and squeezed Clarke’s hand in excitement.

Murphy started strumming and singing a beautiful cover of a song called ‘In case you didn’t know’, and Clarke just saw a whole new layer to this hilarious, prankster. He was amazing, sweet and the song caught her off guard, the lyrics were like a smack in the face.

 

  
_‘I know that you’ve been wondering, so here goes nothing. In case you didn’t know, baby I'm crazy about you. And I would be lying if I said that I could live this life without you. You had my heart a long, long time ago, in case you didn’t know.’_

 

  
She felt her eyes water as the song went on. Earlier that night, Bellamy had put it all out there ‘I’m in this, all the way’ and she couldn’t help but feel every word he said so intensely for the first time.

He put everything out there, did she? Does he know? He deserves the world, to be cared about as fiercely as he does for others. Clarke looked over to find him looking at the stage, then turn as soon as he felt her gaze on him and smiled so bright at her, like she was the best thing he’s ever seen.

She gave his hand a squeeze and he leaned his ear down to her, “I’m in this too. All the way.” she said smiling back at him.

He put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his side and kissed the top of her head. That was it. So easy, so comfortable, here with everyone, with him, this was home.

 

  
_‘You’ve got all of me, I belong to you, yeah you’re my everything.’_

 

  
Once the song ended, and Murphy stayed up there, guessing he had a few songs ready, Clarke excused herself to the restroom, but instead she walked to the side of the stage.

It was dark in there, and there was equipment everywhere but she got Murphy’s attention.

  
“Hey, what’s going on?” he asked looking at her skeptically.

  
“First of all, you’re amazing. Second, can you help me with something?” she said.

  
“Plotting, now you’re speaking my language.”

And then they went over a few details. Bellamy surprised her in Boston with such an intimate thing for him, so here goes nothing.

 

 

_Back in the Booth..._

 

**Bellamy:**

  
Clarke had been gone for a little bit, and Bellamy was starting to look around the room for her when Murphy came back on stage to start his next song.

As the song started playing, he kept scanning the room to see if he could find her. He moved to the edge of the booth, about to get up and go look for her when a voice that wasn’t Murphy’s  started singing with him that caught his attention, but no one else on stage was singing.

Just then, as the chorus started, Clarke emerged looking right at Bellamy as she sang. He was frozen in place. She had an amazing voice and looked incredibly nervous, until she looked over at Murphy who smiled at her.

They sang perfectly together. Then the song picked up, and she turned her full attention to Bellamy as she sang.

 

  
_‘Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul, and it's the only thing that I know. I swear it will get easier, remember that with every piece of you, it is the only thing we take with us when we die. We keep this love in a photograph, we make these memories for ourselves. Where our eyes are never closing, hearts were never broken, and time's forever frozen still.’_

 

  
She sang with such passion, like she meant every word she said. Bellamy was in complete awe of this woman that continued to surprise him with new things about herself constantly.

Once the song finished and everyone applauded, he got up on instinct to go find her. He found her walking off of the side of the stage, when her eyes met his, there was so much emotion and care there.

She offered him a shy smile, and that’s all it took before he took two long strides to wrap her up in his arms. Bellamy pulled back just slightly to look down at her, as one of his hands came up to cup her cheek and he leaned his forehead onto hers. “You were amazing.” was all he could muster at the time.

  
“I was terrified. I never performed in front of a crowd before. I almost always passed out in my college speech class and there was only 30 of us.” she said breathing heavily.

  
Knowing that she did something that scared her, challenged her, and she sailed through it was just so inspiring.

He couldn’t hold back anymore, and he leaned down to catch her lips in a sweet kiss, what started out as sweet anyway.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, the kiss deepened and intensified. They were both well-hidden on the side of the stage and completely unaware that they were still in a room full of people. She had one condition, and if they didn’t stop soon, he wouldn’t be able to keep that promise to her. He reluctantly pulled away and they were both breathing heavily. 

 

“We can continue this back at home, but we are going to have to stop now before our first time ends up being in one of these bathrooms like a cheesy college hookup.” he said deeply.

  
Her eyes widen at this, and Bellamy instantly wanted the ground to swallow him up. He just referenced the one thing she asked him to wait for like it was going to happen tonight. Idiot.

  
“I’m sorry. I just got carried away, but you’re right. Quit while we are ahead.” she said with a small laugh. Then she grabbed his hand and they joined the rest of their friends at the table.

 

  
They continued drinking, ordering a few rounds too many. By the end of the night, the girls got up and did a karaoke rendition of ‘I love rock and roll’ as they were starting to lean on each other for support and it was an amazing video Bellamy got of them.

 

Shortly after Monty and Harper headed out, the 4 of them headed to Nate’s car to go home.

 

  
Once they got upstairs, they said goodbye to Murphy with promises to wait until at least noon to go to Ikea, since they would all probably have a nice hangover in the morning.

Once Clarke and Bellamy got inside their apartment she started struggling to get her heels off and almost feel over, “Here, sit down so I can help you before you break your ankle or something.” he said as he herded her over to the couch.

She fell back on the couch with her eyes closed and a huge smile on her face, she looked so relaxed and happy. It was one of his favorite sights to see.

Once he got her shoes off, they tried to get her jacket off, getting a little tangled in the process. She started to lay down and snuggle on the couch, “Oh, no, no, no. We need to get you to bed with some water before we can sleep. We are going to feel this in the morning.” Bellamy warned her.

 

“Can’t walk. Sleep here.” she mumbled.

  
“C’mon,” he said as he lifted her up off the couch bridal style, trying not to trip and have both of them fall over since he wasn’t exactly sober either.

Bellamy got her to his bed and laid her down gently. He got up to go grab some water for the both of them and to change.

  
When he came back, Clarke was sitting up looking sleepily around his room. “I haven’t been in here yet.” she said as a smile grew on her face.

  
“Yeah, it wasn’t exactly clean when you took a tour yesterday. Do you want me to go find you some clothes to change into?” Bellamy offered.

  
“Nah, I don’t want either of us to have to dig through suitcases right now. I can sleep in this.” She said walking towards her bathroom, “But I am brushing my teeth, or I might throw up in the morning from the taste in my mouth alone.” she said cringing.

  
While she went over to her bathroom, Bellamy got out a pair of sweat pants and a UCLA t-shirt for her, and put them on his bed while he downed a bottle of water and then brushed his teeth as well.

  
When he came back into his room, she had her back to him, bare as she took her top off to put the t-shirt on. He gulped and turned away. He couldn’t torture himself like that.

Bellamy waited another few minutes, when he would be sure that she was dressed, and then came back in the room to find her cuddled under the blanket.

He slide into the bed and faced her, her eyes were barely open, “Your bed is the most comfortable bed I've slept in in a long time.” she said softly.

  
“Well if that’s how you really feel, we don’t even have to go furniture shopping tomorrow.” He said with humor as he wrapped his arm around her, and she curled into his side.

As soon as she threw her leg over his, he realized she forwent the sweatpants. “Uh, where are the pants I gave you?” he asked curiously.

  
“You’re a freaking heater, I will die if I wear pants too.” she mumbled as sleep was overtaking her.

  
“And I might die here like this.” he groaned.

The alcohol didn’t help, so he let it overtake him and help him finally fall asleep.


	27. Don’t get too close it’s dark inside, it’s where my demons hide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke opens up to Bellamy, but the cost is releasing some inner demons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bellarke Fluff, with some hauntings of the past.

_The next morning..._

  
**Clarke:**

  
Clarke woke up with a massive headache, dry mouth and thankfully a bottle of water next to her. God, she was never going to let Harper suggest shots like that again. She’s not 21 anymore and cannot recover like she used to.

She looked around the room, and was instantly confused. Where the hell was she? The other side of the bed was empty, and she remembered she was supposed to sleep in Bellamy’s room since she didn’t have a bed yet, so guess that takes care of the where.

Clarke leaned over to look at the bedside table and saw aspirin as well as her phone on the charger. It was 10am, and she needed coffee and hangover food if she was going to be a functioning human today.

She went to get out of the bed and was shocked. She was only wearing a t-shirt that was definitely now hers and underwear. She didn’t black out, but things were a bit fuzzy. She remembered talking to Bellamy about their situation, making out like a couple of kids, almost giving in and saying screw the rules, and now she’s in his bed alone in nothing but his t-shirt.

Shit, did she make a move and freak him out? Did they have sex and she actually forgot? Only one way to find out...

  
Clarke slipped out of his room and into hers to find some clothes before heading out to the main living area. Once she put on some shorts and a bra, she went out to the living room.

There is where she found a passed-out Murphy with a pillow over his face groaning. Clarke turned to the kitchen to find Bellamy cooking something and drinking coffee.

She walked up next to him and he jumped a bit, before wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her closer to his side. He reached up to grab a coffee mug, then handed it to her full. “I’m making hangover omelets for everyone.” he said quietly.

  
“How are you even alive right now?” Clarke said as she took that first sip of coffee.

  
“I stopped at 3 shots, unlike you two.” he said gesturing to Murphy on the couch.

  
“Things started getting a little fuzzy after that, and I lost count. Did anything happen last night?” Clarke asked hesitantly.

  
“Yeah, your friend Harper tried to kill us!” Murphy said in pain.

  
“No one made you keep drinking.” Bellamy shot back at him with a laugh, “But no, we got home, changed, got in bed and went to sleep.” He said with a small squeeze.

  
“Okay, just checking, since I woke up in a room I didn’t recognize, empty bed, and with only a t-shirt on that was not mine.” Clarke said as she leaned against the counter and played with the hem of his shirt she was still wearing.

  
“Yeah, neither of us wanted to dig through your suitcases to find your clothes. I gave you sweat pants, but you said I was a heater and you were going to burn up.” he chuckled.

  
“You really are. Sorry if I sent mixed signals, you know saying no sex then getting in your bed drunk with only your shirt on.” she blushed.

  
He pulled her close and kissed her on top of her head, “No worries, you are welcome anytime.” She swatted at his shoulder playfully.

  
“Dude, you’re a goddamn saint.” Murphy said as he sat at one of the bar stools.

  
“Here, eat. You both will feel much better afterwards.” Bellamy said sliding a plate over to Murphy and one next to him for Clarke.

  
They all three sat in the kitchen eating, then Murphy disappeared to shower and ‘feel human again’. Clarke decided that was a good idea, and cleaned up her breakfast and headed for a shower.

Once she was finished, she realized she still hadn’t unpacked any clothes, so she headed for her room to find some for the day. Hopefully they would be coming back with a dresser so she could access all of clothes easier.

  
Once she was dressed and ready to go, Clarke headed for the living room. Once she got in there, she saw Bellamy sitting on the couch reading a book with quite a few notes sticking out of it, with glasses. Great, add that to the list of things about him she can’t resist.

Clarke sat next to him, “I didn’t know you wore glasses.” she said.

  
“When I read and work mainly. I don’t wear them as often as I’m probably supposed to, but oh well.” he said without taking his eyes off of his book.

  
He continued to read and make marks in his book, while Clarke laid her head back and closed her eyes and relaxed until Murphy came back ready to go, “IKEA!” He let out like a war cry. Seems he has full recovered. They headed for Bellamy’s SUV and they were off!

 

They hit a local furniture store first and ordered a bed to be delivered since it wouldn’t fit in the car, and then they headed for Ikea. They lost Murphy on one of the floors and told him to text when he wanted to hit the cafeteria before they checked out.

  
Bellamy and Clarke picked out a dresser, night stand, lamp, and some storage bins for the closet. Clarke got a call about the bed while they were picking up the items near checkout, and they said they couldn’t deliver until Sunday.

While they waited in line, Clarke ordered some bedding and more towels online that they could pick up on the way back. She felt like she got everything on her list, and they headed back to the apartment with a car full thanks to Murphy’s impulse buying.

  
“How many bookcases do you even need?!” Bellamy argued.

  
“I’m a writer! I have lots of books and stuff.” Murphy said with an eye roll. Children, these two.

 

Once they got everything upstairs after a few trips, Murphy started on his bookshelf, which Clarke learned was because he recently converted his last one into a bar shelf instead.

Once that was done and moved to where he wanted it, they all headed back to Bellamy and Clarke’s place to start on her stuff. She setup camp in her room to do the dresser since that was the biggest one.

Murphy took the night stand in the living room since he was ‘An Ikea Building Expert’ and could handle it by himself.

Bellamy joined her in her room as they unpackaged the dresser, “Fucking Ikea.” Clarke mumbled. There was at least 100 pieces she swears.

Bellamy started laughing as they sorted the different pieces and got to work.

  
“So, when did they say they could deliver your bed?” He asked.

  
“Tomorrow. Sorry, if I’m crashing with you again tonight.” Clarke said as she tried to make sense of the directions.

  
Bellamy slowly lowered the directions in her hand and smiled at her, “I told you that you didn’t even need a bed. I honestly don’t know how I’m going to sleep alone now.”

  
“You’re too sweet. And, we did ban the rules in light of just letting things happen naturally...” Clarke trailed off.

  
“So, does that mean an open invitation?” he asked with a raised brow.

  
“I give one if I get one in return.” she said laughing.

  
“Damn it, I’ve been hanging around Murphy too much now that we’re neighbors.” he said in a huff.

  
“You mind went dirty didn’t it?!” Clarke exclaimed with amusement.

  
“Shut up, and hand me that board so we can finish this thing before tomorrow.” he said blushing.

  
She leaned over and gave a big smacking kiss to his cheek, “Aww, you’re still an awkward teenage boy in there somewhere. A Man child!”

  
“No, I just like to have fun, and I hang out with Man childs, children?” he tried to see which sounded correct.

  
“You two have barely cracked this thing? I’m already done! Move peasants, the King is here!” Murphy shouted.

  
“You’re had a quarter of the pieces ours does.” Bellamy argued.

  
“But there’s two of you and only one of me. Just bang and get the sexual tension out of the way so you can actually be productive.” Murphy said so casually while he started assembling pieces.

  
Both Bellamy and Clarke’s mouths were hanging open in shock to his bluntness, and before either of them could say anything, Murphy put his hand up while still focusing on the dresser, “Save it, it’s so obvious and you’re not fooling anybody, plus I was there last night and this morning.” he continued.

  
“We haven’t, I mean, we aren’t...” Bellamy was struggling.

  
“I think what he’s trying to say is we haven’t done that and we aren’t putting labels on this right now. We are just being who we are together and seeing where that takes us.” Clarke supplied, and Bellamy looked at her grateful.

  
“Whatever, as long as I don’t walk in on anything and you don’t screw it up, you can call it whatever you want.” Murphy said dropping the subject.

 

  
They finished the dresser, and Clarke started cleaning up and unpacking her stuff, while Murphy insisted he needed a nap from all of his fine handy work.

Bellamy went back to reading his book, this time in her room, while she unpacked and left room for the movers to bring the bed in tomorrow.

She was putting all her folded clothes in her new dresser drawers, she used the bins for the few non-clothing items she had brought with her this trip, then she organized her shoes.

She set up the lamp, her laptop and phone charger on the nightstand, and then sat next to Bellamy on the floor where her bed would be going.

  
“All settled?” he asked as he closed his book.

  
“For now. When they deliver the bed, I can unpack all the bedding stuff and slid my suitcases underneath the bed, then everything should be good.” Clarke said looking around at the progress.

  
“Hey,” he said as he took her hand in his and turned his head to face her, “I am so happy that you’re here and I want you to feel at home here, with me.”

  
“So far so good. Thank you for agreeing to this, you didn’t have to, but I’m really glad you did.”

  
He leaned over and put a hand on the back of her neck and gently pulled her in for a kiss. Him being this caring and gentle was something she already found herself wanting every day. He pulled back just slightly to smiled at her, “Don’t break my heart.” he whispered.

  
“I could never.” Clarke promised.

  
They had dinner from the Pizza Place they talked about the other day and enjoyed it out on the balcony with the sun setting.

They played a question game to get to know the regular everyday stuff about the other like, his favorite color is Red, he loves a good burger if he had to choose one food, he would rather play some kind of game or sport to stay active as opposed to a gym, his middle name is Alfred, and his sister and her fiancé have been together for the last 3 years, and the fiancé is older than him and he hated it at first, but now he loves Lincoln like a brother he never had.

  
Clarke, in turn, told him her favorite color was a tie between blue and orange, she LOVED Tex-Mex food of any kind, She’d rather dance or do an outside activity or swim to workout, her full name is Clarke Jane and she wasn’t too fond of it, and that her mom and sister were back home running the family business, and that she used to be a journalism major the first two years of university, so that obviously caught his attention, “How have we never talked about this before? I’m a writer!” he asked surprised.

  
“It was cool at first, but when I got stuck, I got really stuck and couldn’t accomplish anything else. It was bad, so I found it to be more of a hobby and creative outlet than an actual career. And I love Culinary, and figured I could easily marry the two if I ever wanted to in the future.” Clarke said by way of explanation.

  
“Well, it seems that can just go into another one of our in common columns. I write for a career and I love cooking as a hobby. We could complete the other in that sense.” Bellamy declared.

  
“We could. Is there anything you want to know, that you don’t already?” Clarke asked, watching the last remnants of the sun set in the distance.

  
“I’m not sure what I should ask, I don’t want to cross any lines.” he said a bit hesitant.

  
“You want to ask about my life prior to my husband dying?” she figured.

  
“I would never ask you to relive that, but I would love to know about him as he is a big part of your life if you ever wanted to share it.” he said sweetly.

  
“We met between my Junior and Senior year of college. We fell in love, I left to finish school and when I came back, he wanted to marry me. I couldn’t believe anyone would want to honestly, and I wasn’t the only one who thought that. I wasn’t the easiest person to get along with. I was blunt, honest, some may call it brutal, stubborn and set with what I wanted and how I wanted things, and a lot of people don’t like that type of directness.”

“Anyways, we got married after I graduated and I moved back to Texas. We were married for 4 years when he was in a car accident and was killed on impact. Drunk driver that was also texting ran a red light and t-boned into the driver side door. The driver also passed away later at the hospital and we didn’t know of any family he had so it was a closed case. His funeral was a week and a half later and I left after that. You know the rest from there.” Clarke told him, recounting the highlights as best as she could.

  
She felt his hand cover hers, and she turned to look at him. It wasn’t pity, but sadness. “I hate that you’ve had to go through all of that. No one deserves that kind of pain.”

  
“I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, but we all have paths in life, and sadly mine had to endure that part, but it’s all a part of what got me to where I am today.” Clarke said.

  
“Do you believe that?” Bellamy asked, more out of curiosity as to her answer.

  
“I have to. I can’t believe that all of that was for nothing, or just by chance.” Clarke told him. “Any deep secrets you have?”

  
“No, you know about my parents, my latest relationship, my job. I guess I'm just a boring person.” he said with a small smile.

  
“Not boring by a long shot. Trauma doesn’t make you interesting.” she half joked.

  
“I’m just a regular guy, absolutely taken by an amazing woman, trying to figure out life like everybody else.” he said as he squeezed her hand. “You ready for bed? We had a long night and a very long day. It might be nice to catch up on some sleep.”

  
“That’s a plan I can get behind.”

They headed inside and got ready for bed. Clarke came into his room in her own pajamas this time and got into his bed. When he came out of the bathroom, he just stopped and smiled at her, “Did you dress accordingly, since I’m apparently a furnace?” he laughed.

  
“I put on a tank top and shorts, just like a Texas summer day.” she smirked back.

  
He pulled her chose to his chest and they both drifted off to sleep pretty quickly.

 

 

_‘I was burning up, it felt like actual fire crawling up my skin, I tried to scream but nothing was coming out, I tried to escape but couldn’t get out, then it became very difficult to breathe. Someone started calling my name, but I couldn’t find them. It was dark and I was burning up...’_

 

  
“Clarke! Clarke it’s me, I need you to calm down and breathe for me. C’mon, you can do this. Deep breath in, and out. In, and out.” It was Bellamy, he had his hands on either side of her face with a panicked look in his eyes.

It took Clarke a minute to realize where she was and that she was covered in sweat. Once her breathing returned to normal, he instantly relaxed, “Clarke, are you okay? Do you need anything?” he asked so sweetly.

  
“No, I think I’m okay. I’m so sorry.” she felt so embarrassed.

  
“What was it about?” he asked quietly.

  
“What?” she asked confused.

  
“The nightmare, I use to get them often.” he explained.

  
“I’m not sure. It was pitch black and I was burning up like fire and couldn’t get out. Then I heard you calling my name.” Clarke said, but she knew exactly what it was, because this wasn’t the first time she has had this type of nightmare.

  
“You are covered in sweat, here let me go get you some water.” He said as he quickly got up.

  
She went into her room to change and freshen up from all the sweat while he was in the kitchen. When she came back, he was sitting on his bed looking at her like a skittish animal.

  
“I’m okay Bell, I swear. It just happens, but hasn’t happened in a while. I’m sorry I woke you up and freaked you out. I can just crash on the couch tonight, honestly, it’s okay.” Clarke told him.

  
“Like hell you are sleeping on the couch. Are you sure you are okay?” He asked again.

  
“I promise.” she said with a smile and got back into bed with him.

  
“I didn’t realize I was that hot.” he joked as he pulled her back to lay on his chest.

  
“I told you!” Clarke said as she smacked his chest.

She just wanted to fall back asleep, knowing she was safe here with him, but she knew she would have to tell him why that happened if it happened in front of him again.

She wasn’t ready to disclose that just yet, but talking about the past tonight seemed to have triggered this episode.


	28. Our scars remind us that the past is real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy show one another their permanent reminders of how they have come to be who they are.

_The next morning..._

  
**Bellamy:**

  
Last night was a little bumpy. Bellamy hadn’t seen someone have a nightmare and reaction like that since his sister was really young.

 

He was scared, more so for Clarke and what she was going through, but he didn’t want to push. Once she came out of it, she seemed calm. Almost like it had happened before.

 

Bellamy rolled over to see her peacefully sleeping next to him and he couldn’t help but smile. She was beautiful, and even more so that her scars help build the beautiful person that she is, and not hindered her in anyway.

 

Watching her lay there, Bellamy made a silent promise to himself that he would do whatever h could to make sure she was happy and smiling.

 

  
Clarke started to stir as he played with her hair, “Now who’s watching who sleep?” she said with a smile as she pulled the blanket over her face.

 

  
“I couldn’t help it. You just looked so gorgeous sleeping, I had to touch you.” Bellamy said honestly.

 

  
“Well, am I pretty enough for coffee?” she asked with a glint of humor in her eyes.

 

  
“You are pretty enough for whatever you want. What about breakfast?” Bellamy suggested.

 

  
“Pancakes?” she said with excitement.

 

  
“Absolutely! Let’s have coffee and breakfast outside like a proper Sunday morning, then the rest of the day is ours. What would you like to do?” he asked as they intertwined their hands together.

 

  
“Is there a beach nearby? I would love to spend a chill afternoon on a beach, then make it back in time for the movers to deliver the bed?” she asked.

 

  
“Sounds perfect. I’ll get coffee going and meet you out there.” Bellamy said as he kissed her forehead and got up to stretch and head for the kitchen.

 

 

  
They had an amazing breakfast and enjoyed the morning. Once they were finished, they packed a bag with towels, water, snacks, sunscreen and they each grabbed a book as well.

 

 

Bellamy came out of his room in his swim trunks, although he had no desire to get in the water, and a tank top with his sunglasses on top of his head. Clarke met Bellamy in the hallway with a black coverup on, with her hair in a messy bun and sunglasses as well.

 

  
“Ready?” she asked.

 

  
“I think we got everything. Let’s go.” and they walked to the elevator, and down to his car in the garage.

 

 

  
Once they got to the beach is wasn’t too busy since it was 11am on a Sunday, but it would get busier as the day went on, so they had a nice pick of a spot to set up.

 

They laid out their giant towels and Bellamy asked Clarke if she wanted to test the water, “No way, I went in the pacific enough in California and it was freezing!” she said as she shivered at the memory.

 

  
“It really is pretty cold usually, but a few hours in the warm sun might change your mind. Sunblock?” Bellamy asked.

 

  
“Here is it, do you need help?” she offered.

 

  
“If you would be so kind, then I would be happy to return the favor.” He smirked at her and took his shirt off.

 

  
“So, I’ve seen the tattoo on your wrist, do you have anymore?” Clarke asked.

 

  
“My sister and I have matching ones on our ribcage of our mom’s birthday in roman numerals. We got it not too long after she passed.” Bellamy said as he turned and lifted his arm to show her. “What about you? Any ink I haven’t seen?” he asked curiously.

 

  
“I have two. You won’t be able to see either of them in this particular suit, but maybe one day I can show you.” Clarke hinted at.

 

  
“Not even going to tell me, huh?” he teased.

 

  
“It makes more sense if you see it, but I can say that one of them is similar to one of yours, but I won’t say which one. I got that one while I was in Australia, and the other one I have I got before, in Greece.” she explained.

 

  
“Well, now my curiosity is spiraling.” Bellamy said as she finished spraying the sunscreen on him.

 

 

“Okay, your turn.” he told her, as she pulled off her coverup to reveal a long two-piece. A part of hum was sad because he wanted to see her tattoos, but the other part of him was glad because he is only human and he doesn’t know how much he could resist.

 

  
After they were both pleasantly covered in sunblock, they settled down on their towels and started their respective books in companionable silence. Bellamy was reading a memoir similar to one he was currently working on, getting ideas on the structure, and to make sure he didn’t repeat that one.

 

He didn’t realize that the book that Clarke grabbed was actually one of his. It was one of his first publishing's about an Inn owner in the Greek Isles.

 

  
“I had no idea you were reading my book?” Bellamy said as a passing comment.

 

  
“I wanted to read what you write. This is a part of you, and I was curious. I started at the beginning, and am working my way through.” Clarke said with a smile.

 

  
“This is the 2nd book of mine you’ve read already?” he said a little shocked.

 

  
“Of course. I like to read them in the order of which they were released, see the writing progression. You’re amazing by the way, if I haven’t said that before. I was never anywhere close to this.” she explained.

 

  
“That’s actually really flattering, Thank you. Most people read them for the person they are focused on, not the actual writer.” Bellamy told her.

 

  
“Now that the cat is out of the bag, can I ask a question about your other book?” Clarke said, biting her lower lip, which Bellamy learned is something she did when she was nervous or unsure.

 

  
“Anything.”

 

  
“The first book, was that about your Mother?” she asked looking right at him.

 

  
“What gave it away?” Bellamy asked.

 

  
“From the little bit you’ve told me about her and growing up, I started to see some parallels. Also, the dedication to Aurora Blake.” she supplied.

 

  
“Very observant of you. It’s mostly about her life, which include O and I, but it’s mainly focused on her. I wrote it after she died, almost like an obituary and memorial that spun out of control. I wanted to do it for her, and after my boss read it and he decided it was good enough to publish, my first book went to the editors.” he told her.

 

  
“I’m sure she would be so proud of everything you’ve accomplished, and that she was your inspiration.” she said as they both went back to their reading.

 

Bellamy could not believe this woman cared about what he wrote, and paid enough attention to gather all of that intel. She continues to surprise him.

 

 

 

_Later that day, back at the apartment..._

  
**Clarke:**

  
Despite the sunscreen, Clarke could feel that her skin was a bit warmer once they got back.

 

They had just enough time to shower and change before the delivery men with the bed knocked on their door. They showed them where to put it, and then began assembling the frame and headboard to put the mattress on.

 

Once it was all set up, and Clarke put the bedding on, it looked like a real bedroom finally.

 

  
“I don’t like it.” Bellamy said as they stood there and surveyed their handy work.

 

  
“What? What’s wrong with it?” Clarke said looking around, trying to figure out what he was talking about.

 

  
“Now that you have your own bed, that means you won’t be in mine and I'll be all alone again.” he said with such a pout on his face.

 

  
Clarke walked up to him and smoothed the furrow between his brows and rested her hand on his cheek, “What happened to open invitations?”

 

  
“Oh yes, we threw out the rules. Well, let’s test this one out tonight and see which one is comfier.” he said with a menacing grin on his face as he tackled Clarke onto the new bed.

 

  
“So, what do you think your new life is going to look like?” Bellamy asked as they laid on the bed, trying to catch their breath from laughing so hard after he tackled her.

 

  
“Well, on Tuesdays and Thursdays Harper and I go to Dance class and Coffee, then on Wednesdays and Mondays is that new Gym I saw Nate at. Friday is Drinks and Karaoke or Dancing, and Saturdays and Sundays are Free Play. Oh, and I usually work on my laptop from 8am-Noon during the week for an old employer. He pays well and its easy work.” Clarke explained with a shrug.

 

  
“Well, you sound busier than me. It sounds like we get a lot more hangout time before I start going into the office during the week.” he said with a bright smile on his face.

 

  
“Oh, what ever will we do with all this time.” Clarke said sarcastically.

 

  
“I’m going to show you all of my favorite things in Vancouver, and you can show me things you’ve found so far that you like here. Re-explore the city together.” Bellamy said as he held her hand.

 

  
“Most of mine include Dancing, Drinking, Dance Classes and Shopping.” Clarke said with a giggle, “I’d love for you to come to dance class!”

 

  
“As much fun as that sounds, I’ll leave that to Harper to keep you company.” Bellamy said with a shoulder nudge.

 

  
“Suit yourself, but you’re missing out.” she said with a wicked smile.

 

  
“Well, you could always come home and give me the notes, you know practice for you and learning for me.” Bellamy said as he rolled and hovered over top of her.

 

  
“True, but it might be a little difficult since we don’t have a pole here and all.” yeah, if he was going to play like this, she was going to enjoy teasing the hell out of him.

 

  
He made a painful noise and buried his face into her shoulder, “What have I ever done to you?”

 

  
Clarke leaned up into his ear and whispered, “Nothing, that’s the problem.”

 

  
At that Bellamy pulled back and his pupils were blown wide. He then wasted no time at all leaning down to kiss Clarke hard and fast, like it was the only way to breathe.

 

 

It was frantic and then sweet as he tried to remain calm and slow down, as soon as Clarke reached to take his shirt off, Bellamy paused his assault on her neck, “Wait, wait, wait. I thought we weren’t going to do this until we were sure that this was the real deal.” he said hesitantly.

 

  
“This is real for me. This isn’t a fly by night or a crush or a one-night stand. This isn’t a game to me. If you have any reservations, now would be a good time to express them.” Clarke said looking right in his eyes. She needed him to know that she trusted him, that this was real to her, and it was him that she wanted to be with.

 

  
“I want that more than anything, but I am a little nervous about what I have to live up to. I want to do this right, take you on a date, spend some time outside of our friends and this apartment and daily stuff to truly be with you the way I want to.” he was so honest.

 

  
“Okay, we don’t have to rush anything. Instead, can I show you something?” Clarke said, feeling nervous all of the sudden.

 

Bellamy was so honest with her that it was time she do the same. He nodded for her to continue, then she started to lift her shirt up and his eye went wide, “Don’t freak out, I'm not trying to seduce you.

 

  
“You definitely don’t have to try.” he said with confidence.

 

  
“I wanted to show you my Tattoos.” Clarke took her shirt off to reveal her sports bra, which had a lot of coverage and was the least sexy bra she owned.

 

She turned to the left to show a detailed swirl design in the shape of a crescent moon in blue on the back right of her ribcage, “I got this one in Greece. There was a saying that I learned while I was there ‘Live by the Sun, Love by the Moon’.” she explained.

“It means that even in the darkest of nights, you can still see the light of the moon to brighten the darkness, and that is what love can do, even in the midst of tragedy.”

  
Bellamy started tracing the design lightly with his finger in awe, “That’s incredible. Are you sure you’re not a writer? A poet or something?” he said in a whisper.

 

  
“Definitely not a poet. And before I show you the other one, I need to tell you something.” Clarke took a deep breath, “That dream I had last night, it wasn’t the first one. It seems talking about my past triggers it sometimes, because there is something not many people know.”

 

”I was in the car with my husband when he died. He was gone instantly, but I was unconscious and woke up in the hospital. They told me I coded a few times on the ride there because I had a massive shard of glass sticking out of my ribs. If it was any higher it could’ve pierced my heart and killed me instantly. It made it incredibly hard for my lungs to get any air and I couldn’t breathe. It was a burning pain for a while after to breathe normally again. So, the dream where I feel on fire, and I can’t breathe and it’s all dark, it’s part of the experience I had to go through. PTSD or something the Counselor said.” Clarke noted to him.

 

  
Bellamy was just staring at her, mouth agape. He gently reached his hands out to hold her face and leaned his forehead onto hers and whispered, “I am so, so sorry. I can’t even imagine. I want to do nothing but hold you and protect you, you’ve been through more than your share.” And Clarke saw his eyes start to get a little glassy, and she noticed that her cheeks were wet from her own eyes.

 

  
She slowly turned to show him the left side of my ribcage, that no one but a doctor has seen yet, to reveal a scar between the top two ribs that sliced across about 2 inches. Woven into the scar was an infinity sign just like the one on his wrist, the top part is where the scar connects it without the colored ink, and the bottom line reads ‘Warrior’.

 

  
“I got this Tattoo in Australia right before I came home for the one-year anniversary of the accident. I’ll have this scar forever as well as the tattoo, and it reminds me that I survived and everything I went through to do that.”

 

”There were days that I wanted to give up, days guilt would eat away at me because ‘why him, and not me?’, days I couldn’t function enough to get out of bed and it became crippling. Then I remembered that I was given this chance for a reason, and wasting it or ending it would be such a slap in the face to him. So, this is my reminder when I feel like I have nothing left, that I have and can survive much worse.” Clarke told him, feeling the tears falling down her face now.

 

  
Bellamy pulled her into his lap, wrapped his arms around her, and gently leaned both of them down onto the bed, “Thank you for telling me your story. It’s amazingly beautiful, as is the reminder you have on your body as proof. You are a warrior and the strongest person I think I've ever met. I am so happy that you’re here, on this planet, in this apartment and in my life.” he said as he kissed her forehead and continued to hold on to her tight.

 

  
“It’s all out there now. No more secrets for me that I can think of.” Clarke told him.

  
“None for me either, none that could even be important anyway.” he said as they laid there, just being with the other.

 

They stayed there all night falling in and out of sleep, talking and just being present.


	29. When I’m with you all I get is wild thoughts.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy and Clarke settle into a new routine, but with Bellamy still holding back, it may just be a routine that breaks him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are heating up between these two 😁

The next morning, Clarke woke up just as the sun started rising. She slowly got out of her bed, and grabbed her running shoes without waking up Bellamy.

 

She got dressed, and left him a note on the kitchen counter that she would be back with breakfast in an hour or so.

 

She quietly made her way out of the apartment and headed for Sunset Beach. They had a trail that went all up and down the beach, so Clarke decided on an early morning jog. Her body was restless, and she had too much pent-up energy.

 

She needed an outlet away from everyone and everything. She just needed to think. Everything seemed to be playing in fast forward, and that was partly her fault.

 

She had gotten so use to it being just her and doing things on her own, that being around others the last few days seems to have just pushed everything else aside. Clarke just needed to breathe.

 

Bellamy knew everything now and nothing was held back for her anymore. It was terrifying, but she found it the easiest to tell him as opposed to anyone else. Clarke made it about 3 miles before the sun started shining higher in the sky, and she decided to make her way back.

 

There was a place with some heavenly smelling donuts and coffee just down the block from the apartment, so she went in to pick some up and went upstairs to see if Bellamy was awake yet.

 

When she walked back into the apartment it was as silent as it was when she left it. Clarke saw her note hadn’t been moved yet, so she went down the hall to peak in her room. She saw Bellamy exactly where she left him almost two hours ago, so she headed for a shower.

 

 

Once she got out of the shower and changed, Clarke snuck back in her room to grab her laptop to do some work in the living room.

 

After about half an hour, Clarke heard her bedroom door open, and Bellamy came out into the living room looking confused and still maybe half asleep, “What are you doing up already?” he asked in a sleepy voice.

 

“I went for a jog, picked up breakfast, took a shower and now I’m doing a bit of work. Coffee and Doughnuts are on the counter.” she said with a small smile.

 

“You did all that already? Are you normally this productive? I thought neither of us were morning people?” he asked confused.

 

“I’m not, usually. I just had some energy I needed to do something with, so I jogged a few miles at Sunset Beach, then grabbed breakfast because I was starving.” Clarke said with a shrug like it was normal.

 

“Normal is not going for a jog before the sun is up.” he said as he sat next to her with his breakfast and coffee, “What’s going on? Really.” he asked focusing all of his attention on her.

 

Clarke set her laptop down and turned to fully face him, “I’ve just never told or showed anyone what I showed you last night, and honestly it was a relief and I’m glad it was you. But the last few days have been a bit of a blur, so I just wanted to take some time to slow down and really think. I’ve gotten used to being alone, so everything has felt a bit overwhelming, but not in a bad way. It was just nice to be by myself and get clarity this morning.” she said as she reached over to hold his hand.

 

“Oh, good. I was afraid you were going to say after thinking about it, you decided not to live here.” he said with obvious relief on his face.

 

“Not at all, plus that stuff we just got up here, would be a pain in the ass to move again.” Clarke joked.

 

They worked the rest of the morning in companionable silence, then Clarke headed for the Gym to meet up with Harper and Nate. Her new normal was starting to feel right again.

 

 

 

 

The next few weeks seemed to fly by as Bellamy and Clarke settled into their everyday routines.

 

Mondays and Wednesdays, Clarke met with Harper and Nate at the gym after work. Nate’s dad used to be in the police force, so he was a good trainer for Harper and Clarke who seemed to get easily distracted.

 

On Tuesdays and Thursdays she and Harper had their dance class and their Café date afterwards.

 

Fridays they all kept their group night with Dinner, Drinks, Karaoke and Dancing.

 

Saturdays the group would go to the beach if the weather was nice and did lunch as well, then Saturday Nights they would all do our own date nights.

 

Harper and Clarke had introduced one of their troupe dance partners, Emori, to the group one Friday night and her and Murphy really hit it off.

 

Then Sundays Bellamy and Clarke would spend the day just the two of them, exploring different parts of Vancouver, taking turns deciding on what the day's activities would include. They would still end up in the others bed almost every night, even if they started out in their own bed.

 

On the nights they would drink, Clarke noticed Bellamy trying to stop himself before things got too far, but she could never figure out why.

 

During the week they would work in the living area, and when Clarke had some free time, sometimes she would join him on his writing adventures to the park or local coffee shop. She was really going to miss their daily norm once the office opened next week.

 

 

 

Bellamy and Clarke had been successfully living together, and going on dates for almost a month now, and they were getting into the middle of July when Murphy’s birthday came up on the Calendar.

 

They had planned on doing Game Night with food at their Apartment, then going out to a bar afterwards.

 

Per the birthday boy, Bellamy and Clarke’s food was way better than any place in the area, but Clarke thinks he just wanted a special cake from from if she was being honest.

 

 

Clarke’s relationship with Murphy had grown in a way she never thought. He would often join her in the apartment when he was stuck in his writing process. They would talk about anything and everything until he seemed to hit a break through.

 

Murphy would come over and have lunch or dinner with Clarke if age was home alone, and she would take food over to him if neither Bellamy or her had heard from Murphy in a while which would happen when he really gets into writing mode, to make sure he was alive.

 

“He’s like a plant. We have to feed him, give him water, and occasionally put him in the sunlight to make sure he survives.” Bellamy had joked when explaining to Clarke the way Murphy zones out.

 

Murphy and Clarke had formed a different type of friendship, that was unique from the others. She knew if she was having a shitty day, she could say anything, tell him anything and he wouldn’t even bat an eye.

 

They could bounce off the wall ideas and stories off one another, and the other would just get it. He had a rough childhood growing up, and once he turned 18 he left the east coast and never looked back. He had made a nice life for himself, and he didn’t ever let his past affect his present.

 

He helped Clarke in an unorthodox way, deal with her past and help overcome those seeping feelings of doubt or guilt that would come up occasionally.

 

Clarke was so happy to be able to celebrate his birthday, and make him whatever he wanted. The conversation came up as Bellamy and Clarke were out shopping after work on Thursday, for his party the following day, before she headed for dance class, “I have never really seen Murphy take to someone like he has to you. It took Nate and I forever to get through, and even then, we’re guys. We don’t talk about emotions or anything like that.” He stated.

 

“Well, I did help get him a girlfriend and I feed him, so...” Clarke said laughing, “It’s okay, you don’t need to be jealous that he likes me better than he likes you.” she winked at him.

 

“I’ve been feeding him since we graduated college! I think he’s forgetting where his loyalties should lie.” Bellamy argued.

 

“I did help him with a girlfriend though...” Clarke reminded him.

 

“Fine, but I laid the ground work with him, and now you get to reap the benefits.” Bellamy said with a sigh. “At least I still have Nate.”

 

“Hmm, I wonder who I could set him up with. We do go to the gym together and all...” Clarke said smiling deviously.

 

“Now you’re just being mean! C’mon, let’s get the rest of this stuff so you can get to class.” Bellamy said as they continued down the aisles.

 

 

Bellamy dropped Clarke off at Dance Class, then headed home to put the groceries away. She walked into class to see Harper and Emori stretching and she made her way over.

 

They had been working on this number for 2 weeks. It was a more advanced chorography than what they were used to, but their normal instructor Tavi was teaching this heels class and said she really thought they would enjoy it.

 

Tavi was short, brunette and feisty. She was the literal definition of a firecracker, and she was incredibly talented. She had pushed them to a newer level of dance, and her creativity was something Clarke envied.

 

Today they would be performing the final routine in their assigned groups and Clarke was so excited. It was such a cliché, but this specific dance and song was the epitome of ‘I’m getting laid tonight’ and that was Tavi’s words exactly.

 

“Hey Girls! You ready for today’s finale?” Tavi asked basically bouncing on her heels.

 

“I’m so ready. I told Monty to pick me up towards the end of class when we would put on the final performance.” Harper said with a devious smile.

 

“I told John the same thing. Part of his Birthday present and all.” Emori said laughing.

 

“What about you Clarke? Are you still skirting around your non-roommate/roommate you’re dating?” Tavi asked.

 

“I mean, he stopped the last time, so I don’t want to initiate again and be shot down. I’m not sure if he’s still holding back because of what I told him about my past, or what the deal is. I have clearly given the okay more than once.” Clarke told them.

 

“You know he isn’t like that. It probably has more to do with him being nervous and wanting it to be perfect or some sappy shit, not anything to do with you.” Harper said like it was the most common thing in the world.

 

“Either way, I’m about this close to just jumping him if he keeps working around the apartment shirtless. He’s asking for it.” Clarke laughed.

 

“I have an idea.” Emori said as she grabbed her phone and started typing, “There, I told John to make him come with him, because it’s supposed to storm by the time we get out of class. You know he won’t waste a chance to come to your rescue.” she declared.

 

“This routine will get you laid tonight, mark my words.” Tavi said as she laughed and headed to the front of the class to begin todays finishing touches.

 

“Well, if you didn’t have the motivation to nail this routine before, you do now.” Harper said as she nudged Clarke’s shoulder.


	30. Just once if I had the chance, the things I would do to you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy finally get on the same page, so the question remains, who called the timeline correctly?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the Mild Sexual Content comes in from here on out. Nothing explicit, but just a warning for you.

 

_Meanwhile, back at the apartment..._

  
**Bellamy:**

  
Bellamy had just finished putting all of the groceries away, when Murphy came barging into the apartment, “You need to pick up Clarke from class tonight. A storm is heading in, and I’m picking up Emori and staying at her place tonight.”

  
“Okay, don’t they normally have plans after the class though?” Bellamy asked him.

  
“Yes, but Harper and Monty have something tonight and Emori and I have plans as well, so go get your girl. And we need to make sure we get there before the end of class, trust me. We will leave here 20 til.” he said as he left and shut the door without another word.

  
That’s odd. Clarke didn’t say anything to him when he dropped her off. Maybe she just found out that they weren’t going out after class. It’s still weird that she wouldn’t text him, but Murphy knew.

Whatever, Bellamy has been curious about these classes she’s been taking, He guessed today was as good as any to check it out.

 

Murphy and Bellamy left the apartment at 20 to 6 and pulled in to the dance studio less than ten minutes later. When they walked in, they walked to the back of the dance studio to a waiting room with a tinted window in front of the seats. They saw Monty sitting there, looking up at them confused, “What are you two doing here?” he asked.

  
“I’m going with Emori tonight, so Bellamy came to pick up Clarke since there is a storm moving in.” Murphy said as he took a seat next to Monty.

  
“What’s this whole thing about?” Bellamy asked Monty, gesturing to the window.

  
“It’s a one-way window. On the other side it’s floor to ceiling mirrors for them to see and focus on their moves and not be distracted by people out here.” he explained.

  
The guys sat there as different people got up and practiced their moves. Bellamy couldn’t see the girls, but he figured they would come out when they were ready.

 

Then, he heard a bunch of cheering and all three of them looked up in the window to see Harper, Emori and Clarke in the middle of the dance floor get up as everyone else cleared to the sides, and the familiar song started booming through the speakers.

 

They all walked over to the window to see if they were really seeing what they thought they were, and sure enough the girls started their routine to that classic song.

 

  
_‘I’m just a bachelor, looking for a partner.’_

 

 

_On the other side of the window..._

  
**Clarke:**

  
Tavi was giving out some last-minute tips to the class, then each group got up to show what they had learned.

 

Emori smiled at her phone then looked at Clarke and Harper, “They’re here! Let’s make them suffer a little bit, shall we?”

 

  
“You ready?” Harper looked at Clarke.

 

  
“Let’s do this.” Clarke said as the room cleared, and it was their turn to show off.

 

  
As soon as Pony started playing, they got into character like Tavi had taught them. The dips, pops, rolls, slides, and cuts were sharp, and fluid. Full of sensuality and tease. Clarke could only imagine what the other side of that window looked like.

 

She focused on the mirror in front of her and tried to look through it, so Bellamy could see her looking right at him. He had no idea she knew he would be here, and he had been holding out for far too long.

 

It was time to see how much longer he was going to play this game, because Clarke wasn’t holding back anymore. If he wanted to play, then game on.

 

  
As the routine came to an end, Clarke gave a devilish wink to the mirror and walked to the side of the room where her stuff was.

 

The girls started high-fiving and taking off their heels and knee pads and trading them for leggings and sandals. Clarke had on an oversize purple t-shirt that fell off her shoulder and spandex short shorts. Once she was changed, and a little freshened up with some body spray, they innocently made their way to head out of the class to see what awaited them on the other side.

 

  
Clarke was almost to the door, when Tavi found me her the crowd, “I expect a full update to see if my projection comes true. See you Tuesday!” she said with a wink as she headed towards the back of the classroom.

 

 

When Clarke walked out of the classroom, Harper and Emori were already out there, “So, we’re going to go. See you guys for dinner tomorrow!” Murphy said as he dragged Emori towards the exit laughing.

 

  
“And I think that’s our cue. See you two tomorrow.” Harper said as she winked at Clarke.

 

  
“Hey, I didn’t know you were going to be here too.” Clarke said once everyone had left, and it was just her and Bellamy standing there. He looked like a deer in headlights.

 

  
“I... Umm...Murphy said he was going with Emori, and Harper and Monty were busy, so I wanted to come pick you up. It’s...Uh...Storming.” he stuttered out.

 

  
“That’s so nice of you. So, what did you think?” Clarke asked with a shy smile.

 

  
Bellamy looked away, took a deep breath, then looked back at her with dark as night eyes, “You planned this didn’t you?” He said with a smirk forming on his face.

 

  
“I can honestly say that I did not plan this, but...” Clarke was cut off as Bellamy grabbed her and kissed her hard and fast. She was so caught off guard that she didn’t even notice when he picked her up and started carrying her out of the studio until they got outside and the rain snapped her out of it.

 

  
“Let’s get in the car, before we get drenched.” Bellamy said in a deep voice.

 

  
They got in the car, and he was shaking his head, water droplets falling from his hair. Clarke couldn’t help but look at the man beside her.

 

She never thought she would get to this point in her life a year ago, or even 5 months ago when they first met, but now there was not a doubt in her mind that she wanted to be with him, for good.

 

  
“Hey, Bell?” Clarke said, as he looked over at her, “Let’s go home.” she said with a smile.

  
His look turned hungry really quickly and he leaned over the middle console and grabbed her face for another deep and long kiss. He learned his forehead against mine hers whispered, “Are you sure?”

 

  
Clarke looked back at him with determination in her eyes, “I’ve been sure for a month now. Whatever is holding you back, tell me.” She asked him.

 

  
“After what I just saw, absolutely nothing is holding me back.” he said as he kissed her quick, and then put the car in drive. The rain started pouring on the short drive back. They parked in the covered garage and went inside and up the elevator to their apartment.

 

  
Once they got inside, every guard was let down. Bellamy gently pushed Clarke into the wall right by the front door and started to kiss her with a new hunger, she started lifting his shirt off and this time he didn’t stop her. Her over-sized shirt was the next thing to go and then he just stopped.

 

Clarke was worried that this would be when he would stop or question and freak himself out. Then he slowly leaned down and placed a sweet kiss to her scar that was right underneath her heart where her tattoo was, then he gently kissed up her arm and across her collar bone and then up her neck to her ear, “Last chance. Are you sure this is what YOU want? Because I can wait for you as long as it takes.” he said sweetly.

 

  
Clarke slowly pushed off the wall and started walking towards the hallway, leaving her leggings and shorts behind her. She then turned around to face him still in the place that she left him. His eyes were wide as he stared at her standing in front of him in nothing but her underwear, “I can’t remember the last time I was so sure about something.” Clarke told him.

 

  
Bellamy walked over to her and picked her up, her legs wrapped around him on instinct, “Thank God.” he said as he started kissing her again and walked them over to his bedroom.

 

  
Once they were inside, he set her down on his bed as he made quick work of getting his jeans off, “Any chance those dance moves can translate to other types of cardio?” he asked in between kisses.

 

  
“Of course, why do you think I wanted you to see today’s routine specifically?” Clarke teased him.

  
“So, you did plan this! I knew it!” he said with a mock surprise, “You play dirty.”

 

  
“Someone had to, you were dragging your feet.” Clarke said as he kissed down her neck, “I’m not fragile. And you have my full consent.” she said as he looked up at her with a sweet smile.

 

  
“Good to know. Now, care to show me some of those moves you’ve been working on to torture me?” He said wiggling his eyebrows.

 

  
Clarke rolled them over so she was hovering over him, “Sit back and take some notes, and maybe you can come to class with me sometime.” she said jokingly as she reached behind and unhooked her bra.

  
His eyes went wide and everything was a wonderful blur after that. Clarke knew she put her trust in the right person.

 

Once they were lying in bed and she was drawing her finger over the tattoo on his rib cage, she felt something surge in her that scared the hell out of her and she had to bite the inside of her cheek before she blurted it out, out of habit.

 

She was in love with Bellamy. My roommate and maybe boyfriend? Shit.

 

 

_The next morning..._

  
**Bellamy:**

  
Last night was more than Bellamy could’ve imagined, and when Clarke told him she had been waiting for him to make a move all this time, he felt like an idiot.

 

Bellamy had missed out on all that time with her because he was worried that she would regret it the next day, but waking up this morning with her body curled up next to his, was something that he wanted to have every day.

 

It was Friday which meant that they would work until noon and then start preparing for Murphys birthday dinner.

 

Bellamy made his way out of bed, grabbed some sweat pants to put on, and headed for the kitchen to get coffee and breakfast going.

 

He was almost done with the omelets when he heard one of the bar stools pull out at the counter. He turned around to see a freshly showered Clarke with his UCLA shirt on, and Bellamy couldn’t have imagined a more beautiful look on her, then this one right here.

  
“Good morning.” he said as he slide a full mug of coffee over to her, “How did you sleep?”

  
“Perfectly.” she said with a shy smile. “Ready for today?” she asked.

  
“I think so. Laptops are up and running on the coffee table, and breakfast is almost done.” He told her as he walked to the other side of the counter to her, and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, “Still okay?” he asked her, knowing she would know exactly what he meant.

  
“More than okay.” she said smiling up at him. A huge breath he didn’t realize he was holding was let out and he chuckled to himself.

  
“Good. I’ll bring the food over there so we can start our day.” Bellamy said as he kissed her forehead.

  
They ate breakfast, then she laid on the other end of the couch with her feet in his lap while they worked for the next few hours.

 

Clarke started baking as soon as they were finished and Bellamy started prepping the Pasta Feast they were having for dinner. They worked in the kitchen in sync and with ease. Bellamy helped taste test the frosting, and they both worked on chopping ingredients for salad.

 

  
It was almost 5pm when they had everything ready to start the hot cooking when their friends showed up at 7.

 

Cake was in the fridge chilling, beer and wine were in their as well with the salad. Sauces were simmering and they decided to take a break on the couch. “I think we make an excellent team Chef.” Bellamy said to Clarke.

  
“We do. If you ever get tired of writing, you could have a future in Culinary.” she said half joking. She knows he wouldn’t survive in a real kitchen.

  
Bellamy leaned over and held her hand, “So, whatever we tell people, or however you want to handle this,” he gestured between them, “is completely fine with me.” he told her.

  
“I think they already know, even if we don’t officially say it. You know where I stand, this isn’t a one-time thing or a casual thing for me, so, exclusive?” she said as a question.

  
“Nothing would make me happier. Plus, I don’t think I will be able to refrain from PDA anymore with you after yesterday.” Bellamy said as he kissed her hand.

  
“I’m glad we’re on the same page then.” she said as she leaned in to kiss him.

  
Just then the door busted open, “GUYS! They did it! They got their heads out of their asses! Who had 30 days?” Murphy yelled down the hall just as all of their friends made their way to their open front door.

  
“You bet on this!” Clarke yelled at him.

  
“We all did, and it’s my birthday. No yelling at me on my birthday.” Murphy said.

  
“I had the 30-day mark.” Harper said with a wicked smile.

  
“So that’s really what yesterday was about huh?” Clarke said with a mock surprise.

  
“We all played a part, but I got the timeline correct, so pay up bitches!” Harper shouted in triumph.

  
“Damn it, you two couldn’t have waited until tonight?” Nate said grumbling as he walked past them into the kitchen.

  
“You too?!” Bellamy asked.

  
“Yes, I had the night of Murphy’s party. 24 more hours.” Nate said looking up at the ceiling.

  
“That just means the first round is on Harper tonight.” Clarke said as everyone cheered in agreement.

  
“Whatever, you two are finally together so I will take one for the team” Harper said with a bow.

  
Tonight was going to be a blast, and with Clarke by his side, and neither of them worried or holding back, Bellamy couldn’t wait to get the party going.


	31. All I really need to understand, is when you talk dirty to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Partying and Drinking and Dancing, oh my!  
> Bellamy and Clarke have a no holds bar kind of night, and let loose with their friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We get to see a little bit of jealous Bellamy here, which is just another amazing version of him.

* * *

_Later that evening..._

  
**Clarke:**

  
Dinner was amazing! They sang to Murphy as he blew out the Candles for the big 3-0.

 

The guys were playing some video game while the girls went into Clarke’s room so she could get ready for the night. “I have no idea what to wear.” she said while she looked through her closet.

 

  
“Here, let Emori look while I do your makeup.” Harper said as she sat Clarke on her bed and started working her magic. Harper’s magic included darker eyes and lips that usual.

 

  
“Woman, how have you not even worn these yet? They still have the tag on!” Emori exclaimed as she pulled out a pair of short gold sequin shorts.

 

  
“I had bought those for a disco party that I never ended up going to. I forgot all about them actually.” Clarke remembered.

 

  
“Okay, well these are getting use tonight, along with this top and these shoes.” she said as she started throwing the items on Clarke’s bed.

 

  
It was a lower than usual front crisscross black top and black bootie peep toe heals. Once Clarke was dressed and accessorized to their content, she took a look in the mirror, “Guys are you sure? I feel like a bit of a hooker if we’re being honest. Like nothing left to the imagination you know?” Clarke said a bit self-conscience.

 

  
“Here, put this on and get rid of the bangles and hoop earrings.” Harper said tossing Clarke her black leather jacket, “Better?” Harper asked looking back at Clarke in the mirror.

 

  
“Much. Ready Ladies?” Clarke said as they all took one last look in the mirror.

 

  
“Let’s go make them eat their hearts out.” Emori said confidently.

 

  
The girls walked back out into the living room where the guys were too engrossed in their game, screaming and shouting at the other, to notice them when they walked in. The girls looked at each other, shrugged and headed for the kitchen to do a pregame shot, or two.

 

  
As soon as the guys heard them clicking their glasses in the kitchen, they all turned toward the kitchen to see them, “Cheers, and Happy Birthday Murphy!” the three of them shouted as they downed the first shot.

 

  
The guys got up and made their way into the kitchen as they all stood around the center island to take another shot together, “Damn, you look amazing as always.” Bellamy leaned in and whispered in Clarke’s ear.

 

  
“There are secrets happening! Rule number one! No secrets!” Murphy shouted at them.

 

  
“Oh, fuck it.” Bellamy mumbled as he grabbed Clarke and dipped her into a surprise kiss.

 

  
Everyone cheered loudly, and clinked their glasses together as they did another shot. It was going to be a memorable night, Clarke could feel it.

 

 

They arrived at the Blue Room where they had a VIP area roped off for Murphy’s Birthday, thanks to Emori. It was a few steps up from the main dance floor and table tops. It had one long couch along the wall, facing the dance-floor, a few low tables for setting drinks on and a little area for their own dance floor.

 

  
The group started off with the bottles and mixers that were on the tables and got up to dance, laugh and just have a good time.

 

Clarke and the girls were dancing with each other since the guys hadn’t loosened up enough to really join them yet. So many classic club hits were playing, and when the cupid shuffle came on, they dragged the guys down to the main dance floor against their protests to teach them how to dance.

 

  
It was absolutely hilarious to try to get 4 stubborn men to try and shake it while following the moves.

 

Shockingly, Nate already knew it and was really into it. After that, the guys started to loosen up a bit and enjoy it with the rest of the group.

 

Clarke started in between Bellamy and Monty, showing them the moves. As they had to change positions and Bellamy ended up in front of her, he turned over his shoulder to look at Clarke like he was lost, so she put her hands on his waist and guided him through the dance until they were side by side again.

 

Once the song ended and the guys walked back up to the VIP area, the girls all stayed on the main dance floor jamming to Iggy and Ari.

 

  
The alcohol started to flow in Clarke’s veins a bit as they headed back up to the guys right as the rap hook was coming up, and Clarke stood on one of the low tables and announced, “I have a hidden talent ya’ll!” then the rap came on and she started singing every word. The looks of amusement and laugher filled their area well after the song ended.

 

  
“I am so proud of this woman! I love you so much more now!” Nate yelled over the music.

 

  
“Best Birthday Ever!” Murphy shouted as they all cheered again.

 

  
“Alright, what else are you hiding?” Bellamy joked.

 

  
“Wouldn’t you like to know!” Clarke shouted as she continued to dance.

 

  
As soon as Beyoncé came on, Harper and Emori joined Clarke on the table and they started dancing and shouting the lyrics:

 

 

_‘Now, now a Diva is a female version of a hustler!’_

 

 

The night continued with them dancing, trying to get the guys to join them, having drinks and the time of their lives. Clarke didn’t even remember having this much fun in college, since a culinary degree was like working a full-time kitchen job on top of being a full-time student. There wasn’t much energy left for going out dancing or partying like it shows in the movies.

 

  
Clarke was sitting next to Bellamy trying to cool down, when she decided that it was way too hot for her jacket and started to take it off.

 

As soon as she did, she felt a rush of cool air and laid her head back on Bellamy’s shoulder while he absently rubbed her shoulder while talking to Monty.

 

After a few minutes he leaned down to say in her ear over the music thumping, “You tired already?”.

 

  
“Not even close. It was just a little too warm. You know, I could show you some more moves, if you would get up off of this couch!” Clarke shot back.

 

  
“I told you I cannot do this type of dancing. I’ll be your cheerleader though.” he said with a wink.

 

  
“If you insist.” Clarke said as she got back up and joined Emori, Harper, Nate and Murphy while a very fun and familiar song came on.

 

 

  
_‘Been around the world don’t speak the language, but your booty don’t need explaining. All I really need to understand is, when you talk dirty to me.’_

 

 

  
The five of them started dancing and having a great time. Well, if Bellamy insisted on not getting up to dance with her, she would have to bring the dancing to him.

  
_‘Uno, met your friend in Rio,’_

  
Clarke danced with Emori.

_  
‘Dos, she was all on me-o.’_

  
As Murphy twirled her towards Harper.

  
_‘Tres, we can ménage a three though’_

  
Harper and Clarke swayed their hips together.

  
_‘Quatro, Quatro 2 Chainz!’_

  
As Nate spun her towards where Bellamy was sitting.

  
Clarke approached him as the hook began, and gave a less than raunchy private dance with him sitting down, since he refused to get up.

 

Clarke danced with him the same way she would if he was standing up. His hands found her hips quickly and the amusement in his eyes was bright and full of fun. After a few more moves he finally stood up and joined her, “Girls do all the work in this type of dancing. You just hold on top my hips and move how I move.” Clarke told him as she began to rock her hips in tune with the song and he followed.

 

  
She turned around to face him and put her arms around his neck to show him how easy it was, “See, not so bad now huh?” she said with a victorious smile.

 

  
“I had to stand up before you took things too far. Our friends may be cheering now, but I don’t think they want to see me take you right here in this lounge.” he shouted in her ear as the music and bass got louder.

 

  
Clarke pulled back and looked at him with a surprised smile, she didn’t think he had this in him. He has been walking on egg shells about them for the last month, and it seems that he’s finally letting that wall down.

 

Before Clarke could say as much, the Girls dragged her over to the main dance floor as one of the songs from their class came on. A Classic Chris Brown song.

 

  
They started dancing together and shortly into the song, Clarke saw Monty and Murphy walk up behind Harper and Emori and start to dance with them, so as soon as someone grabbed onto Clarke’s hips behind her, she assumed it was Bellamy, until she saw Bellamy storming towards her looking murderous at the person behind her, “Get your hands off of her!” He said dangerously to the guy behind Clarke , who looked a little confused and drunk.

 

  
“Sorry man, I thought she was someone else. Honest.” the guy slurred and let go of her.  
Clarke looked up at Bellamy who went from murderous to concerned in a split second, “Are you okay?” he said looking all over her face to see if she was okay.

 

  
“I’m good. Thank you, I thought it was you when I saw the other two guys come get the girls.” Clarke said looking around.

 

  
“Well, it’s my fault, for not taking you up on your offer to dance. I should’ve known someone else would try to come on to you.” he said as his hands found their way to her hips and they started dancing together to a Ludicrous song. Clarke decided to show him why he should never turn down a dance with her ever again.

 

Dip, drop, and grind with her back to his chest. Bellamy started to kiss behind her ear as they continued to let the beat of the song move them.

 

  
“Let’s go get some water, then we can talk about more drinks.” Bellamy said as they walked towards the bar when the song ended.

 

They got a couple glasses of water, then after they downed those, Bellamy started leading Clarke to a dark part of the bar, before he opened a door and led her inside.

 

  
It was fast, full of want and need as he kissed down her neck and she started unbuttoning his shirt. This was the opposite of what it was the night before, and neither of them took a second thought before they were completely undressed and all over the other one. The music was so loud outside that they couldn’t hear anything else, but their breath’s mingling together.

 

Clarke didn’t think about it in the moment, but she can only imagine the marks they were making on one another in their frenzy that they would see tomorrow.

 

  
Afterwards, while they were getting re-dressed, Clarke looked in the mirror and adjusted her makeup and pulled her hair back, it wouldn’t look obvious since she was dancing all night and worked up a sweat. She helped fix Bellamy’s hair in the perfect messy array it usually was and then he grabbed her by the waist, and gave her a long deep kiss, “I warned you that this would end up happening one of these days.” he said as he smiled at her.

 

  
“Hey, no complaints here.” she said as she reached up to kiss him one more time before they walked back into the bar to grab another water and walk back to the VIP booth.

 

  
They rejoined their friends who didn’t even seem to think we were gone, and continued drinking and dancing.

 

 

After another half hour or so, the DJ announced Murphy’s birthday and played ‘Shots!’ As everyone in the bar lifted their glass in the air and did a celebratory shot.

 

  
Emori went up to Clarke and Harper and pointed out that the poles lining the VIP area were like the ones they had in class. Maybe it was that last shot, or the fact that she literally just had a quickie in the bar, but Clarke was like “What the Hell.” as Emori went to the DJ to request a song.

 

  
All four guys were sitting on one end of the long wall couch, closer to where the poles were in more view for them, and less in view of the whole bar. Clarke wasn’t ready to give the whole place a show and was glad that she decided on the shorts now for sure.

 

  
A familiar T-Pain song came on as each of the girls approached one of the poles. It was a very simple and beginner type of routine, but it was still a little more scandalous than anything else Clarke has ever done.

 

All of the guys started cheering as they jumped and slowly started spinning around the pole by their legs.they were definitely not putting it all out there, but it was still fun to do a bunch of rolls and dips with a pole, then do some spins and slides on the pole. Clarke almost forgot how much of a workout this was.

 

Clarke caught a glimpse of Bellamy as she came around the other side of the pole to face him, and he had a half smile on his face, but his eyes were completely hooded and she knew exactly where his mind was as soon as this song was over.

 

  
Once the dance was over, Murphy jumped up and grabbed Emori and kissed her deeply, and Harper was dancing towards Monty laughing.

 

Clarke turned around to see Bellamy whisper something to Nate, who looked at her and started laughing while clapping his approval, then Bellamy walked towards her and announced loudly over the music to everyone, “This was fun, but we are getting the hell out of here!” as everyone cheered and he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder.

 

Clarke started laughing as she waved at everyone, and Harper tossed her jacket at her and yelled, “Get it Girl!”

 

 

Bellamy and Clarke got outside and he put her down, “Our car will be here in 2 minutes.” then his lips were on hers instantly. “I can’t wait to get you home, hydrated and then worked up as much as I am right now.” he said in a low voice.

 

  
“The hydrated line was what just sold me.” Clarke said looking up and laughing at him when their Uber pulled up.

 

 

They got up to their apartment safely and Clarke started tossing off her jacket and heels as she started wandering to her bedroom. She was about to start taking off the uncomfortable clothes, when she felt his hands still hers with his own, “You got to undress yourself last night, it’s my turn now.” Bellamy said as he spun her around and slowly lifted her top off and kissed her once it was off.

 

  
Clarke started unbuttoning his shirt as he slowly laid her down on her bed. He got rid of his shirt and got to work on taking his jeans off, before hovering over her and kissing her down her neck, collarbone, sternum, both of her sides were each of her tattoos were, before coming back to her face, “I could do this all day, every day if you would let me.” he whispered into her neck.

 

  
“I would definitely let you, if we didn’t have jobs and responsibilities to get to.” Clarke said laughing.

 

  
“Well, I do have a private office starting on Monday, so you could always come work in my office during the day.” he said as he started lightly biting that spot behind her ear that she could swear he knew drove her crazy.

 

  
“We would never get any work done.” she stuttered out.

 

  
“Oh, we would get work done, just maybe not the kind that gets us paid.” he pulled back and winked at her.

 

  
“Okay, I get it. Teasing is not nice. Now did you just bring me home early to propose a new working space?” Clarke teased him.

 

  
“Ahh, now you know how I feel. I think I quite enjoy this turning of tables. And it’s almost 2am, I don’t consider that early. As long as you have learned your lesson on teasing, then we can continue to the real reason I had to bring you home immediately.” he finished as he took her lips with his in a fierce kiss that could drown out any other thoughts.

 

  
“I swear the pole thing was Emori’s idea. I had no intention to tease you, but considering where we ended up, I can’t say I regret it.” Clarke told him as they got rid of the rest of their clothes, until it was just the two of them.

 

Their bodies fit together perfectly, and were so in tuned with one another.

 

It didn’t feel like this was a new thing as of 24 hours ago, but more like something that they were familiar with, maybe in another lifetime.


	32. I said I like it like that.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy deal with the morning after, and Bellamy settles into his new position.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m loving and really appreciating the feedback! This is my first fic, and I’m editing it from my first novel, so let me know if you have any suggestions on how to improve! I’m always open to feedback 😁

_The next morning..._

**_Clarke:_ **

Clarke woke up with the world's worst headache. “Why do I never learn?”

 

She rolled over to the stone wall that was Bellamy’s back to hide from the light seeping through the curtains in her room. He groaned and slowly rolled over and threw his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to his chest, “Water on your night stand.” he mumbled.

 

Clarke slowly sat up and reached behind him to the night stand where there was a bottle of water that was full, and one that was half empty. She grabbed the full one and started to chug. Then she got up, put on his button up shirt from the night before that was on her floor and went to her bathroom to brush her teeth, regretting that she didn’t do it the night before.

 

Clarke stood there for a hot second, thinking back on the last two days and she felt a huge smile grow on her face. Bellamy was an unexpected happy ending that came into her life, and she couldn’t help but feel a swell of gratitude for him.

 

She walked out of her bathroom and headed straight for the kitchen to find the coffee and get it started. She ordered breakfast from the diner down the street, because she don’t think either of them were in any shape to be handling sharp objects or fire at the moment.

 

 

Clarke brought two mugs full of coffee back to her room and gently put them on the night stand, and crawled back in bed with Bellamy. As soon as he smelled the coffee, Bellamy rolled over and looked at Clarke sitting on the bed next to him with her back leaning against the wall, steaming mug in her hand, “Good morning. Yours in on the table behind you.” Clarke nodded behind him.

 

Bellamy slowly sat up and grabbed his mug, taking a long sip, “I don’t want to move. This, coffee in bed with you, in my shirt, is all I want in life.” he said as he looked over at Clarke still sleepy.

 

“Well, how about we start with the weekend, and see if you still feel that keenly about me afterwards.” Clarke said with a smile.

 

“You would really just stay with me all weekend in bed?” he asked a little surprised.

 

“I can’t think of a more perfect way to spend a weekend. Breakfast is on its way as we speak.” Clarke told him as she leaned over to kiss him.

 

“You’re the absolute best.” Bellamy said as he set his mug on the table and grabbed hers to do the same, then he took her face in his hands and kissed her slow and soft. “After breakfast, we can clean up and then settle in bed for a movie marathon day. Murphy and Emori won’t be back until tomorrow, so we shouldn’t have anyone barging over here.”.

 

“Perfect.” Clarke hummed as they slowly got up and finished their coffee, and then put some clothes on so they didn’t scar the delivery person.

 

 

They ate breakfast, took ibuprofen and had another cup of coffee when Clarke started to feel more human again. “Okay shower time, then we will truly be ready to relax for the rest of the day.” she said as she tossed the trashed and headed for her bathroom.

 

 

Before she could reach the end of the hall, Bellamy’s arms wrapped around her waist, picked her up and spun her around towards his room. Once he put Clarke down, he leaned down to whisper in her ear, “My shower is bigger.” in a suggestive tone.

 

 

“We are supposed to be getting clean, sir.” Clarke said as she slowly started walking backwards towards his room, holding his hand.

 

 

“Well, we might as well make sure we get really dirty before then. To really get our monies worth and all.” Bellamy said as he chased her towards his bathroom.

 

 

They spent the entire weekend lounging around, watching movies, playing games, eating delivery food so they didn’t have to cook or clean up and exploring each other to work off all the delivery food. It was one of the best weekends Clarke could ever remember.

 

 

_The following Monday..._

**Bellamy:**

It was 6:30am on Monday morning, and it took everything in Bellamy to not call out on his first day as a new Senior Writer on the first day that the new office was open.

 

The weekend spent with just Clarke was one Bellamy will never forget, and it made it even harder to leave the apartment to go to work when he was so used to working side by side with her for the last month.

 

Bellamy got up for a shower, got dressed, grabbed a travel mug of coffee, and set a timer on the coffee machine to go off shortly after he left, when he knew Clarke’s alarm would go off for her to start her day and then headed for the new office.

 

Once He got inside the building, it smelt like new paint and wood. It was a nice all windows building that was very modern in design, and Bellamy’s office was floor to ceiling windows in-between Murphys and Nates offices. Bellamy saw Murphy with his head already laying on his desk when he walked in, “Long weekend?” Bellamy joked to him.

 

“No kidding. We didn’t get back until after midnight last night, and I could use a weekend to recover from this weekend.” he groaned.

 

“How was the rest of your weekend?” he asked as he slowly sat up and grabbed his coffee to follow Bellamy into his office as he started unpacking his stuff.

 

“It was great. Clarke and I spent the whole weekend lounging around, playing games and binge-watching movies. No work, no cooking, no errands. It was what I needed before coming back to the real world of having to commute to work." Bellamy told him.

 

“Mm... I hear that. It’s going to be an adjustment for a little while for sure.” Murphy said as Nate walked in and joined them.

 

“And how was your weekend?” Murphy asked, like he knew a secret.

 

“It was good. Productive yet relaxing.” Miller said vaguely.

 

“What are you hiding?” Bellamy asked teasingly.

 

“I may have met someone, and may have spent most of the weekend with them.” Nate said with a coy smile on his face.

 

“No way! Who? When? Where did you meet?” Murphy asked all at once.

 

“A few weeks ago, at the Gym but not sure if I want to introduce him to this craziness yet.” Nate said gesturing towards Murphy.

 

“I totally understand that, congrats man.” Bellamy said to Nate.

 

“Anyways, who is leading the new team meeting today with the list Charles emailed over?” Nate asked.

 

“Nose goes!” Murphy shouted as he and Nate touched their noses really quick.

 

“I work with Children.” Bellamy mumbled under his breath. “Okay, let me just print that out and I’ll meet you two in the conference room in 20 if you can manage to round everyone up.

 

Bellamy hooked up his laptop and connected it to the wireless printer in his office to print out the agenda sent from Corporate to present to the new team. He was plugging in his phone, when he saw a picture and text from Clarke.

 

Her hair was up in a messy bun, she had on one of her Alma Mater t-shirts with her mug full of coffee that read: “Thanks for the coffee, I miss my work buddy already. Good Luck on your first day back!" with a smiley face at the end.

 

Bellamy saved the picture and sent one back with the agenda that he had printed out: “I lost to Nate and Murphy about who gave the first team meeting today. I need all the luck I can get. There is always room in this office for you if you ever get bored of the apartment.” with a wink face.

 

He put his phone on silent, slid it into his pocket and headed for the conference room. When he got to there, there was about 11 others seated around the large table with their notepads out ready to begin this new chapter.

 

Bellamy looked at his phone to see the time before he began to see a simple reply from Clarke, “There’s always two beds here if you ever get tired of the office scenery.” with a wink face back to him.

 

Bellamy smiled like an idiot, then cleared his throat, “Good morning everyone, and welcome to Manning Publishers, Vancouver Branch.” he started.

 

As he went through the policies and procedures and weekly team meetings, as well as when assignments would be sent in for them to divide, Bellamy felt like things were finally starting to feel official, permanent, solid and he smiled at what all of this could mean for his life going forward.

 

 

 

_Meanwhile, back at the apartment..._

**Clarke:**

 

Clarke started her work for the day, it was so quiet that she needed to put music on so she could have some background noise to help her concentrate.

 

At noon she decided to give her mom a call and update her on life. Clarke told her about the people she met there, what she was doing to fill her time and that she had a great and safe place to live, she just didn’t mention the ‘who’ that she was living with.

 

Clarke wasn’t sure how people who knew her life before, her life with Wells, would feel about her being in a new relationship, and honestly, she wasn’t so sure she wanted to find out.

 

“Hey Clarke, how have you been? Still liking Vancouver?” Abby said when she picked up the phone.

 

“I do. It’s been a little over two months, and I still love everything I’ve got to see and experience so far. It’s so beautiful, I can’t wait until it’s Fall to see all of the true Fall colors I’ve never really seen. How are you and Raven?” Clarke inquired.

 

“We are good. Everything is the same as per usual here. As for Raven, I think she’s about one more argument away with Wick to either kissing him or throwing a tire iron at his head, let’s just hope for insurance sake it’s the former.” Abby laughed.

 

“I have been telling her for years that he is in love with her and the sooner she accepts it, the better working environment for everyone, so of course she’s doing the exact opposite.” Clarke joked.

 

“You are both just like your Father in that way. So, honey what’s new with you? Anything interesting happen lately?” she asked casually.

 

Clarke’s brain screamed ‘Yes, and he’s amazing, gorgeous, smart, sleeping next to me every night and oh yeah, he’s my roommate that I haven’t told you about’ but instead she said, “A friend of mine had a birthday over the weekend, so our group cooked and I made a cake and we played games and such. It was a fun time, and I’m glad that I met these people.”

 

“That sounds amazing honey! Raven and I shipped your boxes you asked for out on Friday, so they should get to you soon. We can’t wait to visit and see this place. We will have to make a plan for the fall, maybe Canadian Thanksgiving since it’s in October? Then maybe you could come home and do Thanksgiving here in November?” she suggested.

 

“I will see what everyone does for Thanksgiving here, and will let you know.” I paused for a second, then “Mom, I’m really happy here. Should I feel guilty that I’m really happy, or feel guilty if I don’t feel guilty? I just don’t know how to navigate all of that.” Clarke said a bit exhausted by it all.

 

“No honey. You are supposed to be happy with your life. No matter what has happened in the past, no one deserves to be miserable or feel the weight of guilt all of the time.” then she said the one thing Clarke keep telling herself, but she needed to hear from someone else, someone who knew the whole of her, “He would want you to be happy. You know that, be happy for yourself, and if you ever wonder if you should feel guilty for that, just know that he wouldn’t want you to be miserable and spend your life like that. You survived, now it’s time for you to live baby girl. I love you, talk soon? You know where to find me if you need anything, I'm always here Clarke.”

 

“I love you too Mom. Thank you for everything, it’s not always so easy to hash this out with people who have never been through it, but I’m learning how to let people in and see me and trust them with that part of my life. I will talk to you later. Make sure Raven gets Wicks before he gets wise.” Clarke joked.

 

They said their goodbyes, and Clarke felt like a weight had been lifted off of her. She walked out onto the balcony and looked out over the city, the city that she now called home and felt like she could start to breathe a little bit more again.

 

 

Clarke hit the gym a little bit earlier than usual, and had worked up a sweat by the time Harper had walked in to the Kickboxing classroom, it was a new thing they had been trying. “What’s wrong?” she immediately said.

 

“What? Nothing is wrong. I had a little bit of extra time and nervous energy that I wanted to work off so I could actually focus come class time.” Clarke shrugged as she went at the bag again, and then Nate walked in.

 

“Ah Fuck, what did he do already?” he said annoyed.

 

“What?” Harper and Clarke responded at the same time.

 

“This isn’t about something Bellamy did or didn’t do?” he asked gesturing to Clarke and then the bag she was just hitting.

 

“No, not at all. He’s been at work with you all day, I just had some free time to warm up before class.” Clarke assured both of them.

 

“Okay, if you’re sure then. Let’s get the music going.” Nate said as he walked over to the loud speaker in the corner of the room to hook up his iPod.

 

The three of them joined this class as a good way for Nate to teach them self-defense and for all of them to work out everyday life frustrations. And it helped that it was one hell of a high intense cardio workout too.

 

They had a 45-minute class, then would do a cool down at the juice bar before heading their  separate ways to go home for the evening, to meet back up on Wednesday.

 

 

It was still light out since it was summer time, so Clarke enjoyed her quick evening walk back to the apartment on nights like tonight.

 

She got upstairs, and opened the door to their apartment when she was hit with an amazingly delicious smell, “So you work all day, just to come home and cook too?” she joked as she came around to the kitchen to see Bellamy stirring something on the stove.

 

He looked back at her and smiled, while reaching out his hand for her. Clarke walked over to him and he pulled her into his side and kissed her on top of her head, “Hello to you too. I missed you today. How was class?”

 

“Class was good, although I got there a bit early and Harper and Nate were convinced that you must have screwed something up and pissed me off since I had already worked up quite a sweat by the time they got there. I assured them that everything here was great.” as Clarke smiled up at him.

 

“My girl was just in the mood to get a little extra ass-kicking moves in, and trust me I know that you could take me, so I will continue to be on my best behavior.” he said as he tickled her side.

 

“Okay, okay. I need to go get cleaned up, then I will help you out in here.” she told him as she started to walk towards her bathroom, but before she could he pulled her back to his chest and kissed her slow and deep.

 

“Sorry, I haven’t been able to do that all day, I didn’t want to wait any longer. Go, this will be ready for you when you are done.” he said sweetly. Yeah, she could come home to this every day and be happy forever.

 

 

 

The rest of the week went the same. Bellamy would wake up and make coffee before leaving for the office and Clarke would wake up and work around the apartment, catch up with her other friends that were scattered abroad, meet Harper and Emori for Dance class, or Harper and Nate for Kickboxing Class, then Bellamy and Clarke would make dinner together, relax their evenings away and then fall asleep together, before doing it all over again.

 

 

It was on Thursday when Clarke saw Tavi, their dance instructor and she had to ask, “So, did it work? The dance your non-boyfriend/roommate saw?” wiggling her eyebrows at Clarke.

 

 

“You were right. Worked like a charm, then again the next day and the next day and the rest of the weekend. We are officially exclusive now. He just needed a gentle nudge.” Clarke said as Tavi squealed in happiness.

 

 

“Damn Girl, get it!” she said as they began class for the day.

 

 

Friday night rolled around, and Bellamy came home looking like a kid on Christmas Morning. “What’s going on?” Clarke asked a bit skeptically.

 

 

“My Sister’s Fiancé is opening his art gallery exhibit on Sunday and she really wants to meet you, so I was hoping that you would be my plus one.” he said shyly, like she would even consider saying no to him.

 

 

“Of course, I would love to go with you! How could you even think that I would be anywhere else?” Clarke said as she walked over to him and gave him a quick kiss. “We are meeting at Harper and Monty’s house for game night tonight. We can go as soon as you’re ready and these cookies cool off so I can pack them up.” she told him.

 

“Well, let's see. Those need time to cool off, and I need help getting undressed so I can put on other clothes, care to give me a hand.” Bellamy said with a wicked grin as he lunged forward and threw Clarke over his shoulder as he carried her to his bedroom.

 

They were a little bit late to Harper and Monty’s, and everyone had a knowing smirk on their face as soon as they walked into the house, “We brought cookies?” Clarke said sheepishly.

 

“Forgiven.” they all said in unison and Murphy got up to snatch the cookies from Clarke, while Bellamy tried to hide his laughter behind her.


	33. 3 words, 8 letters. Say it and I’m yours.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy introduces Clarke to his Family, and a funny discovery is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love bringing in characters I adore from the show. Here is Octavia and Lincoln Finally!

_Later that weekend, on Sunday Morning..._

  
**Bellamy:**

  
Bellamy woke up so excited for the day. His sister’s fiancé, who was like a brother to him at this point, was finally having his art exhibited at a time Bellamy could actually be there to see it in person, and Octavia wanted to meet Clarke.

 

Bellamy hadn’t told either of them much about the other, because his sister can be a bit intense at first, and Bellamy didn’t want her to have all this info on Clarke before meeting her in person.

 

He was also incredibly happy that Clarke accepted to coming to meet what is essentially the only family that he has left, outside of their friend group, and she didn’t even hesitate or question it.

  
“I can hear you thinking.” she said sleepily.

  
Seeing Clarke lay in his bed, wrapped in nothing but his sheet in the morning is something that will never get old to him. “I’m sorry babe. I was just thinking about today. I’m so glad that you are finally meeting my family. My sister and Lincoln are who I have outside of our friends, so I’m happy that you will get to be a part of this part of my life too.” Bellamy told her as he kissed her shoulder.

  
“Me too. I need all the dirt on you growing up.” she teased as he tickled her. “But, seriously. I’m glad that you want to include me in this part of your life.” she smiled up at him.

  
“I want to include you in every part of my life, Clarke. I...” it was there, on the tip of his tongue, “You’re very important to me, and I want everyone I love to be able to know you too.” he settled on.

  
Clarke leaned up and kissed him, “Coffee?” she asked simply.

  
“You stay here, I got it. Don’t move, stay just like this, wait for me.” he told her as he slowly got out of bed with a smile.

  
“Did you just quote McDreamy to me!?” she said in surprise.

  
“What do you expect when we’ve been binge watching Grey’s Anatomy lately?” Bellamy said with a wink as he went to the kitchen to get their morning coffee ready.

 

When he came back to his bedroom, Clarke was looking right at him with a huge grin, “What did you do?” he asked half skeptical and half amused.

  
“Why would you think that I did something?” Clarke said with a sweet smile.

  
“Because you are not a morning person, especially before coffee,” Bellamy said as he handed her mug to her, “So forgive me for thinking that smile means anything but something good.” he continued.

  
“I’m a morning person, when that morning happens to include you, a comfy bed and coffee.” she smiled back at him.

  
“Okay, I'll buy that.” he said as he snuggled back into the bed with her, coffee in hand. This was how mornings were meant to be spent for sure.

 

 

They had to finally drag themselves out of bed in order to get ready for the Art Show at 1pm.

 

Bellamy picked a button down pastel checkered shirt with Khakis. Since it was a daytime showing in the summer, he didn’t have to bother with formal wear, to which he was grateful.

 

Clarke had been in her room for almost a half hour, trying to figure out what to wear. Bellamy never understood that dilemma with his sister either, but he thought the slight panic maybe had more to do with meeting his sister than finding something to wear for an art gallery.

 

Bellamy walked into Clarke’s room slowly as the door was already halfway opened, to see her standing in a long t-shirt just starting at her closet.

 

“Are you waiting for something to jump out at you and say ‘Pick me’!” Bellamy joked as he hugged her from behind.

  
“Wouldn’t that be so much easier?” she answered.

  
“Semi-casual, Daytime, Summer. Like something you would wear to brunch with the girls or something.” he told her as he continued to hold her, and try to help calm her nervous energy. “My sister is going to love you, just like everyone else does. Probably more that she likes me.” Bellamy told her confidently.

  
“Also, like everyone else does.” Clarke joked.

  
“See, you have nothing to worry about.” Bellamy told her as he kissed her cheek.

  
“But, on the off chance she doesn’t like me...” she started to say, until Bellamy cut her off.

  
“She will. There is nothing about you that she could not like.” he told her.

  
“Coming into her brothers perfectly good life and bringing my baggage along could be a start.” she said with a deep exhale.

  
Bellamy turned her around to face him, because this was not how anyone else saw her. He knew Clarke had things she held onto and feels like she’s damaged from, but he had to let her know, “I do not see it that way. No one else sees you that way. Clarke, we all have a past, it’s what makes us the person we are today. You didn’t ask for the hand you were dealt, and it’s not baggage unless you let something out of your control weigh you down.” Bellamy told her as he gently put his hand on her cheek.

”Every part of you, past and present, is exactly who you are meant to be, and that is the woman that I love.”

  
Clarke’s eyes widen in surprise, so he finished, “I have loved you, pretty much since the night I met you and heard your story back in Boston. I have tried to hold back saying it, for fear that it was too soon for you or for us, but screw time. Whether it’s a year or a day, when you know you know, and I know that I love you.” Bellamy declared to her.

  
She looked down, let out the deep breath she was holding, and then she looked back up at him with a huge smile, “You do want to get to this art show at some point, right?” Clarke said with a raised eyebrow, “Because a declaration like that is just asking to get back in bed and stay forever, because I love you too and was too scared to tell you.” she said with a watery laugh as she was tearing up.

  
Bellamy gently brushed the single tear that fell down her cheek and kissed her soundly, “Thank God, because for a second there I thought you were going to say ‘thank you’ or some other rejection.” he half joked.

  
“You idiot.” she laughed as she put her arms around his neck and pulled him closer for another kiss.

 

Before either of them could escalate it any further, Bellamy pulled back and told her, “Pick some clothes out already. The sooner we leave, the sooner we can come back and finish this.” he said as be kissed her forehead and walked over to her closet.

  
“Tease.” Clarke grumbled behind him.

  
“I learned from the best.” Bellamy said with a devious smile over his should at her. “What about this one?” he said as he pulled a dress out of her closet.

  
Clarke took the knee length, sleeveless dress out of his hand and looked it over. It was covered in tiny pale blue and yellow flowers. It made her look like the sun, bright and fun.

  
“You are supposed to be an expert on getting me out of clothes, not putting them on.” she said with a raised eyebrow, “But, you did pick a good one. I ‘ll be ready in 10 minutes.” Clarke said as she walked to her bathroom to finish getting ready.

  
Every day Bellamy felt like they had made progress in their lives and relationship, and today was a big step, one that he was glad they were taking together. Now to take another one by meeting his family.

 

Clarke came out ready to go, and Bellamy couldn’t help but just smile when he looked at her, “Ready?” he asked her.

  
“Let’s do this.” she said as she reached for his hand and they left to head to the art gallery.

 

 

_At the Art Gallery on the North Side..._

  
**Clarke:**

  
Clarke couldn’t help but smile the whole way to the art gallery, all nerves vanished after Bellamy’s speech.

 

He loved her, every part of her. That was something that she didn’t think she could ever have again. Every time she looked over at him while they drove, he instantly would look back at her and have the brightest smile on his face. How could she feel anything but happy, calm and safe with him by her side?

 

  
They pulled into the parking lot that was packed out. They made their way inside and was instantly met with champagne, now this is how to Sunday Funday right.

 

Bellamy and Clarke started making their way around the different paintings. Clarke went to a Liberal Arts School, but she still felt out of her element with this type of art. She knew what she thought looked pretty, but as far as seeing the interpretation or figuring out the emotion each painting was trying to convey, she was still new to.

  
“Don’t worry, I don’t know how to talk sophisticatedly about this stuff either.” Bellamy whispered into her ear, like he could hear exactly what she was thinking. “I’m going to go see if I can find my sister in this crowd, are you okay here?” he asked her.

  
“Yeah, go ahead.” Clarke said with a smile, and he squeezed her hand, then went off into the crowd to look for his sister.

 

As soon as he disappeared into the throngs of people, Clarke heard someone call her name.  
“Clarke! Hey, I'm so glad and surprised to see you here!” Tavi said as she gave her a tight hug.

  
“Hey! My roommate, or I guess I should call him my boyfriend now invited me to come. What are you doing here, besides enjoying the art?” Clarke asked her.

  
“Well, this is my fiancé’s show, so I’m here being supportive and enjoying the champagne.” she said with a wink, “So where is this boyfriend I have heard so much about. I have to meet him!” she said excitedly.

  
Then all of the sudden everything started to click. Bellamy’s sister, Octavia, is the one with the fiancé showcasing his art here today, and Tavi’s fiancé was the one showcasing his art today.

 

Clarke must have looked like a cartoon with the way her eyes were coming out of her head at the realization, because Tavi looked at her and asked, “Whoa, what’s wrong Clarke?” she asked concerned.

 

  
“I think...” then Clarke was cut off by Bellamy calling his sisters name from behind her.

 

  
“Hey Octavia, I was looking for you. I see you already met Clarke, my roommate and girlfriend.” he said oblivious to both his sister’s and Clarke’s shocked expressions.

 

  
“Wait, Clarke is your roommate and now girlfriend?” Tavi asked her brother, “And my brother is your roommate and boyfriend?” she asked a bit amused at the situation.

 

  
“Wait, what’s going on?” Bellamy asked incredulously.

 

  
“I’m Clarke’s dance instructor. Have been for a few months now, ever since she came to Vancouver.” Octavia said with a smirk, and Clarke could now very clearly see the resemblance.

 

  
“I had no idea! You said your name was Tavi, and it didn’t occur to me that is was short for Octavia, the sister he talks about.” Clarke said as she put her hand over her face, “I am so sorry for the content of our conversations in class now.” Clarke told Octavia, who was laughing at the whole situation.

 

  
“I’m still lost. You two know each other, and knew each other before I even knew you were here?” Bellamy asked Clarke.

 

  
“Yeah, twice a week for over 2 months now. Small world.” Clarke said trying to make light of the situation.

 

  
“Well I’ll be damned. I have never seen him left so speechless before. I’m going to go find Lincoln and bring him over here, this is too good for him not to see with his own eyes.” Octavia said as she rushed off to find her fiancé.

 

  
“So, you have been taking dance classes from my sister for months now, and you didn’t know she was my sister?” he asked trying to slowly put everything together, then, “Oh God, so she was the one that has been teaching you all of those dances, including the one I saw in your class!?” he realized in horror.

 

  
“I’m afraid so.” Clarke said as she gently patted his shoulder, “But trust me, she should be more scared, considering she and I talked about how that ended for us that entire weekend.” Clarke admitted.

 

  
Bellamy looked over at Clarke like a deer in headlights, then she just smiled and laughed, “Well, at least we don’t have to worry about her hating me. If we can get through that we can get through anything.”

 

  
“Now you want to be optimistic? I need to get all thoughts of my sister knowing and teaching that kind of thing out of my head. I need more champagne.” Bellamy said as he grabbed her hand and dragged her towards the bar, laughing at how stunned he still was.

 

  
“You know, if I wouldn’t have known how to do those dances, who knows how much longer it would’ve taken you to make a move.” Clarke reminded him.

 

  
“Not helping.” he said mock serious, then a smile broke out on his face.

 

  
“Here they are!” Octavia shouted, dragging her fiancé with her, “This is Clarke, one of my dance students, and also Bellamy’s girlfriend and roommate, and none of us knew the other knew the other one. Golden right?” she said explaining the situation to her fiancé.

 

  
“Well, it’s nice to meet you Clarke, and thank you to the both of you for coming and giving Octavia some entertainment.” he said with a shy smile.

 

  
The four of them then went around the gallery with Lincoln pointing out different information on each of the paintings, and it was a fun, eventful and surprising afternoon.

 

  
As Bellamy and Clarke got ready to leave and were saying their goodbyes, “I’ll see you in class on Tuesday.” Octavia said as she gave Clarke a hug goodbye.

 

  
Once they got out to the car and started heading back home, Bellamy asked, “You’re still going to do classes with her, knowing she is my sister?”

 

  
“Of course. She’s really good at what she does, and I really like her. Is that okay with you?” Clarke asked genuinely wanting to know if it was going to be okay with him.

 

  
“On one condition, no more girl talk about out sex life.” Bellamy said.

 

  
“Oh, way ahead of you there, babe.” Clarke said as they laughed.


	34. I’ll love you forever, forever and always.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy’s new job takes it toll, so it’s up to the girls to help offer some reprieve.

Bellamy and Clarke spent the next few weeks the same as before, with the addition of Octavia and Lincoln to their group nights.

 

Everyone got a huge kick out of the realization of how they all knew each other at the art gallery.

 

Clarke still took classes with Octavia on Tuesdays and Thursdays with Emori and Harper.

 

Bellamy was starting to feel the weight of his new position, having to divvy out all of the assignments, run team meetings, edit and critique initial ideas before sending them off to LA for approval, as well as his own writings.

 

He would sometimes come home and still have a stack of things to accomplish, so he could relax on the weekends. About once a month Nate and Murphy would come over and the three of them would try to do final edits before sending them to the corporate office, so Clarke started a girl’s night whenever that would happen.

 

Clarke, Harper, Emori and Octavia would do face masks, wine, and movie night, while the guys worked for a whole day non-stop.

 

This continued until the end of the summer, when the subject of Bellamy’s birthday came up, “I haven’t been able to celebrate my brother’s birthday with him in a few years. I want to do something special!” Octavia suggested.

 

“It’s Labor Day weekend, right?” Harper asked.

 

“It’s the Thursday after, but we could use the long weekend to celebrate. He wouldn’t see it coming since it’s not on his actual birthday, and God knows he needs a break. This new position is kicking his ass.” Clarke told them.

 

“How about a beach house for all of us for the long weekend, one last hurrah before the official end of summer?” Octavia said.

 

“That sounds like perfection! I’m in.” Emori said, and Harper nodded in agreement.

 

“I’ll look into it. We can eat, drink and hang out at the beach and relax all weekend. What do you think Clarke?” Octavia asked me.

 

“Sounds like the best Birthday Ever!” Clarke told her, then they all started making plans for the weekend coming up soon to surprise Bellamy.

 

 

Clarke got home around 1am, to see Bellamy absolutely passed out on the couch with his reading glasses on and papers spread out all over the coffee table. She walked over to him and bent down to gently brush his cheek, and his eyes slowly fluttered open, “Hey boss man, why don’t you try sleeping in a bed?” Clarke said with a smile.

 

He really was working himself crazy lately, and she could not wait to give him a long weekend away from work. “Hey, how was girl’s night?” he asked with a sleepy voice.

 

Clarke slowly helped him up to his feet and started leading him down the hall, “It was fun. I came back with Emori, who went over to Murphy’s to make sure he was in his own bed, and that ya’ll weren’t still up working.” she told him as she was about to open his bedroom door.

 

“No, Nate’s in there asleep. We got most of what we needed done, but I had a few things left to finish up, so he’s crashing in my room tonight so we can finish in the morning.” he said as he led her towards her room.

 

“You could’ve slept in my bed, I wouldn’t ever object to coming home and seeing you asleep in here.” Clarke said with a smile.

 

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep on the couch, I figured I would work until you got back so we could go to sleep together, but I must have passed out at some point.” he said as he crawled into her bed.

 

Clarke crawled into bed after him and he pulled her against his chest, “I know you’re in a new place and a new position, but I want you to make sure you’re taking care of yourself too, and not letting work control you. Learning to delegate is what makes a great manager you know.” Clarke said softly.

 

“I know, I’m working on it, that’s why I have Nate and Murphy here to help me. I think it’s just growing pains and will even out after a few more weeks. It’s only been about a month since we opened the new office, this is to be expected.” he explained.

 

“Yes, but surviving on 5-6 hours of sleep, coffee and power bars are not the way to do it mister. We aren’t in college anymore.” Clarke joked.

 

“Murphy literally used the phrase ‘You’re no spring chicken anymore Blake’ to me today.” he scoffed, “Like I would ever want to be a chicken, and Fall is clearly my season.” he laughed as he snuggled closer to her.

 

“Well, whatever I can do to help let me know. We can go to bed earlier, I can get back from the gym early enough to have dinner ready by the time you get back, and I will force feed you regular food during the day if I see one more power bar wrapper in your office.” Clarke said seriously.

 

“But I like doing things like cooking dinner and decompressing at the end of the day with you. I don’t want to just come home, eat and go straight to bed. And I promise I will better about feeding myself real food during the day, but I will never turn down a lunch offer.” Bellamy said as he kissed the top of her head.

 

“Well, tomorrow is Saturday, so finish whatever you need to and then let’s have some fun. You do remember what that is right?” Clarke teased him.

 

“Oh, I am well aware and if I wasn’t so dead right now, I would take you up on that innuendo.” Bellamy said as he tickled her side.

 

“Good night” Clarke said to him.

 

“Night babe.”

 

 

 

When Bellamy and Clarke woke up the next morning to banging in the kitchen, they both looked at each other in confusion, until they remember, “Nate is probably looking for coffee.” Bellamy said still half asleep.

 

“You stay here, I’ll go help him.” Clarke offered as she dragged herself out of bed. Clarke walked into the kitchen to see Nate finally getting the coffee machine working. “Rough night?” she asked him as she sat at the counter.

 

“You could say that. We read so much I could feel my eyes starting to cross.” he said as he grabbed 2 mugs from the cabinet.

 

“I’m glad ya’ll have each other for these things. Oh, before he comes out, I wanted to tell you us girls are planning a surprise Labor Day weekend getaway to a beach house for Bellamy’s birthday in a couple of weeks. So, it could be a good time to bring your plus one that’s always too busy to come to group night.” Clarke said with a wink.

 

Nate poured them both a cup of coffee, and leaned against the counter across from her, “Maybe, I’ll ask. Sounds like fun, and I’m in.” he said just as they heard Bellamy come out of her room.

 

Bellamy shuffled towards the cabinet with the coffee mugs and pour himself a cup full, before he came and sat next to Clarke and laid his head heavily on her shoulder, “Morning sunshine.” she said lightly as she ran her fingers through his messy curls. He just grunted and put both arms around her waist.

 

“Thanks for letting me crash last night, I finished the last of the entries. They are on top of your laptop for final approval.” Nate gestured towards the living room. “Now, I will see you on tonight for game night, and no more work after this for the rest of the weekend. Are you two still doing game night with everyone later?”

 

“I am, and I promise to bring Bell and not this old grump that has taken over his body here lately.” Clarke laughed as Bellamy tried to tickle her.

 

“Good, we could use a beer or four. See you two later.” Nate said as he finished off his coffee.

 

“Later man, thanks for finishing those. I owe you.” Bellamy said as Nate left.

 

Bellamy and Clarke sat in silence and finished their coffee, before they headed over to the couch. He grabbed the last few pages and his laptop to enter in the info, and Clarke started cleaning up all of the other stuff that was left overnight.

 

She was putting the books back on the book shelf, and was stacking up the papers on his desk for him to sort through later, then she started grabbing all of the crumpled-up papers to put in garbage when something caught her eye. She unfolded it and read the words ‘Young, Widowed, Learning and Living’. It was in Bellamy’s handwriting. 

 

Clarke didn’t want to jump to any conclusions, and since he crumpled it up and tossed it, she figured she shouldn’t worry about it.

 

By the time Bellamy was done, he closed his laptop, let out a long sigh, then looked around to see that everything was cleaned up, “You didn’t have to do that. I’m sorry everything was such a mess.” he said shyly.

 

“It’s okay, it gave me something to do while you finished up. What would you like to do with your free time today?” Clarke asked with a smile.

 

“I would love to go back to bed with you and take a nice and well-deserved nap, before we head out later tonight. I don’t want to be the old guy falling asleep by 9pm.” he laughed.

 

“Oh sweetie, that’s always been you.” she said as he threw a pillow at her from the couch. She caught it and threw it back, “So, I know you’ve been crazy busy trying to get everyone else set up on their new projects, I was wondering if you’ve started anything new lately?”

 

“I haven’t. I still have projects I have to finish, and that’s all I have time for with everything else going on. I’m hoping to be finished and caught up by the fall so I can start a new series of leads.” he explained as he stood up and grabbed her hand, leading her back towards her room.

 

“Still looking for that story to turn into a script?” Clarke asked as they laid back down on the bed facing each other.

 

“I am. I want to tell a relatable, important and gripping story. Something that’s not really out there right now.” Bellamy said playing with a strand of her hair.

 

“I’m sure it’s out there. I’ve read your stuff, and you can pull it together if it’s there. I have faith in you.” Clarke admitted to him.

 

“God, I have missed you. This right here, just you and me is exactly what I need. It clears up all the mess going on in my head, melts the stress and worry away and gives me the focus to keep going.” Bellamy said as he leaned in to kiss her.

 

“I haven’t gone anywhere, I’m always here, you know that.” she laughed.

 

“I’m telling you, co-working space in my office together would solve all my problems.”

 

“And create many more, like distractions. But I promise, especially when things are busy for you, that I will come up there and have lunch with you and help you in any way that I can to talk things out.” Clarke promised.

 

“That is the best thing I could ever ask for.” he said pulling her closer to his chest, “Now let’s sleep, so your grumpy old boyfriend can hang with you cool kids tonight.” he laughed as he kissed her forehead.

 

 

 

Later that night Bellamy was like a new person. He was refreshed, laughing, drinking, shouting at his sister for cheating at Cards Against Humanity and he seemed so much lighter.

 

Clarke missed this Bellamy, and as she looked at him from Octavia’s Kitchen to where he was sitting in the living room, he looked back at her and smiled brightly with a wink, then turned back to something the guys were saying.

 

“You love him, right?” Octavia asked next to her.

 

“I really do.” Clarke said simply.

 

“He knows, right?” she asked.

 

“Yeah, he knows. He knows everything actually, and loves me even still.” Clarke told her.

 

“Geez, Lincoln and I need to get our shit together and have a wedding, before you and Bellamy do.” Octavia said like it was the most common thing in the world.

 

Clarke started to choke a little bit on her drink, “I don’t think we are there yet.” She finally got out.

 

“Why not?” Octavia asked.

 

“Not even a year ago he was with somebody else. He said they wanted different things, but never said what they were, and I never wanted to push. He knows about my past relationships, so I wouldn’t think that he would even have that on his mind, not this soon anyway.” Clarke explained.

 

“But aren’t you the one that said time was a subjective thing? That every person and situation was different? It’s not a one size fits all in life Clarke, you know that. Don’t walk on egg shells thinking it’s coming, but I’m saying don’t think it’s out of left field that the thought has occurred to him at some point.” Octavia said as squeezed her shoulder and went to rejoin the group.

 

Clarke just stood there a little stunned. Things were great with Bellamy and her, they were happy, busy, in their routine, and things were good.

 

Clarke thought back to how he would say things like ‘Forever, the rest of my life, Everyday’ and it dawned on her, that the thought has occurred to him, but has it occurred to her that this is where this could be going?


	35. The sun will set for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group heads to the beach to celebrate Bellamy’s birthday and the end of summer.

The next two weeks passed as the usually did. Bellamy took Clarke’s suggestions serious about sleeping more, and eating actual food.

 

Twice a week Clarke would bring him lunch and hang out with him in his office while he worked, and she would read one of his books until she headed to one of her gym or dance classes, and they were falling into a great new normal.

 

  
It was Friday, the day they would all be headed to the beach house. Harper, Monty, Octavia and Lincoln were headed there this afternoon to setup everything for the surprise, and Bellamy rode with Murphy to work this morning so Emori and Clarke could pack up Bellamy’s SUV with the stuff they needed for the weekend.

 

The girls headed to Manning Publishers together, and went up to the guys offices.  
When they got there, Emori and Murphy left shortly after with a wink to Clarke that said they would be seeing them soon at the beach house.

 

Clarke walked into Bellamy’s office and waited for him to finish up. It was almost 5pm, and they were the last people in the office, so hopefully they would be taking off soon. It was about an hour away, so they would get there just in time for everyone to be ready with dinner on the big open deck overlooking the pacific for a sunset dinner.

 

  
“Okay, I am officially done. No more work until I come back to the office on Tuesday.” Bellamy said as he closed his laptop and stood up to stretch and grab his messenger bag. “You look amazing by the way.” he said as he kissed her cheek and they headed out to lock up and leave.

 

  
“Thank you, sir. New sundress I found with the girls last week. Wanted to get some use out of it before Summer is officially over.” Clarke said.

 

  
“So, what are we doing this weekend?” Bellamy asked as he started walking to the driver side door, only for Clarke to stop him and gesture to the passenger seat.

 

  
“I have a surprise for you, so I will be doing the driving.” She told him with a sweet smile.

 

   
“Okay, does that surprise include dinner?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

  
“It does, if we can get moving. C’mon, we need to get going.” Clarke told him as they got into the car.

 

 

  
They had been driving and talking about their day, and what they were looking forward to that was coming up once Fall temps came in, then he noticed we were leaving the city and looked over at Clarke, “Where are we going?” he asked genuinely confused.

 

  
“I told you, it’s a surprise. No more questions, tell me about what you’ve been working on.” Clarke told him, and that was enough to distract him for the rest of the ride.

 

  
They were getting closer to the coast, so Clarke pulled over on the side of the road in almost the middle of nowhere and pulled a blindfold out, “Now I need you to trust me. I told you this was a surprise and we are almost there.” she said as she handed him the blindfold.

 

  
“If it was anyone else, I would seriously question this, but as long as we can put this to good use later, I’ll play along.” Bellamy said with a devious wink as he put it over his eyes.

 

  
“You would.” Clarke said laughing, as she pulled back onto the road and then shortly pulled up to the house they had rented.

 

She parked and turned the car off, “Now I’m going to come around and get you, so no peaking.” she warned him.

 

  
All of their friends were standing on the big front porch up the stairs, waiting to yell surprise at him.

 

Clarke walked around to the passenger side door, looking up at all of them smiling in anticipation. She opened his door and grabbed his hand. Once she shut the door, they walked to the very front of the house, and she told him he could go ahead and take his blindfold off.

 

  
As soon as he took it off, everyone yelled ‘Surprise!’ and Bellamy looked up at everyone and smiled, then looked over at Clarke, “What is all this?” he asked incredulously.

 

  
“This is our beach house for the long weekend to celebrate your birthday! You have been so swamped with work, and we all wanted to do a little get away and have some fun to celebrate with you.” Clarke explained.

 

  
Bellamy quickly reached one hand to her waist, pulling her to him, then the other hand to the back of her neck to kiss her.

 

They heard a bunch of cheers and wolf whistles coming from the deck above them, and Clarke started laughing, “I love you so much.” Bellamy said as he put her back on her feet.

 

  
“I love you too, now let’s party!” Clarke shouted and everyone cheered as they headed up the steps to get into the house.

 

 

  
The house was beautiful. It had 5 bedrooms, each with their own bathroom. It had a massive living and dining area that was open to the gourmet kitchen, and a large back deck with outdoor dining that overlooked the ocean with direct beach access just down the steps of the back deck.

 

The guys unloaded the rest of the stuff from the car, “You two are upstairs in the master suite. Last door on the right.” Octavia said as Clarke went to grab their bags to go put in their room.

 

  
“You guy’s, this is incredible. You didn’t have to do this, but thank you for doing it. This is exactly what I needed.” Bellamy said as he gave his sister a huge hug.

 

  
“You deserve it silly. Now go get changed and unpacked, dinner will be ready soon.” she instructed as Bellamy and Clarke took their bags upstairs.

 

  
They opened the door to the Master Suite and were taken back. It had a King-Sized canopy bed in the middle of the room, double doors that opened into a large and gorgeous bathroom, and the most amazing feature was the French doors that opened up onto a small balcony overlooking the ocean.

 

  
“Now this is what I call a suite.” Clarke said looking around in awe.

 

  
“This is incredible. Thank you so, so much for this.” Bellamy said as he set their bags down and went to hug Clarke.

 

  
“It was a team effort. Your sister found this place, and we just knew we had to come here.” Clarke told him as she looked up into his eyes.

 

  
“Thank you for being a part of this, for thinking of me, for knowing that I needed this break and most importantly for being here with me.” he said as he leaned his forehead onto hers.

 

“The best part of this past year of my life has been meeting you. I don’t think I could even be a fraction as happy as I am now, if your flight out of Boston wasn’t cancelled.”

 

  
“I feel the same way. I’m so glad we were given the chance to find each other again, and again and again.” Clarke said as she reach up onto her tiptoes and kissed him.

 

  
“Let me change really quick so we can join everyone else for dinner, before they come barging in demanding our presence.” Bellamy said jokingly.

 

  
“You know they would to. Price of being the guest of honor.” Clarke teased him.

 

 

She went to check out the balcony as Bellamy looked through the bag she packed for a change of clothes, so he could get out of his work clothes.

 

 

Once he was changed, Clarke looked over at him, “Ready?”

 

  
“With you? Always.” he said as he reached out to take her hand and they joined the group downstairs on the back deck for a delicious dinner.

 

 

  
The group was nearing the end of their Steak Dinner feast, and they were just about to light the candles on the cake when Octavia clinked a spoon on her wine glass and stood, “I just wanted to give a toast to my big brother. My biggest supporter, best friend, partner in crime and caretaker since day one for me. I am honored to be your sister, and Mom would be so freaking proud of you. Happy 34th Bell.” she finished as she started to tear up.

 

 

Bellamy squeezed Clarke’s hand as he kept his eyes trained on his sister, and she squeezed his back letting him know she was there.

 

  
They all sang ‘Happy Birthday’ loudly and off key as Bellamy blew out his candles. Clarke took the cake inside so she could cut and serve it up.

 

Octavia and Lincoln followed her inside with the dishes they had cleared from dinner, “This cake looks amazing! Have you ever thought about getting back into baking?” Octavia asked.

 

  
“I haven’t. It was a lot of work and very taxing for just one person, and I got to the point of hating it. I like that now it is more of a relaxing and tasty hobby.” Clarke said as she licked some frosting off of her finger after all of the cake was sliced and on plates for them to take back out to everyone.

 

  
“What about for private events? The art gallery is always doing events, and their sweets are usually sub-par at best. I would love to serve your stuff, and you wouldn’t even have to worry about it being a constant stress. It could be on a as you wanted to take them basis.” Lincoln added.

 

  
“As long as it didn’t involve me re-enabling my business, I would be happy to help you with some events here and there.” Clarke told him.

 

  
“Perfect, we can discuss this more when we aren’t on vacation, no work talks this weekend.” Octavia said as her, Lincoln and Clarke grabbed plates of cake to serve everyone.

 

  
They all sat out on the deck and ate their cake, had a few more drinks, and watched as the sun finally disappeared over the ocean. Some people were starting to turn in for the night, since most of them came right after a long day and week of work, and they were planning on a big breakfast before a full day on the beach tomorrow.

 

  
It was just Clarke, Bellamy, Nate and his ‘Friend’ Jackson. They met at the Gym, and was definitely not the reason that Nate joined that Gym right after meeting him. Yeah, right.

 

 

They got into an intense game of Uno, before Nate and Jackson decided to head to their room for the night as well, which just left Clarke and Bellamy.

 

  
“Care to join me for a,” he looked at his watch, “Almost midnight stroll?” Bellamy stood up and held his hand out to her.

 

  
“I would love to.” Clarke said as they descended the back-deck stairs to start walking along the beach.

 

 

The moon was high and full, which casted enough light for them to see once we were far enough away from the house lights. They walked hand in hand enjoying the breeze and the sound of the tide.

 

  
“I still can’t believe you all planned this trip for my birthday, and without me knowing! I was sure if anything was going on that one of you would’ve spilled.” Bellamy joked.

 

  
“Yeah well, Octavia pretty much threatened Murphy with his life, so the rest of us took note to keep our mouths shut.” Clarke laughed remembering the look of terror in Murphy’s  eyes.

 

  
Bellamy stopped their walk, and turned to face the water and sat in the sand, so Clarke joined him and rested her head on his shoulder, “This is absolutely perfect. Do you ever feel like things are too perfect, or that there is such a thing? Maybe I'm being cynical.” he said.

 

  
“Hey, I've been waiting to see if there was another shoe to drop since I saw you 3 months ago. I don’t think it’s being cynical, just maybe the fact that life isn’t always smooth and perfect. Whatever might come our way though, I’m here with you.” Clarke told him as she held onto his arm.

 

  
“That is the best thing I could ever hope for. How the hell did I get so lucky?” Bellamy asked as he looked down at her and smiled.

 

  
“I am the lucky one. You pulled me out of the pool of guilt I was drowning in. Gave me hope that life could be good again, and also gave me a place to live.” Clarke said as she nudged his shoulder.

 

  
“Thank you again for what promises to be a perfect weekend. Let’s get back to that amazing room of ours.” he said as they stood up and dusted off the sand. “Plus, I also noticed that it was further away from the closest room. Both Murphy and Emori’s bathroom and our bathroom separate our bedrooms.” Bellamy said with a wicked smile.

 

  
“Race you back.” Clarke said looking at him, while walking backwards towards the house.

 

  
They chased each other back to the house and up the stairs. When they got in the house, all of the lights were off, and it was quiet for a house with eight other people inside. They headed up the stairs to the end of the hall where their  room was, and they were barely inside before Bellamy picked Clarke up and carried her over to the bed.

 

  
They had found their rhythm as a couple, and were very in sync with what the other liked and how each of them worked.

 

Clarke could never get enough of him, his lips finding all of the sweet pressure points of her neck, behind her ear and across her jaw. His hands gripping her waist, and running up and down her ribs. Bellamy loved when she would combed her fingers in his hair and lightly scratched his back soothingly.

 

  
Clarke was sure that she could do this for the rest of her life. Just her and him. she didn’t think she needed anything else in the life, now that they found each other.

 

She felt that they each knew everything about the other. But just like life, not everything worth having is an easy road to get to.


	36. Here’s to never growing up.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beach day! Then Bellamy’s past tries to rear its ugly head.

_The next morning..._

  
**Bellamy:**

  
Bellamy woke up in a strange bed, and it was empty. He slowly sat up and looked around the room until he spotted a very familiar pair of legs standing on the balcony with one of his t-shirts on.

 

He slowly got out of bed, grabbed some shorts out of his bag and walked out to join her, hugging her from behind, “Good morning beautiful.”

 

  
Clarke leaned back into him, “Good morning to you. Sorry, I woke up and just loved the view of the low clouds hovering over the ocean this morning. It’s a very cool scene.” she said, as Bellamy looked down and noticed an opened sketch pad that he had never seen before.

 

  
“Getting a little inspired this morning?” He asked nuzzling his face into her neck.

 

  
“I was. It’s so beautiful here. I always felt so at peace near the coast. I love the calmness of the beach, looking out over an ocean as far as the eye could see. I haven’t sketched in a while. I use to sketch all the time to draw inspiration for cakes, but I haven’t done much since I was on my world-wide trip. Any coast I go to, I always have an itch to draw whatever colors are before me.” she explained.

 

  
“Well, I should get you out here more often. Anytime you want to find water, let me know and I will make it happen for you.” Bellamy told her as he kissed the side of her head.

 

  
“My hero!” Clarke sighed as she turned around and put her arms around his neck and leaned up for a kiss. “Ready for breakfast? We have a big day of fun ahead.”

 

  
“Coffee first, then we can look at breakfast.” Bellamy told her as they went back into their room to find clothes for the day.

 

 

By the time they got downstairs, Harper and Monty had already started breakfast, and thankfully a fresh pot of coffee.

 

They all ate the feast out on the deck, and then headed inside to change into their beach attire as the clouds dissipated and the sun was shining bright in the sky.

 

 

  
Nate and Bellamy set up a Beach volleyball net, while Murphy and Lincoln brought out a frisbee, football and soccer ball. The girls had a bunch of towels and blankets laid out, with a few chairs as well.

 

Monty and Jackson had brought down a couple of coolers with ice and drinks, and it appeared they were set for a day of fun.

 

  
The girls all laid out on their blankets getting in some sun and chatting while the guys took to a game of soccer and frisbee.

 

The guys then decided to play a game of volleyball and the girls insisted on Boys vs Girls, to which Monty and Murphy happily sat out and agreed to be the line judges.

 

Bellamy, Nate, Jackson and Lincoln were much larger in size to be able to cover more space, and taller for blocks and spikes, but they asked for it.

 

  
Bellamy knew his sister played pretty much any sport, and he knew Clarke had said she got her ACL injury while playing sand volleyball, but he didn’t think much of it. He definitely should have though. Apparently, Clarke played Volleyball all through Highschool and College, and Harper and Emori had played club ball as well.

 

 

The guys may have had height and size, but the girls were agile and sneaky, they knew how to play strategically and the guys ended up losing 3 games to 2.

 

  
They were all so hot by the time they were done, that most of them headed for a cool off in the ocean. Bellamy looked around before heading in himself to see Clarke at the ice chests chugging some water, “You coming in?” he asked her.

 

  
“You know how I feel about the Pacific. No amount of heat helps with how cold that thing is.” Clarke said as she pointed towards the water.

 

  
“But, it’s my birthday. And I want you to come in the water with me and everyone else. Please?” Bellamy pouted.

 

  
“Your birthday is Thursday, so...” Bellamy cut her off by picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder as he raced to the water with her before she could escape.

 

  
They both fell under the water as a wave came over them. When they came up for air Clarke’s eyes were wide and then turned murderous, “You are dead!” she yelled as she lunged forward and tackled Bellamy back into the water.

 

  
“You live on the West Coast now. It’s never going to be as warm as the Gulf or Atlantic. C’mon babe, I’m trying to help you acclimate.” Bellamy pointed out.

 

  
“Then get over here and keep me from freezing to death.” she said as she started chattering.

 

  
Bellamy made his way across the water and held her against his chest as he rubbed his hands up and down her arms, “Better?” he asked.

 

  
“Yes, you are forgiven.” she said as he felt her smile against his neck.

 

  
“You only use me for my body heat huh?” Bellamy joked.

 

  
“Don’t ask questions, you don’t want the answer to.” Clarke laughed.

 

 

With that Bellamy picked her back up and they fell back under the water.

 

 

  
After a few more minutes, the two of them joined everyone else on the beach as they were drying off so they could get lunch started.

 

  
Bellamy and Lincoln grilled burgers and chicken out on the deck, while everyone else went inside and grabbed the rest of the food for lunch so they could eat outside.

 

 

  
Once everyone was all filled and cleaned up, they headed back to the beach for a little touch football.

 

Lincoln and Bellamy were chosen as captains. Of course, Lincoln’s first pick went to Octavia and Bellamy’s went to Clarke. Then Lincoln took Harper and Bellamy took Nate, Murphy to Lincoln and Jackson to Bellamy, then Lincoln took Monty and Bellamy took Emori to finish out the teams.

 

  
They played an intense game, and all ended up laughing when Murphy gave up the game winning point to Emori because he ’Didn’t want to sleep on the couch for the rest of the weekend’.

 

  
It was nearing 5pm when they all packed up the beach stuff and headed back into the house to clean up. Clarke and Bellamy, like most everybody else decided to shower and take a nap after being out in the sun all day.

 

 

  
They decided to get dressed up and go out to a restaurant later that night followed by a bar nearby. Everyone was walking from the restaurant down the strip to the bar they had heard about when Bellamy felt his phone vibrating. He just ignored it, until it vibrated twice more.

 

  
It was an unsaved number with a missed call and a text message. The text read, ‘I found some of your books here. If you want me to ship them to you, send me your address and I’ll get them to you this week.’

 

  
Bellamy just stared at the message for a minute. He hadn’t heard from Echo in months, and now she had some of his stuff she wanted to send him?

 

He didn’t want to give her his new address, because he was happy with Clarke and didn’t want to worry about anything screwing that up. Bellamy sent her the address of the new office and not another word, then he turned his phone on silent.

 

  
“Hey, are you okay?” Clarke asked, looking at him with a questioning look.

 

  
“Yeah, I’m good. Let’s go have some fun.” Bellamy assured her.

 

 

 

Everyone had a good time at the bar, and Bellamy knew that everyone could tell he was a little off, so he supplemented his silence with drinks.

 

By the time they got back to the house, Bellamy was a little far gone. It took Murphy and Nate both to get him upstairs and to his room.

 

They left him on the bed when Clarke walked in, looking a bit more sober than he was, “You okay there?” she asked as she set a few bottles of water on the night stand.

 

  
“Perfect.” Bellamy said with a lazy smile.

 

  
“If you don’t want to talk about it, then I’m not going to push you. But ever since you got a message on your phone after dinner, you have been acting strange. And I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drink as much as you did tonight, so if you want to talk, I'm here.” she told him.

 

  
Bellamy slowly got off of the bed, took his belt off, and unbuttoned his shirt and went and stood out on the balcony to let the fresh air hit his face.

 

 

“Remember my ex? The one I told you about? That we wanted different things so we ended it after 3 years?” Bellamy asked her.

 

  
She slowly came to sit next to me outside, “Yeah. Is that what this is about?” she asked a bit nervously.

 

  
“Yes, and No. I mean I never told you the whole story, and I feel like I owe you that. I just don’t want to make the same mistakes.”

 

 

Clarke nodded for him to continue, “I worked out of town a lot, and I really hated LA, so any reason I could find to not be there, I used. She loved it in LA and was trying to further her acting career and hated that I was always gone. I wanted to find a more permanent life somewhere outside of that lifestyle, settle down, maybe have a family. But she didn’t want that. She wanted to live the LA life, the fame, the hustle and all of the ‘stay young forever’ attitude. I love to let loose and have fun, but I also wanted stability, it’s not something I had a lot growing up, no matter how much my mom tried.”

 

”Then I jumped right into a crazy busy traveling career. She ultimately told me to pick her and choose the path she wanted to stay on, or go and do what I wanted. I should’ve left then, but I stayed for another 6 months or so, until I finally cracked and told her that I couldn’t be who she wanted anymore, and that was that.” Bellamy finished.

 

  
“I know what that feels like. I’m sorry that it came down to an ultimatum.” she said genuinely.

 

  
“I say all of that to say, that I want to make sure we are on the same page. Because I don’t think I could ever not choose you if it ever came down to it. I know we are far off from those types of big decisions and maybe even these types of conversations, I don’t know, but I just don’t want to end up finding out later that we don’t have the same end goal.” Bellamy told her honestly.

 

  
“I have been through the ringer once, Bellamy. Wells and I did the marriage, house and life together. When the thought of a family came up, we disagreed. He was more committed to his work than he was to me, and I didn’t want to raise a kid mostly alone.”

 

”There were days I felt like he only wanted one to check it off of the ‘next thing to accomplish’ list. I always saw myself having a family one day, but the last few years, I haven’t even let that thought cross my mind.”

 

Clarke looked right into his eyes, “I can tell you that I want to be with you, wherever that may be, and have a happy life. If that leads to more in the future, then I’m open to it.” she told him with all the heart she could.

 

  
Bellamy smiled over at her and held her hand in his, “Then it sounds like we are on the same page. I just had a lot weighing on my mind tonight, I'm sorry if I was absent.” Bellamy confessed.

 

  
“It’s okay. We all still had a ton of fun, and Murphy tried to pole dance and almost got us kicked out.” she laughed.

 

“C’mon, let’s get you to bed Casanova.”

  
They got cleaned up and snuggled in bed together, and Bellamy felt a little bit lighter now that she knew where he was, but something still felt a little uneasy ever since he got that text from Echo tonight.


	37. Tell me your secrets, ask me your questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing like a little game of ‘Never have I ever’ To get to know your friends.

_The next morning..._

**Clarke:**

  
Clarke woke up a little bit earlier than she expected to this morning, especially given how late they got back last night.

 

She didn’t drink as much, because to be honest, she was worried about Bellamy and wanted to make sure he was okay.

 

She still had a good time, but she did spend quite a bit of time looking after him. Clarke quietly grabbed her lightweight robe and headed down stairs to start some coffee. It was almost 8am on a Sunday, so she wasn’t surprised to see that she was the only person awake.

 

Once she got the coffee started, she walked out onto the back deck and listened to the waves crash and smelt the salt in the air. She remembered Bellamy’s confession last night clearly, but she don’t think he was focused enough to say why he randomly was bothered by the fact that he hadn’t divulged his past relationship.

 

Clarke didn’t want to assume or make accusations, but she felt like maybe that was his way of saying that he heard from his Ex and that is what soured his mood, and led to his proclamation. She tried to put that in the back of her mind, because Bellamy had never given her a reason not to trust him.

 

  
She went back into the kitchen to grab a large cup of coffee and made her way back to their room. When Clarke opened the door, Bellamy was exactly where she left him, so she smiled and grabbed her sketch book and made her way out to the small table on the balcony.

 

It’s been a while since she had felt inspired to draw, but being here with this view was just such a good opportunity that she didn’t want to go to waste. The clouds were growing a bit darker, the seagulls were flying by and Clarke just let her hand take the lead on the pad without much thought.

 

She saw a couple jogging down the beach and drew them into the movement of the portrait. After a little while longer, she decided a jog on the beach sounded very relaxing, so she went and put on the only pair of workout type clothes she even thought to bring, and headed back downstairs.

 

When Clarke got onto the back deck, she saw Octavia stretching, and of course she would be working out on vacation. The woman was unstoppable, so Clarke joined her outside, “Mind if I join you?” she asked.

 

“Morning Clarke! I didn’t think anyone else would be up for at least another hour or so, so I would love the company.” she said with a bright smile, “Not too hungover  for a couple of miles?” Octavia asked.

 

  
“No, I only had a couple of drinks honestly. I’ve already had a cup of coffee and some quiet time this morning, and I thought a jog would do some good.” Clarke explained as they continued to stretch.

 

  
“So, you were on Bellamy watch last night?” she said with a giggle, “I haven’t seen him drink that much in a long time, I’m sure he’s going to be feeling that today. He’s not a kid anymore.”.

 

  
“I’m sure. He has water and ibuprofen if he wakes up before I get back.” Clarke said with a smaller smile.

 

  
“Did he say what was bothering him, or did he just pass out?” Octavia asked curiously as they headed down to the beach.

 

  
“He mentioned his ex-girlfriend, why they ultimately broke up and what his end goal was, to see if we were on the same path.” Clarke condensed.

 

  
“Yeah, Echo did a number on him. It was good in the beginning, but that last year it really took a toll on him. He went from super fun and joking and living his best life, to being miserable most of the time. He really hated LA and that whole scene. As soon as she told him to get on board or leave, let’s just say he didn’t tell me right away. He knows I would’ve given her more than just a piece of my mind.” she explained as they started with a warm up jog.

 

  
“That’s awful. I don’t understand people like that. Sucks he had to go through that.” Clarke said.

 

  
“Wait, why would that affect his night? I mean he was himself at dinner, then by the time we got to the bar, it was like he was on another planet.” Octavia slowed down the jog.

 

  
“I was trying to piece that together too. He said he was fine all night, then spilled that information out when we got back. I’m not really sure what brought it on.” Clarke said looking out at the water, as they slowed down to a brisk walk.

 

  
“Hence, the need to get some energy out this morning. I get it, I run or do something intense to help work off stress and keep my mind clear most of the time. It’s a better coping tactic then smacking somebody. Theories?” she asked.

 

  
“I don’t want to go down that rabbit hole. I know if I do, previous insecurities will come up, and he doesn’t deserve that.” Clarke told her as they stopped about 2 miles from the house.

 

  
“You’ve been cheated on?” Octavia asked bluntly, and Clarke just nodded her head. “I know he would never do that, so you don’t have to worry about that. I’m sure whatever it is that is bothering him is either over, or it will drive him nuts and he’ll crack and tell you. He doesn’t keep things bottled up very well.” she admitted.

 

  
“I figured. I’ll just let him decide if it’s something he wants to talk about, because I don’t want to push him or make it seem like I'm suspicious or fishing for information.” I told her and she agreed. “Alright, let’s make this a run back to the house, I need some adrenaline.” Clarke said, and they took off back to the house.

 

 

When they got back to the house, a few hungover zombie-like people had made their way into the kitchen for coffee while Lincoln was making pancakes and bacon for everyone.

 

 

Clarke decided to head upstairs to check on Bellamy. When she got into their room, the bed was empty and she heard an unsettling groan coming from their bathroom. Clarke heard the shower running as she got closer, so she knocked lightly even though the door was halfway cracked up and called out, “Bell? Are you okay?”

 

  
“Hey, can you come in here?” Bellamy said in a groggy voice.

 

  
Clarke walked into the bathroom to see Bellamy sitting on the ground, shirtless, with his shorts still on, leaning against the glass shower door and his eyes closed.

 

 

She walked over to him and crouched down in front of him and put a hand on his cheek, “Hey party boy, how are you feeling?” she asked a little sympathetically.

 

  
“Like an old man. Also, like I’m dying. I chugged one and half bottles of water that you left on the table with the ibuprofen, thank you for that by the way, I got as far as turning the shower on and brushing my teeth, but then I ran out of energy and the will to live.” he complained.

 

  
“A shower and the pancakes and bacon Lincoln is making will help you tremendously. Are you going to be okay? Do you need anything?” Clarke asked as he opened his eyes to look up at her for the first time today.

 

  
“Where have you been?” he asked, taking in what she was wearing.

 

  
“Octavia and I went for a beach jog, we just got back.” Clarke said smiling at him.

 

  
“You two are invincible.” he groaned.

 

  
“Or, we didn’t even drink a fraction of what you or anyone else did. I’ve been up for a few hours now. Now, let me help you.” Clarke said as she stood up, and slowly helped him up as well.

 

 

Bellamy wrapped his arms around her and laid his head on her shoulder, “I stink like sweat and probably the salt in the air from the beach” Clarke warned him.

 

  
Bellamy slowly pulled back, and gave Clarke a devious grin, “Then it sounds like you could use a shower too.” he said as he reached for her tank top, then opened the glass shower door to reveal all of the steam. “It would really help me feel better.” he said with a pout.

 

  
“Well, only because it will help you feel better and because I smell.” Clarke said as she rolled her eyes and joined him.

 

 

 

They finally joined the rest of the group for breakfast and decided to take it a bit easier today, playing games and relaxing until lunch, and then they would venture back out onto the beach.

 

  
It was a day well spent. They got into an intense game of monopoly where they played as teams of couples and Nate and Jackson were accused of cheating as the bankers, catch phrase had them rolling with the descriptions people were trying to come up with, and a game of risk that almost ended relationships and friendships.

 

 

They had grilled tacos for lunch and then headed for the beach. The guys tossed the football around and the girls laid out in the sun while napping.

 

 

They then had a nice family style dinner and decided to play drinking games for their last night in the house.

 

 

Of course, one of those games ended up being ‘Never have I ever’ and Clarke was already chugging water to help with the impending questions coming up that would have her drinking. She was always the worst at this game.

 

  
Nate started with ‘Never have I ever been to Australia.’ and Clarke, Bellamy and Lincoln drank.

  
Octavia was next, ‘Never have I ever written a book.’ Bellamy, Nate and Murphy drank.

  
Lincoln, ‘Never have I ever been disciplined in school.’ Everyone but Jackson drank.

  
“Really?” Nate asked in disbelief?

  
“I was a good student!” Jackson argued.

  
Monty, ‘Never have I ever gotten a tattoo.’ Everyone drank.

  
Harper, ‘Never have I ever been to Europe.’ Everyone but Emori and Monty drank.

  
Emori, ‘Never have I ever had a sibling.’ Clarke, Bellamy, Octavia and Jackson drank.

  
Murphy, ‘Never have I ever stayed friends with an Ex.’ Clarke was the only person who drank.

 

Everyone looked at her with a weird look.  
“We were friends for years before we started dating. It’s not as weird as I thought it would be.” Clarke explained.

 

  
It was her turn, ‘Never have I ever been skinny dipping.’ she said with a smirk as Octavia, Lincoln, Harper, Murphy and Emori all drank with mischievous grins.

 

  
“God, I so did not need to know that.” Bellamy grumbled as he leaned his head on Clarke’s shoulder.

 

 

“I guess it’s my turn. ‘Never have I ever baked a cake!’ he said smiling triumphantly. All of the girls drank, along with Lincoln.

 

 

Jackson, ‘Never have I ever been in a car accident.’

 

Bellamy instantly stiffened next to Clarke. She squeezed his hand gently letting him know she was okay, and then she took a drink along with Nate and they shared a small smile across the room.

 

  
They continued on with the game and people were getting a little beyond tipsy and throwing out random nonsense, then the question ‘Never have I ever been engaged’ was thrown out there and Clarke was laughing and took a drink without paying attention. Everyone stopped and looked at her with wide eyes.

 

  
“You’ve been engaged before?!” Emori yelled.

 

  
“Yes, well kind of twice. I was proposed to twice at least. I said yes to one, and no to the other one.” Clarke said simply, the alcohol flowing freely.

 

  
“I had no idea.” Harper said a little solemnly.

 

  
“It’s fine, it was a long time ago.” Clarke said with a shrug.

 

  
“You didn’t marry either of them?” Lincoln asked.

 

  
“I... uh... sorry I thought you guys knew. I’ve been married before. Widower. Yes, I’m fine it was a while ago, and I though Bellamy would’ve mentioned it.” Clarke said a little confused that it never came up before.

 

  
“We had no idea.” Murphy said, looking at Bellamy expectantly.

 

  
“It wasn’t my story to tell.” Bellamy said simply.

 

  
“Well, we are all friends here. I was married right out of college and he died almost 2 years ago in a car accident. I’m sorry to spring that on you guys. I thought it was something everyone knew, but never asked about. Let’s play a new game.” Clarke said as she got up to go to the kitchen to get another bottle of wine.

 

  
“Clarke, I’m so sorry. I had no idea. You could’ve told me, especially if you needed someone to talk to.” Murphy said behind her.

 

  
“Murphy, I swear I’m okay. I thought maybe it would’ve come up in a conversation with Bellamy explaining who I was. I shouldn’t have assumed that everyone knew, but thank you for the offer.” Clarke said as she gave his shoulder a light squeeze and joined the rest of the group.

 

 

Clarke was about to sit down, when she noticed Bellamy was missing.

 

  
“He stepped out back.” Octavia said lightly as she gave Clarke a knowing look. Clarke nodded her thanks to Octavia and stepped out to find Bellamy.

 

  
She saw him standing near the water, so she headed down the stairs to join him, “Hey, you should probably wait a few hours after drinking to go for a swim.” Clarke tried to lightly joked with him.

 

  
“I’m so sorry that came up, Clarke. I didn’t think it was my place to tell them, but I should’ve known this would come up eventually, especially during a game of ‘Never have I ever’.” Bellamy said with a heavy sigh.

 

  
“Hey, you didn’t know. It’s okay, and it’s not your fault, nor your responsibility to inform our friends of my past.” Clarke said as she turned him to face her.

 

  
“Does it still hurt? Whenever you have to retell the story to others? When you have to relive that part of your life?” he asked with pain in his eyes.

 

  
“Well, most people I know already know the story, and I don’t usually tell people I don’t know, except you. As far as the accident, you are the only person I’ve ever told. It hurts less as time goes on, and that is in huge part to you. You have showed me how I can heal and live on happily, so thank you for that.” Clarke said as she held both of his hands.

 

 

She saw a tear escape his eye, and Clarke reached to wipe it from his cheek.

 

  
“Just when I think you can’t surprise me anymore you pull something like that out.” he said with a watery laugh, “You always have me to talk to, if it ever gets too hard, or if you just want to talk or vent. You know that.” he said as he pulled her into a hug.

 

  
“I know, you know you have me for that too, right?” Clarke told him.

 

  
Bellamy looked down as her like he had something that was weighing on him still, then a smile overcame his face, “Thank you. I will always keep that in mind. Let’s get back inside, before they try to cheat at bullshit.”

 

  
They walked back up to the house hand and hand and demanded that they re-shuffle the cards, so we could start the game of bullshit.

 


	38. Everybody needs to break free from reality.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They leave the beach, and get back to reality.   
> But what happens when reality becomes too real?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But the ending of this chapter 😳

Clarke woke up the next morning to Bellamy cuddled up on her chest, with his arms thrown around her waist.

 

She started lightly running her fingers through his curls and he started to mumble and hold her tighter. She kissed the top of his head, and then rolled over to face him sleepily, “Good morning.” she whispered.

 

“No, sleep.” he whispered back.

 

“Come on, I want to show you something, then we can sleep for another couple of hours.” she pleaded.

 

“Better be worth it.” he said begrudgingly, as he slowly let go of her so she could get up.

 

Clarke grabbed his t-shirt to put on, and he slid his sweat pants on, then she held out her hand so Bellamy could follow her out to the balcony. “It’s about time for the sunrise. I wanted to show you what I've been drawn to the last couple of mornings.” she explained as he looked around at the scenery before them.

 

There was a storm rolling in today, but the sunrise was more for the outside becoming lighter slowly and casting a cool gray over everything.

 

“You’re right, this is very peaceful. I can see why you have been drawn to it.” he said as he held her from behind, close to his chest as he placed a kiss to the top of her head.

 

“I could stay here forever, not that I’m not looking forward to going home with you, but I’ve missed you the last month.” Clarke admitted.

 

“I know, working at home with you was the best time I’ve ever had working. I promise to do better about delegating, so I can make it back home at a decent hour more often.” he said with a determination.

 

“I don’t want you to do that for me. I want you to do it for you, so you don’t get swallowed by work and not have the time or energy for anything else. Life is too short to work it away, balance it key.” She reminded him.

 

“I’ll remember that. Speaking of balance, I could use some more sleep with all the late nights we’ve had this weekend.” Bellamy said as he led her back inside and into their bed.

 

They slept for another 2 hours before they decided to get up, shower, get dressed and packed before having one last breakfast with everyone.

 

The guys were loading up the cars, while the girls and went through all of the rooms to make sure they didn’t leave anything behind.

 

Once the house was clear, Clarke took one last walk down to the beach and stood there as the wind started to pick up with the storm coming, just looking out at the waves as they rolled in, “Hey babe, ready to go home?” Bellamy said from behind her.

 

Clarke turned around to smile at him over her shoulder, to see him already smiling back at her. “Home. That sounds perfect.” she said as she walked toward him and grabbed his outstretched hand as they walked back to the car together.

 

They all said their goodbyes until tomorrow, for most of them and then headed back to Vancouver.

 

 

 

They made it back with just enough time to unpack before the storm really picked up. They unpacked and started laundry and decided to watch something in bed while they waited for the clothes to be done.

 

"This right here is the perfect way to end a perfect weekend. Thank you again for everything you did to help put this together. It was exactly what I needed.” Bellamy said as he kissed the side of her head as she was laying on his chest while the movie played.

 

“I couldn’t imagine anything else I would rather do.” Clarke told him as they settled in for the rest of the day.

 

 

Their routine was hard to get back into, but they went to work the next day, Clarke joined the girls for dance class, and Bellamy was actually home when she got back so they could start dinner together.

 

It was a really nice surprise, and he beamed at her as soon as she walked in the door, like a kid who got all A’s on his report card. Clarke couldn’t help but kiss that sweet face.

 

Wednesday passed much the same way, and Bellamy and Clarke talked about his actual birthday the next day over dinner, “So normal day, but I was thinking of coming up to the office and taking you to lunch if you want.” Clarke suggested.

 

“I would love that. Then you have dance class while I finish up work, and then we are going out with the group Friday night, right?” Bellamy asked.

 

“Yes, so I thought I could get the groceries for your favorite meal and cook you a birthday dinner, low key since we have to work the next day, then we will be at the Parlor with everyone on Friday.” she confirmed.

“Sounds amazing. So, Fajitas tomorrow?” he said with a huge smile.

“Fresh Salsa and Guac too.” she said winking at him.

“God, I love that you’re from Texas.” he laughed.

 

 

 

_The next morning..._

 

**Bellamy:**

 

Well, he is officially 34 years old today. He leaned over to give Clarke a kiss on her forehead, then He got out of bed and headed for the shower.

 

Once he was dressed and ready, he walked into the kitchen to see a sleepy Clarke leaning against the counter with a mug of coffee in her hand, and another one next to her, “Morning, and Happy Birthday.” she said with a small smile, as she handed the other mug to him.

 

Bellamy kissed her on the cheek, “Thank you, and thank you for this, but you didn’t need to get up early for me.” he told her.

 

“I have some things I need to get done today anyways, so I figured I'd get a head start.” she explained as there was a knock on the door.

 

Clarke opened the door to see Murphy standing on the other side with a box of doughnuts, “Happy Birthday Old Man.” he said too cheery.

 

“Thanks, the doughnuts are welcomed, you are not.” Bellamy said as he took the box from him, but he followed inside anyways. Clarke grabbed another mug of coffee for Murphy as they dug into the doughnuts.

 

“Clarke? At this hour? Was there an apocalypse or something?” Murphy teased, and Clarke had a look to kill.

 

“Don’t poke the bear man, she bites.” Bellamy joked as he dodged a swat to the ribs from Clarke herself.

 

“You’re both too chatty for mornings.” she mumbled and made her way over to cuddle up on the couch.

 

“Well, we have to get going. I will see you at lunch.” Bellamy said as he leaned down to kiss her goodbye.

 

Murphy and Bellamy made their way to the office just like any other day. There were balloons in Bellamy’s office and a big ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY’ written on the big white board in the conference room.

 

It was going to be a good day, even if he was working on his birthday.

 

Clarke came by for lunch and Nate, Murphy and Bellamy joined her at a café just down the street from the office.

 

She told them she had been prepping for dinner most of the day, and had a few things to stop and get after dance class, so she would be back around 6:30 that evening.

 

After lunch, Bellamy gave Clarke a long kiss goodbye and promised to be home at a decent hour, and they parted ways for the rest of the day.

 

Back inside, the guys were in the conference room looking over that week’s submissions to send off to corporate, it was nearing the end of the day when the receptionist from downstairs had called up: “Mr. Blake, you have a few deliveries, do you want them sent up or forwarded to your home address?” she asked.

 

“I’m about to head out for the day, so if you could have them forwarded, I would appreciate it.” Bellamy told her as they hung up.

 

They were probably new assignments he needed to look over, and he had some time before Clarke got home to start to sift through them tonight.

 

He packed up for the day and walked into Murphy’s office, “You ready to go man?” Bellamy asked since they rode together today.

 

“You? Leaving at 5pm? What a concept.” Murphy said sarcastically.

 

“Yeah, yeah. It’s my birthday and I’d rather do some last-minute things at home, than stay here.” Bellamy said as they headed for the parking lot.

 

Once they got back and parted ways to their respective apartments, Bellamy went inside and started up his laptop to send off a few more assignments, when a knock came at the door.

 

When he went to open the door, Bellamy did not expect what he saw on the other side.

 

“Echo?”

 


	39. I see it written on your face, you know you made your greatest mistake.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst, Angst, and some more Angst!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You knew it was coming: things aren’t perfect in life, so here is some angst!

“Echo?” Bellamy said in an absolute shock. “What? How? What are you doing here?” He stuttered out.

 

“I went to your office to drop these off, but they said you were having your deliveries forwarded to your home for the day and gave me the address.” she said.

 

“No, why are you here? In Vancouver?” He asked a little more harshly.

 

“Well, I always loved visiting here with you, so I figured that I would hand deliver these books to you. Happy Birthday by the way.” Echo said with a small smile.

 

“Echo, you can’t be here. I appreciate you returning these to me, but you shouldn’t have come here.” He told her as he took the books from her hand.

 

“I just wanted to talk to you. We didn’t really get to talk things out when our relationship ended, because you were gone all the time, then you had Nate pack up your stuff while I was out of town. I don’t want to ruin your birthday, I just wanted to talk. Get some closure, please?” she asked desperately.

 

“Fine. But I have dinner plans, so it needs to be quick.” he said as he let her inside.

 

 

 

_Meanwhile at Dance Class..._

**Clarke:**

Class was finishing up, and the girls were talking about our plans for tomorrow, “So meet around 8 at the Parlor?” Harper confirmed. Emori, Octavia and Clarke all nodded in agreement.

 

“So, what do you have planned for the birthday boy tonight?” Emori asked.

 

“And remember, his sister is standing right here.” Octavia said with dread.

 

“Ha. Ha. I am making him fajitas, and I spent most of the day prepping. We are going to have some homemade margaritas and have a chill night. We can’t get too crazy with work tomorrow.” Clarke said laughing.

 

“Did you get him anything?” Harper asked with a wink.

 

“I actually got him a first edition copy of the Iliad.” Clarke said with a shy smile. “He always talked about how much he loved the stories in there, and I came across one about a month ago in Burnaby.” she explained.

 

“You know my brothers a nerd, and you still love him anyway. Bless you.” Octavia said as they all made their way out of the studio. Clarke stopped at the grocers not too far from the apartment and picked up the fresh produce she need for dinner, and then headed upstairs.

 

 

_Meanwhile, inside the apartment..._

**Bellamy:**

Echo and Bellamy had been going in circles for a while now, “You gave me an ultimatum, you knew how unhappy I was with the life and environment there. You can’t be mad that I finally put myself and my wants first.” He said to her.

 

“You didn’t even tell me you were unhappy. You just became distant and grumpy and then just left!” She argued back.

 

“That’s a lie and you know it. I always told you how much I hated LA whenever I was home from a trip.” he shot back.

 

“Everyone says they hate LA. It’s expensive, traffic, shallow and busy. And everyone hates coming home after vacation, I didn’t see the difference in that or you being so unhappy you would want to leave, including me.”

 

“You were always out doing the LA scene, and I told you that I didn’t want that life. I told you what I did want and you said to stay with you or leave and do my own thing, so I left.” He told her, just exhausted from the whole ordeal.

 

“You never even ended things with us. You just left, and when I came home from vacation, your stuff was moved out. What the hell, Bellamy?” she asked sadly.

 

“You told me to stay or go, so I went. Didn’t think you expected an official notice of our ending relationship when you made it clear that if I left there was no us anymore. I left, we ended, just because it wasn’t scripted out doesn’t make it any less real. It’s been a year, why now?” He asked with curiosity.

 

“Because, I miss you. I tried moving on, cleaning, repainting, working more, and then one day I found some of your old books, and I couldn’t help but feel regret. What I did was childish and immature. I just, wanted you back in my life.” she said with tears in her eyes.

 

“Echo, I have moved on. Just because you realized after a year that the life you chose wasn’t what you wanted it to be, doesn’t mean that us ending wasn’t the right call. I have a new life here, I’m happy.” Bellamy told her honestly.

 

Just then, the door opened and all he saw were a pair of legs carrying a large brown paper bag, “Hey, I got all the stuff for Salsa and Guac.” Clarke said as she made her way into the apartment, not seeing anything over the bag in her hand.

 

Bellamy froze in place in the living room, while Echo was sitting on the couch wiping her tears away frantically, looking at him with confusion.

 

Once Clarke placed the bag on the counter and turned to look at Bellamy, her expression morphed into surprise and confusion, “Oh, I didn’t know we had company. Hi I’m Clarke, Bellamy’s Roommate and...” she said hesitantly looking over at Bellamy, and he felt as though he had left his body and was just watching helplessly.

 

Echo looked over at him, then back to Clarke. She stood up, seeing as he wasn’t even blinking and walked over to shake Clarke’s  hand, “I’m Echo. I came over to give Bellamy some of his books back that he left at our house back in LA.” she said with insinuation.

 

Clarke’s face just dropped, then she looked at Bellamy and he could see it. The panic, sadness, confusion, and worst of all, betrayal.

She recovered quickly and looked back at Echo, “Oh, I didn’t know he had an out of town friend visiting. Well, we have plenty of food here. I actually need to go next door and get a few things for the margaritas from Murphy, so I will be right back.” Clarke said as she rushed to the door.

 

 

 

_Next door at Murphy’s..._

**Clarke:**

She couldn’t feel anything. Her hands were cold as ice and numb. The blood in her ears were pumping so hard and she could feel her breaths coming in shorter and shorter as she knocked frantically on Murphy’s door, “Hey Clarke, what’s up? Thought you and the birthday boy had dinner plans?” he said as he opened the door.

 

He took one look at her and his eye went wide as he led her into his apartment. “Clarke, what’s wrong? I need you to breathe, you’re scaring me.” he said as he placed his hands on her shoulders.

 

“Bell. His ex is at our apartment. She’s there and he didn’t tell me, didn’t tell me he was still speaking to her, that she knew where we lived, and now she just thinks I’m his roommate. I just had to get out of there.” Clarke told him as she regained her breathing.

 

“Holy shit! Echo is over there? Right now?” he asked frantically.

 

“Yes. I came home to finish dinner and there she was, sitting on our couch. She introduced herself and said she came to bring Bellamy some of his stuff that he left at THEIR House.” She told him, starting to feel sick.

 

“She came all the way from LA, and knew where he lived? What the hell! He didn’t tell me anything. I’ll kill him.” Murphy said as he started walking towards the front door.

 

Clarke grabbed his wrist and spun him around to look at her, “No. I told them I was coming over here to grab the stuff for margaritas from you. You have to come to dinner, because I think I invited her to stay before I knew who she was.” she said as she slumped down in his armchair.

 

“What did he say to that? He just let you invite her and didn’t object?” Murphy said.

 

“He didn’t move a muscle or say a word since I walked in the door. I can’t do this bullshit. If he hasn’t let her go, or there is still something between them, considering she’s in our apartment and came all this way, I can’t be in the middle of that. I have had my fair share of shit show relationships. I won’t be in the middle of someone else’s.” Clarke said with finality.

 

“You two have been officially together since my birthday, right?” Murphy asked, “That was almost 2 months ago, and he was in love with you way before that. Something isn’t adding up.” he mumbled.

 

Then, the worst of worst feelings came over Clarke and she ran to Murphy’s bathroom and started throwing up. She felt a soothing hand rub circles on her back as she regained her composure.

 

“Thank God I know how much you two preach about safe sex, otherwise I'd be worried.” Murphy half joked to lighten the tension.

 

All of the sudden, Clarke was struck with absolute fear, “What, what’s todays date?” She asked terrified.

 

“The 6th? What an odd question.” Murphy said.

 

Then she looked up at him with a terrifying realization in her eyes, “I’m late.” she said as she put her head in her hands.

 

“For dinner? A work thing? A bill? What’s up?” Murphy guessed. Then the look on her face must have given it away because his next words were, “Oh, shit. How late?”

 

“I should have had it early last week, so about two weeks?” she tried to count backwards.

 

“I thought you two were always safe!?” he said with more concern.

 

“We are!” she argued back, then she thought about it, “Well, except once, or twice in the same night. Shit.” she said as she put her head back down.

 

“Hang out here, I'm going to run to the drug store right down stairs and get some tests. We need to know before anything else happens, because if you are you can’t drink tonight, and if you aren’t, you need all the drinks you can get.” Murphy said as he grabbed his key and rushed out the door.

 

Clarke sat on the side of his tub for what felt like hours, but was only about twenty minutes when he reappeared with a brown paper bag.

“Usually when I’m carrying this type of bag, there is liquor inside.” he said as he handed it to her and closed the bathroom door so she could take these tests.

 

Clarke read the directions, and took all 3 tests, just to be sure. And then she put the caps on and set them on the counter with her phone timer and opened the door to see Murphy pacing.

 

He came inside and sat on the tub edge next to her, “It’s going to be okay. I’m sure Bellamy has an explanation for the demon being here, and no matter what those tests say, you have an army of people willing to help you.” He said as he put his arm over her shoulder.

 

“Last birthday we celebrated, Bellamy and I were not smart and had too much to drink, and now on this birthday it may be the repercussion of that night.” Clarke said with a dark laugh at the irony.

 

Murphy took a minute, then, “My birthday?! I knew you guys snuck off somewhere to do it!” he realized.

 

“Yeah, one time I've been spontaneous, and then again at home when we were both too drunk to think clearly. Those are the only times I can account for that we weren’t practicing safe sex. What a story.” She said, feeling like those minutes were stretching into hours.

 

The timer on her phone went off, and she couldn’t even look. Clarke looked over at Murphy, and he just nodded in understanding and got up to look at the three tests on the counter.

 

“3 negatives.” he said evenly.

 

“Okay, so maybe just stressed induced? Planning his party and stuff.” She said as she got up and felt her blood start to rush again, then Murphy was holding her while she soaked his shirt in tears while sobbing.

 

“It’s okay, everything is going to be okay.” he kept whispering to her. Just then, a knock came on his door, “You know who that is. Stay in here and try to calm down, and I’ll get rid of him.” he said as he shooed her back into the bathroom.

 

 

_On the other side of the door..._

**Bellamy:**

Clarke had been gone awhile, and he had told Echo that she couldn’t stay, “Why? Your roommate invited me to.” she argued.

 

“Clarke is more than just my roommate, she is my girlfriend. You have to know, that you being here probably rocked her just as much as it shocked me.” He explained to her. “I need to go find her.” He said as he walked out of the apartment and down the hall to Murphy’s.

 

Bellamy knocked, and as soon as he opened the door he was greeted with, “Hey asshole, forget to tell us about your uninvited guest?”

 

“Not now man, I need to talk to Clarke.” Bellamy told him, not giving into his pettiness.

 

“Well, maybe Clarke doesn’t need to talk to you right now. Why don’t you get your story straight and get rid of the she-devil while we make margaritas here? We will be over shortly.” he said as he closed the door in his face.

 

Bellamy went back over to their apartment, to find Echo still sitting on the couch, “Please leave. I don’t want to have to call security, but I will.” he said just emotionally exhausted and defeated.

 

“Is that what you really want? For me to leave? If it wasn’t for your ‘roommate’ coming home, I felt like we were making progress.” she said snidely.

 

“Echo, we’re over. Done. I have a good life here, and I wish you nothing but the best, but now my birthday has turned into a shit show and I have to fix things that you caused. Thank you for returning my books, but please go and do not come back.” he told her with finality.

 

She took a long look at him, then got up and walked out the door. Bellamy was only hoping that it would be just as cut and dry with Clarke. Facts, apology and forgiveness.

 

“Happy fucking Birthday to me.” He mumbled.


	40. Are we out of the woods yet? Are we in the clear yet?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy deal with the fall out of his ex showing up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. But it was only a matter of time before the angst reappeared.
> 
> Every couple goes through their ups and downs, including our lovable duo.

* * *

 

_Back at Murphy’s..._

**Clarke:**

 

After she heard Bellamy leave, Clarke slowly made her way out to Murphy’s kitchen. He was grabbing limes, a pitcher and tequila, as well as a couple of shot glasses. He filled them up, and slid one over to her ”Bottoms up kid, you deserve it.” he toasted as he downed his shot, and Clarke followed.

 

“Thanks, guy who is barely a year older than me.” she laughed back as he filled them up again before he started filling up the pitcher.

 

“You ready to face them? If not, you don’t have to go over there. You are more than welcome to take solace here.” Murphy offered.

 

“It’s still his birthday, whatever drama is going on can wait. I didn’t work all day on this feast for it to go to waste.” she told him.

 

“Well then, let’s get this over with.” he said as he grabbed the pitcher and they walked back over to her apartment.

 

 

Murphy walked in first, and then Clarke walked in right behind him and headed straight for the kitchen, not even looking up to see Bellamy or Echo, then she heard Murphy ask, “Where is she?”

 

“I told her to leave and not to come back.” Bellamy said simply.

 

Clarke snapped her head up at that. Bellamy looked her dead in the eyes as if to convey to her that he meant it. She turned around and started chopping the veggies and turning the slow cooker and oven off so she could let the beans and rice cool and the meat rest before slicing it.

 

She vaguely heard Murphy laying into Bellamy about why she was hear and how she even knew where they lived, etc. “Dude, what the hell? How long has this been going on?” Murphy spat at him.

 

“Nothing it going on! She texted me last weekend saying she found some of my stuff and wanted to mail it to me, so I gave her the office address. She just showed up there today and they gave her my home address thinking it was a delivery!” Bellamy yelled back.

 

“And you didn’t think to warn Clarke? Or tell me?!” Murphy yelled.

 

“I would have if I wasn’t so surprised and caught off guard, do you think I wanted this to happen?!” Bellamy yelled dangerously low.

 

“ENOUGH!” Clarke said to both of them. “Just, enough. I spent all day planning this dinner for your birthday, and everyone will be here soon, so let’s put a lid on this for now, please.” she said more calmly this time.

 

“Everyone?” Bellamy asked confused.

 

“Yes, did you think I made all of this food for just the two of us?” she said stretching her arms out. “It was supposed to be a nice surprise game night for your birthday, since we are going out tomorrow.”

 

Murphy walked into the kitchen and leaned over to whisper in her ear, “Surprise dinner?”

 

“It is now, so please text everyone and tell them to get over here. Tell them I made too much food and we are doing a game night. I can’t deal with this right now.” she pleaded with him.

 

“On it, boss.” Murphy said as he walked down the hall to her room to call everyone.

 

Bellamy slowly walked into the kitchen, like he was approaching a spooked animal, “Clarke, can we please just talk? I need you to know that I had no idea she was going to show up in Vancouver, much less get our address and show up on our doorstep.”

 

“I don’t want your birthday ruined any more than it already has been. Sorry I ruined the dinner surprise. We can talk about this later, please can we just have a nice meal with our friends to celebrate you?” she asked on the verge of tears.

 

He came over to her slowly and gently pulled her into a hug, “Whatever you want. I’m so, so sorry.” he whispered into her hair. “Can I help with anything? Please let me do something.” he begged.

 

“You can start cutting those avocados for guacamole.” she said with a force smile.

 

They worked together in the kitchen in sync as always, but the silence felt anything but companionable. When Murphy came back in the room, he mentioned going back over to his place for sangria ingredients and that he would be right back, looking right at Clarke as he said it.

 

“So, the regular group tonight?” Bellamy tried as a conversation starter.

 

“I think so, not sure if everyone can come, but you know free food usually gets them over here.” She said with a small chuckle.

 

About an hour later, everything was set up buffet style, meat was cut, tortillas were hot and all of the toppings were pulled from the fridge and set out.

 

Thankfully, all of their friends had managed to make it, and no one mentioned that this was a last-minute change of plans. Clarke was thankful. She just couldn’t deal with dinner alone with Bellamy after everything.

 

They all ate, drank, laughed and they were setting up a game. Clarke had gone into her room to hide the gift she had gotten Bellamy back in her closet.

 

”Do you want to talk about it?” Octavia had followed her into her room. “I mean, not that I’m opposed to coming over anytime you want to cook, but a few hours ago it was just supposed to be you and Bell, then Murphy calls and says we all needed to come over for a birthday dinner asap!” she explained.

 

“I came home and his ex-girlfriend was here. I didn’t know he had been talking to her, or that she knew where he lived. I panicked. Murphy helped calm me down, and when we came over here to get an explanation, she had left. He explained that she asked to send him her his address so she could mail some of his stuff he left after he moved. He gave her the office address, and then she showed up to the office today and they sent her here because they thought she was a delivery person.” Clarke recited back to her what Bellamy had said to Murphy earlier.

 

“Shit. I can’t believe she came all this way. She had to have wanted something, to just show up like this, and on his birthday? Clarke, I am so sorry, but you have to know how much my idiotic brother cares about you. This was not planned on his part, but he’s definitely not innocent by not telling you that he had been speaking with her, or at least warned you that she showed up here.” Octavia said as she hugged Clarke tightly.

 

“I just didn’t want to get into it with him tonight, and I didn’t want to have dinner alone in awkward silence either, so Murphy called in the cavalry.” Clarke said with a laugh.

 

“We are here for you, always.” Octavia said as she squeezed Clarke’s hand, and they joined the rest of the group back in the living room.

 

The guys were working on getting the kitchen cleaned up, and Clarke was so grateful for that. They all sat around finishing off the margaritas and sangria as they got into a game of ‘CAH’. Once everyone had left, and it was just Clarke, Bellamy and Murphy, Murphy came up to her, “Are you sure you’re okay? You can crash at my place tonight.” he assured her.

 

Clarke had a bit more than she should have to drink, and knowing how tequila affects her, she should’ve stopped a while ago.

 

“I’ll be okay. I know where to find you if I'm not though, so thank you.” She said as she gave him a bone crushing hug.

 

He gave her a nod, then turned to Bellamy, “See you in the morning.”

 

Bellamy gave him a nod in return and then Murphy left. It was now just the two of them. Everything was cleaned up, no one was left as a buffer, and Clarke was starting to sway on her feet.

 

“I think I’m going to go to bed now.” she said casually as she started walking towards her room before he could get a word in.

 

She shut her door behind her, and started putting on something to sleep in. Once she was dressed and snuggled up in her bed, there was a light knock on her door. So light that she thought she had imagined it, until it slowly crept open.

 

“Hey, can we please talk now? It’s after midnight and no longer my birthday. Please?” Bellamy asked quietly.

 

Clarke just rolled over to look at him and nodded while pulling the blanket back for him to slide in.

 

Once they were facing each other, she just looked at him, not wanting to interrupt his train of thought.

 

“I need you to know, that I have not been talking to my ex behind your back. Last weekend at the beach, she asked for my address to send me some books of mine that she found, and I only responded with the office address. I had no earthly idea that she would show up to the office in person just to be redirected here.”

 

”I tried to get her to leave as soon as I saw her, but she insisted that we talk and get closure. I was going to let her say her peace and then kick her out, but she wouldn’t listen. She tried to say she made a mistake and I told her I was happy here with my life, with you. She wouldn’t accept that.”

 

”I can’t tell you how many times I told her she needed to leave, then I even threatened to call security. I was in such shock and trying to get her out of my life, that I didn’t even think to warn you. I know that is looks like I had her over and tried to get rid of her before you got home and found out, but I swear to you on everything I have, that was not the case. I am so sorry you had to walk into that shit show.” he said with earnest.

 

“I’m sorry that I just took the situation at face value and left. I just couldn’t be in the middle of whatever was going on with you two.” She told him.

 

“You didn’t deserve to. I promise you I would never do something like that. I love you, and only you. No one is going to change that.” he said with a conviction.

 

“I’m sorry your birthday didn’t go as planned.” She said sadly.

 

“I was guessing that our friends coming was more of a surprise than just to me.” he said with a smile growing on his face.

 

“I just didn’t want to have an awkward dinner or end up fighting with just the two of us. But I do have something I wanted to give you, to maybe make up for it.” She said as she got out of bed and went to her closet to reach for the blue and silver wrapped item. She handed it to him, and his entire face lite up. “Happy belated Birthday”

 

He unwrapped the book, and just stared at it for a whole minute, not a word was said, then she got nervous, “I know you mentioned this as one of your favorite reads, and I came across this first edition one day and thought you might enjoy it.”

 

He looked up at her with awe in his expression, “Can I kiss you now?”

 

“What kind of question is that...” she was cut off by his lips on hers. He slowly leaned over and placed the book behind her on the nightstand.

 

“I can’t believe you remembered that, and that you found a first edition for me. You are truly the best person I know.” he said as his thumb stroked her cheek.

 

“I had no idea a book was that powerful. I should stop into book stores more often.” She laughed.

 

“Mm, I love when you talk nerdy to me.” he said as they both started laughing harder. “Are you sure you’re okay? I’ll answer any questions you have.” he said as he looked her in the eyes.

 

“I know you didn’t plan this, nothing happened, and you love me. Those are the only questions I need answering.” She told him as she leaned in to kiss him again.

 

“Good, because I don’t want to sleep in my bed alone. I felt like we were a million miles apart all night.” he said as he pulled her closer to his chest.

 

“I hated it. I hated feeling like you were hiding her, I hated how angry it made me feel, I hated how panicked I felt, like my perfect little world was crashing all over again.” she admitted in the silence.

 

He pulled her onto his chest, and kissed the top of her head, “I promise that I will never do that to you again. I promise to do everything I possibly can to keep you calm, happy and safe. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, or get my brain to play catch up when you came home. No more secrets.” he whispered into her hair.

 

“Deal.” she agreed as they dozed off to sleep. It was then that Clarke decided, not to tell him about her other freak out earlier over being late. It wasn’t a secret since nothing came of it.

 

 

_The next morning..._

**Bellamy:**

Bellamy decided when his alarm went off, that he would be working from home today.

 

He sent a quick text off to Nate and Murphy letting them know that he would be finishing the assignments and submissions to be sent off today from home, and that he would see them for dinner with the group later that night, then he turned his phone on silent and curled back up with a sleeping Clarke.

 

He didn’t want to leave her on any morning, but after the disaster that happened yesterday, he really didn’t want to leave her today.

 

About an hour or so later, Clarke’s  alarm went off and she groaned as she reached to turn it off. As soon as she turned back over and saw Bellamy still in bed, she raised a questioning eyebrow at him, “You do know that today is a work day right?” she said in that cute sleepy voice.

 

“I’m working from home today. I just have some submissions and assignments to send out today. I already gave the guys a heads up.” He told her and as he pulled her back to his chest.

 

“I say we work from bed and order breakfast then.” she said as she held onto him tighter.

 

“Whatever you want babe.” he said with a content sigh.


	41. My Momma told me, go make yourself some friends or you’ll be lonely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke’s Family visits and gets to meet Bellamy and her friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meet the family. Things are getting serious 😉

 

They managed to get all of their  work done for the day, and have time to go to a new café that had opened not too far from the apartment for lunch.

 

They came back and took a nap, then got up and got dressed to go out with our friends.

 

Bellamy guessed word travelled fast about the real reason for the impromptu party last night, and everyone seemed relieved that Clarke and Bellamy were okay and back to their normal selves again.

 

  
The rest of September continued on just as their normal weeks would with work, friends and their time together building their relationships.

 

  
October came, and they all got to celebrate Canadian Thanksgiving together as a group.

 

Clarke had told Bellamy that her Mother and Sister were going to be visiting at the end of the month, and he was excited to meet them.

 

Clarke had met all of the most important people in his life, and he wanted the chance to do the same. They had rented a condo not too far from their place, and were excited to explore the city.

 

Clarke told him that she would probably be staying with her mom and sister while they were there, and he hated the thought of not having her to come home to every day, since they haven’t had to spend much time apart since she moved in 4 months ago, but he understood. It had been almost 6 months since she had seen her family.

 

Clarke told Bellamy all about her mother, her late father, their family business that her sister ran and what they liked to do together.

 

Bellamy told her that he would give them their time, but he did also want to spend time with them whenever she wanted him to.

  
“I have a confession.” Clarke started, “They know I’m seeing someone, and they know that I have a roommate, but I never told them that it was the same person.” she said hesitantly.

  
“Can I ask why? I’m not upset, I just don’t want to go in blind.” Bellamy told her genuinely.

  
“I didn’t know how they would react to me having someone so serious in my life again. You have to remember that Wells wasn’t just my husband, but he was like a son and brother to my mom and sister. They lost someone they loved too. I didn’t want to risk there being any judgment, or if they thought this was too much too fast.” she told him.

  
“Are you still worried that they will feel that way?” Bellamy asked honestly.

  
“I don’t think so, not whenever I explain everything and they see how happy I am, and that it is in large part because of you.” she said with a smile.

  
“So, you want me to wait to meet them, until you fill them in on everything?”

  
“If you are okay with that. I just don’t want to throw you to the lions, without all the information being out there and understood by them first. I’ll pick them up from the airport, spend the day and evening with them catching up on Thursday, then we can meet you on Friday after you get off of work.” she explained.

  
“3 nights without you is going to suck.” he told her as he held her.

  
“It will, but we have to start somewhere. I’m sure you’ll have projects coming up that you’ll need to travel for.” she said a little sadly.

  
“Hey, let’s not worry about that until we have to.” he told her as he kissed her forehead.

  
In the back of his mind, he knew that it would happen eventually, but he was hoping for at least a few more months over the holidays before he had to make that decision.

 

 

_That Thursday at the airport pickup..._

  
**Clarke:**

  
Clarke was so excited that her Mom and Raven were coming to visit her and her new life. She had so many shops, restaurants, parks and museums on our list of things to do while they were there from the next 4 days.

 

She saw them exit the airport and she jumped out of the car to run and greet them! They had a tight group hug, and Clarke helped them load their bags into the back, then they hoped in and began to exit the airport area.

 

“I’m so happy ya’ll are here! How was the flight?” she asked in excitement.

  
“The flight was good, honey. How are you?” Abby asked.

  
“Yeah, you look hot Clarke. Also, is this your car?” Raven asked looking around.

  
“Umm thank you, and no it’s my roommates, why?” Clarke asked looking back in the rearview mirror.

  
“Well, because it’s clean for one, and there is a stack of books back here and we all know that you don’t read.” she said sarcastically.

  
“Brat. I wonder if he needs those.” Clarke thought out loud.

  
“He? Your roommate is a he?” Raven asked with a wicked smile.

  
“Yes, HE is.” Clarke said shortly.

  
“What else can you tell us about this mysterious roommate of yours?” Abby asked lightly.

  
“Well, he reads a lot, he’s a writer, he cooks, cleans, makes sure I eat properly when I forget to, and I think you two would love him.” Clarke said vaguely.

  
“Sounds too good to be true. How does your new boy toy feel about this amazing roommate of yours?” Raven prodded.

  
Clarke just froze, she wasn’t ready for this whole conversation just yet, “He’s, uh,” she started.

  
“The same person as your roommate.” Raven said matter of fact.

  
“How did you know?” Clarke asked, curious as to how she figured it out that quickly.

  
“The way you smiled and described this roommate of yours. Oh, and one of the books here has a love letter written inside that is definitely your crappy hand writing.” Raven said with a giant grin.

  
“Thanks Raven.” Clarke said with an eye roll.

  
“So, why haven’t you told us that you were living with the same guy you are in a relationship with?” Abby inquired.

  
“I just didn’t know how to tell you two honestly. I didn’t know how you would feel about it. I knew him before I moved here, and he ended up moving here too for work without either of us knowing about the other since we had lost contact for a bit. Then he was looking for a roommate, I was looking for a place to live, and both just sort of happened. I’m happy, like genuinely happy. What may not work for other people, works for us. I think we all know that not everyone has the same type of relationship and timeline as the norm. He knows everything about me and what I have been through, and...” she trailed off, feeling a giant smile grow on her face, “He still loves me, because of it or in spite of it.” Clarke told them.

  
“He sounds wonderful sweetheart.” Abby said with a genuine smile.

  
“He sounds too good to be true. I want to meet him.” Raven said, going into protective mode.

  
“Tomorrow. I want to hang out with you two before you come after Bellamy.” Clarke told her.

  
“Bellamy. So, we have a name.” Raven stated as she started typing on her phone.

  
“Good luck. He doesn’t have social media.” Clarke taunted her.

  
“What a caveman.” she mumbled as we pulled up to the condo.

 

They went up to their place for the weekend, and got settled in on the couch as they continued to bombard Clarke with questions about Bellamy, “Guy’s he is a very open book, and I’m sure he would love to tell you about himself tomorrow.” she said exhausted.

  
“Okay, but what are some things we should knowing going in, so as to not make it super awkward.” Raven countered.

  
“Uh, his last relationship was a little over 3 years and they broke up a little over year ago. He never knew his father, his mother passed away 12 years ago and he has a sister that lives nearby. I think those are the topics you can avoid unless he brings it up. Everything else, he’s pretty open about.” Clarke explained.

  
“That’s good to know. I can almost guarantee one of my questions would’ve been about his upbringing and his family, so I’m glad you let us know.” Abby said.

  
“He gets off around 5 tomorrow, then I thought we could go over and you can see where we live, and then we can go to dinner.” Clarke explained.

  
“Sounds good. Now, what about today?” Raven asked radiating energy.

  
“Shopping central today, then we can come back after we shop until we drop and order from an amazing place nearby, or go out. Depending on how tired we are.” Clarke suggested.

  
“What are we waiting for? Let’s go!” Raven said standing up quickly.

 

 

_Meanwhile across town..._

  
**Bellamy:**

  
It was just a normal day at work, and Bellamy was not looking forward to going home to an empty apartment and having dinner alone, but he grabbed a few things from the office so he could get some more work done this evening, and hopefully get off earlier tomorrow.

  
He had carpooled with Murphy so Clarke could use the car to get her mom and sister. He had planned on cleaning his room this evening as well since he knew they would be coming over tomorrow to see where he and Clarke were living, and Clarke had already gone on a cleaning spree before she left.

 

Murphy and Bellamy decided to get some takeout on the way home and watch a movie at Murphy’s place.

  
“Emori is going out with Harper tonight and I don’t want you to make a mess of your kitchen before you meet the future family tomorrow.” Murphy said with a smirk.

  
“Yeah, thanks.” Bellamy replied sarcastically. “Should I be nervous? Because I don’t feel nervous and I’m starting to get nervous that I'm not nervous.” he told him.

  
“Could you say the word nervous anymore in that sentence?” Murphy rolled his eyes. “From what Clarke has told me, after she tells them about the two of you living together and dating it should be smooth sailing from there. But, at the end of the day it is 3 women, so take that for whatever its worth.”

  
“I grew up with my mom and O, I think I can manage.” he laughed.

  
“Suit yourself, but just because they know you live together, doesn’t mean they know you sleep in the same bed every night. Maybe make your room look lived in, clean, but still like you live in there.” he suggested.

  
“Good point. I should probably get on that. Lord knows she already purified the rest of the place.” before Murphy could make a crude joke, Bellamy held his hand up, “And no, that had nothing to do with what we have done and where in the apartment.”

  
Murphy just smirked at him as they finished their dinner. Bellamy headed back home shortly after to start cleaning up, then he pulled out some of the work that he brought home.

 

He went to bed and tossed and turned until he gave up and grabbed his laptop to open a document he had been slowly working on in his spare time. He started typing out a continuation of where he left off last time.

 

  
_‘I woke up to find her sitting peacefully on the balcony, sketch pad in hand, tracing over the lines of the ocean in pencil. She was a calm and beautiful sight to behold like this. Inspired and determined. Yeah, I really loved this woman.’_

 

  
Bellamy knew one day he would need a partner to help finish this project, but he wanted to make sure he had done everything he could before that day came.

 

 

_The next morning..._

  
**Clarke:**

  
Clarke slowly woke up to the sound of someone in the kitchen in the other room. She turned her phone over to see the time, 7am.

 

Ugh. Then she swiped her phone open to see a message from Bellamy

 

_Bellamy_

_‘I missed you last night. For future reference, I do not like this sleeping apart thing one bit.’_

  
she smiled and replied to him

 

_Clarke_

_‘I don’t either, especially since I’m sharing a bed with my sister who both snores and kicks in her sleep.’_

  
His reply came immediately

 

_Bellamy_

_‘You’re awake? What is happening to you?’_

 

  
_Clarke  
‘I’m guessing their bodies are still on central time, so it’s 9am to them and they are wasting the day. Sad emoji.’_

 

  
_Bellamy  
‘If you slept with me, you wouldn’t have to be awake right now. Wink emoji.’_

 

  
_Clarke  
‘Yeah, yeah we both agree it sucks. I guess I should get up and go find them. I’ll see you at the apartment around 5-5:30?’_

 

  
_Bellamy  
‘I will be there. Love you, have a fun day!’_

 

  
_Clarke  
‘Love you too.’_

 

She got out of the warm bed, and shuffled into the kitchen to see Raven and her Mom sipping on their first cup of coffee of the day, “You do know, that people who don’t have to work and that are on vacation are not up at 7am on a Friday right?” Clarke said sleepy as she headed for the coffee.

  
“Ah, I missed before coffee Clarke.” Raven snickered into her mug.

  
“I didn’t miss your snoring, or kicking for that matter.” she shot back.

  
“So, what are we seeing today?” Abby asked changing the subject.

  
“There are a few art museums that are pretty popular around here. A friend of mine actually, has an exhibit up for the fall that is amazing. Then I thought we could do lunch, hit a few more shops in the art district that are more antique and vintage, then come back to get ready for dinner before heading over to meet up with Bellamy at the apartment.” Clarke explained.

  
“Sounds like fun. What about breakfast?” Abby asked.

  
“Let me shower, and get dressed for the day. Here, there is a pretty great diner that delivers around here if you want to call in and place and order for delivery.” Clarke said handing her mo her phone.

 

She went into the bathroom to shower, wake up and get ready for the day. She was excited to show her Mom and Raven all of the gorgeous art scenes there in Vancouver, it’s not a huge thing they had where they were from, and she know how much she loved it when she first saw it when she moved there.

 

  
Once they were ready for the day they ate the breakfast that Abby ordered, then headed out to the first museum of the day.

 

Fall was in full swing, and the fresh air and brisk breeze in the air, along with all of the colors of the changing leaves reminded Clarke how much she was looking forward to having regular Fall seasons there.

  
After the first two museums, they got to Lincoln’s exhibit and Clarke was so excited to see his new pieces.

  
They walked in and was instantly met with the warm smile of the man himself. Clarke walked up to him and gave him a hug and introduced him to her family.

“This is my mom Abby, and my sister Raven Guys, this is Lincoln and this is his exhibit.” She said sweeping her arms out wide to show the huge open room.

  
“It’s nice to meet the two of you, and to see this one so excited to have some of her old home here in her new home.” Lincoln stated.

  
“It’s nice to finally meet some of her new family that she has made here.” Abby said to him.

  
“Am I the first?” Lincoln said with an amused smile.

  
“You are, I just had to bring them here today, before all the crowds on the weekend come in tomorrow.” Clarke told him.

  
“Oh man, I do not envy you when Octavia and Bellamy find out.” he said teasing.

  
“Octavia is Lincoln’s Fiancé, as well as Bellamy’s sister.” Clarke explained to her Mom and Raven. “We are meeting up with him after he gets off work, and I thought Octavia was gone this week?”

  
“She’ll be back tonight from Toronto. Well, it was nice meeting you two. Clarke can give you the grand tour, and if you need anything, I’ll be up in the loft office.” Lincoln said as he excused himself to get some work done.

  
They wondered around the museum, looking over all of the paintings Lincoln had hanging up. They came across one that Clarke hadn’t seen yet, and when she saw what is was titled she smiled, ‘When lightning strikes’.

 

It was from their time at the beach house, with the gray clouds rolling in and the waves picking up with a strike of lightning in the distance at the top, and the beach and the beginning of the back deck with the stairs descending at the bottom. She smiled at the memory of the view.

  
They continued around the exhibit, until they came to the end, bid Lincoln a goodbye and headed for a café not too far away for lunch.

 

They were sitting at a table near a window, when the two people Clarke knew would rub this in Bellamy’s face walked into the Café.

  
Murphy and Nate placed their order at the pickup counter, then turned to see her sitting at a table and both broke out with matching Cheshire grins, “Clarke, what a nice surprise running into you here.” Murphy said too friendly for my comfort, “Who do we have here joining you.” he said, really turning on the charm.

  
“This is my Mom Abby, and my Sister Raven. This is Murphy my Neighbor, Bellamy’s co-worker and depending on how this goes, maybe still my friend.” Clarke said shooting him a challenging smirk.

“And this is Nate. He is most definitely my friend, and also works with Bellamy.” she told them.

  
“It is a pleasure to meet the rest of the infamous ‘Griffin Women’.” Murphy said sweetly.

  
“Yes, it’s nice to meet you both.” Nate chimed in. “Unfortunately, we have to grab our lunch right quick and head back to the office. Boss is cracking the whip today to get out of there earlier, so we are picking up lunch so we can eat and work.” Nate explained.

  
“Get him a cookie too. He likes the ones here, and will maybe help his sour mood.” Clarke said with a laugh.

  
“Thank you! We will let you ladies get back to your lunch. Nice to meet you.” they said as they grabbed their bags of food and left out the door.

  
“Those seem like very nice boys.” Abby said with a smile.

  
“So, do you only have attractive guy friends here or what?” Raven laughed.

  
“No. Octavia is in Toronto, and Harper and Emori are at work.” Clarke said simply.

  
“Well, if your friends look like that, I am even more intrigued to see what the one you actually snagged looks like.” Raven joked.

  
“Oh, shut it.” Clarke said with no heat smiling back at her, because yeah, she did snag the best one.


	42. He treats your little girl like a real man should

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Griffin Women and Bellamy meet. But something is holding Clarke back from letting him fully into that part of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved writing a good family meeting chapter!

_Meanwhile, back at the office..._

  
**Bellamy:**

  
Bellamy was pushing to get everything done, so he could head home and get ready before the girls got to the apartment.

 

Nate and Murphy had left to go get lunch so they could all work and eat at the same time.  
When they walked in the door, Murphy tossed a small white paper bag to Bellamy and he caught it and opened it to see a fresh chocolate chip cookie and smiled, then Bellamy was hit with confusion, “How did you know?” he asked.

  
“Oh, we just happened to run into your girlfriend that happened to give you up on this little secret.” Nate smiled mischievously.

  
“You saw Clarke?” Bellamy asked a little surprised.

  
“Yes, her and her Mom and Sister were having lunch at the café when we walked in to pick up the food.” Murphy said with a triumphant smile.

  
“You got to meet them already?!”

  
“Yep, and they had said that they just came from Woods Exhibit, so chances are they met Lincoln too.” Nate said unpacking the food from the bags.

  
“Unbelievable. I have been waiting at stressing about meeting them, and half of you have already met them.” Bellamy said annoyed.

  
“Relax, yours is more important anyway since last I checked, the rest of us aren’t dating and living with their pride and joy.” Murphy reminded me.

  
“Yeah, no pressure.” Bellamy said as they started eating and finalizing this month's submissions.

 

They finished and left the office around 4:30, so Bellamy had plenty of time to change and clean up before the girls arrived.

  
He was in the middle of cleaning out the coffee filter and refilling it when he heard keys in the lock. He quickly wiped his hands off and stood behind the kitchen island, looking at the door waiting to see the women he knew were on the other side.

 

”You’re here early.” he heard as soon as Clarke came through the door and saw him standing in the kitchen.

  
“Well, the guys and I worked through lunch, but I guess you already knew that. Thanks for ratting me out about the cookies.” he said jokingly.

  
“I was just trying to help everyone involved.” She said with a bright smile.

 

“Bell, this is my family. My Mom Abby, and my Sister Raven.” she told him as he looked at them both.

 

“And this is Bellamy, my Boyfriend and Roommate.” he looked back to her with a smile that she returned.

  
Bellamy made his way around the counter to shake her mom's hand, “It’s so nice to finally meet you both. I hear I’m one of the last ones to do so.” he joked.

  
“Oh yeah, we already met all of the other good-looking men. I think he wins Clarke.” Raven smirks.

  
“Oh geez.” Clarke says exasperated with a hand on her forehead.

  
“It’s nice to meet you Bellamy. I would apologize and warn you about this one here,” her mom said nodding to Clarke’s sister, “But if you can handle Clarke, then I’m sure Raven will be a breeze.” her mom joked to him.

  
“Hello, standing right here!” Clarke said waving her hands in front of her.

  
“Yes, you are. Now show us where you live so we can stop imagining it being like a sterile hospital room.” Raven said as she showed herself down the hall.

  
Clarke just looked back at Bellamy and shrugged, and then he stole a quick kiss as they showed her family the rest of the apartment.

 

 

After the tour, they headed down to the car and to a restaurant overlooking the harbor for a sunset dinner. It was an absolutely beautiful site, but not as beautiful as the strong women surrounding him at the dinner table.

 

They asked the typical questions of him. School, work, hobbies, and then, “So, what are your intentions with my sister.” Raven asked with a wicked grin.

  
_*Thud*_

  
“Ouch!” Raven let out.

  
“That’s what you get.” Clarke growled out.

  
“It’s okay. I love your sister. I know it may seem a little unconventional on how we met and got together, but I have felt this way about her since we met 7 months ago now.” Bellamy said smiling over at Clarke as he squeezed her hand.

 

“My only intention is to be happy with her and to make her happy as long as she will have me.” he expressed honestly.

  
Abby looked at him from across the table with a grateful smile. ”That’s all anyone can ask for, for their loved one.” she said simply.

  
“So, Clarke tells me that you live on a large piece of land on the country side. I have never been to Texas, but it sounds very peaceful.” He said changing the subject off of him for a minute.

  
“I do. It’s the perfect place for quiet mornings on the porch with a cup of coffee. It’s my happy place for sure.” Her mom expressed.

  
“You should come visit sometime. We could show you around town, show you where Clarke came from, what good food is like, and I can show you the shop I run that was left to me by our dad.” Raven offered.

  
Bellamy looked over to Clarke, who had seemed to tune out and was intently watching the sunset over the harbor, “If Clarke would like to bring me to visit sometime, I would love that.” Bellamy answered honestly.

  
That seemed to get her attention. “What? Sorry, I zoned out for a second there.” Clarke said shaking her head.

  
“I just invited your boyfriend to come to Texas sometime. See where you are from.” Raven said casually.

  
“Oh. I’m not sure when that will be, but you are always welcomed to come of course.” Clarke said very diplomatically.

  
Bellamy looked over at her and gave her knee a gentle squeeze, and then she looked at him with a tight smile, then turned back to her dinner. Well, that was a bit odd.

 

  
After dinner, Bellamy invited the Griffin Women to join their usual group for open mic night and Parlor.

 

“It’s past my bedtime back home, so I think I would like to head back to the condo and get some sleep. You two girls should go though.” Abby had said.

  
“I’m game. I want to meet your other friends.” Raven said excitedly.

  
“We can drop you off on our way Mom. I’ll make sure we have the spare key to get back in later.” Clarke had said as they headed back to the car to take Abby back to their condo, before meeting up with their friends for the night.

 

 

_Later at the Bar..._

  
**Clarke:**

  
They had just dropped Abby off. Raven, Bellamy and Clarke were headed to the Bar to meet up with everyone.

 

Clarke had been a little out of it since dinner, and even more so when she heard them invite Bellamy to Texas. It wasn’t that she didn’t want him to go, but she had done a pretty good job of putting that life behind her, to help her move on, and she was scared of the possibility of having to revisit places there, and with him in tow. 

 

Clarke wasn’t sure how she would react, or how he would feel being where she used to be with her former husband, and her old life. Clarke loved where they were now and her life, and she didn’t want to feel like she was going backwards by revisiting the past.

 

She didn’t think it was something she was ready for, especially with him along for the ride.

 

  
As soon as they saw their friends in their usual spot, Clarke slid in next to Octavia and grabbed a shot that was sitting on a tray in the middle of the table, before grabbing the one O had set in front of her right after that.

  
“Woah, I know I’ve been in Toronto all week, but is everything okay? Did meeting your family not go well?” she said concerned.

  
“No, it was fine, speaking of...” I trailed off as Bellamy and Raven came over from getting drinks at the bar, “Everyone, this is my sister Raven. Raven, you already met the men here at the table except Monty. Next to him is his girlfriend Harper, Emori who is brave enough to attach herself to Murphy, and this is Octavia, Bellamy’s sister and who is engaged to Lincoln who you met at the art gallery earlier.” Clarke said making the introductions.

  
“Nice to see my sister wasn’t lying about not only being friends with men.” Raven laughed.

  
Clarke stood up, followed by Octavia so Raven could slide in. Before Clarke sat back down, Octavia grabbed her arm and told the table we would be right back. She led her to the bathroom, and once they were inside she turned around and gently placed her hands on Clarke’s folded arms, “What happened, Clarke?”

  
“Having my family here just brings up old emotions. Everyone got along great, but then they invited Bellamy to come visit Texas sometime and I just felt bit...” she couldn’t find the right word.

  
“Suffocated.” Octavia finished.

  
“Yeah, but I know no one was doing it intentionally. I just am so happy with my life here, with him, I just don’t want anything to be ruined by taking him to my past life. I haven’t even been back there except for 2 weeks and it’s been over a year and a half. I just don’t even know if it’s something I’m ready for, much less with him as well.” Clarke explained to her.

  
“Tell him that. You two have been pretty open with each other since the beginning. I’m sure he would understand if you explain that to him the way you just did.” she said sympathetically.

  
“I just don’t want him to feel like I’m shutting him out of a part of my life, or that I don’t want him around. It’s just not something I even considered until it was brought up.” Clarke said feeling a little more buzzed from the shots now.

  
“He will understand, I promise. Now, Lincoln and I have some news we wanted to share with everyone, so let’s go back out and join everyone.” Octavia said with a comforting smile as she held her hand and they walked back out together.

 

  
Once they got back to the table, Clarke said down next to Bellamy, and Octavia sat across from her next to Lincoln with a wink thrown at Clarke. “So, Lincoln and I have some exciting news!” Octavia started.

  
“We have set a wedding date. May 1st. Daytime wedding at the Gallery. We are using the huge outdoor patio area for the ceremony, and we are clearing out all of the desks and sculptures on the main floor to have a large open reception area.” Lincoln announced.

  
Everyone all started celebrating and congratulating the happy couple. “We have assignments for each of you, since we aren’t exactly doing bridal parties in the traditional sense, but we want you all to be a part of this special day.” Octavia told us, “Now, let’s celebrate! We’re getting married!” She shouted as they all raised their glasses in a toast.

  
“Hey, are you okay?” Bellamy leaned down and said in her ear.

  
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? Your little sister is getting married!” Clarke said with a genuine smile.

  
“I’m just happy that they finally decided to do this. It has been a long time coming.” He said with a smirk as he clinked his glass with hers. “Nice side step to my question by the way.” he added with a wink.

  
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Clarke said as she leaned in to catch his lips in a quick kiss.

  
“You win this time.” He said as he leaned back down to kiss her again.

  
“GET A ROOM!” Raven yelled as the others whistled and laughed along.

 

  
They all took their turns doing Karaoke and Clarke, her sister and Octavia tackled ‘Party in the USA’ while Harper and Emori were their backup dancers.

 

They all took a break from laughing and drinking in the booth to sip on some water.

 

Then the beginnings of ‘If I ain’t got you” started playing by the band, and then Bellamy was holding his hand out to Clarke to join him on the dance floor with Octavia and Lincoln, Emori and Murphy , and Harper and Monty. They were shortly joined by Nate and Raven.

 

  
_“Some people want it all, but I don’t want nothing at all. If it ain’t you baby, if I ain’t got you baby. Some people want diamonds rings, and some just want everything, but everything means nothing if I ain’t got you.”_

 

  
Bellamy smiled as he twirled Clarke around and then sang the lyrics in her ear as he held her close. “Are you sure you can’t come home with me tonight? Raven can stay in your room. I just miss you.” he said as he looked down at her with the sweetest smiled.

  
“My mom will freak out if we aren’t there when she wakes up tomorrow. I promise it will make it that much better when I come home. Absence makes the heart grow fonder right?” Clarke asked laughing.

  
“Speak for yourself, my heart is already pretty fond of you.” he chuckled as he leaned his forehead onto hers.

She loved this feeling with him. It was like they were in their own little world, and it was a happy place.

  
Once they all decided to call it a night, Bellamy, Clarke and Raven headed back to the Condo.

 

Once they were parked outside, Raven hopped out and said she would wait by the elevator for Clarke with a knowing look.

  
“Subtlety isn’t her specialty.” she half joked to Bellamy.

  
“Hey,” he started as he put his hand gently on her cheek, “We never have to do anything you aren’t ready for. I know that trip invitation caught you off guard tonight. I love you, I love our life, and we don’t have to change that if you don’t want to.”

  
“How do you literally know everything? What I'm thinking? What’s bothering me before I tell you?” Clarke said in amazement.

  
“I like to think it’s because I love you so much that I pay attention to every detail that I can.” he joked.

  
“It’s not you, I just don’t even think I’m ready to go back and revisit that life. I’m so happy here with you, and I don’t want to risk anything changing that.” she told him honestly.

  
“Nothing could change the way I feel about you. I’m pretty damn happy here with our life too. Go up and get some sleep, and I will see you tomorrow. I love you.” he finished with a sweet kiss.

  
“I love you, so much. Goodnight.” she said as she hopped out of his car and headed inside.

  
Once she got to the elevator, Raven wrapped her arm around her shoulder, “I know. It’s difficult to not go home with hot stuff, and be stuck with me tonight instead.” she laughed, “I like your friends. I can see why you would want to stay here too.” she said and she squeezed Clarke into her side.

  
“Yeah, they are pretty great. I’m really happy here Raven.” Clarke admitted.

  
“I know, I can tell. I can’t remember the last time I saw you smile and laugh so much. I also know that you have no intention of coming back anytime soon. For a visit I mean. It’s obvious that this is where you belong.” she said taking the words out of her mouth.

  
“I’m sorry. It’s not that I don’t miss you and Mom. I just, don’t want to fall back into the past, and home is filled with so many memories and ghosts.” Clarke told her as they walked inside to their room.

  
“It’s okay. I understand that and so does Mom. I know it can’t be easy seeing everything again, especially with how everything ended for you there. This is a good place Clarke. It’s your home now.” she smiled at her.

  
“Thanks Raven. Let’s get some sleep, I have a feeling tomorrow will be another long day.” Clarke said as they crawled into bed.

 

 

Her Mom and Raven’s trip continued with all of then meeting Bellamy, Octavia and Lincoln for a hike on Saturday to see all of the fall foliage and mountains.

 

Clarke was able to find a nice rock to sit on top of and sketch the scenery before her. It was a crisp and sunny day, perfect for hiking. Abby had joined her after a while, while the others were down by the lakeshore in front of them, “I haven’t seen you sketch in some time honey.” Abby had said.

  
“I have to be inspired. Usually something as beautiful as a place like this helps.” Clarke told her, trying to get the shading on the mountains right.

  
“Or someone.” she said, as Clarke paused her strokes. “I really like Bellamy honey. I think he is exactly the kind of person you need at this stage in life. After talking to him alone and seeing how he is with you and others, I feel much more confident that you are in the right place right now.” she said as she squeezed her shoulder then joined the rest of the group.

  
Clarke didn’t realize she wanted her mother’s approval of Bellamy, until she gave it just now. She looked up to see the man in question looking back at her with a giant smile on his face and she couldn’t help the face splitting grin that took over her face.

 

She closed her book and headed down to the shore to join everyone else. They spent the rest of the day exploring different trails, and taking in the fresh air.

 

 

  
Sunday came quickly, and Clarke was helping Abby and Raven pack up their things before they joined Bellamy for Brunch, then heading back to the airport.

  
Once they got the bags unloaded, and they said their goodbyes to Bellamy, he got back in the car to wait for clarke as she said goodbye to her family. “Let me know when ya’ll get home. I’m so glad you got to come.” She told them each as she took her turn hugging each of them.

  
“We had such a nice time sweetheart, and we loved meeting your friends. We will see you soon.” Abby said as she hugged her back.

  
“Hurry up and make a move on Wick, before you lose him.” Clarke told Raven as she hugged her.

  
“He would never leave me, he needs me too much.” She said with a sly smile.

  
With that they waved one final time, before they disappeared into the airport crowd and Clarke got back in the car with Bellamy.

  
“You okay?” He said as he picked up her hand in his.

  
“I am. And I'm ready to go home.” she said with a genuine smile.

  
With that, he leaned over and kissed her sweetly, before pulling out of the airport and heading back to their home.


	43. beautiful disaster.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy get their beach getaway. But, an ultimatum threatens their happy little bubble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has some heavy angst. It was one of the hardest chapters to write, but I am so happy to start tying up some of the hanging strings

October turned to November and Bellamy and Clarke were enjoying the cooler weather and all that it brought.

 

Octavia and Lincoln went into full wedding planning mode, and the group were all given their assignments to help with.

 

Clarke was doing the cake as well as a few songs with Murphy who was in charge of music. Harper and Emori were in charge of decorating and all 3 girls would be wearing long pastel colored dresses to stand by Octavia’s side the day of the wedding.

Nate and Monty were in charge of the bar stock and helping set up the reception space. Bellamy was to serve as the best man, as well as escorting his sister down the aisle and giving her away. He nearly bursted into tears when she asked him.

  
Word from Abby back home was that Raven had finally asked Wick out after a heated debate that involved a dangerous roadside call he took in the middle of an intense storm. Clarke was so proud of her.

  
Bryan had moved to Atlanta, and he and David split shortly afterwards, no surprise there. Bryan was planning on coming up to Vancouver at the beginning of the year to visit.

  
They were all going on with our lives accordingly, and then Bellamy came home with some news, “I have to go out to LA the week before thanksgiving to do an end of the year review type thing, and what we are looking forward to and planning for the new year. I was hoping you would want to come with me, and we could get that beach house getaway we planned way back when we first met?” he asked hopefully.

 

  
“I can think of anything else I would rather do. Let’s do it!” Clarke said almost jumping up and down.

  
He picked her up and spun her around, “I was hoping that was your answer. We leave on Sunday.” he told her. It was Thursday, so they had a few days to get everything packed.

 

 

 

Sunday came quickly, and Murphy took them to the airport, promising to keep their apartment standing while they were gone for a few days.

 

They checked in and waited in the gate area to board their flight both engrossed in their own reading and music. They both travelled a lot so they were pretty used to their own routine, but this was their first time traveling together, so Clarke pulled her earbud out and said, “So, what are you supposed to be doing while we are there?”

  
“Tomorrow I will go to the old office I use to work at, the one you’ve been to,” he said with a wink, “And I will fill them in on the new office and staff, we will all go around and present what we are finishing up for the year and proposing what is to come in the new year. You will have the whole beach to yourself for the day and then hopefully I will have my assignments I can work on from the beach with you for the remaining time we are there.” he said with a smile.

  
“Mm, sounds perfect. I promise to enjoy the beach for both of us tomorrow, while you’re in the city stuck in an office building.” Clarke teased him.

  
“Thank you for your sacrifice.” he replied sarcastically as they called for their boarding group.

 

 

 

_Exiting LAX a few hours later..._

**Bellamy:**

 

Clarke and Bellamy had just landed in LA, and as much as he didn’t like this place, with her by his side this time he was actually looking forward to this trip.

 

They were staying in Santa Monica outside of LA and they had a gorgeous ocean view and private beach access from the house they were staying in.

 

Bellamy wanted her experience here to be one to remember, and he knew how much the scenery in Vancouver inspired her, so he was hoping to recreate that for her here.

  
They unpacked then grabbed a couple of wine glasses and headed out to the back deck to take in the salt air and scene before then.

 

It felt like absolute perfection. The girl he loved right next to him with the most expansive and breathtaking view in front of them. Looking out over the vast ocean and endless cresting waves, he couldn’t help but wish to freeze this moment here with her.

 

She leaned her head on his shoulder and he pulled her closer, “Thank you for coming with me.” Bellamy whispered in her ear.

  
“It didn’t take much convincing. I would go to the middle of nowhere Montana if it meant being with you, but this is definitely a better location choice.” she joked.

  
“Let’s get changed, and go out. I want to take you to one of my favorite places for dinner.” He told her as they finished off their glass of wine and headed inside.

 

  
They had an amazing dinner at a Spanish place that he used to go to when he was in town. They made it back to the house before the sun had completely set. Bellamy led Clarke out to the back porch to watch as he just held her and swayed back and forth, even though there was no music playing.

 

Only this woman could cause this type of feeling in him. He was never someone who believed in fairytales and happily ever after, or dancing for no reason until he met her.

  
They both headed to bed that night with huge smiles on their faces. When they were in bed in the quiet darkness, Bellamy felt it hit him like a freight train.

 

She was his fairy tale ending, his happily ever after and he could tell by the look in her eyes, that he was hers. He knew this trip was his opportunity to finally tell her what he had been working on ever since he met her.

 

 

Bellamy woke up the next morning to an empty bed and an amazing smell coming from the next room. He rolled out of bed and found Clarke with a mountain of waffles and bacon, and thankfully a fresh pot of coffee as well.

 

“Good Morning. Someone has been busy.” he said to her.

  
“I had a craving, and I wanted you to have a nice full breakfast before you go back to work today.” she said with a smile, spatula in hand, and still in her PJ’s.

  
“This smells amazing.” he told her as he came up to kiss her good morning, “Thank you. Let’s eat!” Bellamy told her as they sat down at the breakfast bar and dug in.

 

Shortly after, he went back to their room to get ready to go into the office for the day.  
When he came back out to the living room, he found Clarke curled up in one of the armchairs with his latest publishing in hand, “You’re already on the last book?” he asked.

 

“Yes, and about half-way through, so come back with something good for me to read.” she said with a bright smile.

  
“Ha, no pressure. I’ll be back later today. Are you going to be okay here? If you need me, I will have my phone on.” Bellamy told her always reluctant to leave her, especially here in their own little paradise.

  
“Go, I’ll be perfectly fine here. Have a great day.” she said as she leaned up on her tip tops to kiss him goodbye.

 

 

Bellamy arrived at the old office, and did not miss the place or the traffic to get there and pared.

 

He headed upstairs and went straight to the conference room, since he no longer had an office space there. He saw a few familiar faces and they caught up on what each office was up to over the last 6 months or so, then he heard someone call his name from behind, “Roma. How have you been?” Bellamy said in the coldest and most polite tone that he could muster.

  
“Good, how are you? How’s Vancouver. I miss you around here.” she said trying to go in for a hug before he held his hand out to her.

  
“Vancouver is everything I could have ever wanted. The office is amazing, great friends, near my sister and living with my girlfriend who is beyond perfect, no thanks to you in that regard. I believe you two have met.” Bellamy said, his voice laced with venom.

  
Roma gave him a confused look, “Clarke. You met her in Boston, offered to give me her contact info that I never got from you. I spent months looking for her only for fate to bring us both together in the same place. No worries, it all worked out in the end.” he said leaving Roma stunned in place as he went to the opposite side of the room to grab a seat before Charles came into the room to start their end of the year meeting.

  
As the meeting wrapped up, Bellamy decided to stay in the conference room to get some work done, until Charles poked his head into the room and asked him to head into his office instead.

  
“So, Bellamy I am incredibly proud of all the work you guys have been able to accomplish up there. And your own writing has improved drastically. It’s filled with so much more emotion and feelings that I haven’t seen from you before. I don’t know if it’s the air up there or what, but whatever it is, don’t let it go.” Charles told me.

 

  
“Wow, thank you sir. That is a very flattering compliment.” Bellamy said a bit shocked.

 

  
“You’ve always been good, but this next level stuff is what has me convinced that I need you for this special project that was brought to us. I was trying to figure out who to send, but I think you are the perfect fit from what I’ve been reading lately.” he expressed.

 

  
“Sounds amazing, what is the assignment?” Bellamy asked curiously.

 

  
“3 months in Thailand. There is an amazing group there, led by a modern day Ghandi. The specific group uses isolation to congregate and mediate on how to help those who in turn can help change the world. It’s not a cult or anything, they are very peaceful and many world leaders have gone there to find inner peace and help focus on how to help the world become a better place. It’s 3 months secluded, so you would just be there, writing and observing and interviewing them and those that come to the area for the same quest. No internet or cell service, just you and your writing, but I need someone on this who can really grasp and translate this amazing place into reality. You would leave in January, and I know your sister is getting married this spring, but you should be back in plenty of time for that.” he said as thought it was a done deal and Bellamy had accepted.

 

  
“Wow. That sounds very interesting and intense. Are you sure I’m the right person for this job? I mean I run the Vancouver office and we have only been up and operating for a few months, it would be difficult for me to just up and leave for 3 months.” Bellamy told him, trying as nicely as possible to turn it down.

 

  
“Nate and Murphy are perfectly capable of running things for a few months without you. You have finished your latest projects, and I need you on this one, which is why I haven’t assigned you to anything else yet. This is a once in a life time opportunity, so unless you have something major in the works that I don’t know about yet.” he said trailing off.

 

 

Bellamy had to think quick, as amazing as this all sounded, being secluded on the other side of the world with literally no way to contact anyone back home for 3 months was more than he wanted to sign up for, so he panicked, “I actually have something. Something so amazing that I think this could be my big adaptation to film project.” great, now this wasn’t going to go over well.

 

  
“Great! I’m so glad that you’re finally branching out into that industry. What is it? I haven’t seen anything like that from you yet.” Charles asked very intrigued.

 

  
“Well, that’s the thing. I haven’t gotten an agreement from the person who the story is about just yet. I will also have to have their help in finishing off the parts of the story that I cannot.” Bellamy said vaguely.

 

  
“Well, if you can get consent before the end of the year, I can send someone else to Thailand so you can focus on this.” he stated.

 

  
Bellamy just nodded his head, then slowly got up to gather his things to leave. He couldn’t believe that he opened his big fat mouth about the story for Clarke that he hasn’t even told her about.

 

He went to the printer room and printed out a few pages that he had completely finished, and hoped that she would be able to see where his heart was with this, and understand where he was coming from when he did this.

 

 

 

Bellamy walked into the house to see Clarke napping on the couch in a pair of cut offs, tank top and a thin zip up and he just froze. He didn’t want to have to wake her up and talk about this, he didn’t want to ruin what would be an amazing rest of their trip, so he just slid into the bedroom and changed before he walked back out to sit lightly next to her and brushed her hair out of her face.

 

She stirred and slowly blinked her eyes open and looked up at him with a smile, “Hey, you’re back.”

 

“I am. How was your day?” he asked her.

  
“It was amazing. I laid out in the sunshine and finished your book, then I came inside and crashed on the couch for a bit.” she said as she slowly sat up, “How was work? Get anything good?” she asked excitedly.

 

  
“Uh, yeah we talked through everything we needed to.” Bellamy said lightly as he walked into the kitchen to grab a beer. He couldn’t lie to her, but he also couldn’t imagine what would happen if he told her about what he did.

 

Clarke came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head on his back, “What’s wrong? Talk to me.” she said quietly.

 

  
Bellamy took a deep breath, and then turned to face her, “My boss wants to send me on an assignment that sounds amazing, but I really don’t want to go on. He made it sound like there wasn’t a choice, unless I had an ace in my pocket that I hadn’t played yet.” he started.

 

  
Clarke led him to the couch to sit down with her, as she nodded for him to continue, “I would be going to Thailand at the beginning of the year, no cell service, no internet, just me and the writing for this world peace organization or something.” he paused, “For 3 months.”

 

  
Bellamy didn’t want to see the look on Clarke’s  face, but he turned just in time to see her emotions flicker in her eyes from confusion, to sadness, to acceptance and it killed him.

 

  
“Sounds intense. If this is as good as he says it is, and you are the best in his opinion, then I guess you don’t have a choice here.” she said evenly.

 

  
“Clarke, I don’t want to do it. Even when I was traveling often, no way would I want to stay somewhere for 3 months with no way to contact anyone in the outside world.” Bellamy told her, begging her to understand.

 

  
“What about Octavia’s wedding? Did he give you a choice to decline?” she asked.

 

  
“He said if I had a project that he hadn’t seen yet that I was working on, then that was the only way he would let someone else go instead. He promised I would be back in time for the wedding. I would leave near the end of January, so it would be cutting it close.” he told her.

 

  
“Do you?” she asked almost pleadingly.

 

  
“Maybe, I don’t know. There is a personal project that I work on in my spare time, but it isn’t just my story to tell, and I don’t have all of the info and consent to be able to turn it in as a proposal to continue working on it and to get me out of this trip.” He told her, avoiding her eyes.

 

  
Bellamy heard Clarke’s intake of breath, then she said lowly, “What is it?”

 

  
He just looked over at her with a sad apology written all over his face, and her expression dropped, “Bellamy, please just tell me.” she said barely above a whisper.

 

  
Bellamy slowly got up and went into the next room and pulled out the stapled pages that he had printed out earlier and brought them to her, just as he reclaimed his seat on the couch next to her.

 

He just sat with his elbows on his knees with his chin propped up on his hands, waiting for her response as she looked through the pages.

 

 

**Clarke:**

Bellamy was scaring her. Whatever it was that he was working on, it was clear that he was afraid of it, or afraid of what it could do. He handed her a few pages that were neatly typed up and she flipped over the front page that was listed as ‘Untitled’.

 

  
The first few lines were very broad and she wasn’t quite sure what he was so nervous about, until she got to the next paragraph. This was clearly a middle excerpt taken from whatever he was writing, but there it was right before her.

 

  
_‘She was fierce, a force of nature, both beautiful and strong and all consuming. So how did she end up here, at a hotel bar in Boston alone and keeping the lonely bar keep company? And more importantly how did she capture the undivided attention of the usually un-noticing journalist? Her story was a big part of her allure, and after he heard a snip it of it, he was absolutely hooked. She was Athena and he was a goner as soon as he got lost in her Blue eyes...’_

 

  
Clarke dropped the pages on the table in front of her and stood up quickly, which caught his attention,” Clarke, please let me explain before you think the worst.” he said.

 

  
The look in his eyes made her want to believe that he had a good reason to do this. To write about her and her life experience, something so personal that not many people knew about it, and all the while without her knowing.

 

“Then explain.” she said starting to feel the tears burn at the back of her eyes.

 

  
“I started writing this when I was looking for you after Boston. Sometimes just writing about you and your story, then our story together helped me. It helped when I was feeling like giving up, like I would never be able to find you again. I didn’t write anything that you didn’t tell me, I made no assumptions which is why it is nowhere near finished. I need you, this is your story, as well as ours, and there is no way I could ever finish this without you. This could be our project, together.” he pleaded.

 

  
“So, my story, that’s all this is about? You needed me around to finish your little project? Poor widowed Clarke trying to wonder around and find her place in the world, sounds like such a best seller plot.” she said a bit harsher and more sarcastic than she should have, but a part of her, the insecure part, told her that she was being used and she was nothing more than a sad story.

 

  
“Clarke, that’s not what this is about. I love you, and everything that makes you who you are. Your story is one that I think is incredibly unique and under appreciated in any type of art form, especially when there are others out there like you, like us. This is about you, but it’s also about me, about us, our lives together and apart, what led us to one another. You have to believe me.” he said, voice shaking with uncertainty.

 

  
“I just feel used. That night we met, you were instantly interested in ‘my story’ and I didn’t understand what that meant until now. I was a muse for a good piece of journalism. I don’t want my life out for the world to know about. I don’t keep a big company of people, my only social media is Instagram which is private and has only a handful of people on it. I don’t like parading my life or trauma around for sympathy. I can’t be okay with this. There is too much about me and what I’ve gone through that affects so many other people, and including things about Wells is not something that I can even fathom.” she told him, as the flood gates opened.

 

  
“Babe, I understand that. And maybe you aren’t ready for this, but this could be a great way to honor your scars. It’s what I did when I wrote the book about my mom after she died. It’s not just you, this isn’t a pity piece. It’s about both of us, it's about our life.” he said again, trying to get her to understand, but Clarke was beyond the point of being able to see this his way.

 

  
“I can’t.” she resigned.

 

  
“Okay, then I will tell Charles that I'll be going to Thailand.” Bellamy said as he sighed and turned toward the opened window, overlooking the ocean.

 

  
“Is that really how you want to do this? I say no, so I’m sending you to Thailand for 3 months with no contact? Don’t put that on me Bellamy.” she said getting angry, mainly at the situation.

 

  
“What do you want me to tell you Clarke? Charles said get approval on this story or go to Thailand, you said no, I respect that, but that doesn’t change the fact that now I have to go.” he said equally frustrated, and Clarke snapped.

 

  
“Ass.” she said behind tears as she grabbed her sandals and headed out the door and down to the beach.

 


	44. We were never good at saying goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our lovable duo is starting to fall apart. Can they overcome their circumstances? Their differences? Life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There were tears shed during the writing of this chapter.

* * *

**Bellamy:**

  
After the blow up with Clarke, one of their only actual fights, Bellamy felt instant dread. He couldn’t believe that he could think she would be okay with him airing out her entire life, her trauma and all for the to world to see as a compliment.

 

Yeah, he was an ass, and he fucked up. Bellamy ran his fingers through his hair and tugged hard in frustration. He saw the hurt and betrayal in her eyes, but he was only focused on trying to get her to see his side, that he didn’t even consider how this would be for her, having to relive it over and over again.

 

Bellamy turned around and saw that Clarke was pretty far down the beach by now, so he grabbed his hoodie and took off out the backdoor and down the beach after her. He had to make this right. He couldn’t lose her, story be damned.

 

 

**Clarke:**

  
Clarke walked until she felt the tears stop. She felt like she didn’t know Bellamy at all anymore. Did he really love her, or was she just a tool for his inspiration?

 

Insecurities of not being good enough, being damaged and feeling alone came creeping back up. All of the sudden she heard someone running up behind her. When she turned around, she saw a sprinting and out of breath Bellamy.

 

 

**Bellamy:**

  
He reached Clarke and she turned to face him, tear stained cheeks and defeat in her face.

 

He held her face with both of his hands and leaned his forehead onto hers, “Clarke, I am so, so sorry. I know I let you down, but I’m never going to make that mistake again. You helped make me who I am today, and I wanted the world to see what you mean to me. I didn’t think about how bad it would be for you to relive everything that you have worked so hard to get past, and I am an idiot for putting you in an impossible situation. I will go to Thailand, and it will not be your fault. It’s mine for not working on something else when I was working on this story for you. I should have been more prepared, and that’s all on me.”

  
“You make me feel like I’m myself, and I tell so many stories that I never thought that mine was worth sharing until you came into it. Every day with you is an amazing adventure. You say what no one else will say, you know exactly how to get to me and you know exactly what I need. You make me the best version of myself, and I am so sorry if I haven’t done a good job of showing you that.” Bellamy said as he felt a tear fall and mix with hers.

 

Clarke looked up at him, eyes shining from the water and the sun setting off in the distance, “I’m so sorry. I just can’t. I wish I could, but this is not something I can do for you.” she said as she looked back down.

 

  
“Hey,” he said as he tilted her chin back up for her eyes to meet his, “This is not something you need to apologize for. I didn’t think, and I am sorry. Can you forgive me?” he asked her. 

 

  
“Of course, I can. Can you still love me, even though I’m being a coward?” she said embarrassed.

 

  
“Clarke Griffin. You are many things, but a coward is nowhere near one of them. I will always love you.” Bellamy told her as he wrapped her up in his arms.

 

  
Bellamy felt Clarke finally let go. All of the pain, the guilt and the insecurities. She just let it all out in a sob, and he held onto her as tight as he could, to let her know that he wasn’t going anywhere, well not yet technically.

 

It hit him then, that in 2 short months he would have to leave her, leave their happy life with their home and their friends. He felt his own tear fall at the thought of it. He couldn’t bear to think about it too long until he absolutely had to, or he would be a wreck the entire time.

 

  
They walked back to the house in silence, and once they were inside, Clarke just sank into the couch in utter defeat and was trying to keep her tears at bay.

 

Bellamy came and sat next to her and just pulled her into his side and tucked her head under his chin as he just rubbed her shoulder soothingly. “We will be okay. I promise.” he told her, trying to convince both of them.

 

  
“I hate that I’m the reason that you have to leave.” she said sadly.

 

  
“It’s not you, and I refuse to let you feel like it is. It’s only 3 months, we spent almost that much time apart with no contact after we first met before we found each other again.” Bellamy reminded her.

 

  
“Except, now we know how much we will be missing.” she sighed.

 

  
“Hey,” he turned her to look at him, “I promise that we will be fine. It won’t be easy, and it’s really going to suck, but we have 2 months before I have to leave. Let’s make the most of it to help carry us through those 3 months. You’ll be so sick of me soon that you will welcome the break.” He tried smiling to lighten the mood.

 

  
“It hasn’t worked yet. Let’s make a list of everything we want to do before you leave, and we can start right now.” she said looking at him with something new in her face, hope.

 

  
“Right now, I just want to sit here with you and spend as much time wrapped up in you as I can.” Bellamy said as he kissed her temple.

 

  
“That can be arranged.” As Clarke moved them to lay down across the couch together with her head on his chest.

 

 

  
The next day Bellamy told Charles that the story that he had was not an option, and Charles let him know that he would be emailing Bellamy the details for Thailand by the end of the week.

 

Clarke and Bellamy spent the next few days lounging at the beach and just being together in their own little bubble. They both knew that once they got back home the countdown would begin, and neither of them were ready for that to start.

 

  
As soon as they landed back home in Vancouver on Thursday, they both felt the dread. There was no hiding it. They unpacked and went straight to bed, neither of them wanting to talk about it or think about it anymore.

 

 

  
Friday morning, Bellamy broke the news to Nate and Murphy first before notifying the team of a few changes going into effect for the new year.

 

The guys, as expected, were excited for Bellamy, reminding him that this would be huge for his career and a once in a life time opportunity.

 

Bellamy took their advice with a small smile, but then a photo of him and Clarke came across his laptop screen. It was one from his birthday weekend at the beach. She looked as beautiful as ever with a huge smile on her face, as Bellamy turned and kissed her cheek at the last second and her blue eyes were sparkling in happiness. Something inside just slowly started to break.

 

 

_Back at the apartment..._

  
**Clarke:**

  
Clarke couldn’t relax for the entire day, so after work she decided to go to Stanley Park for a jog. The last time she went there alone, she got clarity on moving to Vancouver.

 

It led her to Murphy, which led her to Bellamy, which led her to her home and life that she has now.

 

She put on music to try and drown out her thoughts, she was approaching the beach when she decided to take a break and stare out at the water.

All of the sudden, she felt her phone vibrate with a text,

 

  
**Bellamy**  
 _‘I came home early today. Where did you disappear to?_ ’

 

** Clarke **   
_‘I came to Stanley Park. Needed to clear my head. What are you doing back so early? Is_ _everything okay?’_

 

** Bellamy **   
_‘I just wanted to see and talk to you. I couldn’t focus at work after I read the details of the trip from Charles.’_

 

** Clarke **   
_‘Clarke just sent you her location’_

 

** Bellamy **   
_‘I’ll be there in 15’_

 

 

Clarke knew that this was just as hard on him as it was for her, probably worse even. If he needed her, she would be there for whatever he needed.

 

She still couldn’t help the feeling of guilt, but she couldn’t tell him that. It wasn’t fair to him to have to worry about her when he had other things that were more pressing.

 

  
Bellamy arrived right on time, and just walked in front of her, pulled her up off the bench by her hands and hugged her tight, “I just needed to see my girl.” he whispered in her ear.

 

  
Clarke had to fight the tears that were building behind her eyes, “I’m so happy to see you.” she told him, trying her best to put on a genuine smile.

 

  
He looked down at her like he knew. He knew she went out there to clear her head, to try and run away from the thoughts that were persisting in her mind. He just leaned down and kissed her softly, “I’m here. Please, just be here with me while I’m still here.” he begged.

 

  
Clarke just nodded at him, not trusting her voice at this point. They sat back down, and just silently stared out at the lake with his arm around her shoulder and her head on chest.

 

  
“It was extended. The email from Charles said that they had a few people added to their list of attendees and needs me there longer.” Bellamy said solemnly.

 

  
“How much longer?” Clarke asked hesitantly.

 

  
“Another month, so 4 months total. I called Octavia as soon as I got the email. She said they could move the wedding back a couple of weeks, since it’s at the Gallery.” he said with such sadness in his voice that Clarke wasn’t used to.

 

  
“Damn it.” she said with tears.

 

  
“It’s just becoming too real.” he said staring out in the distance.

 

  
“I’m so sorry.” Clarke said as she put her head in her hands.

  
Bellamy turned and looked at Clarke with defeat, “I’m sorry I didn’t do more to prevent this.”

 

  
Clarke just held his face in her hands and looked at him deeply, “Everything is going to be fine. We will all be fine, and we will make sure Octavia’s wedding is taken care of and perfect. All you need to do is write an amazing story and come back home to us safely.”  
Bellamy nodded slowly and then Clarke just pulled him down for a hug.

 

4 months. 120 days give or take, they could do this. Bellamy has always been there for Clarke when shes’s needed to vent, when she’s fallen apart. It was her turn to be his rock, and she knew he would be miserable if he was always worrying about them. He’s such a mother hen, and now it was Clarke’s turn to make sure he was taken care of.

 

  
“Hey, we are pushing game night to tomorrow night. Why don’t we order from Piazzo’s and have a night in, just the two of us?” Clarke said as she wiped her tears away frantically.

 

“You’re actually the best.” Bellamy said as he blinked back his own tears.

 

  
They stood up and headed back home, taking their time to enjoying the scenery. They picked up a pizza and a pint of gelato on their way back home, then burrowed under blankets and started their latest binge.


	45. Endlessly, for you I’ll always wait.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke’s guilt is the Achilles heel to her happiness.

The next day Bellamy and Clarke slept in, went for brunch and then hit a local fair that was going on downtown.

 

They met up with Monty and Harper as well as Octavia and Lincoln later in the afternoon when an outdoor concert was going on.

 

Bellamy caught them up on his assignment and what he would be doing, as well as how long he would be gone. Hearing it again just gut punched Clarke. She stood up from where they were sitting on blankets and offered to grab the next round of cider for everyone. Harper saw the look on her face and volunteered to help Clarke carry them.

 

Once they were out of ear shot of everyone else, Harper threw her arm around Clarkes shoulder, “How are you doing with all this, babe?” A hint of concern and sympathy in her voice.

 

“I’m not okay, but I have to be for him. He really doesn’t want to do this, and I have to help him be okay with it. If we’re being honest though, it’s killing me.” Clarke told her, looking at her like she would have a magical solution.

 

Harper just hugged her and held on tight, “It will be okay. We will all take care of each other like we always do. What sucks is that he won’t have a way to contact anyone the entire time.”

 

“Yeah, that’s probably the worst part. Not knowing if he’s okay, or how he’s doing. I just don’t want him to end up feeling alone over there.” Clarke tried to say convincingly.

 

“I just wish there was a way he didn’t have to go, he’s going to miss all of the fun wedding preparations. His boss sounds like an ass.” Harper said in passing as they waited in line for cider.

 

Clarke had to tell someone, and she knew Harper would keep it to herself, “There was something that could have kept him here, but it’s my fault that he has to leave.” Clarke told her, trying not to let the tears fall.

 

“Hey, Clarke what’s wrong?” Harper said looking at her with a comforting smile.

 

“He wanted to turn in a story, a story about me and my life. It would have been a big enough project for his boss to find someone else to go instead, but I said no. I couldn’t have everything that’s happened to me out for the world to see, so he has to leave now and miss everything for his only families wedding.” Clarke said, tears flowing freely this time.

 

Harper just hugged her and held her while she cried. “This isn’t your fault. You have every right not to want your story published for everyone to see. This isn’t on you, and he wouldn’t help with the planning anyway and you know it.” She said with a watery laugh.

 

“God, I can’t let them see me like this. I’m a mess right now. I’m going to run to the bathroom really quick before we get our drinks.” Clarke said, as she left Harper in line.

 

A few minutes later, Harper and Clarke rejoined the group, cider in hand. Clarke tried her best to make her eyes less puffy from crying, but you could still tell something was wrong, so she pulled on her sunglasses.

 

Bellamy was nodding along to something Lincoln was saying when he found her hand and gave it a squeeze, looking at her to see if she was okay. Clarke just smiled back and then turned her attention to the stage.

 

They got back to their apartment, letting everyone know they would see them a little later in the evening for game night.

 

As soon as they were inside, Bellamy turned around and looked at Clarke, “You’re not okay.” It wasn’t a question.

 

“What are you talking about, I’m fine.” she said with a small laugh.

 

“Don’t think I don’t know when you’re lying, or when you’re upset. I just need you to talk to me.” He pleaded.

 

“I can’t.” she said as a whisper.

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I need to be strong for you, for both of us. You don’t want to go, Octavia is moving her entire wedding, I feel like I’m going to be missing the other half of me for months with no way of knowing if your okay and it’s my fault you’re in this spot. It fucking sucks, but I have to suck it up and be okay with it!” Clarke said frustrated.

 

“This. Is. Not. Your. Fault. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this.” Bellamy said in resign.

 

“If I said yes, if I gave consent for you to write about me, about everything, would you still have to go?” Clarke asked stubbornly.

 

Bellamy looked away, then looked back at her with the answer in his face.

 

“Then yes, it is my fault. We both know that if I said yes then this all goes away. So, don’t waste your time trying to tell me that it’s not my fault, because it is.” she said defeated

 

“I don’t want you to feel like that. You take on so much, you don’t need this too. I can’t let you carry guilt from me. I promised I would keep you happy and safe.” He said walking towards her.

 

“You do, and you have, but I have to be a big girl on my own. I have to rely on and save myself sometimes. I spent too much time relying on others, and it hurts like hell when they leave.” she said feeling the tears again. Damn, when did she turn into a crier?

 

“I’m not leaving you. I would never leave you. I just have to be gone for a little while, but I will come back to you. Always.” He said with his forehead on hers.

 

“Its not the same. I’m sending you away because I’m scared. Too scared to face my past.” Clarke whispered.

 

“You have faced it and have overcome it. You should not feel bad about not wanting to relive it. You didn’t ask for this. Please, I don’t want to keep fighting about this. It’s done, I have to go, and I’m going to go and do my job then come back to you. I promise.” He promised.

 

“Anything else you want, it’s yours.” she told him, looking into his eyes.

 

“Hey, that’s my line.” He laughed. “I want my beautiful, caring so much her heart is over flowing, happy girl back. That’s who I want to spend every second I can with.”

 

“Deal.” Clarke said as she leaned up to kiss him.

 

It’s was soft, gentle and drawn out. Then it turned deep as they started trying to convey how much they loved the other one, how much pain they were feeling with their impending separation.

Clarke’s hands found the base of Bellamy’s neck where his hair curled, and he let out a satisfied moan, then it turned frantic from there.

 

He lifted her up and carried her into his room. As soon as Clarke was laying on his bed with him towering over her it turned very soft, loving, and purposeful.

 

Every move they made was all about communicating how much they loved the other. Every kiss, every caress, every word.

 

 

They were laying there in the afterglow, her head on Bellamy’s bare chest, when a tear escaped her eye. He leaned over to wipe it away, “Hey, none of that.” He whispered.

 

“Happy tears, I promise.” Clarke told him.

 

“Good. You can really emasculate a guy by crying afterward sex, you know.” He chuckled lightly as he continues drawing patterns on her bare arm.

 

“We wouldn’t want that, now would we?” she laughed.

 

“No we wouldn’t, especially because I want to be with you, like this, as much as I can before I go. I don’t want a chance in hell to forget how you feel in every way.” He said as he leaned back in to kiss her.

 

“Mm… we might need to get up if we are going to make it to game night.” Clarke said, with no attempt to get up.

 

“As long as you promise we can be right back here in a few hours.” Bellamy said as he kissed her shoulder.

 

“Back here at the apartment, or in this position?” She asked with a bit of tease in her voice.

 

“Oh, I can think of a few other positions I would like to be in.” He said in right below her ear.

 

“Geez, we have to get up, like now.” Clarke said standing up and grabbing her clothes to get dressed.

 

“What? Can’t handle it?” Bellamy asked sitting up, leaning against the headboard, the sheet hanging very low and a devilish smirk on his face.

 

“You know better than to play this game with me. Might want to quit while you’re ahead if you know what’s good for you.” Clarke said with a wink.

 

 

 

They made it 2 hours at game night, with too many shots to remember before they were stumbling back into their apartment after Murphy and Emori drove them back. “Make sure you two don’t die in your sleep. We will be back in the morning to check and see if you’re still alive.” Murphy joked.

 

Clarke laughed and locked the door to see Bellamy all tangled in his T-shirt, trying to get it off. Clarke walked over to help him, and when his head reappeared, he had the biggest smile on his face, “I love you.” He said with a happy sigh.

 

“Ha-ha I love you too silly. C’mon, bed time.” Clarke said trying to herd him towards the bed.

 

“No, we had sex in my bed already, it’s time for your bed.” He said giggling.

 

“Presumptuous, aren’t we?” She laughed back.

 

“Oh, please. I’ve seen you undressing me with your eyes all night. With every shot you took, you removed another article of my clothing.” He laughed as he fell back on her bed with his legs hanging off.

 

“Can you blame me? Have you seen you? I’m only human.” She said as she straddled his lap.

 

Bellamy slowly sat up and locked his hands behind her back to hold her in place, “I’d rather see you. I’m thinking of telling Charles that I work better naked, so I need to work from home from now on.” He said as he started kissing down her neck.

 

“That’s a plan I can support.” She said as she pushed him down on the bed and began unbuckling his belt. Then she stripped her top off as Bellamy scooted back towards the headboard. She joined him shortly after discarding the rest of her clothes.

 

Clarke took her place back in his lap, and she just held his face, looking into his chocolate brown eyes, “I promise to make every day with you as amazing as I possibly can. I promise to make it up to you every day after you get back home. And more importantly, I promise to be someone who is worth your love.”

 

“You already are, and have been since I met you at a hotel bar in Boston. Nothing will ever change that.” Bellamy said as he kissed her slowly.

 

 

 

_The next morning…_

**Bellamy:**

 

Bellamy woke up to the sound of rain hitting the window in Clarke’s room. She was sleeping with her head on his chest, and her arm and leg thrown over his and he just smiled. Looking down at her like this was the most peaceful he got to see her.

 

She carries the weight of the world on her shoulders, her past, her guilt, and her survival. Bellamy just want to be her remedy from all of those things that plague her.

 

Trauma, anxiety, depression. Those are all very real things, and she is one of the strongest people he has ever known. He wanted her to know that she didn’t have to hide from those things.

 

Society would like to shame or ignore these types of emotions, but Bellamy would make it his personal mission in life to make her always feel safe, welcomed and accepted.

 

He kissed the top of her head, and leaned his onto hers and let the sound of the rain lull him back to sleep.

 

When he woke up again, it was someone gently shaking his shoulder, “Morning sunshine. Coffee and doughnuts are in the kitchen. Get decent and start the hangover cure.” Emori said sweetly.

 

“Thank you. I’ll be out in a minute.” Bellamy told her as she shut the door behind her.

 

He leaned over to Clarke, “Morning beautiful. Emori and Murphy have coffee and doughnuts.” he whispered lightly in her ear.

 

“Can we stay in bed the rest of the day?” She mumbled.

 

“After breakfast and a shower, of course we can. It’s a rainy Sunday morning, so it’s basically law that we stay in bed for the day.” Bellamy said as he kissed her on the cheek and got up to throw some clothes on.

 

He headed into the kitchen as Clarke got up and dressed, “Thanks for breakfast, and getting us home last night.” Bellamy said as he joined Murphy and Emori at the kitchen counter.

 

“Of course. We all know that the last week has been hard on the two of you with everything going on. How are two doing with it?” Murphy asked, referring to Thailand.

 

“About as good as we can. I’m not looking forward to leaving her, or anyone of you without anyway to contact you, but I’m more worried about her beating herself up about it the whole time I’m gone.” Bellamy told him honestly.

 

“We will take good care of her for you, and Murphy is right next door if she needs anything.” Emori said squeezing his shoulder in reassurance.

 

“We all pretty much set up a feeding and walking schedule for her.” Murphy snorted into his coffee.

 

“She’s self-sufficient, but I appreciate the sentiment.” Bellamy said sarcastically as Clarke came out to join them.

 

“You guys are a life saver.” She said as she grabbed her coffee. “Thanks for getting us home last night.”

 

“We had too, Nate kept complaining that ‘Mom and Dad are giving each other sex eyes again!’ We did it for the well-being of the group.” Emori joked.

 

“Oh my God! That wasn’t a dream?!” Clarke said in shock.

 

“Afraid not. At least you two kept it in your pants until you were behind closed doors, to which we are grateful.” Murphy laughed.

 

Clarke put her head on the counter and groaned, “I am so, so sorry.”

 

“Hey, if making intense eye contact can get us a free pass to go home early, I’ll make a note of it for future use.” Bellamy said winking at Clarke.

 

“And with that, we will leave you two to it.” Emori said as she laughed and pulled Murphy with her out the door.

 

“Can we go back to bed now?” Clarke said with excitement in her eyes.

 

“Shower first, then bed. We both know how much better we will feel afterwards.” Bellamy told her as he finished his coffee.

 

He went to put his mug in the sink, and when he turned around Clarke was standing there completely naked and he audibly gulp.

 

“These clothes need washed, so I figured I’d get a head start.” She said with a wicked grin.

 

“Two can play the game.” As Bellamy stripped off his shirt and dropped his shorts on the floor. “Your shower or mine?”

 

“Yours is bigger.” She said out of breath.

 

“You were talking about my shower, right?” He joked as she swatted at him, and he just picked her up and threw her over his shoulder and headed for his bathroom.

 

 

 

They spent the rest of the day in bed together, reading, her sketching or just drifting in and out of sleep. After Bellamy finished another chapter of Nate’s newest release, he caught her attention, “Hey, I need you to promise me something.”

 

“Anything, you know that.” she said, continuing to focus on the sketch pad in her hands.

 

“I want you to continue keeping busy and going on with your life as normal while I'm gone. Go to dance class, kickboxing, shopping and brunch with the girls, game night and going out to karaoke with the group on the weekends. I know you, and if you sit too long and think about it, it will make time drag and you will start letting guilt eat you away. Promise me that you will take care of yourself and not stew in this sucky situation.” Bellamy said as she turned to look at him.

 

“I promise to keep my normal routine as much as possible, and I promise to pretend like I don’t know that all of our friends haven’t set up a schedule to keep me occupied during the times we are usually together. But I can’t promise that I won’t sit here and think about you, and be sad that you aren’t here. That’s like asking me to not love you while you’re gone. I’m going to miss you, I am going to be pissed about the sucky situation, but I promise not to sit on it too long. I’ll go beat a bag with Nate, or go for a run or something.” she said honestly.

 

“I think the time will pass for you pretty fast. You do an excellent job of keeping busy. I’ll be back and we will be living it up at Octavia’s and Lincoln’s wedding before we know it.” He told her with a gentle kiss to her hand. “What are you working on?” Bellamy asked as he peered over to look at her book.

 

He was stunned as what he saw. Bellamy had seen some of her landscape sketches, but this was something entirely different. “I wanted something to remember these moments.” Clarke said as she turned the book more fully towards him.

 

It was Bellamy, his profile, laying in her bed with his glasses perched on his nose, reading a book. It was incredibly realistic, “Clarke, this is Amazing! I had no idea you could do portraits.” he said in awe.

 

“I didn’t think so either, this is my first one. I just wanted something a little more tangible to hold onto.” she said as she went back finishing up the sketch.

 

“So, it would seem that I'm your muse too.” Bellamy joked as he laid back down to read again, not posing at all.

 

“I guess you are. Not that I’m surprised. I’m shock Lincoln hasn’t used you for modeling or something for his art pieces.” she said with a shrug.

 

“Might be kind of awkward since we are practically related.” Bellamy said with a laugh.

 

 

They both continued their relaxing Sunday, and then went about their weeks as per usual.

 

 

The only changes were that Bellamy would make it a point to leave the office earlier in the day, since the holidays were coming up and he didn’t have any new projects to prep for since he would be in Thailand the first part of the year.

 

Clarke and Bellamy would get more time together to go hiking, or he would join her for kickboxing classes, to which Nate and Harper were excited for so they could all pair up, and on the weekends, they would enjoy the fall festivals that took place.

 

They still went out with their friends on the weekends and spent alone time on Sundays to relax and prepare for the coming weeks.


	46. I’ll be home for Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke decides how her and Bellamy will spend their first Christmas. Taking another step forward.

The Christmas season came up quickly, and Clarke was a bit obsessed with the holiday.

 

Their entire apartment was decked out in lights and greenery, she always had a Christmas station playing in the apartment while she was working or they were cooking, and her and Bellamy would watch a different Christmas movie each night.

 

They decided to do their friend Christmas the weekend before since Nate and Jackson were going to see Nate’s parents in California, Murphy was going to meet Emori’s family, Harper and Monty would be with their families and Octavia and Lincoln would be visiting his parents.

 

  
Clarke and Bellamy would be hosting, since everyone knew how much she went out for this holiday. They had gotten a tree together and put out all kinds of decorations out, she was baking cookies, and they had the entire island set up with gingerbread house supplies, so each couple could build and decorate their own house for everyone to vote on. They also did a Secret Santa drawing for the group.

 

After everyone had eaten, decorated the gingerbread houses, played a few Christmas games and exchanged gifts, Clarke and Bellamy were exhausted. The apartment was clean and calm again with just the two of them.

 

  
They had the fireplace going, the only other light besides the ones illuminating the tree. They were curled up on the couch with a large soft blanket that Octavia had gotten for Clarke  in secret Santa and they were enjoying the warmth when Clarke remembered, “So, I know we said we would do gifts on Christmas, but I have something I need to give you before then.” She said as she got up and went into her room.

 

When she returned, she had a shy smile on her face as she handed Bellamy an envelope and sat back on the couch with him.  
“What’s this?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

  
“It’s obviously a sweater stuffed in there, duh.” she said sarcastically.

 

  
Bellamy opened the simple white envelope and read over the information, “Two tickets to Texas?” he said in awe.

 

  
“Yeah, I thought since everyone here was going to be off with their families, that maybe you would want to come with me to see mine for Christmas weekend?” she said with a hopeful smile.

 

  
Bellamy just looked at her in shock, then he pulled her into his lap and kissed her sweetly, “Of course, I would love to join you. Christmas in Texas, who would’ve thought?” he said, still surprised by the gesture.

 

“If you think I love Christmas, wait until you see Mom and Raven.” She laughed. “We leave the day before Christmas Eve, and we get back the day after Christmas.” she said, and Bellamy could see the excitement in her eyes.

 

  
This was a huge step for her, and for them. The last time it was mentioned about Bellamy going home to visit with her, she panicked and didn’t want to go home and relive her past.

 

Now, Clarke wanted him to not only go with her back home, but spend this important holiday with her and her family. Bellamy was beyond words with this gift that she had given him.

 

  
“You will need to help me find something for your Mom and Raven, since I am crashing your family holiday.” He told her as he pulled her against his chest.

 

  
“They have been begging me to bring you, and they have been dying for me to finally tell you. We are all excited to welcome you to a true Griffin Christmas.” she told him as they talked about preparations for their upcoming holiday trip.

 

 

_Three days later..._

  
**Clarke:**

Bellamy and Clarke were in the crazy busy airport in Vancouver, her fault for trying to travel the day before Christmas Eve. Bellamy was adorable asking her what to pack, he literally thought he needed to buy boots and a cowboy hat, and she couldn’t help but make fun of him for the stereotype he had stuck in his head. “Have you ever seen me wear either of those things?!” she teased him.

 

  
They boarded their flight, and when they landed, he was surprised to find that it was just as chilly there as it was when they left Vancouver. “It does get chilly here sometimes.” Clarke laughed as they went to collect their bags.

 

  
“I thought Texas was always warm.” He said, looking at his weather app.

 

  
“Even the south gets cold sometimes this time of year, maybe even a few flurries if we’re lucky.” she said with a wink.

 

  
They walked out of the airport to see Raven in her Big Black Truck, “Get in losers, we’re going shopping!” she yelled out, quoting one of their favorite movies.

 

  
Once they got in the truck, Bellamy said, “Nice tank, is this thing even street legal?” he joked.

 

  
“Psh, this isn’t even that big of a truck. We see way bigger ones at the shop on a daily basis.” Raven informed him.

 

  
“So, shopping the day before Christmas Eve? Do we have a death wish?” Clarke joked.

 

  
“Says the person that decided to fly the day before Christmas Eve.” Raven joked back. “So, what’s new? Tell me everything.”

 

  
“It’s a long story.” Bellamy said.

 

  
“It’s a long drive sunshine.” Raven laughed.

 

  
“I’m going to Thailand next month for work, will be gone for about 4 months, then my sister is getting married after that. That’s about all the news I have.” Bellamy told her.

 

  
“Geez, that sounds awesome! I might just let Wick run things for a while, so I can see the world.” Raven said.

 

  
“Speaking of Wick,” Clarke said, effectively changing the subject, “How is he? Will he be joining us this weekend?” she asked, laughing as the blush creeping up Raven’s face.

 

  
“Shut it. And yes he will, so don’t make me hurt you. He wants us to go out tonight with some friends before everyone separates for the holidays if ya’ll are up for it.” Raven asked.

 

“I am if you are babe.” Bellamy said from the back seat.

 

  
“Sounds good. Silver Star?” Clarke asked Raven, who shook her head yes. “Ready to learn how to two-step cowboy?” Clarke said looking at Bellamy.

 

  
“Ha. Ha. It’s not my fault that I have never been to Texas, to be honest it doesn’t even look like we are in Texas, everything here is building skylines and highways.” He stated looking out the window as they drove.

 

  
“Everything is bigger in Texas my friend.” Raven said with a proud smile.

 

 

They stopped at a shopping mall so they could finish up their shopping. When they got back in the truck, Bellamy observed, “Does literally everyone here own a massive truck or SUV? How can you even find your own car in these parking lots?”

 

“That’s what clickers are for.” Raven brushed off as they continued their way out of town. They lived a little over an hour outside of downtown. A lot more suburbia, as well as large pieces of land and fields and ranches.

 

  
The further they drove, the more Bellamy was taken by the scenery, “You know, it’s a lot of work to drive all this way to kill me.” he joked.

 

  
“Please, I wouldn’t put that much effort into it.“ Raven laughed.

 

  
“We are almost there, might want to let Octavia know we made it, since cell service tends to be spotty out here.” Clarke warned him.

 

  
“Ahh, good practice.” he said under his breath.

 

Clarke had a plan to show him the rest of her life, maybe then he would understand more fully why she said no. She didn’t want to hide anything from him, and she wanted him to see who she used to be, where she came from.

 

  
They arrived at Abby’s house. It’s was on a secluded road, surrounded by open cow pastures, and she has a massively long driveway that cutes the large flat land in half to get to the house near the back of the property.

 

As soon as they pulled up, Abby’s sweet lab Harley came running up to greet them. Clarke hopped out of the truck and bent down to pet him, “Hi stranger. I missed you! I brought a friend, so be nice.” she told the yellow lab.

 

  
Bellamy got out of the truck and took a look around. They were surrounded by nothing but open fields and rolling hills, with ‘Mountains’ in the distance.

 

They grabbed their bags out of the backseat, just as Abby came around the corner in rain boots and a basket in her hand, “You guys are here! Come on in, I need to get these eggs inside and cleaned up.” she said as she headed for the front door, leaving it open for them.

 

  
“Mom has chickens around back.” Clarke said by way of explaining. “I kept trying to get a couple of miniature goats, but was always told no.” she laughed.

 

  
They grabbed their  luggage and headed into the house. The fireplace was going on low, the kitchen radio had a Christmas station on, there was a tall tree in the main living area, and everything was decorated floor to ceiling in Christmas, just like Clarke expected.

 

As soon as they set their bags down in the living room and looked around, they were interrupted by Harley sitting on the floor by the fireplace, growling at Bellamy.

 

  
“Hey, I told you to be nice.” Clarke snapped her fingers at him, and he laid down and settled down. “Sorry, he’s not used to strangers, or men for the most part. He’s harmless and as long as he thinks you’re a friend, he won’t bother you.” she told Bellamy.

 

  
“It’s nice that you have a guard dog all the way out here.” Bellamy said as they walked towards the open kitchen and dining area, “You weren’t kidding about you all being obsessed with Christmas.” he noted, looking around at everything in the house.

 

  
“We don’t kid about Christmas. Okay, I’m clean now. Give me a hug!” Abby said as she reached them. “How was your flight and the drive?” she asked.

 

  
“It was great, and the drive was beautiful. I’ve never been to Texas, but so far I love it.” Bellamy said with a smile.

 

  
“It is a very unique place for sure. Well, if you want to put your bags away in Clarke’s room and get cleaned up, Soup is simmering here on the stove whenever ya’ll are ready. Maybe you girls can give Bellamy the tour, show him where everything is. Anything here is yours to use or eat, ask the girls.” Abby said with a smile.

 

  
“Woah, Clarke’s room? Boys are allowed to have sleepovers now?” Raven said laughing.

 

  
“They live together Raven, let’s not pretend that they sleep in separate bedrooms. Plus, you have your room and the guest room is full from the loft renovations.” Abby laughed.

 

  
Clarke blinked in surprise, and showed Bellamy to her old room. They walked in and it was just a queen bed in the center, a small pre-lite tree in the corner on a small nightstand, and a dresser, with a tv on top.

 

Thankfully, Abby had turned their bedrooms into more neutral guest rooms, and they weren’t still decked out from their teen years.  
“Even the bed spreads are Christmas themed.” Bellamy said with a chuckle.

 

  
“Yes, all the beds are from Thanksgiving to New Year’s.” Clarke said as she put her bag in the corner and took off her boots and scarf, now she was just in an oversized sweater and leggings with a pair of mismatched fuzzy socks. “Now, for the grand tour.” she said with arms stretched out.

 

  
“The door behind the door we came in, is a closet, the door over her on the right is the adjoining bathroom, in here you can find towels and everything else you need, the door through here on the other side of the double sinks is Raven’s room.”

 

“Our parents thought it was clever that both of our rooms opened up to the same large bathroom so we could share. The room across from Raven’s is the Master Suite. Back out in the dining room where there is a French door is the office. The stairs next to it is the loft, which used to be a playroom/study room for us growing up, but she’s changing it to a craft and media room now, I think. Through the kitchen is the laundry room and another bathroom with a shower that we use for after swimming or working in the yard.” Clarke told him as thy visited each room.

 

  
Then they went out the back door, “The garden is off to the right over there in the fenced area, the pool is here, but covered for winter, and here to the left is the massive chicken coop area” She pointed out.

 

  
“Wow, this place is massive. I saw the fruit trees out front, I bet it’s beautiful in the spring and summer time.” he said.

 

  
“Yeah, if you don’t die from the heat.” Clarke half joked.

 

  
Back inside, they all sat at the dining room table and had dinner. “So, what are your plans while you are here?” Abby asked.

 

  
“I think we are going out with Raven and Wick tonight, then the usual Christmas Eve tomorrow, then Christmas day. We leave Saturday evening, so we might get a little sightseeing in before we have to go.” Clarke explained.

 

  
“Sounds like a full weekend. Well, make sure one of you have the house key, so I don’t have to wait up for you tonight. I was up earlier today visiting, uh, family.” Abby stopped.

 

  
Clarke missed last year, but she knew her Mom and Raven went to their Dad’s grave this morning, and they probably also stopped by Wells’. Clarke knew they did it for her last year, and they probably went ahead and went today so they wouldn’t have to worry about it when Bellamy was there and Abby was hosting.

 

“I’ll go before I leave. I promise.” Clarke said with a small smile, that Abby returned.

 

 

 

After dinner, Clarke, Bellamy and Raven decided to change and get ready to go out. “What should I wear?” Bellamy asked, looking at his open suite case on the bed.

 

  
“Here,” Clarke said, tossing him jeans and a plaid red and black button up. “It’s a country bar with pool tables. Nothing crazy, I promise.” She told him as she went into Raven’s room to look for something.

 

“Hey, are my boots still in here?” Clarke asked, looking in the bottom of the closet.

 

“Should be. Are we dressing for the weather and season, or are we dressing like we are going to Silver Star?” Raven asked with a devious smile.

 

  
“Hmm, I’m not really feeling in the Christmas mood, are you?” Clarke said with a wink.

 

  
“Not at all.” Raven laughed as she pulled a bucket out from under her bed. It was the clothes they used to wear when they would sneak out to meet their friends when they were younger, “Moms already asleep, so we won’t get lectured.” Raven said as she tossed Clarke a pair of short cut offs, and a navy and Red plaid button down. Raven had light colored denim cut offs and a white and black plaid shirt.

 

  
Clarke put on the shorts, and left her long sleeve white shirt on, as she slide the plaid shirt over it, leaving it completely unbuttoned and slid her tan cowboy boots on.

 

She walked back into her room while Raven finished getting dress, and Bellamy had his back to her when she came in, “Is it cold enough to need a coat?” he asked absently.

 

  
“I think we will be okay. Its inside, and the truck has heated seats.” Clarke said as he turned around and took in her outfit fully.

 

  
“Shit.” he said in a whispered tone. “You cannot dress like that! We are in your mother's house, and I cannot have my way with you here!” he yell whispered.

 

  
“You just have to be very, very quiet. The doors have locks, and everyone in this house sleeps with a fan on for white noise.” Clarke said wiggling her eyebrows.

 

  
“You are going to be the death of me.” He said pulling her into his chest and kissing her deeply.

 

  
“Hey you two keep it in your pants until later.” Raven said barging into their room. “Let’s go!”

 

“See?” Bellamy said as he grabbed Clarke’s hand as they headed out the door.

  
“I told you, the doors lock.” she laughed.

 

 

 

They pulled up to the Bar and as soon as they walked inside, someone yelled out “Trouble has come back into town! It’s those Griffin Girl’s!”

  
Wick came running up to Clarke and picked her up and spun her around. “Hey there twister, causing any problems for our neighbors to the north yet?” he said as he put her down.

 

  
“I haven’t been kicked out of the country yet, so I think that’s a win.” she said staring up at him with a bright smile.

 

  
Wick was tall, had shaggy dirty blonde hair that was styled in what Raven called ‘Frat Boy Hair’ and he had a matching goatee.

 

  
“Wick, this is my Boyfriend Bellamy. Bellamy, this is Kyle Wick. Family Friend, pretty much older brother and Raven’s long time crush.” Clarke said as she dodged Raven’s left hook to the arm.

 

“It’s nice to meet you man. Any guy who can tame either of these girls, is a good man in my book.” Wick said, shaking Bellamy’s hand.

 

  
“Ha, I know what you mean. Nice to meet you too.”

 

  
Clarke and Raven just rolled their eyes and walked over to the pool table Wick and a few other people from their Dad’s shop was, watching a game that was currently in progress while the guys headed to the bar for drinks.

 

 

_At the bar..._

  
**Bellamy:**

  
Bellamy was loving the trip to Texas so far. He was standing at the bar with Wick, waiting to get drinks for them and the girls, “So, how long have you known the Griffins?” Bellamy asked him.

 

  
“Let’s see, I started working for Jake, their dad, about 5 years before he passed, and that was 4 years ago. So, 9 years I guess. When did you and Clarke meet?” Wick asked him.

 

  
“We met 9 months ago in Boston. I just met her mother and Raven in October.” Bellamy explained.

 

  
“Man, the way Raven talks about you and Clarke, I thought it was longer than 9 months. That’s awesome man. She deserves the best. What happened to her and the family was a really shitty time. Seeing her look carefree and smiling like that,” he said as he pointed to where Clarke and Raven were racking up a game of pool, “I haven’t seen that look in a long time. You have to be doing something right.” He finished with a clasp to Bellamy’s shoulder as they picked up the drinks, and headed towards the girls.

 

  
Bellamy dropped a martini on the table near Clarke, and she looked up at him and smiled while placing a kiss on his cheek, “Thank you! We are playing teams. Us vs them.” she said very competitively.

 

  
“Well in that case, let’s kiss some ass.” Bellamy said as she high fives him in excitement.

 

After a few rounds of pool, Clarke took Bellamy out on the dance floor and showed him a few easy steps that took a normal two-step to a country two-step.

 

They were having a blast, and he just wished he could freeze this moment with how carefree Clarke was. He wanted to save it and look at it every day that I had to be gone.

 

  
They had danced themselves to exhaustion, and decided to head back to the house.

 

Once they were changed and in bed, Clarke leaned over and kissed him. “Thank you for coming out tonight, I had a lot of fun. I haven’t been there in almost 2 years.” she told Bellamy as she was already drifting off to sleep.

 

  
“I would go anywhere with you. Thank you for inviting me to come here with you.” he told her as he kissed the top of her head, then sleep over came both of them.


	47. Merry Christmas Darling.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy gets to know Clarke in a whole new way, and celebrate Christmas together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m a sucker for Christmas any time of year. I was so excited to write Clarke finally letting Bellamy in on her former life.

_The next morning, Christmas Eve..._

  
**Clarke:**

  
Clarke woke up a little earlier than she would have liked, but being back home just brought that out. She decided to shower and change into some warmer clothes, since it was cloudy and a bit chilly out that morning.

 

She thought about waking Bellamy up, but she wasn’t sure how he would feel about where she was going, and she didn’t want to put him in an awkward position. Clarke snuck out of the bedroom and front door.

 

She was walking towards Raven’s truck when a voice startled her, “Where are you sneaking off to so early?” Abby said, sitting on the front porch, bundled up with a steaming cup of coffee in her hand.

 

  
“I was going to go see Daddy and Wells this morning. The other two are out for the count, and I couldn’t sleep.” Clarke explained.

 

  
“You didn’t want to take Bellamy?” Abby asked.

 

  
“It’s not that I don’t want to take him, it’s just we haven’t talked about it and I don’t want to put him in a weird spot to feel like he has to go because I asked. I figured I should do this alone anyway.” Clarke told her.

 

  
“Okay, I’ll start on breakfast as soon as the other two wake up. If you aren’t back, what should I tell him?”

 

  
“Tell him the truth. I’m okay if he knows where I am, I just didn’t want him to feel pressured to come with me.” and with that, Clarke hopped in the truck, cranked the heater, and headed for the cemetery.

 

 

 

“Hey Dad.” Clarke said as she placed the poinsettias next to the wreath Abby put the day before. “I know I haven’t been home in a while, but I’m here now. I brought someone with me too, I think you would’ve liked him. Mom and Raven sure do. I’m scared that when things are too perfect that something will happen to him too. Well, it kind of did already.”

 

”We have been so happy and everything was going along smoothly, but then he was told he had to go across the world for four months without a way to contact any of us, and I’m scared. I could have stopped it, but I was a coward. Sorry to come here and dump my problems on you. Mom, Raven and I still look out for each other like we promised. I miss you daddy.” she said as a single tear fell down her face. Then, she felt someone standing behind her.

 

   
Clarke turned around to see Bellamy standing a few feet away, just watching her in silence.

 

Once she smiled back at him and reached her hand out, he came up next to her and held onto her hand. “Hey, what are you doing here?” Clarke asked surprised, but happy.

 

  
“Your mom told me where you were when I woke up to an empty bed. I would have loved to come here with you. She drove me over here on her way to the grocery store.” Bellamy said as he leaned his forehead onto hers.

 

  
“I didn’t want to put any pressure on you. “ Clarke told him.

 

“You’ve been with Octavia and I to see our mom, of course I would love to come here with you too. It’s a part of who you are.” He said as he looked over the headstone of her father.

 

  
“My dad. Jake Griffin. Mechanical Engineer, then he retired to buy a farm in the middle of nowhere and open up a full-service mechanical and auto shop in town. Married for 34 years, 2 spit fire daughters that absolutely take after him and a town legend.” Clarke said by way of introduction.

 

  
Bellamy knelt down next to her, “It’s nice to be here sir. I wish we could’ve met, but I love your daughter very much and have been doing my best to take care of her and make her happy. You raised one hell of a woman, and I know you would be proud of who she is today. So, thank you.”

 

  
Clarke couldn’t stop the tears at that point, “See Dad, now you know why Mom and Raven love him so much.” she said with a watery laugh.

 

  
They sat there together for a few minutes in silence, as Bellamy held onto Clarke. When they stood up and said their goodbyes, Clarke looked up at Bellamy, “I have one more I need to see.” she told him.

 

  
“I’ll wait for you by the tree if you want.” he said. Clarke nodded and Bellamy gave her a hug as she walked over to Wells’ grave next.

 

  
“Hi honey, Merry Christmas.” she said with tears pouring down her face as she set a bundle of poinsettias next to his wreath as well.

 

“God, I never thought I would have to do this, but I wanted you to know. I found a new home. Vancouver actually, and I met some amazing people. They have really helped me continue on with life like you wanted me to do. I have someone too. Someone who loves me, even after knowing everything, takes care of me, does nothing to erase who I was, but who helps me remember who I am and where I came from. I think you two could have been friends in another life. I just wanted to tell you that I took what you said me to heart, and I try to live every single day to the fullest. I will always love you, and I’m learning that I have enough love for someone else too.” She finished and then turned to start walking towards the truck.

 

 

 

_Standing by a Tree..._

  
**Bellamy:**

  
Bellamy watched Clarke at her former husband’s grave. It broke his heart to see her crying and not be next to her to comfort her, but he wanted to give her the space she needed.

 

He saw her finish and start walking to the truck in the opposite direction. As he went to follow her, he stopped in front of the grave, “I promise I’ll take care of her.” he whispered to it as he followed Clarke to catch up with her.

 

  
Once he got to the truck, he turned Clarke around to face him so He could just hold on to her. She just let out all of the emotion that she was holding in before. Bellamy just stood there and held her, rubbing her back soothingly, telling her he was sorry, and that he was there with her in her ear.

 

  
“Thank you for being here.” She said as Bellamy wiped her tears away.

 

  
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else.” Bellamy told her as he kissed her forehead.

 

  
Bellamy drove them back to her Mom’s house, where they all sat around with hot chocolate, cookies and watched Christmas movies.

 

 

 

  
The next morning was Christmas. Clarke and Raven were up super early, cooking a huge breakfast and they all exchanged gifts. Clarke got a new sketch book and pencils from her Mom, so many clothes from her sister, and then Bellamy reached under the tree and grabbed a small, long box for her. “What is this?” She asked in surprise.

 

“Open it silly.” Bellamy told her.

 

  
It was a charm bracelet with things he knew Clarke would get. There was a Red Sox charm to represent Boston, a small Hollywood sign for their time in LA, the state of Texas to show where she came from, a pencil for her sketching, a book to represent Bellamy, a whisk for her baking, a high heel for dancing and a seashell to represent her love of the beach. The last one was a little Elephant, “It’s for Thailand.” Bellamy explained.

 

  
She looked up at him with the biggest smile and then leaned forward and hugged him. “Thank you, I love it.” then she kissed him quickly. “Okay, your turn.”

 

  
Bellamy opened a pair of boots from Abby and Raven, “Now you are a true cowboy.” they joked.

 

Then, there was a beautiful leather bound note book with the inscription, “Near or Far, Forever and Always, I Love you. Clarke”

 

  
“This is truly amazing. I promise to fill it with amazing things for you while I ‘m gone.” Bellamy told her.

 

  
They all had a big breakfast, watched some more Christmas movies, then started a marathon of board games, which he learned was a Griffin family tradition. Wick joined just in time, as things started getting competitive. It was a very relaxing and fun way to end their trip there.

 

  
The next morning, Bellamy made a cup of coffee and enjoyed it out on the front porch. Abby joined him shortly after, “I love sitting out here in the mornings. It’s my favorite part of the day.” She told him.

 

  
“I can see why. It’s a beautiful piece of land you have here. I could sit here and write all day with this view.”

 

  
“You are more than welcome here anytime Bellamy. So, when do you have to leave for Thailand?” she asked.

 

  
“January 15th. So I have about 3 more weeks to get ready.” he said, it really hitting him how close it had gotten.

 

  
“Well, I hope you have an amazing experience. Clarke will be okay, you know that. I just want you to focus on taking care of yourself and enjoy it.” She said with a smile.

 

  
“I’ll miss her more than I can ever tell her. She’s changed everything and taken my heart completely. I love that girl.” Bellamy said with a smile.

 

  
“I’m so glad you two have each other. You can make it through this, and I have no doubt that you can make it through anything else. I know you’re not asking, but my blessing is always there if you ever want or need it.” Abby said as she reached over to squeeze his hand.

 

  
Bellamy was taken aback in shock, and it must’ve shown on his face, “You two haven’t had that conversation yet, have you?” She asked.

 

  
“Uhm, no we haven’t. I would marry her today if she would have me, but given her previous relationship was a marriage that ended tragically, I never felt comfortable bringing it up to her. I didn’t want to open any wounds.” Bellamy told her honestly.

 

  
“You two obviously love each other, that’s no secret. If it’s something you want, it wouldn’t hurt to broach the topic with her to see if that is something she would ever want to do again.” Abby said like it was the most common thing in the world.

 

  
Just then the door opened up, and Clarke and Raven came outside with their own mug of coffee, so all conversation about future marriage ceased.

 

“Good morning you two. I have cinnamon rolls in the oven, they should be done any minute.” Abby said as excused herself back inside.

 

  
“Weird. What was that about?” Raven said looking at the now, shut front door.

 

  
“She didn’t want to burn breakfast?” Bellamy offered up.

 

  
“Good enough answer for me this early.” Clarke said with her eyes closed.

 

 

 

They had finished their coffee, had breakfast then got dressed for the day and packed up all of their stuff. Clarke asked if Bellamy wanted to see anything else while they were there, and Raven offered to take them to her house that Clarke had sold to her earlier in the year when Clarke left last.

 

  
They all took the drive to Clarke’s former home, and as soon as they pulled up, Bellamy could see it had Clarke written all over it.

 

Clean lines, large front porch with a swinging bench, and once they were inside everything had clean colors, built in organization shelves, and felt new but still homey.

 

Bellamy was walking down a hallway when he saw it, Clarke’s wedding picture. She was beautiful in white. She had that genuine Clarke smile on her face, and the man next to her was holding onto her tight with an equally bright smile, squishing their faces together while they were laughing.

 

  
Bellamy had heard a little bit about Wells, but this was the first time ever seeing him. Seeing him and Clarke together in their wedding attire made things very real. Clarke has been married before and has lost her husband, yet here she was with him, trusting him with her heart and he wondered if he could ever make her as happy as she once was in this photo.

 

  
“Our photographer was awful. Thankfully we had enough friends taking pictures that we ended up with a few decent ones.” A voice behind him came.

 

  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stare. You just look so beautiful and happy here.” Bellamy told her.

 

  
“I was, but I’m even happier now with you.” Clarke said as she came up and wrapped her arms around his waist. “You aren’t changing you mind about me now that you’ve seen everything now, are you?” She asked only half joking.

 

  
“Never. I’m so thankful that you brought me here. I have even more of an appreciation for you because of it.” Bellamy told her as he leaned down to catch her lips in a sweet kiss.

 

 

 

They left shortly after and headed back to the airport. As they sat at the gate waiting to board, Bellamy leaned over to her, just to take her by surprise with a deep and long kiss.

 

  
“Wow. Not that I’m complaining, but what was that for?” She said slightly out of breath.

 

  
“Just because I can.” he said as he smiled brightly back at her.

 

  
They arrived back in Vancouver a few hours later, and couldn’t wait to sleep in their bed again.


	48. Tell me that we belong together.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NYE, Bellamy’s Farewell Party, and a cute and tiny surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting sad, so have a whole chapter of tooth rotting fluff! You deserve it!

 

New Year’s Eve came up quickly, and the group decided to get dressed up and head over to the Parlor’s NYE Bash.

 

Murphy had a set to play that evening and they were all excited to ring in the new year together.

 

  
Clarke and the girls decided to wear different colored sequins each. Octavia had silver, Emori wore blue, Harper wore black, and that left Clarke with red.

 

  
Clarke stepped out to see Bellamy in black dress slacks, a fitted white dress shirt with the top few buttons undone and a shimmering silver jacket. He must have went shopping with Lincoln, who always seemed to dress very James Bond-esque.

 

When Bellamy turned around, his face lite up. Clarke was in a ¾ sleeve, high neck, low v back, mid-thigh dark red sequin dress. “My God, I'm not letting you out of my sight tonight.” He said as he held her hand and spun her around.

 

  
“Good, because I plan on attaching you to my hip.” Clarke laughed.

 

  
“We can pick up a pair of handcuffs if that will make it easier.” he winked.

 

  
“You are ridiculous! We do not need to scar our friends any more than they already have been.” Clarke smacked him lightly as they walked out of the apartment and locked up to go meet everyone.

 

  
“Hey, they know keys are for emergencies only. It’s Murphy’s fault that he just came over without warning.” Bellamy laughed, remembering when Murphy walked in on then being a little extra friendly and naked on the couch last week.

 

  
“I think he learned his lesson.” Clarke joked as they headed to the elevator to meet their friends.

 

 

Once they got to the restaurant, it was packed! Luckily, their friends had snagged their usual booth. It was 9pm and the wolf whistles went out as they approached the table. “Damn, Mom and Dad clean up nice!” Nate shouted.

 

  
“Has Mom and Dad really stuck?” Bellamy asked, exhausted from the nickname argument.

 

  
“Oh yeah, and well earned.” Octavia and Murphy said in an agreement.

 

  
“Well, these parents are off duty for the night, so figure out your game plans now.” Clarke shouted as the music started blaring and the girls joined her out on the dance floor. Bellamy kissed her cheek and sat down with the guys.

 

  
Once a new song came on, Clarke started to dance towards their table and pulled Bellamy up to join her. This song had a more flowing beat to it, and he learned a long time ago that she wouldn’t accept no as an answer when it came to dancing. Clarke also taught him a few Latin moves to help him feel more comfortable on the dance floor.

 

 

_‘I’m in love with the shape of you. We push and pull like a magnet do. Although my heart is falling too, I’m in love with your body. Last night you were in my room, and now my bed sheets smell like you. Everyday discovering something brand new, I’m in love with the shape of you.’_

 

 

 

“If you’re not careful, we aren’t going to make it to midnight.” Bellamy said in her ear, as Clarke’s back was to his chest, and his hands lowered to her hips.

 

  
“Who ever said that was a bad thing?” Clarke laughed.

 

  
“Since apparently we are so old, they would just think we are too tired to hang out too late.” He said in a serious tone.

 

  
Clarke laughed and turned around to him, “We can make it until then, then I promise to make it up to you.” she said with a wink as she led them off the dance floor and towards the bar.

 

  
They ordered drinks and rejoined the table to watch Murphy’s set. He sang some beautiful songs, and Clarke was always so inspired to see how amazing he was.

 

“This next song, is for a few of my friends, so you guys need to get your asses out here.” Murphy said as he was about to play one last song.

 

  
Bellamy looked down at Clarke as soon as the first few chords started to play, “This one is for us.” he whispered as he stood up and held out his hand.

 

  
Clarke could’ve cried that Bellamy had Murphy play this song for them. Every time she heard it come on, she would mention how much she loved the song. Bellamy started singing the lyrics low into her ear as he held her close.

 

 

 

_‘And rain falls angry on the tin roof, as we lie awake in my bed. You’re my survival, you’re my living proof, my love is alive and not dead... I’ll be your crying shoulder. I’ll be love suicide. I’ll be better when I’m older. I’ll be the greatest fan of your life.’_

 

 

 

Clarke felt a tear fall from her eye onto his jacket. This was the sweetest things he could’ve ever done for her.

 

This was his love letter of sorts, as he sang every word and meant it. He gave Clarke a gentle and soft kiss once the song ended and everyone started clapping as Murphy exited the stage to rejoin them and the band picked back up playing an upbeat song.

 

  
Clarke walked up to Murphy as he approached their table, and gave him a big hug, “Thank you.” she said. As simple as it sounded, he knew how much she really meant by it.

 

  
“You going to be able to hold yourself together when we have more heartwarming songs like that to prep for the wedding?” He asked half joking.

 

  
“Maybe, but we should have tissues on hand just in case.” Clarke laughed as he rolled his eyes.

 

 

  
After another hour of dancing, the one-minute countdown began. Everyone made their way to the middle of the dance floor as they were passing out champagne. Bellamy had run off to the bathroom before, and as the countdown started to get lower and lower, Clarke looked around, searching out his eyes.

 

  
There were people everywhere, and she couldn’t see over them to find him, All of the sudden, Octavia climbed on Lincoln’s back and shouted, “BELL! Get over here before I become your girlfriend’s midnight kiss!”.

 

Clarke was dying of laughter with everyone else, and as the countdown went to 1, she felt a familiar pair of hands spin her around and dip her into a deep kiss. Just in time.

 

  
Everyone cheered and wished the other a Happy New Year as they all toasted and finished off their champagne.

 

  
“Everyone, please get home safe! We are headed out, and NO do not come over at all tomorrow! I’m looking at you Murphy!” Bellamy shouted over the crowd.

 

  
“I learned my lesson! Happy New Year Everyone!” Murphy called out, as everyone called back to him the same.

 

  
As soon as they got outside and Bellamy had put his jacket around Clarke, she started to regret her shoe choice as they walked to his car. “Your sister has been a bad influence on me. These shoes, while cute, are not practical for dancing all night.” she complained.

 

  
All of the sudden, she was being scooped up bridal style and carried to the car. “I would’ve said something sooner, if I knew this was the treatment waiting for me.” Clarke laughed into Bellamy’s neck.

 

  
“I would carry you all the way home, but luckily we drove. It’s too cold for that kind of walk.” he joked.

 

  
They made it home, and did not move from the bed for the next 12 hours. What a perfect way to start off the new year.

 

 

 

 

The next two weeks were spent with as much time as Clarke could with Bellamy. He forwent going to the office, except in the mornings when she was working since he was leaving soon.

 

They spent their afternoons and evenings shopping for his trip, cooking together, going out to meet their friends and soaking up every bit of each other as they could.

 

  
The night before Bellamy was set to leave, Clarke had her brave face on, since their friends would be there any minute for a goodbye dinner and game night.

 

She kept a forced smile on her face all day long, that she thought her cheeks would get stuck that way. Clarke helped him pack, check and double check, to make sure nothing was forgotten, and then they sat on the couch and waited for their friends to arrive.

 

  
“You sure you got all the protein bars and shake mixes? And your extra pens and notebooks out of the top drawer? Oh, and the raincoat we bought last week that was in the closet...” Clarke started listing off, until he just placed a gentle hand on her knee.

 

  
“I promise I got everything. Are you okay? You’ve been a going at a million miles an hour all day.” he said as he looked at her like he knew she was avoiding thinking about tomorrow.

 

  
“I just want to make sure you’re prepared. You know how OCD and organized I can be.” Clarke said with a half-smile. She was doing so well, and she promised herself that she would hold it together until she got home from the airport and was alone, then she would be allowed to fall apart.

 

  
As if Bellamy could read her mind, which she was convinced he could, he reached over and pulled her into his side and placed a kiss on top of her head, “I don’t want to think about it either, but I need you here right now. Fully here, not making lists and packing and re-packing my bag. Just be here with me.” he begged.

 

  
“I’m here, I promise.” Clarke said as someone knocked on the door. She blinked back the tears and got up to answer the door.

 

 

**Bellamy:**

  
Bellamy saw Clarke’s watery eyes as she let in Harper and Monty. He knew this was her way of pushing the inevitability of tomorrow out of her mind, but he just felt like she was somewhere else all day today.

 

  
The rest of their friends arrived, Lincoln and Octavia being the last of them, with a box that Bellamy had spoken to Lincoln about around Christmas time. Lincoln brought it tonight, because it held a very special gift.

 

Bellamy nodded towards his bedroom and Lincoln walked towards the door and left the box inside before joining the rest of the group.

 

  
They had an amazing dinner, and they played a few games. Then they all sat around talking about his upcoming trip, wedding plans for Octavia and Lincoln and the office running while he was gone.

 

Octavia stood up and announced, “We got you something to take with you on your trip.” as she handed Bellamy a simple black book. When he opened it, it had contained photos of all of them as a group on new year’s, his birthday, Murphy’s birthday, the beach trip, Thanksgiving and Christmas. It had ones of Clarke and Bellamy in Texas and LA as well as ones from their hiking trip last fall when her family was in town.

 

  
Bellamy looked over all of the pictures, and felt himself get emotional, “This is amazing you guys. I wanted actual prints to hold onto. Thank you, all of you. This means everything.” Bellamy told them.

 

“I actually have a gift for Clarke, but I’m sure the rest of you will enjoy it as well and will want to help while I’m gone.” Bellamy explained.

 

  
Clarke looked at him like he grew a second head, and everyone else except Octavia and Lincoln looked just as confused as Bellamy walked into his room.

 

When he came back into the living room, everyone gasped. Bellamy held in his hand a Min Pin Puppy. He was about 6 months old and was already house broken, thanks to Lincoln and Octavia, who have been keeping him at their house since Christmas when he had gotten in contact with a rescue there in town to adopt him.

 

  
“His name is Cooper. He is very protective and loves to cuddle. I figured he could be a good placeholder for me and could keep you company, and also, I just couldn’t say no to him.” Bellamy said as Clarke took the puppy gently and started crying.

 

  
“You got us a puppy?” she said in shock.

 

  
“I did.” Bellamy said looking down at her holding this adorable puppy.

 

  
“He’s house trained already, and he would love to go on jogs with you and he will protect you when you’re here alone. He’s also a bed hog, so hopefully you can still get some decent sleep with him around.” Octavia said.

 

  
“I can’t believe this. I love him already!” Clarke said beaming. This is how Bellamy wanted to remember her when he wouldn’t be able to see her for a long time.

 

  
“Guy’s we are officially grown-ups! We have a puppy!” Murphy shouted.

 

  
“I have a puppy, but you can come over and play with him.” Clarke said, cuddling the dog in her arms like a baby.

 

 

Shortly after everyone got to pet the puppy, Bellamy put him in Clarke’s room with his blanket and he went right to sleep.

 

Bellamy said his goodbyes to everyone as they went to leave. Nate and Murphy promised to keep the office in one piece, Emori and Harper promised to keep Clarke busy with their normal schedule, Lincoln promised to take care of Octavia, and Octavia said she would say goodbye at the airport with Clarke tomorrow.

 

  
Bellamy went into his room to get all of his luggage and put it by the door and out of the way, then he found Clarke curled up in his bed, clutching one of his pillows when he came to get in bed.

 

  
“Hey, I’m still here you know. You can’t replace me already, that’s why the puppy is in your room tonight.” Bellamy said jokingly as he got into bed next to her, facing her.

 

  
Clarke rolled over to face him, “I still can’t believe you got us a puppy. He is the sweetest thing.” she said, avoiding the subject altogether.

 

  
Bellamy reached out to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear, then he leaned in and kissed her lips slowly, just wanting to savor the feeling. “I will be home before you know it, then you will never be able to get rid of me.” he whispered.

 

  
“Promise?” Clarke said with hope in her voice.

 

  
“I promise you. You’re it for me Clarke. You are the one I want by my side for everything in life, for as long as we have left on this earth.” he told her.

 

  
“That almost sounds like a proposal.” she giggled.

 

  
“Would you ever be opposed to that? I know we haven’t really talked about it, and considering you’ve been through that before, I just wanted to know.” Bellamy asked.

 

  
“I never thought about it, to be honest. I know that I want you and no one else, but I never thought about it, getting married again, so no I don’t think I'm opposed to it.” she said thinking about it thoroughly.

 

  
“Well, that’s good to know, for future reference.” Bellamy said as he leaned in to kiss her again.

 

  
“Planning the future, huh?” She smirked back at him.

 

  
“Maybe. You got a problem with that?” he said with a raised eyebrow and smile.

 

  
“Maybe I do.” She laughed as she sat up and climbed into his lap.

 

  
“And, what are you going to do about it?” he teased her.

 

  
“Not a damn thing.” She replied as she leaned down to kiss him.

 

  
They spent their last night wrapped up in each other completely. Memorizing the way each other felt, how they moved, ever freckle, every scar and every kiss.

 

Bellamy knew this wasn’t goodbye, he would see her again, but he just couldn’t help but treat this like it was the last time, so he could absorb as much of her as he could.


	49. I need you to know, that you have my heart forever.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy have to say goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *WARNING* all the sad feels up ahead. 😭

 

The alarm rang too early the next morning. Bellamy rolled over to see Clarke wrapped in nothing but his bed sheet, and he just wanted to take her with him. He got up quietly and took the puppy next door to Murphy and Emori so they could watch him while they went to the airport, then he started coffee and hopped in the shower.

 

When he came out of the shower, Bellamy saw that Clarke was gone from the bed.

 

  
He walked into the kitchen to see her pouring them both a mug of coffee, and she was wearing one of his sweatshirts with her leggings and knee-high boots.

 

  
“Good morning.” Clarke said with a half-smile, as she sat next to him and they drank their coffee. Bellamy held onto her hand like a lifeline, and she squeezed it back in understanding.

 

  
Shortly after they finished breakfast, Octavia texted and let them know she was there for them to head to the airport. Bellamy took one last look around the apartment, their home, and then he and Clarke grabbed his bags and headed downstairs in silence.

 

  
Once they were in the car with Octavia, she started talking to Bellamy about anything to keep them all preoccupied from what they knew was coming next.

 

  
They all went inside the airport, and Bellamy checked his bags in. Before he walked through the priority security check, he stopped and bent down to give Octavia a big hug. Bellamy told her how proud of her he was, and that he would be back for her wedding. She wiped a single tear away, and then laughed and told him to go on and be a hero. Then there was Clarke...

 

 

**Clarke:**

  
Clarke stood a few feet back to give the siblings some time for their goodbye. Once they broke apart, Octavia turned and looked at Clarke with a sad smile, and went to stand near the exit. This was it. Bellamy was leaving and then it was 120 days between them.

 

  
Clarke stepped into his embrace, and just took in the feeling of his arms around her, the smell of his shirt and the sound of his heart beat.

 

  
“I love you Clarke Griffin. You are my whole world.” He whispered into her ear.

 

  
Clarke felt a tear fall onto the top of her head, and then she couldn’t hold it in anymore. She just held onto him tighter and left out of soft sob. Bellamy just rocked her back and forth gently, until he felt her calm down.

 

Clarke pulled back to see his red watery eyes and she leaned up to wipe a tear off of his cheek. Then she touched her lips to his gently then she whispered, ”I love you so much. I will be here waiting for you.”

 

  
Bellamy just nodded, pulled her in for one more hug, and then kissed her forehead and made his way to security. Once he passed through, he turned around to see Octavia come stand next to Clarke with their arms over each other. Then he waved back at them before he disappeared into the airport crowd.

 

  
Octavia and Clarke were quiet on the drive back to her apartment. Once they got there, Octavia turned to look at her, “I’m going to go home and pack a bag. We are having a girl’s weekend at your place.” she told Clarke.

 

  
“It’s okay O. I promise. I have the puppy and Murphy is next door, I promise I will be fine.” Clarke assured her.

 

  
“You call me at any time if you’re not okay. I will come over, day or night. I love you.” Octavia said as she hugged Clarke.

 

  
“I love you too. We will all be okay, It's just a few months.” Clarke told her with a small smile as she got out of the car and headed upstairs.

 

  
Once Clarke opened the door to their apartment, her phone started ringing. She looked down and saw a goofy smile that she already missed, “Hi.” she barely managed to get out.

 

  
“Babe, I’m so sorry. I just needed to hear your voice one more time before we took off. Are you okay?” Bellamy asked.

 

  
“If I don’t say yes, are you going to try to get off of the plane?” Clarke said through a watery laugh.

 

  
“I would try like hell to.” he said seriously.

 

  
“I will be, but it will hurt for a while. We knew this, and we have prepared for it. How are you doing?” Clarke asked him.

 

  
“I’m not okay. I’m a mess to be honest. The older lady in my row offered me a tissue and a smile already. I must look ridiculous.” Bellamy said trying to laugh.

 

  
“You’re allowed to feel Bell. God knows I have to be reminded of that. Take care of yourself, and come home safe.” Clarke said as she could hear the intercom in the background.

 

  
“I will. I love you.” he choked out.

 

  
“I love you too. See you soon.” Clarke said as the phone line cut off.

 

  
She fell against the wall and slid down to the floor as she let the sadness take over. Clarke just cried without fear of holding back. she thought if she got it all out now, that she would be okay for the rest of the time.

 

  
In the middle of her breakdown, the door to the apartment slowly opened and Cooper came running inside, Murphy following right behind him. He saw Clarke sitting on the floor covered in tears and just came and sat next to her, pulling her into his side.

 

  
“It’s going to be okay. We are all here for you.” he said quietly like a prayer.

 

  
“I’ll be okay, I promise, but right now I just need to feel it and let it all out.” Clarke said as the tears kept pouring.

 

  
“I know. He will be back. this isn’t for forever.” ‘Murphy reminded her.

 

  
“With my luck, I’m scared. I have done this before. Had to say goodbye to the love of my life, and it nearly broke me. I don’t think I could ever do that again. I won’t be able to survive that again.” Clarke cried into his shoulder.

 

  
Murphy just rocked her slowly and whispered comforting words, then Cooper came and sat in her lap and laid his head on her chest.

 

  
“Yes buddy, we are both here for her, we didn’t forget about you.” Murphy said as they looked down at the sweet puppy face looking back at them.

 

  
”The girls are on their way over, no protesting. If you need anything, I am right next door or a phone call away at the office.” Murphy promised as they both stood up and Clarke went to the bathroom to clean up.

 

The girls arrived with ice cream, chick flicks, wine and pizza. They all cuddled on the couch together and cried during ‘PS I love you’ as expected.

 

  
Harper and Emori slept in Clarke’s bed, while Octavia, Cooper and Clarke took Bellamy’s bed, “You are a strong person Clarke. You can make it through these next 4 months like a champ. You’ve been through worse things and survived. And when he gets back, we better be planning another wedding, because I can’t wait for you two to get married already.” Octavia said smiling at Clarke.

 

  
“That’s if he wants to.” Clarke laughed.

 

  
“Oh, trust me, he would’ve married you the day you came back into his life and moved in with him. He’s been waiting to see if it was something you would ever want.” she confessed.

 

  
“Really?” Clarke said a bit surprised.

 

  
“Really. The way you two just fit and make sense, makes the rest of us envy what you two have. It’s something special.” Octavia admitted.

 

  
“I would marry him, if he asked. I never thought it would be something I would ever do again, but I want everything with him.” Clarke told her in the still darkness.

 

  
“Like I said, something special you two have.” Octavia said squeezing Clarke’s hand.

 

  
“You sound like a wise Yoda.” and then they both laughed.

 

  
“We are all going to get through this separation together. Just you wait, he will be home before we know it.” Octavia assured Clarke, and with that thought they both drifted off to sleep.

 

 

 

_Meanwhile, across the world in Thailand..._

  
**Bellamy:**

  
Bellamy had just landed in Thailand, and he had a letter to send to Clarke. He decided to write it on the flight and then he dropped it off in a post box outside of the airport before he boarded the bus to the middle of nowhere for the next four months.

 

 

 

_A week later back in Vancouver..._

  
**Clarke:**

  
Cooper and Clarke had just come back from a walk, and stopped to check the mail. She was sifting through it on the elevator ride up when she came to an envelope with no return address and she waited until they were inside the apartment to gently open it.

 

 

_‘My Girl,_

_  
I’m somewhere over the Pacific Ocean and I just couldn’t stop thinking about you. About what you mean to me, how much my life has changed since I met you and where we could go in this life together._

_  
I am forever indebted to Mother Nature for bringing in a spring blizzard and grounding your flight, the airline for putting you up in the same hotel as me, the convention I was attending for being lame so I could wonder into the lobby bar and meet you and everything else that has pulled us together._

 

_I started writing our story as a way to keep you fresh in my memory when we were apart and searching for each other. You constantly bombarded my thoughts, that I couldn’t work or focus until I had written more about you._

 

_When I saw you sitting in my apartment hallway, I thought the universe was playing a cruel trick on me, that I had hallucinated you into existence or something. It wasn’t until you looked up at me and smiled, that I realized it was you. The universe had finally brought us back together._

_  
I promised myself on that day, that I would do whatever I needed to do to keep you. I would move mountains, swim oceans, and pick up my life and follow you wherever you would go. Then I found out you had decided to call my home, your home. That was one of the best days of my life. I can only think of a few things that could ever possibly top that, and those are things I hope we can have together in the future. I want everything in this life with you, Clarke._

_  
I know this isn’t going to be easy, but I promise you, WHEN we make it through, when I make it home to you, that will be it. No more separation, no more heartache you have my word._

_  
If you got this letter, that means I made it here safely, and as much as I want to hear from you, I don’t have a forwarding address. I will see you on May 14th and then we can start the rest of our lives together._

_  
All my Love, Forever and Always,_

_Bellamy’_

 

 

 

Clarke just fell back onto the couch with her hand over her mouth as she took in his words. She didn’t even realize she had been crying until a tear dropped onto the page in her hand.

 

  
She gently folded the letter back up and put it in her nightstand drawer to keep it safe. It had been a rough week, but she tried to keep her routine to keep herself busy. It was Friday night and everyone was coming over for game night per usual. She decided to take a shower, then get the snacks prepared for everyone.

 

Once she had completed all of those things, Clarke thought back to his words _‘I started writing our story as a way to keep you fresh in my memory when we were apart’._  

 

Clarke took out her laptop and did something that she never thought she would do, she started to write.


	50. Please have mercy on me. Take it easy on my heart.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke deals with Bellamy’s absence.

 

The rest of January passed without any news, even though Clarke knew none would ever come. She continued with work, kickboxing, dance, game nights and playing with Cooper in her free time.

 

At night, she would pass the time by writing. Clarke had a hard time sleeping the first month Bellamy was gone, but she was slowly getting better about exhausting herself during the day, that she would literally fall onto her pillow at night.

 

 

 

February passed much the same, and Bryan had finally come to visit during Valentines weekend. It had marked 1 month since Bellamy had left, and Clarke was feeling extra lonely.

 

Bryan helped distract Clarke by having her take him all over Vancouver, introducing him to her friends and catching up on life in general.

 

”Clarke, I am so happy that you have found a home here with your friends, well family. I’m so jealous.” Bryan had told her on his last night in Vancouver.

 

”You could always move here, you know? Finally meet Bellamy and give him the official stamp of approval.” Clarke joked.

 

”I see the look in your eyes and the smile that lights up your entire face when you talk about him. Official BFF Approval from me.” Bryan said as he squeezed her hand.

 

 

The end of February also marked the 2 year anniversary since Wells had passed away. Clarke didn’t get out of bed the entire day, she skipped dance class and dinner with the girls. Before she knew it, the girls were all in her bed with her snuggled together.

 

 

 

 

March was full of wedding planning. The girls had dress fittings, cake tastings, flower shopping and catering tastings.

 

  
All of the girls were going to wear long pastel colored dresses. Harper had pink, Emori purple, and Clarke was wearing mint blue. The guys would be wearing matching ties, and Octavia’s dress was a gorgeous sweetheart neckline, chiffon dress.

 

Octavia and Lincoln decided on a Red Velvet Tier, a Chocolate Tier and a Vanilla Tier for their cake that Clarke was doing. That was keeping her busy, to which she was thankful for.

 

She was sadly hoping for another letter, when the 1 year since Clarke and Bellamy had met had come up, but still nothing. Nate and Murphy took Clarke out instead, to celebrate them all meeting one year ago.

 

The sadder Clarke got, the more willingly she accepted drinks. Murphy had to carry Clarke into her apartment and put her in Bellamy’s bed with one of his sweatshirts that still smelled like him to get her to calm down.

 

 

 

 

 

April came and brought nicer weather and new life after a rough winter. The trees and flowers were blooming, the sun was out more often and Clarke took up running outdoors again.

 

Octavia had slightly mentioned how much thinner Clarke was getting during one of their last dress fittings when her dress was bigger than the last fitting. After that, everyone made sure Clarke had someone to eat with every evening.

 

  
Clarke’s hair had grown out quite a bit, and she was loving be able to do more with it than just simple waves or tiny pony tail. She spent more time in the sun walking with Cooper and taking him to the dog park more often now that the weather was better.

 

  
She continued writing, and she wanted to have a good chunk of the self appointed project done before Bellamy came home.

 

Clarke spent 1-2 days a week having lunch at the office with Nate and Murphy as they helped her with the writing process. They also gave Clarke the keys to Bellamy’s office so she could use the space, and just feel closer to him any way that she could.

 

 

 

  
As May approached, the entire group was buzzing with wedding plans, Bellamy’s homecoming and everything being right in the world again.

 

  
The girls had planned Octavia’s bachelorette party for the weekend of her original wedding, while the guys went out with Lincoln. They went to a bar in Yale town, sang karaoke and then went to Harper’s house, did face masks and watched all the classic rom-com’s while eating junk food.

 

  
It was finally the day before the rehearsal dinner and Clarke was cleaning the apartment like a mad woman. Bellamy was finally coming home tomorrow, and she couldn’t be more excited.

 

Once she was done, she headed over to the guys office and printed the first 100 pages of this piece she had been working on.

 

  
The next day, all of the girls had taken over Murphy’s apartment for wedding prep, since all of the guys were staying at Octavia and Lincoln’s house for the night.

 

  
Clarke kept checking her phone all day, waiting for a call or text from Bellamy, but nothing ever came. Clarke could see the nerves on Octavia’s face as she kept checking her phone too. The guys were suppose to pick up Bellamy from the airport and meet them at the gallery for the rehearsal dinner, but Clarke figured he would’ve called by now.

 

  
The girls finished getting ready, and as they left to head to the venue, Clarke sent a quick text to Bellamy hoping he would get it and respond.

  
_ **Clarke** _

_  
‘Hey! Welcome back! I’ve missed you, and we haven’t heard from you. Hopefully I’ll see you soon. On our way now to the rehearsal dinner. Can’t wait to see you.’_

 

 

  
Nothing ever came. A part of Clarke was freaking out, but she tried to keep it together on the outside for Octavia.

 

  
Once they got to the venue, Lincoln pulled Octavia aside right away and started talking to her. Clarke looked right in front of her and saw Nate and Murphy approaching her, like they were approaching a wounded animal.

 

  
“What happened? Where is he?” Clarke asked.

 

  
“He didn’t show up to the airport. We waited, called him, texted him, but nothing. We called Charles back in LA to see if he had heard from him, but he hadn’t yet. He was going to call his contact over in Thailand to make sure that Bellamy got on his plane to get back. We are still waiting to hear from him.” Nate explained.

 

  
Then Clarke felt it, the panic. This was all too familiar. Everything started to blur and she couldn’t breathe in the dress she was in. All of the sudden, she walked back out of the front doors and let the cool spring night hit her.

 

This can’t be happening, he’s okay, just late.  
Murphy came out after her and talked her through it. He has had to do this more often lately, but Clarke was so grateful that he could always get her through these.

 

  
“It’s okay. He is fine wherever he is, he wouldn’t dare miss his sisters wedding or coming home to you.” Murphy kept whispering in her ear as he held Clarke and tried to get her to follow his deep breaths.

  

The rest of the evening was less than perfect. Everyone was distracted worried about Bellamy. Octavia was panicking, wondering if they would need to postpone the wedding while Lincoln comforted her.

 

Nate and Murphy were trying like crazy to find information on Bellamy’s location and Harper and Emori were holding Clarke’s hands telling her that they would find him.


	51. Take my hand. Take my whole life too.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s wedding time bitches! (As only S1 Octavia could say)

 

_Meanwhile, somewhere in China…_

  
**Bellamy:**

  
The flight in Thailand was delayed several hours due to an engine issue, they wouldn’t let Bellamy off the plane to make a phone call since his phone had been crushed about a month ago while he was taking photos and it fell down a steep cliff. He didn’t take his laptop with him to Thailand since there wasn’t much use for it there, so he couldn’t even send an email.

 

Bellamy ended up on a smaller plane to Beijing to get a connecting flight to LA. He had been up for more than 24 hours at this point and he was beyond exhausted trying to figure out the time and the day it currently was there in Beijing as well as back home in Vancouver. He could not miss Octavia’s wedding and he was sure that they were all panicking at the moment.

 

  
Bellamy didn’t have anyone’s number memorized since dumb phones made that skill unnecessary, but he did call collect to the office hoping someone was still there to get him through to one of the guys so they could let the group know where he was, but no one answered.

 

He finally got on a flight to LA that would put him there at 7am Saturday morning. From there he could get to Vancouver by noon and make it in time for the 2pm ceremony. Bellamy was going to be cutting it close, but he could make it.

 

He fell asleep on the flight from China to California, knowing that it was the only sleep he would be getting for some time.

 

 

_Meanwhile, back in Vancouver…  
_

**Clarke:**

  
Everyone was all able to talk Octavia into going back with the girls and getting some rest, while the guys tried to find Bellamy. It took a lot of convincing, but they all finally got some sleep around midnight.

 

  
At 8am the girls were all up and having breakfast that was delivered along with coffee and mimosas. They all got their hair and makeup done and did their absolute best to keep Octavia preoccupied.

 

  
By 1pm they were headed for the gallery, still no word from the guys about Bellamy. Once they arrived, the girls went up to the office loft area and stationed there until show time.

 

  
Emori went downstairs to get an update, only to find all of the Guys standing outside by the beautiful archway on the large patio speaking in hushed tones.

 

 

**Bellamy:**

  
Bellamy finally landed in Vancouver, it took forever to get off the plane, than to get his bags from baggage claim and then he was in an Uber headed for his apartment. He was hoping the girls were still there.

 

Bellamy needed the fastest shower possible and to get his suit out from his closet. His hair had grown out a bit, and he now had a beard, but there was no time to fix any of that right now. Hopefully, everyone didn’t mind the new look since it would be in all of the pictures.

 

  
When he arrived at the apartment, Bellamy dropped his bags by the front door and ran into his room. No one was there, so he took the fastest shower possible and threw his suit on and grabbed his car keys, messing with his tie on the elevator ride down to the garage and then headed for the art gallery.

 

 

**Clarke:**

  
It’s was time to head downstairs, all of the guests were seated, Murphy was on the left side of the aisle with his keyboard setup, Lincoln was on the right hand side with Nate and Monty and the girls and Clarke stood right inside the doors, waiting for the go ahead.

 

  
“He’s not here. I can’t do this without him.” Octavia started to panic.

 

  
“Hey, you can do this. You love Lincoln and Bellamy would do anything to be here. We will find him and recreate this is we have to, or I can go up there and tell everyone we need to wait. Your call.” Clarke told her as she held Octavia’s hands.

 

  
Octavia nodded really quick and said, “I need to do this. Go on, I’ll be okay.”

 

  
Clarke was the first to walk out, since she was singing with Murphy while Octavia walked down the aisle. The doors opened and the march started playing. Here we go.

 

  
**Octavia:**

  
Clarke has just walked down the aisle, followed by Harper then Emori. Octavia was starting to panic. Her brother was really going to miss her wedding. As the doors closed, waiting for the song to change so she could walk down the aisle, she felt a warm hand on her shoulder.

 

  
“Hey little sister. I can’t tell you how sorry I am…” but Octavia cut him off with a huge hug and sigh of relief.

 

  
“You’re really here.” she said with tears.

 

  
“I am, hey none of that crying. You look absolutely beautiful Octavia. I’m sorry, everything got so delayed and my phone was crushed and I couldn’t get ahold of anyone. But I’m here.” Bellamy said in awe.

 

  
“Nice beard caveman.” Octavia joked.

 

  
“Be glad I had 2 minutes for a shower before I got here.” Bellamy laughed. “You ready for this?” he asked.

 

  
“More than anything.” she told him as the doors re-opened and Octavia heard the chords of the song she had chosen.

 

  
Before they took their first step, Octavia looked up at her big brother while he was looking back and her smiling, then he heard it. Bellamy heard Clarke’s voice, and then his face changed into one of shock.

 

Octavia laughed as she nudged him along, “Let’s go see your girl.” she whispered to him as they turned the corner to see the crowd starting to stand.

 

 

**Clarke:**

  
Clarke had just made it down the aisle, and then she watched Harper and Emori followed.

 

The doors shut and Murphy looked over at her, “You ready for this?”

 

  
Clarke just nodded and Murphy started to play. Clarke was so focused on looking at Lincoln, wanting to see his first reaction when he first saw Octavia, before she turned to see one of her best friends walk down the aisle and marry the love of her life.

 

 

  
_‘Wise men say, only fools rush in, but I can’t help falling in love with you.’_

 

 

  
Clarke saw the look of utter shock on Lincoln’s face, and then it melted into a teary smile. Clarke turned to look at Octavia and she almost lost the words in her throat.

 

  
There he was, and with a beard? That’s not important right now. Bellamy was finally here, escorting his sister down the aisle with the brightest smile on his face.

 

 

  
_‘Shall I stay? Would it be a sin? If I can’t help falling in love with you.’_

 

 

  
Bellamy turned and looked at Clarke with laser focus, like they were the only two people in the world. His eyes were watery as they got closer, and his eyes never left hers.

 

 

  
_‘Take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can’t help falling in love with you.’_

 

 

  
Bellamy and Octavia stopped at the beginning of the altar, he kissed his sister on the cheek, handed her off to Lincoln and went to stand by his new Brother-in laws side.

 

  
Clarke took her place next to Octavia now that the song was over and held her bouquet that she handed off.

 

Clarke tried paying attention to the ceremony as much as she could, but she felt Bellamy’s eyes on her the entire time. When Clarke would look up at him, he would be smiling at her so brightly she couldn’t take it. Then he would look at his sister and Lincoln and try to pay attention.

 

  
When it came to the vows, Bellamy’s found Clarke’s eyes again as he smiled and held her gaze the entire time.

 

  
_“I promise to love you, protect you, be your shelter from the cruelties of this world, your partner in everything we do in this life. I will never leave you, or make you feel anything less than beautiful and worthy every day. You are the best piece of me, the other half of my heart. Together we are whole and I could not imagine my life without you, and I am glad that after today I won’t ever have to find out. I love you with all of my being.”_  Lincoln recited.

 

  
As they all wiped tears away, Clarke handed Octavia her vows she was holding onto.

 

  
_“It may have taken us a while to get here to this day, but I’m so glad it happened when it did. I’m afraid if it would’ve happened any sooner or any later, we may have never gotten here. I believe that every choice we make, every person we meet and every obstacle we face, is necessary to bring us to where we are meant to be. I know that everything that has happened in my life, is what led me to you. I am forever grateful for those trials and tests, since it has brought us here today. I cannot wait to start our forever, from this day forward. I love you.”_  Octavia finished.

 

  
Clarke couldn’t wipe the tears away fast enough, looks like Bellamy was having the same issue.

 

When the officiant announced Lincoln and Octavia as Husband and Wife, everyone cheered at the top of their  lungs as they shared their first kiss!

 

  
Instead of the traditional march back up the aisle, the guests were dismissed inside as the rest of the group stayed put for photos.

 

  
Everyone was hugging Lincoln and Octavia and then the photographer took charge before Bellamy and Clarke could say a word to each other. He kept looking over at her, almost wondering if she was real.

 

  
They took full bridal party photos, then the photographer took ones of the Bride and Groom with the Bellamy and Clarke as the best man and maid of honor. Then all the guys together, and all of the girls together. Before we were dismissed so they could get ones of just the Bride and Groom, Octavia asked if they could do ones of each couple. Emori and Murphy were first, then Monty and Harper, and Nate and Jackson.

 

   
Before it was Clarke and Bellamy’s turn, Clarke felt his presence behind her, “You still sure you want to be tied to a Vega bond like myself?” he joked.

 

  
Clarke turned to see him fully, taking in his longer hair, his beard, his tan that had developed and showed more of his freckles, “Any day and every day.” Clarke whispered behind tears.

 

  
Bellamy stepped forward and finally took her in his arms for the first time in four months, and Clarke held onto him tight, worried he would disappear if she didn’t, “God I missed you. I’m so sorry I was late. I know you must have been worried.” he told her in her ear.

 

  
“You’re here now, that’s all that matters.” Clarke said as they were called up to have their picture taken next. Bellamy held her hand and led her to the archway as they were positioned to pose for the camera. There were not forced smiles needed for this one.

 

  
After a few pictures Octavia yelled out,” Enough with the stiff poses, now pose like you actually love each other and haven’t seen each other in four whole months!” and everyone started cheering and wolf whistling as Bellamy grab Clarke by the waist, his other hand behind her neck and dipped her into a movie like, deep kiss.

 

  
When they finally broke apart, Clarke looked at him with surprise, “Don’t ever leave again.” she said out of breath.

 

  
“Never.” He said as he took her face in his hands and kissed her again.

 

  
After a quick second, the photographer asked for the Bride and her Brother to stay for pictures before she did the Bride and Groom’s. The rest of them went inside to finish up any last-minute details for the reception.


	52. You’re all I ever wanted.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the wedding fun continues...

 

The bar was set, the dance floor cleared, the band place on the stage, the cake was out and setup perfectly, and all of the guests were seated at their round tables surrounding the dance floor.

 

  
Murphy had announced Octavia and Lincoln as they entered the gallery and took to the dance floor for their first dance, as Murphy started strumming his guitar. Clarke was standing on stage with him, as she spotted Bellamy taking his seat at their group table.

 

 

 

_‘I found a love for me. Darling just dive right in, follow my lead. I found a girl beautiful and sweet. I never knew you were that someone waiting for me.’_

 

 

 

Clarke watched the happy couple swayed together and shared secrets as they were in their own world, laughing and smiling so bright. Then like a magnet, Clarke found Bellamy’s eyes as he was staring at her intently, smile never wavering.

 

 

 

‘ _Baby, I’m dancing in the dark, with you between my arms. Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song. When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful I don’t deserve it, darling you look perfect tonight._ ’

 

 

 

Clarke prepared as her verse was coming up, but she couldn’t move her eyes away from Bellamy.

 

 

 

_‘Well I found a man, stronger than anyone I know. He shares my dreams I hope that someday we’ll share a home. I found a love to carry more than just my secrets, to carry love, to carry children of our own. We are still kids but we’re so in love, fighting against all odds, I know we’ll be alright this time. I see my future in your eyes.’_

 

 

  
As the first dance came to a close, Clarke slowly exited the stage, and before she got across to the table, Murphy announced, “The Bride would now like to share a dance with her brother.” as Bellamy got up from his seat and walked onto the dance floor to take Octavia’s hand from Lincoln.

 

  
Clarke went to sit with their group at the table as she watched the siblings, who had become so important in her life, share a dance.

 

 

**Bellamy:**

  
Bellamy walked out onto the dance floor to meet his sister, just as Clarke was walking to their table. He was going to need to find a time to finally get to talk to her, but right now this was about Octavia.

 

 

“Thank you for making it on time. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you couldn’t be here.” Octavia said as they started to dance.

 

  
“I’m so sorry it took so long. There was engine trouble on the plane in Thailand that delayed us for quite a few hours. I finally got to Beijing and then got a flight to LA, which finally got me here. I don’t even know what day it is or what time it is anymore.” Bellamy told her laughing.

 

  
“It’s my wedding day, and it’s time you talk to Clarke about your future together now that you are home. I have never seen someone love you as much as she does. She took care of herself, and we took care of her for you as well. It was rough for a while there.” Octavia admitted.

 

  
“Thank you for helping her while I was gone. I know I missed some important milestones while I was. On those days I wanted to escape the camp and find a way to call her, but I couldn’t. They had strict protocols in place to make sure that didn’t happen.” Bellamy explained.

 

  
“She knows that. Wells’ death anniversary was the worst day. We all came over and helped her through it, and she was better a few days later. Cooper was one of your best ideas. She loves that dog so much, and he has really helped her stay busy and have someone there for comfort at all times.” Octavia told him as the song came to a close.

 

“Thank you for everything you’ve done for me big brother. I couldn’t have made it here without you. Now, it’s time for you to go get your happy ending too.”

 

 

 

‘ _I look to you, after all my strength is gone, in you I can be strong. I look to you, I look to you. And when melodies are gone, in you I hear a song, I look to you.’_

 

 

 

They ended their dance as Bellamy led Octavia over to their table so she and Lincoln could go around to their guests. Bellamy looked over and saw that Clarke’s seat was empty, so he went looking for her.

 

He found Clarke at the bar, glass of champagne in her hand. “Hey, there you are.” he said as he went to stand next to her, and flagged the bartender down for his own drink, after the last few months he could use one.

 

  
“You found me. Should’ve known this was the first place to look.” she joked.

 

  
“Come here.” Bellamy said as he pulled her into his chest and held onto her.

 

  
“Where were you?” she whispered.

 

  
“I got stuck in Thailand, engine issue on the plane. I finally made it to China, then got a connecting flight to LA and finally here this morning. I went to the apartment hoping to catch someone, but everyone was gone, so I took a fast shower, threw on my suit and rushed right over. I’m so sorry.” Bellamy told her.

 

  
“What happened to your phone?” Clarke asked.

 

  
“I was trying to be all cool and artsy taking pictures, and it fell down off a cliff.” he chuckled, remembering how dumb he felt afterwards. “I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere again. Not without you.” he told her.

 

As he heard a familiar song play, and saw couples heading out to the dance floor, Bellamy looked at her, “It’s been a good while since we’ve had a dance. Join me?” he asked holding out his hand to Clarke.

 

  
“Always.” she said as the joined the rest.

 

 

 

_‘You know I'd fall apart without you. I don’t know how you do what you do. Cause everything that don’t make sense about me, makes sense when I’m with you. Like everything that’s green, girl I need you. And it’s more than one and one makes two. Put aside the math and the logic of it, you got to know you’re wanted too.’_

 

 

 

“Not a day went by that I didn’t miss you, need you, want to see and talk to. I almost gave up so many times and just said screw it and came home. Every time I almost quit, I thought about all the times you’ve never given up. On me or yourself, and I owed this to you, to me, to us to finish and see this project through.” Bellamy confessed to her.

 

 

 

_‘As good as you make me feel, I want to make you feel better. Better than your fairytales, better than your best dreams, you’re more than everything I need. You’re all I ever wanted.’_

 

 

 

“You deserve the world Clarke. You deserve happiness, love and everything else this life has to offer. And if you’ll let me, I will spend the rest of my days giving you all of that and more. I told you I would make this up to you when I got home, and I hope you will let me.” Bellamy told her.

 

 

 

_‘And I just want to wrap you up, want to kiss your lips, I want to make you feel wanted. I want to call you mine, want to hold your hand forever and never let you forget it. Baby I, want to make you feel wanted.’_

 

 

 

“I talked to Charles on the way here. I have earned my place to stay home. For good. Anywhere I want to go from now on is completely up to me, and I can bring you if you want to go too. He’s sending a new contract over on Monday making it official.” Bellamy finished with a smile

 

  
Clarke looked at him with surprise, and then he saw a single tear fall from her eye, “Man, when you come home, you really come back swinging with those declarations.” she said a bit out of breath. “Makes your welcome home gift I got you, look ridiculous in comparison.”

 

  
“Well, you know I never say no to gifts from you.” Bellamy said as he leaned down to kiss the tip of her nose, making her laugh. God, he missed that sound.

 

  
The song ended, and they announced that the couple was cutting the cake now. “That’s my cue. I’ll be back as soon as I help cut the cake. Don’t move.” Clarke said with a smile as she led him back to their table.

 

 

Once all the cake was served, Bellamy was looking around for Clarke , and then he saw her on stage with Murphy. Bellamy was glad that she had seemed to overcome her fears, and that Murphy was there to bring out this side of her.

 

 

 

_’When your legs don’t work like they use to before, and I can’t sweep you off of your feet. Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love? Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?”_

 

 

 

Octavia and Lincoln had gone out to the dance floor, followed by the rest of the table. Bellamy stood up and just watched Clarke, never being able to stray too far away from her.

 

 

 

_‘And darling I will be loving you ‘til we’re seventy. And baby, my heart can still fall as hard at twenty-three. I’m thinking about how people fall in love in mysterious ways, maybe it’s all part of a plan. Me I fall in love with you every single day, and I just want to tell you I am.’_

 

 

 

Clarke looked right at Bellamy and he could see her eyes water, as she sang to him every word.

 

 

 

**Clarke:**

  
Clarke couldn’t really make grand speeches like Bellamy, she wasn’t that type of artist, but she used the beautiful song she and Murphy were singing to try and convey to him what he really means to her. Where she see them going forward. How she doesn’t want to spend another day away from him. That she would do anything for him. That he means more to her than she ever thought anyone could. Clarke exited the stage and started slowly walking towards Bellamy as she continued to sing.

 

 

 

_‘Baby now, take me into your loving arms. Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars. Place your head on my beating heart. I’m thinking out loud, that maybe we found love right where we are.’_

 

 

 

Bellamy walked towards Clarke and met her in the middle of the dance floor and held onto her waist.

 

Clarke just leaned up and kissed him gently when the song ended. “I have something for you.” she whispered to him, as she led him outside to the large patio.


	53. Today is where your book begins...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has a surprise for Bellamy that might just change everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Show Day!  
> My goal was to finish this by the end of today when the show Premiers at 8pm CST (My time zone). So the last three chapters are coming today, starting with this one!

 

The music continued on inside, as Bellamy and Clarke were the only two people outside. Clarke grabbed a wrapped gift box from her chair at their table on their way out and handed it to Bellamy.

 

  
“Before you open this, I just want to say thank you. For accepting me, my choices and respecting my wishes. I also want to say that I’m sorry that I took so long to do this, and I hope that you can forgive me for being late.” Clarke led with, and Bellamy’s look of confusion grew. She nodded at him and he slowly opened the box and saw a manuscript sitting inside.

 

  
“It’s only the first draft, and only about 1/3 of what I actually have written out, but with some amazing help, this is what I have to show you so far.” Clarke explained.

 

  
Bellamy’s hand slowly drifted over the words of the title ‘Breathe Again’ and then his eyes shot up to hers.

 

  
“Look at the first page.” Clarke told him.  
He turned over the cover page to find:

 

 

_‘To my Love,  
_

_Thank you for giving me the strength and confidence to tell my story, our story. Thank you for showing me how to live and trust again. Thank you for accepting me as I am and loving me more than I ever thought I deserved. Most importantly, thank you for helping me learn how to Breathe Again._

__  
Forever and Always,  
Clarke’

 

 

Bellamy looked up at Clarke with a tear in his eye and set the box on the ledge and pulled her into his chest, “You wrote this? Clarke, I am so proud of you.” he whispered into her hair.

 

  
“I took what you already had, and added what I could. It’s still not finished. I need you to finish this with me. This is your story too, our story. This is also just the first draft, so it’s probably filled with error’s and misspellings but...” then Bellamy cut her off with a soft and gentle kiss.

 

  
“This is one of the best things I could ever receive. Of course, I will finish this with you, there is nothing I would rather do. God, I love you.” Bellamy said as he fit his mouth back to hers.

 

 

 

_‘I’m just beginning, the pens in my hand, ending unplanned. Staring at the blank page before you, open up the dirty window, let the sun illuminate the words that you cannot find. Reaching for something in the distance, so close you can almost taste it, release your inhibitions...’_

 

 

 

Clarke and Bellamy heard the thunder rolling in the distance, but made no move to go inside. “Are we really doing this? Are we writing a book together?” He asked still in shock.

 

  
“I think we are. Do you think anyone would even care to read it?” Clarke asked honestly.

 

  
“Even if it’s just for us, it would still be the best book in the world in my opinion. Where do we end it though? I mean I feel like we are just getting started.” Bellamy asked.

 

  
“We write what we have, and the rest, well, it’ll come when it comes.” Clarke told him with a slight shrug.

 

  
“Well, this next part is definitely going in there.” and before she could ask, Bellamy pulled her by the waist and gave her a deep kiss as the rain started to fall. “Every good story needs a rain scene.” he said laughing.

 

 

 

_‘Feel the rain on your skin. No one else can feel it for you, only you can let it in. No one else can speak the words on your lips. Drench yourself in words unspoken, live your life with arms wide open. Today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten.’_

 

 

  
                      ** _One week later_**

 

The group was celebrating Clarke’s 30th Birthday as well as Octavia and Lincoln’s return from their honeymoon.

 

  
“To Clarke, for being the last one of us to reach this milestone!” Harper toasted.

 

  
They were all having a fun brunch and would be headed to an outdoor concert for the afternoon, but before they finished, Bellamy had a gift for Clarke, “You getting your signed contact this week saying no more long trips was the best gift you could have gotten me already.” Clarke told him as he handed her an envelope.

 

  
“You are officially going to be a published author for Manning Publishers. Charles loved what we sent him so far, and they are going to be printing ‘Breathe Again’.” Bellamy announced to the group.

 

  
Clarke just teared up, and couldn’t believe the offer letter she was reading. “Are you serious? They really think it’s good enough?” she said in shock.

 

  
“Not only do they think it’s good, they think it would make a great screen adaptation.” Bellamy said with a proud smile.

 

  
“To Clarke and Bellamy. Best Sellers list, here we come!” Murphy shouted as everyone cheered.

 

  
Bellamy just pulled Clarke into his side, “Happy?” it was such a simple question, that held the answer to so many other questions.

 

  
“More than anything.” Clarke answered as she reached up to kiss him.

 

 

 

_3 months later..._

  
**Bellamy:**

  
Bellamy and Clarke had been working on the book non-stop. Writing each of their pieces, fitting them together to intertwine, editing, re-writing and re-editing. There were times things would get tense, and they were stuck or sleep deprived, but it never lasted too long. They were getting paid to literally spend time together, writing their story. Not much to complain about there.

 

  
They had just sent out the final draft to LA and they would be doing the final edits. They were out celebrating the culmination of all of their hard work with their friends on a Friday night, and it was a much-needed break from having to think about how certain words fit, and sentences flowed. They could just be Bellamy and Clarke.

 

  
They had slept so well that night, knowing that they didn’t have a deadline looming and that they were finally finished with the hard part. They got back to their routine, with Clarke coming to the office a little more often, Cooper in tow, as he had become the office pet and everyone loved him.

 

  
It was a week after they submitted the final draft that they got the call while they were working in Bellamy’s office one day, “Hey Charles, how are things?” Bellamy asked.

 

  
“Excellent. I have some exciting news, is Clarke with you?” He asked.

 

  
“She sure is, let me put you on speaker.” Bellamy told him.

 

  
“Okay you two, the board is so excited about ‘Breathe Again’ that they are pushing it to be published by the New Year. If you two could get some sample artwork to us of what you are thinking about for the cover, we can start putting together some options for you to choose from. I’m so proud of both of you, and you will be receiving more details on the book launch within the next two weeks.” Charles told them, as they took in how real this all was, thanked him and hung up.

 

  
“Holy crap, they are really going to put it out there, for people to read?” Clarke said trying to wrap her mind around everything.

 

  
“They are. You did it!” Bellamy told her, standing up to hug her.

 

  
“We did it. This wouldn’t have been possible without you starting it, and all of the work you have poured into this.” Clarke said as she held onto him.

 

  
“Ready to be a badass Clarke?” Bellamy asked her with a raised eyebrow.

 

  
She matched his look with her own, “Wasn’t I always?”

 

  
Bellamy just laughed, “Yeah, you always have been. Ready to be a published Badass?” he corrected.

 

  
“Much better. With you, always!” she said as her smile beamed up at him.

 

 

 

_4 months later..._

  
**Clarke:**

  
It was the week before Christmas, and Bellamy and Clarke received a package in the mail from Manning Publishers, so she brought it upstairs and set it on the counter, “This came. Do you think it’s...” she trailed off.

 

  
“You do the honors.” Bellamy said smiling up at her from the kitchen.

 

  
Clarke slowly opened the package, and there is was. The first two copies of ‘Breath Again’. It was two actual books, with Clarke and Bellamy’s names printed on it and everything.

 

  
“Oh my God, this is so real it’s crazy.” Clarke said in shock.

 

  
Bellamy came over and picked up one of the copies, “This is going to be one of my most prized possessions.”

 

  
They stood there together, looking over this amazing thing that they had created together.

 

”From the beginning?” Bellamy said, as he cleared his throat.

 

_“It’s ominous isn’t it? For the dark skies to open up and pour rain on a day like today.”_ Bellamy started reading.


	54. Life’s a climb, but the view is great.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy go through their book being published, and all that it entails.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one more chapter. I’m so sad to see it end, but so thankful for everyone who has taken the time to read this WIP. ❤️

 

_1 month later..._

**Bellamy:**

  
Bellamy and Clarke’s book was released a month later, and they had a huge launch party with all of our friends and family at the Art Gallery. Charles was there, as well as Clarke’s Mother Abby, her Sister Raven and Wick. Her best friends Bryan and Anya came all the way to Vancouver to celebrate with them too.

 

  
‘Breathe Again’ went straight to the top of the best sellers list, to no one’s surprise except Clarke’s. She still couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact that people wanted to read her words, her story. She was being flooded with messages from fans telling her how this story had helped them. Clarke learned quickly how many others had been through similar situations, and that she could make a difference.

 

  
Charles immediately suggested a book tour to meet fans and sign copies of the book. Bellamy and Clarke left in February, and travelled across the US and Canada doing book signings, morning talk shows, and Q&A sessions for the book. They were gone for 3 months doing the tour, and luckily Cooper got to go along with them.

 

   
The Q&A’s were Bellamy’s favorite part. The fans really took an interest in the fact that the was classified as a ‘Based on True Story Fiction’ which meant some of the things on the book were true and some was just story.

 

There were some name changes for people and places as well. The fans favorite thing was to ask if their personal favorite part of the book fell into the true story or the fiction part. Bellamy and Clarke usually told them that it was best for them to discover for themselves.

 

  
The second question was always directed at Bellamy, “When are you ever going to propose to this woman and marry her already?” an older lady asked at their most recent book signing.

 

  
“If I told you that, there may never been a sequel to the story.” Bellamy told her. Oh yeah, people were already asking for a sequel to the book.

 

  
One of their last stops of the tour was in Boston, where it all began for them. Clarke and Bellamy had gone back to the dive bar they went to in Boston that night 2 years ago to relive the moment.

 

  
After the final signing on their last day in Boston, Bellamy drove them to the Airport hotel where they first met. When they pulled in Clarke’s eyes lit up, ”What are we doing here?”

 

  
“We aren’t leaving until tomorrow, so I thought we could stay here for tonight, for old times' sake.” Bellamy told her.

 

  
They checked into a large suite on the top floor, and before they made it to the room, Bellamy double checked his phone to make sure he had the go ahead from his special friend that was helping get their room ready.

 

  
When they got to the door, Bellamy had Clarke go in first. As soon as he heard her gasp, he knew everything was good to go.

 

  
There were candles making a trail through the sitting area to the bedroom, where there were rose petals everywhere, and written in them on the bed was the words ‘Marry Me?’

 

  
As Clarke was staring at the bed in absolute shock, Bellamy knelt down behind her and pulled the ring out of his pocket.

“Babe?” he called to her as she turned around and her eyes widened in surprise.

 

 

“I have been carrying this thing around for almost a year now, trying to find the right time to do this. I thought about grand gestures in front of large crowds, but you are not that kind of person, and with a lot of our life now open to the public, I wanted to do something more like us. Nostalgia, and just the two of us is way more our speed, so as soon as I saw that Boston was the last stop on our tour, I knew this was it. This is where I needed to ask you the most important question of my life.”

 

  
“My life truly began the day I saw you sitting in the hotel bar downstairs. I may have not known it then, but I knew it before I ever left this place that weekend. We lost one another, and found our way back again. We have been through our ups and downs, disagreements and victories, separations and reunions. We have an amazing life together, we are very lucky, but if I can be greedy for just a minute, to ask you for one more thing, to push my luck, I want to ask you if you would make me an even happier and luckier man than I already am, and Marry me?” Bellamy asked her.

 

  
Clarke stood there frozen. Bellamy wasn't even sure if she had heard him. Then, he saw it in her eyes. Realization hit her and she just let her tears flow freely now, “Are you serious?” she asked, this is not where he saw this going, but then, “I can’t think of anything else in the world I would rather do. So, hell yeah I’ll marry you.” there was his girl.

 

 

They laughed as Bellamy picked her up and spun her around, before he kissed her deeply.

 

  
“I think you are supposed to put that on for me.” Clarke whispered against his lips.

 

  
Bellamy reached for her left hand and place the ring on her finger. It was one of the best feelings he had ever had in his life.

 

 

 

They got home the next day to their friends throwing them a Surprise Engagement/Welcome Home party at Parlor.

 

  
They all celebrated everything that has happened over the last two years.  
Clarke moving there to Vancouver and into their lives, Murphy and Emori officially moving in together, Harper and Monty were getting married in the fall, Octavia and Lincoln had surpassed their first year of Marriage and had a little one on the way, Nate and Jackson were buying a house together, and Clarke and Bellamy just got engaged and finished their first book tour.

 

Life was crazy, and it was insane what could happen all because of one moment.

 

  
One moment, one choice, one mistake can all lead to something completely unexpected, and luckily for them, it led Bellamy and Clarke to the amazing life they have before them.


	55. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the finale! Thank you so much to everyone who has been on this journey. I appreciated every comment, kudos, feedback and advice!
> 
> Again, this is based on my first novel that is scheduled to be completed and finished on Wattpad by the end of May 2019!
> 
> As I wrote this, I was inspired by the thought of this being turned into a movie someday, maybe featuring some amazing lead actors from the show we all know and love that are featured in this fic! (What a dream that would be, right?)
> 
> So if you happen to be a WattPad user, be on the lookout for this to be published in the next month under the same title ‘Breathe Again.’
> 
> I appreciate all of the support, and who knows? Maybe if enough people like this, a sequel may be a possibility.
> 
> All my Love ❤️❤️❤️  
> ✌🏼
> 
>  
> 
> I’m new on Twitter so come yell at me and discuss there @BlakesBodyGuard

****

**_ One year later_ **

 

Bellamy and Clarke were sitting in a limo of all places, looking out the window as the cars drove past. Clarke couldn’t believe they were here after all this time.

 

After their book tour ended last year, Bellamy and Clarke were informed that a movie deal was already sent to to them, to which they quickly accepted.

 

  
Bellamy finally got to write his screen play, and they both got to be a big part of the casting and directing decisions for the movie.

 

  
Clarke could have never imagined that she would get to this place, but she couldn’t be happier to be doing it with the man sitting next to her, messing with his shirt collar, “I told you it’s perfect, now quit messing with it.” Clarke said as she jokingly swatted Bellamy’s hands away.

 

  
“This is a red carpet. People know who we are now, our faces are going to be plastered everywhere. I don’t want to end up being on the worst dressed list because I’m not paying attention.” Bellamy said radiating with nerves.

 

  
“I think once they see this,” Clarke held up her hand with her engagement ring on it, “Your shirt will be the last thing they are worried about.”

 

  
Yes, Bellamy and Clarke had managed to keep their engagement a secret from the public. Anytime they had meetings or press, Clarke would simply wear the ring around her neck and tucked away from prying eyes. They wanted some semblance of privacy, because they wanted a small wedding with just their friends and family.

 

They didn’t want their wedding publicized and plastered all over the internet, so they managed to keep it quiet.

 

  
Clarke and Bellamy did however, agree to somewhat announce it that evening. Because, what everyone didn’t know is that after the premiere of the film, they would be on a flight to their wedding destination. They figured if they let people know they were engaged now, there would be no way they would expect them to be married tomorrow.

 

  
Bellamy and Clarke would be Husband and Wife before the magazine articles could be printed, and they could have the wedding they had been planning for a year now, and that was an accomplishment they were proud of.

 

  
“If anyone gets grabby with you and your hand, I might not be as cool and level headed, so stay close tonight.” Bellamy said kissing Clarke’s cheek.

 

  
“I wouldn’t leave you if I could, you get spooked around flash photography. Can’t have you running off.” Clarke teased him.

 

  
As the car came to a stop, and the driver opened the door, Bellamy stepped out first and Clarke could already see all the flashes, “Ready Baby?” Bellamy said with a wink.

 

  
Clarke took a deep breath, “With you? Always.”

 

And with that they stepped out into their next adventure together.


End file.
